Chapter 6

Editor: mako

This was when I was sixteen years old.

At that time, the afternoon spring breeze was warm as it lightly blew across the corridor.  A long branch full of white flowers was dangling above his shoulder, and I couldn’t help but move closer to him while saying, “Lu QingFan, do you know that I like you?”

As quick as thunder, he pushed me away.

He said, “You shouldn’t play such a trick on me.”

I was stunned. “It’s true that I really like you.”

He looked at me coldly and stepped back. “Pei JiYu, do you know what you’re talking about?”

Unwilling to give up, I forced myself to take a step forward and looked steadily at him. “Is it because I’m a man?”

He pursed his mouth as his back was drawn taut. His face was full of mockery.

“Young Master, I’m just a dog raised by the Pei family,” he said, ridiculing himself.

Not long after that, Lu QingFan got together with Liang BaiWei, the daughter of the Liang family.

An ideal couple that enhanced each other’s radiance while standing together, they were a perfect match, making me feel ashamed of my own unworthiness.

At that time, I was young and thought that liking or not liking someone was as simple as that; my view of love and hate was clearcut. Because of him, I grieved for a long time and had even lost all my stubborn baby fat.

On the day when my father held a banquet, I accidentally saw him and a woman kissing on the second-floor corridor.

With my mind completely blanked out, I hid in the shadows dumbly until the woman went downstairs alone.

Leaning his back against the wall, he pulled out a cigarette to light it.

“Pei JiYu, why are you still not coming out?” It turned out that he had already discovered my presence.

With the light smoke shrouding his face, I was unable to see him clearly.

I walked up to him and asked incredulously, “Isn’t that woman just now a good friend of BaiWei?”

Through the smoke, he looked at me coldly while not saying a word.

“Don’t you like BaiWei? How can you treat her like this?” I was furious.

Lu QingFan actually laughed. He looked at me with a complicated expression that was sad yet happy at the same time. “JiYu, you are really naive. She felt lonely while I needed power, so we’re just using each other. After all, I won’t always be the Pei’s family dog. Do you really think that Liang BaiWei loves me?”

I was so shocked that I couldn’t speak. It felt as if my world was falling apart.

“There comes a time when one has to leave behind their innocence,” he held my face firmly in his hand. “So JiYu, you shouldn’t dream again.”

Lu QingFan chuckled lightly, lowered his head, and kissed my lips.

Between his lips, there were still traces of others.

I wanted to tell him, “Lu QingFan, I truly like you.”

But the sixteen-year-old me didn’t move at all.

Soon after, I arrived in England alone to study.

I couldn’t face Lu QingFan any more. I couldn’t forgive him.

He had mercilessly smashed my world and presented the dirty and ugly parts of it right in front of me. He also told me clearly that the person I loved was a despicable man who would sacrifice himself for power. He had wanted me to quickly wake up from my dream.

With a look of pity, he had said to me, “ JiYu, you shouldn’t dream again.”

Long after that, I would meet people who were even more hateful. I’ll forgive them, but I won’t forgive Lu QingFan.

Even if one day, Pei JiYu stopped being able to love, he would still hate Lu QuingFan.

Because he was the first person to let me down.

Like this, I curled up on the floor and fell asleep. It was fortunate that there was adequate heating, so I didn’t slip into eternal slumber.

However, when I woke up, I saw He Li sitting at the bedside.

I couldn’t help but rub my eyes. He Li hasn’t been in this apartment for nearly two months, choosing instead to bask in the presence of those who were better looking. Naturally, I had also distanced myself from this old love, so as not to hinder his view of the beautiful scenery in front of him.

It was unexpected that he would come back to find me.

With my shirt as wrinkled as pickles, I got up in a hurry.

“How come you have time to come here?” As I saw him, I felt slightly awkward.

He Li didn’t even lift his head. He opened the recently packed suitcase on my bed and rummaged through the pile of clothing inside.

I had planned to leave today and didn’t expect that I would meet him. Might as well, since I wouldn’t have to approach him anymore and get misunderstood.

“Why are you packing up? Are you going to travel abroad?” he asked carelessly while rummaging.

His voice sounded neutral. The meaning behind his words might not be clear, but at least he wasn’t angry.

I heaved a sigh of relief. I had initially feared that he would get angry and wouldn’t let me leave.

I laughed at myself in my heart. Pei JiYu, you think too highly of yourself; he didn’t even care about you.

I shook my head. “It’s not a vacation trip. I’m leaving.”

He stopped rummaging and slowly looked up at me. The corners of his mouth carried traces of a smile. “What did you say? Can you repeat that again?”

I thought he didn’t understand, so I repeated myself. “He Li, I want to break up with you and leave.”

My words couldn’t be any clearer.

The smile on He Li’s face slowly faded, and he abruptly hurled the suitcase to the floor. The noise made was so loud that I took a step backward.

“You want to break up with me?” He Li sneered. “Pei JiYu, what qualifications do you have to say that you want to break up with me?”

I was frightened by his reaction and kept silent.

I had used the wrong word. After all, Pei JiYu was merely a random pet raised by He Li, so how could I be qualified to use the words “break up”.

After a while, I whispered, “Please let me go.”

I didn’t want to complicate matters further, as I didn’t have any more time to entangle myself in this love-hate relationship.

He Li glared at me with a look like he wanted to kill and eat me. However, after a moment, he laughed again.

“Oh, JiYu, you’re employing petty tricks again.” He laughed contemptuously. “Do you think that by doing so, I will leave Lin Ming and come back to you?”

He came over, reached out a hand, and stroked my cheek. He then said to me in a low and gentle voice, “JiYu, you are still too greedy.”

As his fingers slowly entangled into my hair, he lowered his head slightly and moved his face closer to me. “Huh, do you really like me that much?”

The emotions in He Li’s eyes were so deep that a person could wallow in it, but at this moment, it was like Medusa’s stare, turning my heart piece by piece into dust gravel.

Pei JiYu, how naive must you be to think that this person loved you?

He Li placed his lips close to my ears and said ambiguously with a hint of danger, “Don’t ever mention about this matter again in the future. If you dare to leave me, I will kill you.”

His words weren’t just a threat. He will do whatever he says.

However, I would still leave him eventually.

If you ask Pei JiYu what he was most not afraid of, his answer would be death.

How could anyone be stupid enough to threaten a dying man with death? I laughed in my heart, and suddenly felt very sorrowful. For He Li to be unaware that I was going to die, he must have stopped caring about what’s been going on in my life since quite early on.

How could I not leave?

Shortly after He Li left, I got up from the bed, picked up my clothes, and put them on.

Without sparing a single glance to the suitcase that was swept to the ground, I simply walked out the door.

Initially, I had intended to leave He Li a note to tell him that I really left and it wasn’t a trick. However, when I picked up the pen, I wasn’t able to write a single word.

It turned out that I had nothing to say to him since a long time ago.