Chapter 48

“- Oh – sometimes this job that we’re doing, you know, makes me wonder sometimes.”

His tongue is starting to twist. The end of his words was also slurring. Jude, who had been sipping strong alcohol along with Tim, looked back at his partner, who had already become quite relaxed. With a subtle swinging gesture, Tim hit Jude’s back once.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes, I’m listening, I’m listening.”

He’s a strange guy. When you drink, don’t you usually talk to yourself whether the other person answers or not? But Tim, he always checks whether or not he listens to him like this – Jude answered half-heartedly, as he marvel about his partner’s drinking habits in his mind.

“I don’t know what’s — I don’t know what’s right. Well, it’s our job to get the bad guy in, but sometimes it’s confusing. Just this time — I don’t know who’s the worst.”

“…… well, you don’t have to argue about that, do you? We’re cops, and we just have to catch the criminals. It’s none of our business who’s the worst and rightest morally.”

“Jude, what are you talking about? The police are just–.”

“-A protector? You always say that when you’re drunk.”

“Hahha, when I was ten years old, I thought I wanted to be a cop because of that. So did all the kids. Then what made you a cop?”

Smiling, Jude put the glass to his mouth instead of answering. Perhaps he didn’t like his partner who keeps being silent, Tim pushed for an answer by hitting him on the back again.

“I’ve always wondered — the guy who doesn’t seem to care what happens in the world–why did he become a cop?”

“Just.”

“That’s not fair. Oh, I have another question.”

“What is it?”

“You, when you were ten– you didn’t even remember your name?”

“Yes.”

“Then the name was given to you by your guardian there?”

With a nod, Jude looked back curiously at his partner. What the hell are you trying to ask me?- As he looks at his dark brown eyes, Tim asks with an unnecessarily serious atmosphere.

“Then why is your name Jude? Was there a reason?”

“……Oh? Ah, the director of the orphanage was so into The Beatles’ ‘Hey Jude’. Just like the discovered mummy named after Lucy when the researchers were listening to ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.’

“-Oh, I know that. That’s a mummy found in Ethiopia, right? The origin of mankind.”

“Oh, well, I heard so.”

Tim giggled a little out of the ordinary. It wasn’t a happy smile made by the usual Tim, and Jude became a little anxious. This is dangerous. Feeling certain that if he drank at his partner’s pace, they would both be sleeping at the bar, Jude stand up after emptying his glass all at once to the foreboding that they would both be dead drunk enough that they can’t even raise their heads to the Chief. The unfocused eyes also blankly headed towards Jude.

“Why-where are you going-”

“Let’s go home, home. Hmm? We have to go to work tomorrow, let’s go, Detective Timothy.”

“Oh? No, you’re not drunk yet.”

“I’m drunk, drunk enough. Just not as drunk as you. Come on, get up, you should go when you’re still in the mood to find your own place. I’ll get you a cab. Ge-Get up!”

“Um, Jude, drag, don’t drag me…”

As soon as he walked out into the dark night with Tim struggling with not much strength, a chilly cold ran through his spine. The weather was heading toward late autumn. Feeling awakened by the cold night air, Jude shook his head a few times. The weight of his partner, who had been supported by his body all day long, came surprisingly heavy. With his head down, Tim, who came out to the side of the street and walked nervously against Jude, suddenly gave him a little hoarse voice.

“-Julie.”

“……Tim, I can accept any drunkenness from you, but can’t you just stop calling me Julie? I can’t stop the urge to throw you away on the street.”

“You… Don’t run away somewhere…”

“Ha? What are you talking about, all of a sudden. Am I a criminal? Why would I run away?”

“When I see you — sometimes I feel uneasy… because you don’t seem to care about anything at all, you don’t seem to be tied to your job or your family like me… So I think you’re just going to evaporate somewhere, sometimes.”

With a quick glance, Jude turned to Tim. Tim’s face, looking at Jude with his eyes raised up, seemed to be strangely crying like a child. Looking at the face for a moment, Jude giggled and laughed.

“You’re saying strange things. Then keep buying me drinks and take hold of me.”

“I’m not kidding, I’m really-.”

“Oh, taxi! Here!”

