Fang Hua actually agreed to go back to the imperial palace with Han ZichuanâŠ
I stood dazed, but he just turned away.
âBrother Shao, go pack up the things in the room,â Han Zichuanâs eyes reflected warmth as they turned to me.
âOkayâŠâAll reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
Fang Hua didnât speak to stop me, or object to the familiarity in Han Zichuanâs actions. On a typical day, even if a half-dead person was lying outside the bamboo forest yelling for help, heâd still be too lazy to save them. So why was he getting involved now?
Could it be because the person asking him wasâŠHan Zichuan?
The room was very quiet and spacious. But now that both of them were standing, the space suddenly became narrow, and I felt like a unnecessary additionâŠÂ There was a piece of my heart that felt as if it was being pulled taut, making it hard to breathe.
I couldnât say what kind of sensation this was. Besides being uncomfortable, I also felt a bitter sort of pain that was hard to describe. I turned around and inhaled deeply, my hands clenched into fists.
I should. Start packing.All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
I didnât know how long this trip to the palace would take. Iâd have to pack my two sets of robes (the ones I took turns washing), and yifuâs usual collection of wonder pills, andâŠ
My gaze swept the corners of the room.
Yifu didnât eat mortal food, so I should prepare something fresh for him on the road like picking something that was juicy and sweetâŠ
âShaoâer.â Fang Hua took my sleeve and held me in place, speaking softly. âItâs Zichuan and IÂ that are going to the palace, do you understand?â
Theyâre not taking meâŠ?
I trembled, turning around to look at Han Zichuan.
âWhy leave her alone in the house?â Han Zichuan seemed to be very surprised. His eyes blinked, and he gave an uncertain glance in Fang Huaâs direction. The two of them stared at each other for a while before he tacitly complied. Nothing more was said on the matter.
âIâll go put things in order so you prepare the carriage, and weâll leave in a bit.â Fang Hua finished, before closing the door and leaving. A splash of sunlight illuminate his form outside the rooms, making his figure hazy and indistinct.
There was something in my heartâŠ
âŠslowing sinking towards the bottom.
âBrother Shao.â A pair of hands lightly rested on my shoulders. Han Zichuan drew closer and smiled. âThis is just how Fang Hua is. When he decides on something, nothing can change his mind.â
âBut you somehow convinced him to go to the palace to cure your father, didnât you?â
His smile grew gloomy, but he didnât reply, only saying in a soft tone, âIâll come visit you often.â
What a jokeâŠ
Whether or not you visit has nothing to do with me.
The only person I want is yifu.
I pushed him aside and rushed out, leaving him standing in place. I didnât linger to see his expression, because if I didâŠeverything might have had a different result.
I held back the anger in my heart and returned to my room. I turned the wardrobe upside down to collect an armful of clothing, and went to look for Fang Hua, room by room.
He was standing by the window in the study, lost in thought. A cloth covered the low table, and on it were two very plain sets of robes. He didnât see to care much when he saw me, but only started packing away the books in his arms.
âYifu, allow me to do these.âAll reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
âI wonât trouble you.â His refusal was clean and final.
My emotions left me unable to utter a word, and I stood on one side, at a loss. I sadly went to his side and sprawled on the table, indignantly watching as he stuffed bottles and jars into the bagâŠthose long, slender fingers lovingly caressing each one.
A few of the objects inside were his favorites, but there was nothing that belonged to meâŠ
I pulled out a book, meaning to throw it away, but held myself back. I glanced at him. While he wasnât paying attention, I took the chance to stuff one of my robes into his bundle.
âWhy are you bothering to do thisâŠ?â he sighed. His eyes raised to look at me, chilly as moonlight like always. His hands pressed down against mine and he grabbed the robes, mercilessly hauling it back out.
âYifuâŠâ All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
I stubbornly grabbed the robes, as if my only hope laid in snatching it back. Although Fang Hua never said it, I knew he held tender affections for me. After living together for so many years, we were used to each otherâs presence.
But why didnât he want me now?
He was going to accompany Han Zichuan to the palaceâŠ
He was going to leave me all alone in this house.
Did he really not need me anymore?
There were countless things I still hadnât thought over throughly, but I still had no self-confidence. He slowly tugged away the robes I was trying to hold in place. My heart ached with a burning pain.
Under his continued scrutiny, I grew more and more unsure of myself. A person had no energy to rebel against that firm gaze. His inflexibility quelled any attempts to stuff in my things. The robes were taken out, and the traveling bag secured. Throughout it all, he remained calm and expressionless. Even his eyes betrayed no emotions.
Iâd long abandoned the idea of figuring everything out. I only felt that he was leaving me in very sore straits.
âYifuâŠâ I clutched at Fang Huaâs arm, my head bowed. âI just want to ask you one thing.â
âSpeak.âAll reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
âHave you already decided to abandon Shaoâer?â
He remained silent, not speaking a word. My grip loosened, and I released his sleeves.
âShaoâer understands.â At this moment, my heart started aching again. It felt as if something was caught in my chest, as if just speaking would make my cry.
âShaoâer, noâŠyou donât understand.â
He gave me a concentrated look, eyes flooded with a soft light. âYouâve grown up now. You canât always be like a child and follow your yifu around. Your internal energy isnât bad, and you have a good grasp of poisons.â He slowly scooped up my hands, patting them a few times.
Those eyebrows rose with his smile as he tried to soothe me. âYouâve always listened to what I said. Yifu hopes that after you leave me, youâll make a good name for yourself living in the jianghu[1].â
Muttering to himself, his eyes slowly looked over me. âThe jianghu is free and unfettered, leisurely and carefree. Itâs much more fun than the imperial palace.â
He stood before me now, nothing like the him of the past, speaking to me in such an earnest, fatherly, tone.
Heâs my yifuâŠmy foster father.
After all these years, Iâd grown up. But he still looked as same as the day he picked me up from the rundown temple. The Heavens looked favorably upon him, and the passing years did nothing to leave a mark on his faceâŠ
Standing together now, we looked about the same age.
And yet, his heart was as hard as ever.
He said the jianghu was better than the palace, but heâbut he knewâexactly how I felt.
The jianghu of a single person isnât a jianghu at all.
Stricken, I stood dazed for a while.
âItâs settled. Iâll cure Han Zichuanâs fatherâs illness and then return here,â he smiled gently at me.
âShaoâerâŠwillâŠâ I turned my head away, half-facing him. My sentence came word by word. ââŠwait here for you.â
A gust of wind blew in from the window. He kept his smile. The dark red mole beneath his eye resembled a teardrop.
Osmanthus drifted in on the breeze to rest against his shoulder, carrying with it a sweet-smelling fragrance. I started to raise my hand and brush it off, but he moved away from me. Awkwardly, my hand withdrew, and I lowered my eyes in disappointment.
I kept feeling that after he entered the palace, he might not come backâŠ
-o-All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.
[1] jianghu (æ±æč) ïŒârivers and lakesââbut thatâs the literal definition. Of course weâre talking about the wide, wide world and all corners of the country, especially the *cough* lawless areas that heroes travel to in wuxia/xianxia series. Battles! Treasure! Adventure! Beautiful woâwell, beautiful men for Shaoâer, I guess~