chapter 46

Jude, who argued with his partner who took his glass and eventually talked about Rita and got two more glasses, turned the doorknob of his old apartment with a slightly sleepy face. The smell of the slightly damp house irritated his nose, and Jude grumbled and opened the window. As he thought about whether to do major repairs or moving out, the blond detective shook his head. Even if he moved out, it would have turned into a similar state. Jude knew himself too well.

Woo-woo. His cell phone cried, and Jude, who had just taken off his jacket, dug into the pocket and pulled out his cell phone. While checking the caller, Jude clicks his tongue. After looking at the clock, sighing, Jude quickly opened the flip phone.

“Why.”

[Oh, you knew it was me?]

“What. Why?”

[I just want to talk. Is everything okay?]

“Why? What if something happens?”

[Gee, don’t be too aggressive. It’s not a crime to talk to you, is it?]

“Isn’t it a crime for a fugitive to call the police and talk to them? Come on, really.”

There was no spite in his voice. Jude unknowingly pressed his forehead when a low laughter coming from his cell phone. You made a mistake. You should’ve cut off the first line coldly so that the story doesn’t last long. Curious of his stupidity, Jude flopped down on the sofa.

“Not much is going on at the bar except that someone asked me if I believed in angels. Are you done?”

[Angel? What do you mean, angel? Did you meet a priest or a pastor?]

“I don’t know. Priest or pastor, do I believe in angels?”

[You don’t believe it, do you?]

“……I, was I such an obvious human being?”

[Haha, it’s not true. So what? Did he say something bad?]

“Well, rather than something bad, he said something funny. He heard the voice of an angel, and he said he would give him the wings of an angel as much as he killed the corrupt. Simply put, he meant to let him join the ranks of angels. I’ve got nothing to say.”

[…….keuk…….pu……..ahahahaha!]

It was a burst of laughter that came back to the mild explanation. Alvin’s unusually long, breathless voice soon tried to hold his breath – “Kik, by the way……kuheuk! So…” – and asked Jude.

[So, you didn’t answer?]

“What would I say? He wanted me to tell him the name of the criminals, can I? I wasn’t saying anything, but my friend came and saved me. I guess I have a very gentle impression. Ah, that’s a negative factor for a detective.”

[Oh, hahaha! Oh my God, I didn’t know there were so many different shapes of people breaking apart. The wings of an angel, that’s unusual. Should I call it a pure axis or a more complicated and horribly distorted heart? There are so many shapes of mind in the world. It’s all similar in fundamental terms, but this in the form of an angel’s wing. The more you kill, the more you think you’re complete. Gee, I look normal now after saying this.]

“The bartender says he’s kind of like that. I guess he was so into religion that he went around talking about it. I don’t know who he’s going to kill in the future, but what about someone who’s already gone?”

[Why don’t you believe in God?]

When he was asked so suddenly, Jude went quiet for a moment. Jude, who had been thinking for a while about how to answer it, slowly opened his mouth with a sigh. Lying makes the conversation unnecessarily long. It was a lesson learned from the conversation with Alvin.

“Rather than not believing……….I’m not interested.”

[Hmm, you’re not interested? But it’s one of the biggest interests of human beings. Have you never thought about it? I don’t think so.]

“Literally, I don’t care. What’s the difference? So I’m not interested.”

[There are many people who are comforted by the fact that God exists. Have you ever thought that you wanted to feel that comfort?]

“I’d rather lean on Tim rather than to rely on someone whom I can’t see or hear. I look at horrible things and solve them, and I’m not diligent or spiritual enough as to try to find any profound truth of God there. Terrible things are terrible things, and bloodshed is bloodshed. I’m not interested in the profound meaning of it. I like simple things. I don’t know if it’s there or not, but it doesn’t matter if it’s there or not. That’s all.”

[Yeah… Well, it’s not going to change much. Unless someone opens up the way to God. But the man you just mentioned must have already made his way to God.]

“…………..I said no matter how God exists or not, I would rather not have a God who sends angels to make people ask for such things. My workload will only increase.”

[Some people find all the meaning of their existence in the existence of God. It’s hard to say that it’s rare, but very few of them are involved in violence. Besides, the wings of an angel, they’re subtly combined with self-consciousness. What does his God looks like? At least I don’t think it’s a legitimate image of God.]

From ‘the wings of an angel’, laughter was mixed in again. Yawning loudly – perhaps due to an adequate amount of alcohol, he felt drowsy to the point of feeling good – Jude tilted his head towards his opponent who was not even in front of him.

