Chapter 76

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Feng Xuan didn’t want them to get chilled by the air conditioning, so once they got to the exam location, they usually turned off the car engine and rolled down the windows a bit. Jiang Yuman watched her son relaxedly chat and laugh with Feng Fei, even teasing him sometimes. Hai Xiu would secretly stick a flower he found from who-knows-where into Feng Fei’s hair, and purposefully move aside at the last second when Feng Fei wanted to lean on him, then giggle and let him use his legs as a pillow after Feng Fei pinched his ears in feigned anger, gently massaging his face.

Looking at the mischievous look Hai Xiu directed at Feng Fei, Jiang Yuman was in disbelief. She couldn’t believe her son could look so carefree. PiGDS

It had been a long time since Hai Xiu had made such a face towards her.

But when facing Feng Fei, Hai Xiu obviously didn’t have as many reservations. The kind of trust and attachment he displayed–which looked so genuine–made Jiang Yuman feel incredibly guilty.

On the other hand, towards Feng Fei, even though Jiang Yuman felt complicated towards him, she had to admit that he treated Hai Xiu very well.

Before each test, Feng Fei would shoo his older brother out of the car, drag Hai Xiu over to whisper into his ears, make him laugh, and let him relax. The attentiveness in Feng Fei’s eyes towards Hai Xiu was clear to see. He would—with extreme diligence—check Hai Xiu’s pulse, and repeatedly touch Hai Xiu’s forehead to check whether he had a fever. 8Kmkiv

It was raining this morning, but because the temperature was still sweltering, the air felt incredibly stuffy. Jiang Yuman watched Feng Fei get out of the car with an umbrella, navigate his way amongst the crowd of candidates, and go to a nearby small supermarket to buy a frozen bottle of water for Hai Xiu.

It was still drizzling when Feng Fei got out of the car, and Jiang Yuman saw that his lower half and arms had been soaked from the rain. After Feng Fei bought the water, he ran back to the car and reached inside to grab a towel, wrapping it around the bottle and putting it on Hai Xiu’s face, laughingly asking him if it was cooling him down.

Jiang Yuman looked at Feng Fei’s soaked appearance from a distance, feeling conflicted.

If Feng Fei hadn’t been sincere in his pursuit, how could Hai Xiu have fallen for him? Mk6q8F

The effects of her son’s mental illness had on him, Jiang Yuman knew best.

The last day of the exam had arrived. Jiang Yuman watched Feng Fei help Hai Xiu out of the car whilst holding an umbrella, while Hai Xiu held their exam materials. The two of them disappeared into the building.

After watching the two of them for two days, Jiang Yuman had already come to terms with the situation.

After thinking it over for two days, Jiang Yuman became more and more uncertain about what she should do. 1Lh6Fz

To be honest, Jiang Yuman would prefer that her son not date a guy. Although she had heard of such things before, and didn’t discriminate against such minorities, once the issue landed on her own shoulders, she still felt a bit reluctant. In regards to her own son, Jiang Yuman still hoped that he could do well in school, graduate, find a proper girl, get married, and start a family like a normal person.

She couldn’t accept the matter in her heart, but if someone were to let Jiang Yuman talk to Hai Xiu frankly and openly, and tell him to break up with Feng Fei…she wouldn’t be able do it.

Not to mention anything else, Hai Xiu’s illness was a liability. Hai Xiu’s condition was finally getting better this year, and Jiang Yuman didn’t dare to gamble with her own son’s mental condition.

Jiang Yuman was smart enough to be able to weigh out the risks and rewards of her actions. ad7ctR

In the last two hour test—which was neither long nor short—Jiang Yuman imagined countless scenarios, and rejected all of them one by one.

Just a few hours ago, she had watched behind the car window as Feng Fei smiled and asked for a kiss from Hai Xiu, who had kissed Feng Fei shyly in acquiescence, with eyes full of happiness and contentment.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

The bell signaling the end of the exam rang, and Jiang Yuman sighed exhaustedly, deciding to pretend for the time being that she hadn’t noticed anything…she couldn’t bear to break Hai Xiu’s heart.

Feng Xuan’s car drove past her slowly. Feng Xuan rolled down the window and made eye contact with Jiang Yuman, who promptly put on her sunglasses and looked down at her phone, sweating.  awzCuN

Feng Xuan got out of the car and looked at Jiang Yuman’s car. His brows were slightly twisted…He had already noticed this car since yesterday. It looked like it was coming to pick up their child, but it had been two days, and although they came on time every morning, nobody ever got out of the car nor picked up anyone. The car just sat there from beginning to end, and always parked not too far away from his own car, the distance between them never changing.

