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I went out on Saturday because I had a drinking appointment with Won-jo.
I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to be alone in such a big house, so I left early, despite the fact that I had plenty of time before the appointment.
I went into the bar first and ordered something. I texted Won-jo, whose house was nearby, to come over quickly. I had nothing to do, so I went online.
There have been many incidents and accidents today. A celebrity was getting married, a politician was wandering the market, an entrepreneur was filing a patent lawsuit, and

There was an up-to-date article about a family car crashing down the river.
“
!!!”
I got chills on the back of my neck.
I shook my head, rubbed my eyes, and returned my gaze to the screen.
There were only rumors of celebrity dating.
However, the chill didn’t go away.
Damn it, I’m starting to see things again because I didn’t get enough sleep.
I moved my feet anxiously while pressing my temple hard, but my ankle became cold and I heard a sound.
I was taken aback and looked down at my feet.
It was black water.
The floor of the bar was filled with black and cold water.
“
 Haa”
My heart was racing. I took a look around before putting my feet up on the chair.
People didn’t seem to notice the cold water rising from their ankles to their calves.
Shit, I’m so sick of this.
It was the point at which I couldn’t take it any longer and got up from my seat.
Vibrate vibrate vibrate
I was surprised to hear the phone vibrate so loudly that my shoulders trembled.
A message was displayed on the screen.
Choi Sung-hoon [Have it]

?
What was this? What
 What do I have

After wondering about it for a while, I only realized after entering the chat window.
This wasn’t Choi Sung-hoon suddenly asking me for a meal, but rather a reply to the message [How do I return the bowl of the lunches?] that I sent in the morning.
I hesitated and sat down.
The river had disappeared.
The black and cold river always appears unexpectedly and then disappears.
Fucking black river!
If I wasn’t extra cautious, they would rush in to take and devour me.
It was difficult for me to calm my chaotic breathing. My hands and feet were less shaky.
The river grew and engulfed my waist. I’m not going to be able to get out of it for the rest of my life
 Until I walk into the river

Choi Sung-hoon [Dinner]
A message popped up in the conversation window I left on.
Choi Sung-hoon [When?]
What does this mean again
 I scrolled up and saw my message promising to buy him dinner at some time.
[Tell me when you have time^^]
Choi Sung-oon. [It will be today]
[I’m sorry TT I already have an appointment planned for today.]
Choi Sung Hoon. [Appointment? With your friends?]
[Yes, I have a drinking appointment]
Choi Sung Hoon. [Drinking?]
[I’m planning on getting drunk today, why?]
Choi Sung-hoon read it but didn’t respond. It reminded me of the other day when I was drunk and flirted with him.
[Haha, I’m good at drinking and I don’t have any drinking habits~~. What happened before was because I wasn’t feeling well at the time.]
As soon as I sent it, 1 disappeared, but again there was no reply.
I understand why he can’t believe it. Remembering that time makes me want to hide yet again.
Argh, I remembered it again. I really want someone to hit me in the head and give me amnesia.
Choi Seong-hoon [I will contact you later]
Choi Sung-hoon made me feel embarrassed again and escaped alone.
I sent a wink rabbit emoticon saying okay. There was no reply.
Phew

I’m feeling overwhelmed.
When the river appears, I get swept away and can’t do anything, but the brief conversation with Choi Sung-hoon didn’t make me think about the river.
But I can’t hope the same for the next time

I didn’t fall into the river because the timing was right.
The black and cold river was always coming for me, and all I could do was stand helplessly through it.
Vibrate vibrate vibrate
My phone rang again as I was deep in thought.
[My Hyung is so big, right?]
The sender was [Mapo Bridge High School Kid].
These two brothers
 were they making fun of me?
It was so ridiculous to look at the seven letters that made my worries about the river go away.
No, I wasn’t joking!  I was really serious. The trauma of the cold river