“I don’t know, what do I know? I hope that no murder is possible. It’s going to get troublesome. Besides, how hard would Tim blame himself for that? He said he had to catch him then, and I had to hold him for a while and he keeps whining about it after that. Tim is someone who can spend a night drinking for something he did wrong a few years ago. He still hasn’t forgotten his ex-girlfriend and what more if it’s a murder, I don’t need any more words.”

[Because he’s a good man. He must have grown up with a lot of love. I’m sure he didn’t spend his life without any worries. He must have his own dark corners.]

“Yes, I suppose so. But overall, Tim was a lovely child from a well-to-do family. I thought I was going to die laughing while looking at his picture album. But he’s cute in his own way…. but what are you doing staying up all this time? It’s already past midnight.”

Why am I telling him all this little stuff? – The moment he thought about it, Jude quickly turned the subject around. The laughter of the person who had grasped the situation, coming over the cell phone, made his nerves antsy. All right, let’s move on this time. It seemed like he could hear his voice beside his ear. Laughing softly for a moment, Alvin responded to the change of subject smoothly.

[I called you before I went to bed because I wanted to hear your voice.]

“Ugh, you’ve done me a great deal of damage. Find the female role somewhere else.”

[Ahaha, I can’t find anyone else. Anyway be careful not to see him again.]

“Oh? Him? Why, who do you think he’s going to end up hurting in the end?”

[I can’t be sure. I didn’t see him myself; I just heard it from you. But I can’t deny that it seems highly likely. You feel that, don’t you? That he might commit something in the near future.]

“……… well, maybe it’s because he openly told me he’s going to kill someone. Next time we meet, I’ll ask for his name and check his identity.”

[If he really kills someone and gets the wings of an angel, I want to see it in my own way. That sounds like a lot of fun.]

“………not funny.”

Laughing once, Alvin said good night in a soft voice. After answering half-heartedly, Jude lies on the sofa and looked at the fluorescent light with his cell phone on his stomach. The unpleasant colour stimulated his eyes indefinitely. Every time I saw that light, I felt like I was a dead body, so Jude, who was muttering in his mouth, soon closed his eyes to the sleepiness that filled his body. It’s been a long time since I’ve been so drunk.

– Even when Tim’s urgent voice came out of his cell phone that rang loudly on his stomach about eight hours later, Jude wasn’t too surprised, just annoyed.

“-So, what’s the matter with you calling me to get out here in such a hurry? This early in the morning.”

The morning when the cell phone cried on Jude’s stomach, to the blasé-faced Jude, Tim presented the crime scene photo in an uncomfortable manner. Tim’s voice was sullen as he briefly explained to his partner who took it casually.

“…… pictures of a woman who died last night. Laura Brunner, 31 years old.”

“But this looks man-made……aah.”

The dead woman’s naked upper body was full of traces of random strokes. A pattern in which simple lines intersect numerous times. It was a common sign in the city’s night view and on the streets during Christmas, and Jude slightly narrowed his eyebrows. Tim’s face was still gloomy.

“Is it a cross?”

“Yes, and take a look at her back.”

When he turned over a picture following Tim’s words, he could see the inscription on the woman’s back. It was a crude and clumsily engraved letters using the edge of a knife, but it was large enough to read it quickly. In the middle of a woman’s pale back, the loud words were not long.

-Look, look! Now give me the wings!

“……….Oh, it must be him.”

“Yes……… damn it.”

The curse word popped out. Looking a little curiously at Jude’s eyes, Tim bit his lips with a chuckle. It was an act when anger and sadness emanated at the same time, and Jude knew the cause of the emotion. He had expected his partner to react like this if this happened. But he didn’t really want to, and Jude shrugged slightly and turned over a few more pictures. The place where the body was disposed of and abandoned was next to the church. Jude gave a deep sigh.

“Anyhow, this guy seems to have fulfilled his fantasy.”

“I should have stopped him. I shouldn’t have just let him go when he says he’s going to kill people.”

“……no matter what, you couldn’t just catch him and interrogated him with just those words. What had happened is already happened, so just focus on this…”

“If I had stopped him then, she wouldn’t have died. The kid wouldn’t have had to go to the orphanage. If I had just looked into it a little bit more…”

Swallowing a sigh, Jude put his hand on Tim’s back. It was understandable that his partner with a distressed face was struggling. But, he did not have the leisure to put in a good word for him.

“Well, what can we do now? All we have to do now is catch the criminal, and that’s all we can do. And until we catch him, we’re not sure if he actually did it. Let’s go and think about it, okay?”

“It’s him, you know it! Do you think there are so many people in the world talking about killing for angels’ wings?”

The answer burst out harshly. It was close to pure anger, and Jude closed his mouth for a moment and looked at Tim. It was not very common for Tim to get angry. At the moment, Jude’s silent gaze, who had lost his words, eased Tim a little. Looking straight into his partner’s trembling eyes, Jude asked slowly, softly and calmly.