Feng Xuan lit a cigarette and walked towards Jiang Yuman’s car while taking a drag. When he was about to reach the driver side’s door, the examination room gates opened and the students flocked out. Feng Xuan glanced at Jiang Yuman’s car, and turned back—Feng Xuan observing Jiang Yuman and vice versa.

As early as the first morning, Jiang Yuman realized that Feng Fei’s family, or at least his elder brother, knew about the relationship between Feng Fei and Hai Xiu.

And Hai Xiu knew this too. mShdH0

Jiang Yuman felt mentally exhausted. Her position on the two’s relationship was extremely passive, while on the Feng family’s side, they were already living in harmony.

Jiang Yuman smiled bitterly and comforted herself–at least from this she could see just how serious Feng Fei was about Hai Xiu.

The rain had stopped by now, so Jiang Yuman took her handbag and got out of the car, then walked to the gates to wait for Hai Xiu.

After a while, Feng Fei and Hai Xiu came out. Jiang Yuman took a deep breath, waved to them, and smiled. Fwd6LG

“Over here! Are you guys tired?”

Hai Xiu saw Jiang Yuman hurriedly walking over. After finally finishing the exam, Hai Xiu’s eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed slightly, and his tone excited.

“Zbw! P-P uba iemxs atlr alwf bc atf Scuilrt mbwqbrlalbc fzjw qgbwqa. Mfcu Mfl jcv P tjnf kglaafc la wjcs alwfr, jcv atfgf rtbeivc’a yf jcs qgbyifw klat atf ugjwwjg. Pa’r remt j mblcmlvfcmf….”

Mfcu Mfl rwlifv jcv fzqijlcfv ab Aljcu Tewjc. RLF8hA

“Ljl Wle obecv j vbhfc frrjs qgbwqar yfobgf atf fzjw jcv wjvf wf kglaf atfw klat tlw bcf ys bcf, jcv mbggfmafv ws wlrajxfr…P vlvc’a fzqfma la ab rtbk eq bc atf fzjw.”

Jiang Yuman smiled and rubbed Hai Xiu’s head, and said softly, 

“You’re done with the exam, so just relax and stop thinking about it. What do you want to eat for dinner?”

“Can we go back to school first?” Hai Xiu explained, “Teach Lao said before that we can go back after the exam to get some college application guidebooks, and then take all our workbooks from the classroom, since someone will be coming to clear out the classroom tomorrow.” 7Kd0sp

Jiang Yuman nodded. 

“That’s fine, it’s still early in the day anyways. Go back to your school first, don’t be late for dinner…Do you feel hot? Your face is so red….”

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Feng Fei’s phone buzzed and vibrated a few times; someone had sent him a few messages. He looked down, then raised his head abruptly and looked at Feng Xuan who was waiting for them not far away.

Feng Xuan solemnly nodded towards Feng Fei, who looked at Jiang Yuman as countless thoughts flashed in his mind, then smiled.  qdEVtn

“There aren’t many things left in the school anyways. My brother can just mail us those workbooks.”

Jiang Yuman smiled reluctantly as she looked at Feng Fei in a complicated mood. 

“It’s no trouble, we’d need a few sacks to hold all of Hai Xiu’s workbooks and materials. I also promised my friends a long time ago that I’d lend Hai Xiu’s workbooks for their children to use. I can’t throw them away, so I’ll just send Hai Xiu to go get them.”

“It’s just that your face is looking a little pale. Are you feeling okay?” Feng Fei said in a sincere and worried tone, “How long have you been waiting here? Are you getting a heat stroke?” aTOeig

Jiang Yuman didn’t look in the mirror when she got out of the car, so she didn’t know how she looked. She touched her cheek and smiled. “No…I’m probably just a little tired, but I feel fine.”

When Feng Fei asked this question, Jiang Yuman almost thought she’d been found out. The expression she had disguised with a good one instantly became more twisted. Hai Xiu also noticed that Jiang Yuman’s expression was a bit wrong, and asked anxiously, 

“Were you waiting for a long time? Do you think you might be having a heat stroke? Do you feel like you want to vomit?”

Jiang Yuman smiled helplessly at Hai Xiu.  nJi2xR

“It’s not that bad. Maybe I’m a little tired…Okay, let’s get in the car and go get your stuff quickly; we don’t want to be late for dinner.”

Feng Fei inconspicuously pulled Hai Xiu behind him, and frowned. 

“I’m a little worried about you driving in your condition. It’s still raining right now. What if you get into a car accident?”

Feng Fei turned his head to look at Hai Xiu. “You go to my brother’s car–I’ll help drive for your mother.” va SQ0

Jiang Yuman hurriedly refused. 

