Chapter 58

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

“Eh?” Lafarre blinked quickly in confusion, pausing, “You…what?” 

I moved my lips but no words came out, and I could only stiffly shake my head, exhaling out a long breath. He didn’t know the situation between Agares and me. That’s why he obviously couldn’t understand what I had just said.  YIKZVG

Besides, it would have been quite a leap in logic to be able to make a connection between all these situations. Because in the period when Professor Vinogreider was young, my grandfather was only in his twenties, which obviously meant I wasn’t born yet. He made a promise to Agares, the leader of a mythical species; a promise that he didn’t know if he could fulfill—by using his grandson who didn’t exist at the time as a ‘paycheck’ to hand over. Damn it, just thinking it out loud sounds ridiculous! 

Only I would believe that this was the reason for Agares’s unexpected invasion into my wheel of fate, yet despite that, I didn’t want to believe my theory. Not one bit. My guess was that my grandfather had gone crazy in the head, if not, he must have impulsively disregarded the consequences when he made that promise. He definitely didn’t think about how much it would affect my future self, but I couldn’t bring myself to blame a relative who had already passed—because I could still clearly remember how much he had doted on me when I was young. 

He often brought me fishing, rafting and camping, letting me spend a carefree childhood by the coastal shores. Even now, when I look towards the sea, I could still recall his bright and cheery laughter and his gentle palm caressing me. These moments were already engraved into the deepest parts of my mind, something that I would never, ever forget. He was like a father figure to me.  

I didn’t believe that these actions were because he wanted to honour the promise he made, but now that I’m recalling it carefully, some of his actions were indeed strange. Often, he would set off fireworks towards the boundless, vast sea, or he would stop by the bow of the ship and blow his cornett horn, like he was calling out, responding to something. Was he thinking of presenting me to Agares? 

Chrysanthemum Garden.

My face showed a painful expression, projecting the conflicting thoughts in my heart. Rhine raised his eyes to look at me, like he felt a little confused. His alcohol-like breath kept hitting me in the face, hugging my waist so tightly that it felt like it was gonna break any moment. His crotch seemed to be burning hot as it stuck onto me, the thing in his pants was already raised but thankfully, it seemed that he still had some rationality left.  

“That’s right, I only found out recently, Rhine.” I shut my eyes, “I’m a compensation item because my family had some sort of dispute with the merfolk. Perhaps Sakarol didn’t inform you, but she must have known. The things that you saw me do from the surveillance camera was because I was enticed. There’s something on the beast that…” I swallowed, feeling that my throat had become a little sore and dry, as if I was trying to say something that went against my heart, making it very difficult, “I was bewitched.”  QmwNUS

My heart tightened, akin to a small beast curling up tightly to protect itself, however I could only continue because I knew that I could use this and gain Rhine’s pity so he wouldn’t eat me whole right now. I was so stupid that I pay attention to how close of a proximity the security camera was supervising on Agares. I also didn’t think that Rhine would have such a strong desire to conquer me.  

“If you… truly like me a little… then….” As I squeezed out these few words, I felt a little sick but I held on. 

To say that Rhine’s feelings towards me was was represented as ‘liking’ then this would be the most extreme and frightening show of ‘like’ in the world, because I could still clearly remember how he pushed me off the boat, throwing me down into the straits full of merfolk, like he was throwing away an obstacle that prevented them from moving forward. However, once he found out I was alive, he became crazy from wanting something he couldn’t have, like Nazis who were chasing an unattainable dream, becoming ballistic and perverted. 

My impression of that charming and easy-going mentor was just one of his many skins, while he was really a Nazi deep down in his bone, a terrorist through and through.  FDyfHv

“Stop tormenting me… Rhine, find a doctor for my friend and I’ll thank you for the rest of my life. Really, he’s going to die at any moment.”

I recalled Davis’s trembling eyelids and a hot rush of sadness flooded my nose, making my voice a little rough. 

