At first, his stare used to frighten me, but perhaps humans were truly adaptable creatures because I was no longer afraid of the hidden sharpness hiding behind his eyes, nor was I scared of his empty expression .
I was still taken aback by the face he would make . He was such a mysterious bastard . Are you an onion? Do you have layers? Behind each layer, he had a different side .
Every day, I was growing differently and he was too . Every day, I was catching different sides of him . Yes, maybe that was something obvious .
We were always stuck with each otherâs side now .
I thought he was a crazy asshole . Well, he was called a tyrant, so I just assumed he was equal or even worse than Prince Yeonsan-gun . The kind that could compete with Qin Shi Huang or even more ruthless .
The kind of tyrant who would be written down in history and deserved to get criticized through generations, but he was actually not that far gone yet .
Officially, Ferdel was in charge of all government matters, but all major decisions were made by Caitel, and he was in charge of Ferdelâs choices .
From what I heard, the former Emperor was even more f*cked up than Caitel . He literally had the famous âAlcohol Poolâ and âMeat Forestâ (é
ćą čć), he also created the âCannon Burning Punishmentâ on top of that . He was a son of a bitch, a human garbage . He was the kind of worthless trash who people couldnât even recycle, so when Caitel killed his own father, committing the sin of patricide, many people praised him . Of course, the nobles were an exception as they were appalled by his brutality .
Unexpectedly, he was exemplary at paperwork which he consistently did and took good care of all government matters . Well, it wasnât like he was without fault either . Caitel was really into wars . It was quite a serious problem, and he had a terrible character, there were multiple defects to his humanism .
However, it was said that he didnât touch his own people without a reason and didnât kill people unless they really went against him . Even when he declared war, he made sure not to push his soldiers too far . He watched the timing and circumstances of the war before waging them . In fact, he might actually be a good Emperor to his people .
To top it all off, he never lost a battle in his life . Hundreds of years ago, the legendary Darha, who never lost a battle, was the pride of his people .
Thatâs right . Like I said before, this guy actually did have a plethora of amazing quality than I gave him credit for . He was a reasonable psycho .
âŚBut I couldnât deny his craziness .
Before he told me to cry, now he wanted me to laugh . Ah, I really! I have something called pride you know! Did this man think would laugh just because he told me to do so?
How could I possibly laugh just because you ordered me?!
I did my best to maintain a neutral expression . I wouldnât laugh . I would not laugh no matter what . I must not laugh . I wouldnât laugh . I wouldnât laugh because I am strong!â
ââGiggle~giggle~ââ
Thatâs right . I donât have anything like pride . F*ck .
As I giggled loudly, deep inside me, I lamented my own destiny .
I was a ruin . I was done . My life was shit . I was an idiot for thinking for a moment that I found gold . I was stupid .
Not all people laugh this well, your royal highness father .
Caitelâs left hand gently touched my cheek and he smirked .
âAh, damn . Am I your toy?â
I was so irritated I turned my whole body away . I should seriously stop associating with him . I looked at my matching toys around me .
Rectangle . Triangle . This was a circle .
Where was the box with the matching holes?
I turned my head around, but I couldnât see the matching box for the toys .
This was creepy, like a ghost joke .
I turned my head towards Caitelâs voice, then I saw the missing box I was looking for in his hand .
Huh? What are you trying to do, Father?
Give it here . I flatly gave my hand out . Then I shook it to urge him faster .
He laughed as he looked at my hand hovering in the air . He didnât chuckle nonstop like a crazy person this time . It was just a normal laugh .
Ah, crazy asshole . I didnât want to deal with him . To think thatâs my dad . F*ck .
It had been a while since I felt a murderous intent towards God as I chewed my lips and I shook out my hands . Give it here! Why were you getting in the way when I finally decided to play this boring game?
His big hand grabbed my small hand . Then he took the remaining toy shapes I was holding on to .
Wow, this crazy-! What is this?!
âTake it if you can . â
What was he trying to do to me?!
What the- Was I the baby or were you the baby?! What did he just said? Take it if I could? Could I take your life? Could I? Did I need to learn how to handle a knife? Was there any way I could take his life?!â
I had no idea what I just said . I wanted to say hand it over .
Caitel acted like he was going to give it to me as he held out his hand . As soon as I tried to grab it, he pulled his hand back . Wow, damn . I was not a rough person who would just confront people head on, why was I cussing so much?
Ah . I didnât want to live anymore . Seriously .
Was I playing with him or was he playing with me?
I was pissed off to the max, so I glared at him .
I knew my liver must be swollen big, but as I said before, I knew now that he wouldnât kill me for now . That mean I could act out as long as I didnât cross his final line .
I just plopped my body down . Iâm going to sleep now!
Caitel looked like a crestfallen kid who had been busy having fun with his toy, but somebody took it away .
He looked disappointed as he let go of the toy shapes .
Then he quickly lifted my whole body . I found myself in the mercy of his embrace .
I blinked several times as I looked up at him . A slight smile appeared on his face .
Why are you holding me all of a sudden?
When I stayed still with a sh*tty-looking expression, he suddenly stood up .
He moved to the area with the window that almost covered the whole wall and went out on the connecting terrace .
The strong sunlight hurt my eyes . As I squinted under the strong sun, Caitel stepped back . Even with one step, there was a big difference in the amount of light .
Itâs a garden⌠A real garden .
I had practically lived in this room for almost two months, but I had never seen this area despite the fact that it was connected to the break room .
The window and terrace I saw for the first time in my life showed me a breathtaking scenery . To think that the white garden was this beautiful .
The holy tree called Winter Tree, with white leaves, shook gently . It was a wonderful sight .
To think he wanted to show me this sight! Was my father actually gentle? I turned my head to look at him, but even when we were looking at the same garden, Caitelâs expression felt off for some reason . Even on average, he wasnât normal, but right now, it seemed even more stagnant than usual .
Not only did his face fall, but there was a sliver of animosity in his eyes .
He seemed to have a different perception of the beautiful scenery laying bare in front of us .
âThis place is disgusting to the point that-â
His voice came out through clenched teeth .
ââŚsick and tired . â
His sight was on me, but his eyes were not the same eyes belonging to the Caitel I knew .
I was very curious about this unknown face that popped up randomly from time to time . Who are you, you crazy bastard? I knew he didnât have multiple personality disorder . Yet sometimes he acted like a completely different person making me wonder if he did .
Then at that moment, he kissed my forehead .
His voice was so soft as he whispered in my ear .
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