“No, no, no, you…”

“If it weren’t that fact that it’s inconvenient right now, I would’ve even liked to find a place for you to rest first.” Feng Fei looked at Jiang Yuman with concern. “Where is the car? You lead me over. Hai Xiu, go to my car. There must be a traffic jam at our school right now, so let’s not take that road anymore. My eldest brother may not know how to get around in traffic, so make sure to tell him.”

Feng Fei’s arrangements were very reasonable. Hai Xiu didn’t doubt his intentions at all, nodded, and told Jiang Yuman,  coIDi4

“If you feel uncomfortable, tell Feng Fei to stop immediately. If you still feel uncomfortable, you should go to the hospital first.”

Feng Fei rubbed Hai Xiu’s head, thinking internally,

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Your mother is suffering from a problem in her heart–it’s useless to go to the hospital.

At Feng Fei’s insistence, Hai Xiu got into Feng Xuan’s car, and Feng Fei went to go be a driver for Jiang Yuman. 4P1qhd

Jiang Yuman didn’t know that Feng Xuan had already told Feng Fei by text message that she had been surveilling Feng Xuan’s car for two days. She only thought that Feng Fei was really worried about her. After getting in the car, she said with gratitude, 

“You’re very kind. “

“Anyone would have done the same.” Feng Fei reversed out of the parking spot and followed Feng Xuan’s car, smiling. “It’s common sense to take care of young ladies.”

Jiang Yuman smiled and looked out the window for a long while without responding. CQL0ve

The rain started again, and a layer of fog accumulated in the car windows. Feng Fei handed two tissues to Jiang Yuman. “Can you help me wipe the car windows on your side? I can’t see the rear car on the right.”

Jiang Yuman returned to her senses and nodded hurriedly, wiping the car window. Feng Fei smiled. 

“I remember you drove a different car, right?”

Jiang Yuman nodded.  iSOY9L

“I sent it for maintenance, so I had to borrow someone else’s.”

Feng Fei nodded. While waiting at a red light, he saw some students crying and laughing in front of the examination center while throwing their textbooks in the rain, and said lightly, 

“How naive.”

Jiang Yuman looked at Feng Fei and smiled. “You seem to be much more mature than your peers.” cFMpY5

Feng Fei shook his head and smiled. 

“Not by much.”

Jiang Yuman asked, “That’s your elder brother in the car? I didn’t have time to say hello just now…I heard Hai Xiu say that when you were young, your elder brother took care of you a lot.”

“Yeah. When I was in kindergarten, my parents’ business started to expand, and there was no time to go back home, so they let my brother take care of me.” Feng Fei smiled. “My brother has a bad temper. When I was younger, I suffered many beatings from him whenever I misbehaved.” EihtD4

Jiang Yuman smiled. 

“He doesn’t look much older than you. It must not have been easy. Hai Xiu himself…didn’t have a good father to set him an example.”

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Feng Fei raised his eyebrows. “But he’s grown up better than most.”

Jiang Yuman’s eyes were sad.  xDdKAL

“There’s still some influence…I have seen some papers that say that if there is no good father figure in the environment where a boy grows up, it is easy for him, for him….”

“To become gay?” Feng Fei drove around an intersection as he responded in a calm tone.

The air in the car instantly solidified.

Jiang Yuman was quiet for a moment, then said,  UHJ2yE

“You didn’t let Hai Xiu get in the car just now because you were afraid that I would say something to him?”

Feng Fei acknowledged it with ease. 

“The college entrance examination is over. Without it’s protective cover, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.”

Jiang Yuman looked at Feng Fei and said,  tFuw1k

“So you decided to puncture this layer of window paper for me first?” (TN – think of the paper that traditional japanese walls are made of)

Feng Fei said calmly,

“Rather than knowing that one random day in the future I will be exposed, it’s better for me to say it first…At least Hai Xiu isn’t here right now.”

The corner of Jiang Yuman’s lips started to turn down, saying,  CjO0KJ

“You…also know that he can’t stand the social pressure. Then, when you are discovered by others, the gossip….

“Hai Xiu only cares about the opinions of the people he cares about, and I am the same.” 

There was another red light, and Feng Fei stopped the car. He took the schoolbag in the back seat and paused, and said in a low voice, “Auntie, my feelings for Hai Xiu are sincere…Hai Xiu has suffered a lot before, and I don’t want that for him any longer. I want him to be happy from now on.”

Feng Fei looked at Jiang Yuman, expression solemn.  UoFJCH

“He has been in school for all these years, and he hasn’t had a good time at all. For every three times that other people suffered, Hai Xiu would suffer seven times….” 

Jiang Yuman turned her head, eyes watering instantly at the thought.