“Thanking…” Rhine repeated my words, then gave a low laugh. His fingers dug into my hair, parting and combing my messy fringe before gently grasping them again, so that I had to look at him face to face, “I don’t want your thanks, Desharow. I only wish that you would give me a chance, since you said that you don’t feel anything towards that monster, you can accept me, right?”

“Only if you give me a reason to accept you. A doctor, Rhine.” I emphasized hoarsely, eyes red. His alcohol-ridden lips were practically on the tip of my nose, almost making me suffocate.  3sJeCq

“Let me get a taste of you first. I’ve already waited for far too long.” He shut his eyes and held my head like he was holding onto glass, his lips kissing my earlobes. I didn’t have the energy to feel disgusted because the weight of his head on me intensified the pain that I was already feeling having my arms being suspended. My arms felt like they were going to dislocate at any moment because I could hear my bones giving out a creaking sound.

He sighed softly into my ear, “Why were you born Russian? It would have been so much better if you were German. Desharow, in this filthy, complex battlefield where the sun never shines, you’re the purest existence that I have ever met…”

He paused for a bit and caressed my back, “You don’t know but the first time you accompanied me to the Canterbo Caves to investigate, your seriousness and bravery really fascinated me. I couldn’t believe that you had just jumped right in and then created a miracle. There were so many occasions where you amazed me and made my level of respect for you climb higher. I gradually understood that I had no control over you, even as your mentor. That there was no one else who could limit your drive and ambition. The way you chase your dream is something that Germans would really admire. What Sakarol said was correct, you are indeed a beautiful moth, people can’t help but want to hold on to you who is flying so high…”  

He took in a breath and gave another drunken laugh, “If not, you’ll fly away, fly so far away, where nobody in a lifetime could even catch up to you.” viOT6d

“You aren’t catching me…” My wrists were shaking in the handcuffs, the friction of the ice-cold metal stung unbearably. “You want to break my wings and turn me into a flightless insect, wiggling around helplessly in the palm of your hands, praying to have your mercy and love. You enjoy that feeling, don’t you? Rhine, that’s what you want to do to me. Don’t describe yourself… as someone so deeply full of love.”  

I turned my face away in contempt, my piercing eyes as sharp as a nail. “Come on, if you want to ruin me then bring it on, but you will never be able to see that moth you desperately want to catch, or… you can just try and let me have a reason to be grateful to you.”

Rhine was stumped for words, his eyes dark and gloomy like there was a layer of cobwebs clouding them, making it unclear. I could tell that his drunkenness was getting worse, that his brain was not fully awake and that his heart was swaying a little.

At this moment, I was thankful that his feelings towards me weren’t purely lust. If he was sober, he may not really do anything to me. He was unwilling to use pure strength to subdue me because it would just prove that he really couldn’t beat the hormones of a beast. Rhine was fundamentally a conqueror, wanting me to obey him through and through, to love and worship him, just that it was one hell of a foolish dream from the get go.  sI5OYa

“I’ll find a doctor for your friend and let him receive the best medical care… However, Desharow,” Rhine breathed roughly and heavily, his hand twisting and playing with my earlobes, “Answer me, once they are done with building the base, you have to come back with me to Germany, become a citizen and marry me. And from now on, you must never approach that merman ever again, can you do that?”  

“Marriage?” I was so shocked that my mouth was left hanging open. The Nazi persecution of homosexuality during World War II was appalling and this guy here could actually play such horrifying joke with me. Thank God that it isn’t the Second World War right now, if not he’ll have damned me to those scary concentration camps!  

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“Yes, marriage. We don’t restrict homosexuality like you Russians do. Although it’s currently still not made legal, but in the future…” He murmured, falling into his own excited imagination,“I can’t wait to make you my little groom, Desharow, you can’t go back to Russia anymore. I had entrusted someone to wipe out records of all your student registration and residential permits. You are no longer a Russian now. You are now someone with no nationality and would soon be slowly forgotten as years go by.