The yellow taxi slowly approached. Even as Jude squeezed Tim into it, Tim wouldn’t stop mumbling. Nodding roughly that he understood, Jude gave the taxi driver Tim’s address and handed him the money before closing the car door. After looking at the taxi until Tim who stretched out in the back seat was out of sight, Jude soon stuck his hand in his pocket and began to walk in the chilly night streets. Fortunately, Jude’s old apartment is not far away.

Wooong. As he entered his old apartment with a little precarious step, Jude searched his pocket. Looking closely at the caller’s ID, Jude took off his jacket, put it down roughly, and sat on the sofa as if he were falling. From the cell phone that he opened with a long breath that still smell of alcohol, a clear, restrained voice was heard.

[What happened?]

“They-They’re all dead. Either the guy who gave him drugs and deceived him with angel wings, or the one who believed in him giving the wings, they’re all dead.”

[Oh, really? By the way, are you okay? Your voice is a little shaky.]

“I’m okay, I’m okay. It’s because of alcohol. I drank with my Tim-oppa today. If you don’t want to talk to a drunk, hang up early.”

[No way. How did both of them end up like that?]

“You guess? Why are you asking?”

[Did the one who wanted the wings lose his mind?]

“Yeah, well. Like a fool, those guys let them face each other. ‘Why would this happened, that was the hope of my life, blah blah, why won’t you give me wings, blah blah.’ Then he poked his eyes neatly with a pen. In the end, he couldn’t make sense of himself. Is it because he’s a psychopath? Why doesn’t he do a much simple thing?”

[Self-rationality is a really high-level defense, I guess he couldn’t afford to……. Are you sure you’re okay? Sounds like you’re very tired.]

Once again, with a long breath, Jude touched his hot forehead. Inside his eyes, bizarre colours flashed and faded repeatedly. A murmuring voice leaked out.

“Then what am I doing right now? I was wondering if all the cases I’ve been running around all day have been resolved, and then suddenly it ends in a ridiculous way, and I managed to drag my drunken partner out and send him a taxi….and now it’s 12:30 am…… I came back at this hour. I’m not a robot.”

[Shall we hang up and do it again tomorrow? If you’re really tired.]

Jude quieted down for a moment. Shall we do it again tomorrow? It wasn’t easy to hear that from Alvin. Even more – Tim’s at home – if there’s no external factor. It was a suggestion that would have been agreed quickly if it was the normal Jude.

Instead of answering quickly, Jude loosened his hand on his forehead. Tapping slightly on the forehead a couple of times with his index finger, a faint questioning voice came out of the cell phone.

[- Are you listening? Jude?]

“……no……”

[What?]

You can’t. From the bottom of his heart he felt like someone shouted to stop. I can excuse myself for being drunk. He replied curtly to someone, but the voice didn’t stop. You know better than anyone that you’re not one to fall for such an excuse. You don’t know who you are leaving the room for.

-Shut up. Leave me alone, I’m tired. It’s okay sometimes. Spitting out a little roughly inside, Jude slowly opened his mouth.

“………don’t hang up.”

There was a brief gap. After not a long time, a voice flowing with laughter rang his ears.

[-Okay.]

– It was a chilly season, a night when all the neon lights and streetlights lit up the darkness instead of the moon.

The white breath quietly dispersed in the air. A chill fell under the thin outer garment. The now middle-aged woman, who shivered once, gathered the mail in front of the orphanage door. Are the children still sleeping? The teachers will be here soon. Should I ask the housekeeper what’s for breakfast today? As she was about to close the door with the daily murmurs in her mouth, she looked up at the light footsteps coming toward the orphanage. A man with light deciduous hair was wandering around and walks into the orphanage yard. Perhaps it was his first time here, the woman was a little wary of the man’s clumsy gestures and neat clothes.

“What’s the matter?”

When she asked him with the door half open, he quickly looked back at the middle-aged woman and laughed. Oh my, how can this smile be so pure? He must have grown up in a good family. She smiled unknowingly, and he stopped walking and said. The delicate voice sounded pleasantly lively.

“Sorry, is this the Waynebeck Orphanage? I’m not sure because I’m new here.”