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“But even if it was like that, he has never complained, and he is still nice to everyone….” Feng Fei took a deep breath, remembering that when they first met a year ago, Hai Xiu had charged into the office to defend him when he thought that Ni Meilin had misunderstood him.

Feng Fei’s eyes were slightly red, and he said in a hoarse voice, “He shouldn’t have complained to you, right? But just because he doesn’t say anything…doesn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt.” QsdvxW

Jiang Yuman tried her best not to cry.

As the light changed, Feng Fei started the car and said, “Hai Xiu has suffered enough. Today is the last day of his high school years. When he gets his diploma and leaves his educational experience, all the bad things in the past will be left in the confines of the schoolhouse gate. From now on…I don’t want him to suffer anymore. Can’t you accept our relationship?”

Jiang Yuman wiped her tears, took a moment to relax, and tried her best to make her tone harder, and asked, “How can you guarantee that he won’t suffer anymore? And you don’t even know that actually, he….”

——————————————————————————————— GO5MtX

MEDICINE SCENE STARTTTTT ))))):

———————————————————————————————–

Feng Fei handed his schoolbag to Jiang Yuman, and said, “I was going to show it to Hai Xiu tonight, but i’ll show it to you in advance….”

Jiang Yuman frowned. She opened Feng Fei’s schoolbag, which was filled with medicine bottles of various sizes. Cl3cZD

Jiang Yuman lost her voice. 

“This is….”

“This is the medicine Hai Xiu needs to take because of his mental illness.” Feng Fei grit his teeth, saying, “What happened to him when he was in junior high school, and the mental illness he later got as a result of that, I’ve known for a long time. When I had just met him at the time, he didn’t dare to go to school without these things…All of his ‘problems’, I knew about them before I started my relationship with him, and I am still happy to be with him.”

Feng Fei explained how he gradually changed Hai Xiu’s medicine in a few words, saying, “I can help him re-integrate with the world and shake off his social anxiety, so I can definitely stop him from suffering anymore.” orB5Ve

Feng Fei promised loudly. “As long as I am here, Hai Xiu will not suffer anymore, and I will help solve any of his problems.”

—————————————————————————–

MEDICINE SCENE KINDA(??) ENDS, END OF THE CHAPTER STILL REFERENCES

—————————————————————————— ik2ymM

Jiang Yuman’s tears slid down her face. 

Feng Fei’s every word slammed into the softest part of her heart.

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Jiang Yuman nodded. 

“Okay….” 1XE6ca

“As long as I am here, Hai Xiu won’t suffer anymore, and I will help solve any of his problems.”

In the other car, Feng Fei’s voice echoed through Feng Xuan’s mobile phone, with every word striking Hai Xiu’s heart.

Feng Fei had actually called Feng Xuan before getting in the car. After Feng Xuan connected the call, he found that Feng Fei hadn’t spoken for a while, and immediately understood what Feng Fei wanted to do, putting his phone on speaker. Every word that Feng Fei and Jiang Yuman said, both he and Hai Xiu heard clearly.

Fearing that Jiang Yuman would hear his own voice, Hai Xiu gritted his teeth and choked with emotion, tears streaming from his eyes. VWhv0x

He was scared of being rejected and concealed his illness for over a year…but it turns out he had already been discovered by Feng Fei a long time ago.

Feng Fei didn’t think he was repulsive, or disgusting.

He’d even been trying to help him with his mental illness.

And it turned out that he had already walked out of the shadow of that experience in the past. 7 el1N

On Feng Xuan’s phone, Jiang Yuman’s barely audible “Okay” came out, and Hai Xiu collapsed and cried like he had been pardoned from execution.

Feng Xuan’s and Jiang Yuman’s cars stopped one after another outside the school.

Outside the car window, the rain had stopped without them noticing.

The sky above the school was clear blue and cloudless. sHPxgG

uuuuuuuuu medicine ))))):

Actually, the line He’d even been trying to help him with his mental illness, was originally something like Feng Fei even helped treat his illness and get rid of those drugs that are extremely harmful to the body.

Now obviously, everyone will have slightly different reactions to medication, but as far as I know, anxiety medication isn’t ‘extremely harmful to the body’.

I took some creative license and changed it to it’s way more subtle version you see above, but it’s been recommended to me that I just leave it as is, since that’s truly what the author wrote and wanted to say, no matter how wrong we know they are about the subject. z tyHZ

I think the medicine scenes will die down in the future since it’s all out in the open now, but i’d still like to know what readers think about the matter. I probably won’t keep putting translator notes about how bad it is though, since it gets a little repetitive, and i’ll just be fighting a straw man.

Chrysanthemum Garden.\n