[My brother thing isn’t for ordinary humans, haha.]
[Was it good to do it twice?]
[Did you read it?]
[Hyung, did you faint?]
“
”
I also feel bad for the river because I can’t think about it anymore because of this frank message.
I was constantly cursing when I got a phone call to see if I had exhausted my patience.
– Why didn’t you reply after seeing it?
“Hey, if you suddenly ask me if he was big without any context
”
– You know what it is!
Choi Sung-hyun’s voice was full of playfulness. It made me laugh even though I wasn’t aware of it.
– “Yeah, it’s big and terrifying.”
– Isn’t it amazing? My dad is big, my uncle is big, and in our bloodlines are all big.
Choi Sung-hyun indirectly boasted that he was also big. It was adorable. Would this be how I felt if I had a younger brother?
– Hyung, are you dating my older brother (T/N: Just reminder that Hyung is used to address older men by younger men both in blood relation or not. To avoid confusion I use older bro here to address his blood brother)
“No. There’s nothing like that.”
– You slept with him twice. Why not?
“Your brother
 it seems he doesn’t have any secrets.”
I think I would have avoided my brother’s sex history because it was so disgusting and embarrassing.
When I was in middle school, my older brother brought his girlfriend home and introduced her. I ran into that girlfriend by chance during summer vacation. While holding cigarettes from convenience stores, I saw her holding a condom. I couldn’t bear the thought of my brother using a condom, so I didn’t think about it again.
– I don’t know. The uncles tell me everything, even if I don’t want to hear it. I heard my brother slept at your house.
“Oh, it’s embarrassing, so stop. Why did you call me?”
– What do you mean why?
“What is the reason for your call? I’m sure you didn’t call to talk about me sleeping with your brother.”
– That’s right
 I’m upset, Hyung. Must there be a reason? Between us

“What’s there between you and me.”
– We’re each other’s lifesavers~. Hyung, why are you so cold? I’m disappointed?
Choi Sung-hyun, who kept nagging because he was disappointed, didn’t seem to have any other main point. He just called to say something really stupid. And it was because of him that I laughed. So I decided to go with the flow.
“Do you think your brother is interested in me?”
– I don’t know, but it’s the first time my brother slept somewhere according to Uncle Dokki.
“Do you live with your brother?”
– No, but I want to live together. We’ve been living apart since we were kids. My brother was so cold that he doesn’t even come to see his parents. He hasn’t even read my message for days.
“Really?”
I felt somewhat proud after exchanging messages with Choi Sung-hoon just now.
But I quickly shook my head.
Why should I feel proud? Ugh, I’m going insane because my heart was as light as a feather.
– However, the extremely dominant Alpha was usually more at ease living alone. It was also better for both me and my dad. If we stay together, I may develop into a recessive Alpha.
Wait, what did he just say?
“Extremely dominant?”
– Yeah, extremely dominant. Why?
“Uh, Choi Sung-hoon is extremely dominant?”
– Yeah, you didn’t know?
“Extremely dominant?”
I repeated these two words like a parrot.
Extremely dominant
 I thought that the extremely dominant Alpha only existed on TV

It was much more intimidating than the dominant Alphas I’d met so far. It’s terrifying
 I could see why I was so disoriented that I completely forgot about our first sex. It was understandable given that he was an extremely dominant Alpha.
“Wait, then I slept with an extremely dominant Alpha!”
When I realized what had happened, I opened my eyes wide and lifted my head.
“

”
When I raised my head, I saw Won-jo, who also had wide-eyed eyes and froze coldly. Won-jo had just arrived and intended to sit, but he was stiffened in an awkward posture.
Oh, shit

– How can you not know? Hyung, you’re really slow. At first glance, my Hyung doesn’t look like an ordinary dominant Alpha.
I don’t know since when the modifier ‘ordinary’ could be added in front of the dominant alpha.
For now, I was more concerned about Won-jo who was in front of me than that.
“Hey, I’m busy. I’m hanging up, I’ll call you later.”
I hung up without listening to Sung-hyun’s answer. Won-jo asked as soon as he sat down,
“What was that phone call just now? Extremely dominant Alpha? What?”
“Where did you hear that?”
“Do you think your brother is interested in me?”
Fuck, he heard it all. I didn’t want to tell him