It felt like a heavy hammer had hit me on the head and stunned me stupid. My mind spun for half a day before I slowly comprehended this frightening truth. Rhine had stolen away my chance to continue studying at the university, he had destroyed my dream and erased my existence, uprooting me from Russia and turning me into a footless bird incapable of landing, so that I could be led by him like a kite.  x3X9Qg

“No… no, no! What did you do, why did you do something like that?! You mad dog, mad dog! I want to kill you!”

I hysterically kicked him over and over again, however, he was tightly holding onto my legs, restraining them and the excruciating pain in my arms made me unable to continue exerting any strength. The sound of the metal chains banging was like an explosion to my ears, making my head dizzy. I could hear Rhine asking me over and over again, ” Do you accept me, Desharow? I love you so much, it’s turning me insane!” 

“Get lost, you son of a bastard! You’re worse than dog shit, fucking lunatic!” I rained down curses on him, powerless, the calmness that I tried to maintain crumbled down in an instant. The second Rhine reached for my belt with trembling hands, I knew that I was done for. 

However, the moment he took off my pants, I suddenly heard a bunch of messy electrical crackles that made me shudder and held onto my breath. EVtSBA

“Rhine, calling for Rhine!” Sakarol’s voice rang from his pocket. Only God would know that this was the first time I felt relief at hearing that demon’s voice. “Bring Desharow over, this merman suddenly went mad for no reason. Stop the interrogation, I command you to bring Desharow over here this instant!” 

“Looks like your superior has stopped me from agreeing to your conditions for the time being.” 

My voice trembled

Thanks to Sakarol, I was able to get away from Rhine’s evil clutches. Just as I was being brought back to the bottom compartment again, I couldn’t help but feel like I had obtained amnesty. Both my legs were a little soft, like I was stepping on air and floating away to the sky. My mind was full of the memories of my warm home, my parent’s food, and the exciting and emotional years learning in the university, my beloved classmates and teachers, all those that would now turn into a dream, soon dispersing in the wind like dust.   tCaQPu

My soul seemed to have been drawn out from my body, my heart feeling empty, my body becoming as fragile as thin ice, hearing the crackling when you step on it. 

I was brought to Sakarol without saying anything. She indifferently swept over the bruises on my wrist and took out a key to unlock the shackles and nonchalantly said, “I saw that merman mutilating himself when I looked at the surveillance monitor just now. I have to trouble you to calm him down please, little Desharow. He’s also refusing to eat anything so you’ll have to feed him, too. We have to ensure that he keeps living.” 

After saying that, she handed me a bucket filled with sardines and gave me a fake smile. 

I took it without a word and went into the cabin. It was only after my line of sight followed the hatched door shut and my mind clearing up did the word Sakarol said clicked—Agares was harming himself. eO Sly

Once I saw Agares’s appearance, my hands started trembling and the bucket nearly fell to the ground. His wrists were no longer suspended on both sides of his head as before, but were lowered to the shoulders. The thick chains connected to the metal gears at the top were pulled off it’s rail by Agares and both of his wrists had extremely deep, white bruises that caved in. His flesh was protruding out and his blue blood was thickly clotted around his wrists that it looked like wristbands, piling by the shackles.  

“Desharow…” Agarese locked his eyes on me through his matted hair. His hand struggled to move, carrying the shackles with his movement,  “Come…I…”  He spoke out broken Russian syllables, seeming as though he was thinking hard to express something but didn’t know how to combine the words for it. 

I was hit with a sudden realisation. It was because he had heard the entire conversation between Rhine and me, that he thought of self-mutilating to struggle free and get out. This realisation made me stagger a step or two before throwing myself to embrace Agares’s body. My hands clutched his thick hair tightly, then I closed my eyes and buried my face into his neck, deeply inhaling his scent. 

  8y5zt2

TBC

notthepineapple: Just wanted to say a big congrats to Cheonsa for DM’s one year anniversary! And a big thank you to both Cheonsa and Jade for continuing to share Desharow’s adventure with us!

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