“Oh, you came the right away. What brings you here? I’m Mary Hines, the director of this orphanage.”

“I see. My name is Joan Nelvis. I work with Detective Jude Green, and I’m here to update his personal files. I just wanted to ask you something about his records, and I was wondering if you could spare me some time.”

By the unexpected name that popped out of his mouth, Mary unknowingly opened the door a little more and leaned out. Her eyes and voice were shaking lightly at the same time.

“Jude…? Did you just say Jude?”

“Yes, Detective Jude Green. I know he’s from this orphanage, isn’t he?”

“Oh, that’s right, yes. He left this orphanage. I even gave him his name, how can I forget it? Oh, my God, how long has it been since I heard this name? You work in the same workplace? So you know about him?”

“Yes, I know. Because we’re co-worker and friends.”

“Oh, come on in, come on. I can’t believe you’re standing outside with the kid’s news. Come on in, it’s cold.”

At the delightful gesture of the woman, Joan moved his halted foot again and walked to the orphanage door. Jude, Jude. The name, which she hasn’t heard in so long, calms her heart that was beating like a small drum and the woman takes a light deep breath, and Joan approached the door and gently grabbed the door handle instead of the woman.

“Thank you.”

The light blue-grey eyes over the dark frames were bent lightly, smiling favorably at Mary.

* * *

“-Damn, do you have to do a robbery early in the morning? Isn’t it normal to do robbery in the middle of the night? I really wanted to shoot the guy who interfered with my morning coffee.”

A robbery report came in as soon as he got to work. Complaining in an annoying tone, Jude quickly grabbed the gun and entered the police car. Tim in the driver’s seat at almost the same time as his partner entered punched him on the shoulder as if to appease the grumpy Jude.

“Well, I think it’s an alternative for waking you up. The morning air is nice, too. Don’t take it too lightly. The landlord says the old grandmother was shot, so be careful enough.”

“Tim, Tim. My career year is the same as you.”

“Hey, you’re so mean. If you worry about me, can’t you just say ‘I’ll do that surely.’ By the way, what’s that in your pocket? Mail? Is it from him?”

The gap between Tim’s eyebrows that starts the engine narrowed slightly. In Jude’s pocket, a white envelope was sticking out. The report came in before it was opened, and the envelope was half torn. Jude shook his head after looking dryly at the letter in his pocket.

“No, it’s from somewhere else.”

“Where else? That’s exactly what the envelope looks like.”

“No, it’s from an orphanage.”

Tim holds his tongue for a moment. He has already heard that Jude was from an orphanage, but he couldn’t ask him for details. Tim, who was agonizing over to spit out words in his mouth hot-headedly for a short moment, somehow asked in a voice that became a little smaller.

“Which orphanage is it?”

“Waynebeck. It’s not far. They’re sending messages to the kids who came out of there for the 30th anniversary of the establishment. Well, I don’t really want to go.”

“Why, you don’t want to go?”

In no significance, Jude laid back, making a long “um-.” Looking out the window of the car, which began to move smoothly, Jude replied in an indifferent voice.

“Well, I don’t want to go. I don’t know if I’ll have time, anyway I don’t have a reason to go.”

“No reason to go? Aren’t there teachers or anyone you want to see?”

“Well, I don’t really want to see anyone, but…. I do remember the director who gave me my name. It’s been more than 10 years since I came out and I don’t have any friends I’ll be happy to meet again. Oh, Tim, I was a lonely boy.”

Smiling at Jude who was facing him, Tim shook his head. He couldn’t even guess what his eccentric partner’s childhood was like. Who knows if he was a really lonely kid? Tim stepped on the accelerator, giving Jude, who yawned lazily, a pep talk of sleeping early at night. Even if they were talking leisurely, they couldn’t be relaxed as they were dispatched to the scene of the report.

* * *

“-I don’t know how long it’s been. He left the orphanage……let’s see, he was 17 years old, so it’s been over 10 years. How’s he, the boy? Is he healthy?”

As she put her own brewed coffee in front of Joan, Mary chatted a little excitedly. Joan, who thanks her with a nod while receiving a cup of coffee, smiled lightly.

“He’s healthy. He’s doing fine.”