The atmosphere at the table did not improve even after the snacks and drinks we had ordered arrived and we had a drink.
Won-jo expression was very distorted. I’m not sure if he’d rather frown openly or not. I was trying to laugh it off, so he felt as if he was being mocked.
“The alpha you talked about last time? The rich dominant alpha that lives in a different world from you?”
“Oh, you have such a good memory.”
“You had sex with an extremely dominant Alpha.”
“Yeah.”
Won-jo was boiling now.
Envy, jealousy, and betrayal.
Those emotions were evident. But he smiled, attempting to conceal his unspoken emotions.
“As expected, you are such a jerk. When did you plan to brag about it to me?”
“There’s nothing to brag about. I slept with him, and that was the end of it. It wasn’t flirting, and it certainly wasn’t dating.”
“Don’t lie. I heard you asking if he is interested in you.”
“Ah, damn you have clear ears
”
I laughed like an idiot, trying to stop the cold atmosphere.
“Honestly, I had sex with him twice. Can’t I expect anything? I know I don’t fit his level, but just in case you know
”
“How did you meet him? Tell me.”
Won-jo folded his arms as if he would give me time to tell him my story. I drank soju without snacks and spoke briefly.
“I happened to see a car hit a power pole while attempting to avoid a cat, and the driver was an unlicensed high school student. The high school student asked that I speak with his older brother, and when I met him, I discovered that he was a sexy dominant alpha.”
I explained it by mixing lies and truths.
“Wow, that’s how you meet a man. The ability to entangle a man was surprisingly amazing.”
“Damn you bastard, are you making fun of me now?”
“I’m saying this because I’m really surprised.” Anyway, what about the call after that?”
“He contacted me today. He slept at my house a few days ago and delivered me a lunch box, so I told him to stop.”
“Lunch box? I seem to be missing a lot of things.”
Won-jo burst out laughing. He seems to be feeling better as he slowly rummages through the side dishes with chopsticks.
“You mean you haven’t made an appointment to meet again?”
“Yeah, he didn’t ask me to meet him.”
“It’s strange. You’re so well-behaved that not many people fall off after just one night’s sleep.”
Won-jo ate three stir-fried sausages and vegetables as a side dish all at once, and it seemed to help him feel better.
“What’s so lacking in an extremely dominant Alpha that he would be interested in something like you? It’s that simple.”
This’s why I didn’t want to tell you.
Won-jo is the type of person who wants to know my lover’s wealth and then compares it to his own lover’s wealth, gets jealous if I get an alpha lover, and worries about me meeting a bum, but he would laugh at the shit I’ve been through.
Which boyfriend was it? Was it when I was 20 years older? He was a beta lover who was 20 years older than me, and when we argued or got too excited, he punched me in the face. One time, I got hit incorrectly and the bruise mark was formed from under my eyes to my cheeks, and when he saw my face, Won-jo burst out laughing.
‘Hey, are you getting beaten up? You look like a fucking panda.’
I broke up with that boyfriend and had a brief fling with a customer while working part-time at a buffet. Won-jo, who was working with me at the time, noticed and showed him a picture of my bruises. ‘He’s a masochist. Will it be okay?’
The flirting ended, and I fought Won-jo to the death that day.
They’re saying that birds with the same feather flock together. He was a friend who’s perfect for my level.
“Seo-yu, you are pathetic as well. You should forget about the pointless one-night stand and get married. Nobody cares when a recessive Omega gets older.”
“Fuck you, you’re talking too much. You call yourself my friend.”
“I’m doing this because I’m sincerely worried about you as a friend.”
Won-jo laughed and poured alcohol into my cup. I also refilled his glass.
What can I do? He’s the only friend I have.
As rumors of my relationship spread during the school day, I lost all of my friends, and even those I had kept in touch with after graduation broke up and lost contact. I couldn’t attend the graduation ceremony because I was working, and my phone number changed several times because I was dating a lot of men.
Because the clubs where I met Won-jo as an adult were the same, I had no choice but to stay in touch.
Just like me, Won-jo would look at me and think the same thing.
It’s pathetic to have such a bastard as a friend.