“Are you mad at me?”

On Tim’s face, there was a great deal of embarrassment. His voice came out in a flurry.

“No! It’s not like that… it’s just, I’m….”

“Because I told you not to mind then, do you think this is my fault?”

“It’s not like that! I don’t think it’s your fault. It’s just… it’s just that I don’t feel good. If you think it was something you could’ve prevented, you’d be mad …..”

Tim, who was deeply expressing his intention not to be misunderstood, soon sighed deeply at Jude’s unwavering gaze. The tension on his shoulders was relaxed, and clearly visible to Jude’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I’m just going to stop… yeah, and this isn’t going to solve anything. Something must have blinded me. I haven’t been in my right mind since I saw this scene… I’m sorry.”

Jude, who was looking at Tim without much expression, smiled and patted his partner on the back. Jude’s partner, who was quite honest, was really sincerely expressing an apology.

“Well, forget it, that’s it. I understand. Who likes this kind of situation?”

“…….By the way, is it okay with you? That’s the guy we saw yesterday. He did this.”

“Well, not really good. It has already happened. We have to try hard and catch him, right? What differences will it makes if we blame ourselves? My motto is to always look forward to the future.”

“Well, sometimes I think you’re a great guy.”

Smiling ridiculously with a little bit of bewilderment, Tim slightly raised both hands as if saying – I give up. Yeah, that’s absurd. It must be hard to be understanding. Laughing inwardly at Tim’s expression, Jude grinned.

“This is what a mature member of society looks like. Keep up the good work, Tim.”

“Yes, yes. Let’s do our best.”

“By the way, didn’t you get any fingerprints from the body? He seemed a bit off his mind, so I don’t think he would have wiped his tracks so neatly.”

“I’ve already got the fingerprint, so it’s being looked up. I’ve requested it, so it’ll be out soon…”

“Oh, Tim! Here we go!”

Even before Tim’s words were finished, a sharp voice was heard from inside. He was an agent who had just entered the station, and still had a young look on his face. Running to the front of Tim, who turned his head in a flash, he dutifully held out what he had in his hand. Come to think of it, he’s similar to the image that the big guy disguised as when he was in the hospital. Thinking anew about his colleague, Jude soon dropped his gaze on the paper. An excited voice burst out of Tim’s mouth.

“Yes, this is him!”

“Hehet, he’s got a criminal record, so his details came out quickly. He was originally a simple office worker, but I guess he didn’t do well with his wife. He was arrested once for assault 8 years ago. He was released quickly then, since he seems to have a history of mental illness due to depression. His life’s a little miserable.”

“The name is….. Chad Lockman. Jude, he lives just a short distance from the bar.”

“Well, that’s good. Let’s go. If he’s so distracted that he even left fingerprints on the body, he’s sure to have something in his house. If we’re lucky, we can finish it quickly.”

“Okay, I’ll call backup. Let’s go!”

Looking at the back of Tim shouting and turning around in a driven manner, Jude smiled with a slight tilt of his head. It wasn’t a smile that came out because he’s having fun, and Jude quickly removed it from his face before it was seen by the new police officer.

“-Chad? Chad Lockman? NYPD, open the door!”

TangTangTang, Tim spent nearly three minutes in front of a dilapidated apartment – Jude was impressed that there was an older apartment than his own – knocking on the door, but there was no answer. He was jobless and the caretaker had never seen anyone go out, so it was impossible that there was no one inside. Looking back at Jude and his colleagues, Tim poked the spare keys that they got from the caretaker into the doorknob.

Click, the indifferent sound rang once and Tim opened the door without hesitation. And at that moment, all the police officers who came to Chad’s house stepped back. The smell of rotting protein was gushing out like a storm from inside and stimulated their nose and brain, which they can’t get used to no matter how much they smell it. With the deep fishy smell added to it. Inside, there was something they were most reluctant to face. The hands holding the gun were tightened. They didn’t feel any signs of people inside, but it wasn’t known if there are really no people or if someone is secretly waiting for them to approach to kill them. As their muscles became tense, they slowly stepped into the house.

The smell got worse as they moved their feet inside. I wish I could ventilate. The air in my apartment is much fresher than here – patiently grumbling, Jude looked around. The sight of the house, once again, startled the police. A wall-filled paintings of a cathedral and a church, paintings of angels flying in the sky, paintings of angels punishing people, temples, execution of sinners, crosses, crosses, and crosses. The dense paintings, without a single crack, created a hideous atmosphere as if they were staring at the people who broke into the house. It was a dizzying interior sense, and Jude shook his head and stepped toward the strong smell. His nose was already getting dull, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t bothered.

“……I think it’s here.”

