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C139: THE CELESTIAL GOD
I am Zeus, the most wondrous celestial god.
People do name me together with mine own brothers Hades and Poseidon the Three Realm Deities, but I reign supreme over the two of those folk.
For I am, in fact, the god of the sky who dost rule the highest territory in this world!
“It is nary but a realm up above surrounded with nothing but clouds…”
Oh, I didst not know thee were here, Hermes.
“Yep, it’s me, Hermes. One of the many children thee hast sired from the partners thee hast been sleeping with.”
That’s…quite the suggestive way to phrase it.
Nay matter.
It is precisely because I’m the greatest in this world that I am well-loved by everybody!
Enough of that, let it be, is there something thee seeks, Hermes?
I’m busy, as thee can witness. I haven’t such time to spare listening to tush tush.
“You descry amply free to me. I, an emissary and messenger of the gods, hast come to call, so of course there’s something important I shall report.”
Is such so?
Well, alloweth me to hear this important message of yours. If ‘t be true I deem it frivolous, I shall amerce thou by molding you into a biddy laying eggs!
“The human race thee did create hast been defeated.”
Yup! It’s not important at all!
Too bad for thee, Hermes!
For the next three days, not only shall thou suffer from constipation, but thee shall meekly imitate a biddy laying eggs…
…
Sayeth what?!
“Cock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-do!”
Thou dunce! This isn’t the time to mimic a biddy!
It’s a shockingly grave matter!
Thee hath said the race I did create hast been defeated?
Tush tush!
Those gents hadst a mission to gain dominion o’re the earth as mine own minions!
“The earth hast always been Uncle Hades’ territory to begin with. The demon race did win the territorial war as the rightful inhabitants… Well, just as those gents should have.”
Forsooth?!
Mine own race should’ve prevailed instead, especially since those gents hast mine own support!
“Just to reiterate, wasn’t it thy race who did make the first move and invaded Uncle Hades’ territory? Nonetheless, it doth seem the victorious demon race hath chosen to endow mercy and does treat those folk as compatriots instead of purging them from the earth. Uncle Hades’ adherents art kind, after all.”
Thou believeth I care a wit about such?
Mine own race assuredly is hilding. Those gents should’ve just combated till the bitter end and kicked the bucket with a noble, honorable death if ‘t be true they art to be defeated and eliminated.
“How overdramatic. Wherefore not thee just sendeth those folk help presently?”
What? I think not.
Why should I wend a path out of mine own way to help those folk?
Besides, age upon age ago, I still was so psyched up about everything upon the world that I was generous with mine own blessings to the human race, disrupting the balances of the world and causing a lot of vexation to everyone.
Even Hades and Poseidon did tell me to never do such again, so I shall not.
“You ceased because thou did get scolded? Thee hast the mentality of a weak person for someone so ‘wondrous.’”
I care not!
I’m the noblest god in the world, so I’m not used to being scolded!
…Besides, isn’t it kind of weird?
Wasn’t the war between the demon and human races in a deadlock for thousands of years?
But then the demons suddenly emerged victorious.
Doesn’t such a situation strike thee as odd?
Doth thou think Hades hast supported his own race underhandedly?
“He’s not liketh thee…”
Nay, I’m sure that gent didst something!
I hath decided thusly that gent didst, so that gent didst!
“Tell thee what. If ‘t be true thee tries to wage war ‘gainst the other gods based on some false accusation, I, and the rest of the celestial gods shall turneth ‘gainst thee.”
Huh?
But why?!
“It’s because thou art not popular. We won’t place our life on the line to kick the bucket upon the battlefield with thee.”
How dareth thou! Thou art supposed to be mine own son!
Fine! At least alloweth me to grumble about how Hades cheated to alloweth his race to win!
Hades is a cheat! A cheat! A cheat, cheat, cheat!
…Hold, happily if ‘t be true should I complain to Hades, that gent shall show kindness enough to giveth us a part of the earth! I’ll appeal to that gent by using the area of the humans that gent did fail to claim as an excuse! Yeah, let’s advance with that! Time to wend our way to Hades’ lodging!
Adieu!
I am Hermes, a god of wisdom residing in the celestial realm.
I sighed deeply after sending off mine own shameful father only but now.
Wherefore is someone like that gent the godhead of the skies?
Alas, there’s naught a use in deploring now.
As the god of wisdom, I can leverage one of mine own abilities, telekinesis, to communicate with people at a distance…
…Holla, Uncle Hades?
Aye, it’s me, Hermes.
Just now, mine own buffoon of a father hast gone to thy lodging to grumble, so prithee discreetly sendeth that gent hence.
I has’t not spake to that gent of the recent cierr, of course, prithee keep in mind of it as well and don’t allow such to slip.
Goodbye.
Being the god of knowledge, wisdom, and ingenuity, I doth know a lot of things.
So, of course, I knoweth whyfore the human race was defeated by the demon race.
The answer… lies in a certain sojourner from another world.
Zeus, mine own foolish fusty father, hast this annoying thaumaturgic spell that summons inhabitants from another world to this one without any warning whatsoever.
“He,” one of the many victims, hath taken a gift from mine own brother Hephaestus and exerted his influence by putting an end to the war between the demon and human races.
I wonder how the fusty man shall feel if ‘t be true that gent finds out that the son that one did shun because of his unsightly looks is the same person whose gift shattered his own ambitions?
As much as it does make me curious, I won’t tell that gent.
I’m certain nothing valorous shall cometh from him knowing about the otherworlder’s existence, or shouldst I say ‘saint,’ as others doth name him.
Especially since Uncle Poseidon and Hades hath asked me to keep it a secret.
Thus I, Hermes, shall vouchsafe this information shall never reach that fusty man’s ears.
For the rest of us gods in the sky, the settlement of the war on earth heralds peace.
And as gods, it’s our rightful duty to protect the peace of the saint, as well as mine own revered brother Hephaestus who hast made such a time possible.