“Police huh, I was pretty surprised when he said he was going to be a detective. I’m so glad to hear that….Oh my, I’m the only one talking. What did you say you were here for? Update personal files?”

“Yes, I need an update on the detective’s personal records. We’re going to write a new file while checking the records on the file. As you know, the police are strict public officials, so it’s a rule to document every detail of their personal identity.”

“Oh, is that so? So, what do you want me to answer?”

“I heard he entered this orphanage when he was 10 years old, is that true?”

When Joan asked with a serious face, Mary’s gentle face faded a little. Mary, who was silent for a moment with her mouth closed and her hands facing each other, speak up a little sharply with a gritty voice.

“It was raging in the mass media. Mr. Nelvis…..”

“Please call me Joan.”

“Yes, Joan you probably don’t know because you were a kid. It was a winter day almost 20 years ago. The day before, there was light snow and the road was frozen. At that time, he was walking alone without shoes, and it wasn’t Jude who came here by himself but he was found by other people. It was so strange and horrible that it was in the newspaper.”

“Strange and horrible? Was he hurt or something?”

“He didn’t remember anything, except his age. He didn’t even know his family name, and he didn’t know where he’s coming from. Besides…”

Mary was reticent for a moment. The blue-grey eyes grew curiously large.

“Besides?”

“I don’t know if this is necessary…”

“Don’t worry. If I think it’s not unnecessarily private, I’ll take it out. I told you? I’m Jude’s friend.”

The middle-aged woman tried to smile. After a moment of further consideration, Mary opened her mouth with a long sigh and shook her head.

“The ragged clothes he was wearing were covered with blood. The child looked lost spiritually. At first, he didn’t react to what we were saying, and I was worried. Maybe I should send him to a mental hospital, and with the police coming in and out, it was really hard.”

“Blood stain? Whose blood was it?”

“I still don’t know that. It wasn’t his blood, but there was no way to know whose it was. They say it’s definitely human….but, I just thought he’d definitely seen something ugly. When the police asked the child, he didn’t answer anything; he didn’t even have any expression. During his first day at the orphanage, he acted like a child who could not see or hear everything around him. I even suspected he was a deaf child.”

“So, he’s feeling better the next day?”

Mary’s eyebrows, with her hand covering her mouth, were slightly frowning.

“……Well, I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t remember, but he’s been very clear since the next day. I should say he’s a resilient kid.”

“Haha, I see that. Jude, he’s the type to fly around the next day after he takes on tough cases.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

After cutting off Joan’s words a little hastily, Mary regretted for a moment. They came out to investigate Jude, and it would not be enough to say good things. Towards Mary, who paused, Joan opened his mouth with a relaxed smile.

“It’s okay. I told you, right? I’m going to judge it well. I’m not going to leave any record that could harm Jude. But I’m going to be happy if you tell me his personal story.”

“You want to hear… his personal story?”

“Haha, I’m his friend. Isn’t it natural that I want to know about my friend’s childhood? And he’s got a weird peculiarity. I think I can help him more if I know how he grew up. Though he might say he doesn’t need it.”

“Is that so…”

Looking at Joan’s smiling face, Mary briefly admired. This is a very bright young man. He must be very blessed to be friends with someone like this. While carefully choosing words to say, Mary slowly opened her mouth.

“As you said….. he had a peculiarity. The other teachers didn’t recognize him well, but I could see what was unusual about him because I usually took care of him. He was unusually strong in self-preservation, a strong sense of self-protection, something like that. Usually, children are wary of people around them in such situations, but eventually they’ll try to rely on them and cling to them. But he was different. He acted like a child to us on the outside and sometimes spoiled, but the fence around him didn’t disappear. It was the same with the kids he was playing with. There are many children who remember Jude as an active kid, but there are probably no children who remember him as a close friend. What I wondered was that….it’s only possible for adults who’ve been through everything.”

After a short pause, Mary took a sip of coffee. Joan’s eyes did not fall from Mary for a single moment.

“That moderately deceiving fence, a fence decorated with manners and jokes, is what adults put up, not what children can build. I was really curious about what kind of experience he had and what did he saw that he would have this attitude.”

* * *