The thing that flowed out of the door of the innermost room had solidified. Tim, who looked uncomfortably at the dark red colour, met his colleagues in the eye once, kicked the door open and aimed the gun at once. The rotten smell filled the lungs even more deeply.

“……… sh*t……!”

“Oh my God…..!”

“Oh, my God, what the hell is this….”

Swearing resembling sighs popped out reflexively. The body of the man, who closed his eyes not much different from the pictures, was embedded on the wall with a few nails. He didn’t look like he was hanging on the cross; he was just brutally stuck on the wall. As if to embody the screaming posture, the man’s limbs were strangely twisted and blanched as they clung to the wall.

“That’s too much. Yeah… isn’t this a complete nut job?”

As he approached the body carefully, one of the colleagues who came with him spat out in a fed-up tone. Tim, who was looking at the body with his molars clenched, suddenly looked back at his partner and made a puzzled expression. Most of the on-site bodies were frowned upon with a not-so-good feeling but the eyes of Jude, they did not even budge. With the face of a person who found that there was a thorn in his shoe while walking for a long time, Jude tilted his head suspiciously. Tim, looking at his conduct eventually asked, unable to stand the curiosity.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Well, no… just a little… nothing.”

“That’s not a look of nothing…..Jude!”

Tim couldn’t finish the rest of the words, as he hurriedly turned around and held up the gun. It was the same with their colleagues, and Jude moved reflexively.

At the doorway where they came in, the man with praying mantis eyes stood stunned. Chad Lockman: His thin, pale figure looked like a ghost in a painting. Tch, clicking his tongue, Jude shouted and asked.

“Chad? Did you do this?”

“……why……why?”

“Hey? Why what, why are you here?”

“Why…..don’t you give it to me…?”

Aha, why don’t they give you the wings when you kill someone? He nodded slightly, and he heard the nervous Tim’s voice from behind.

“Chad Lockman, you’re under arrest for murder. You have the right to remain silent…”

“Why don’t you give it to me? I did what they said. I did what they said! I’ve already killed two people, why!”

He was in a state of excitement. Worse still, he even had a flashing object in his hand. Seeing that the blood is dry, is it a knife that hurt the man in front of us? The fingers hung on the trigger slightly tensed. His eyes, which were clear when Jude looked at the bar, were now cloudy for some reason.

“Is it still not enough…? Do I have to do more? Unbelievers, criminals…”

“Chad, calm down, put that down for now, and let’s talk.”

“Oh, Detective…..I’ve seen you, I know.”

Only then, as if recognizing Jude, there was a weak light in the green eyes.

“Yeah, at that time … you said you didn’t believe in God. So did angels.”

“Jude, back off!”

Tim’s urgent voice flew in. Looking back at Tim, he nodded once, and Jude said to Chad. His feet didn’t move.

“Yes, I did. So what, you’re going to kill me now?”

“But… but you’re a detective… a man who catches bad people, people who break commandments… I don’t know, I don’t think so…”

“Okay, that’s good news. So let’s go and talk, okay? Well, let’s put your wings aside and talk to us. It’s not bad, is it?”

“…but… that man, that man, that man, he can’t forgive…”

Looking back at where Chad’s strangely shiny green eyes were headed, Jude kept his mouth shut for a moment. At the end of the green gaze, was Jude’s brown-haired partner. The faces of Tim and other police officers were momentarily hardened by surprise. Jude turned to Chad again and asked slowly.

“How come?”

“You’re not a God, you’re just a human being, and you looked down at me… as if you’re a great being, ignoring me, looking at me like a bug… It’s a sin, pretending to be God… Yes, you’re a sinner, you’re a sinner…”

Look down? Is he talking about the first time we met? Jude tilted his head, and Tim was also bewildered to the fullest extent — “Under the guise of God, what are you talking about?” — This man, who adds strength to his hand holding the knife in front of his eyes, seemed to be suffering from a pretty serious inferiority complex. It hurts his pride just because someone looks at him from the top angle. Well, the idea of having the wings of an angel could have been a symbol of inferiority. Complaining bitterly, Jude focused all his attention on the man.

As soon as the man who was shooting Tim a look took a step forward, Jude did not hesitate to twist the man’s arm and knocked his back to the floor. The darkly shining guns pointed downward in unison. The man struggled hard and threw a tantrum. The roaring seizure tore the air sharply.

“No! No, I have to die! If I’m caught, I have to die too! The angel said, if I get caught, instead of being judged by man, kill myself and come to the arms of God! Kill that sinner and let me die! Let me die! Let me die! Let me die…!”

Jude was pressing hard on the struggling man’s wrist, but as he approached the man on the floor with a gun in case his partner got hurt by the ignorant blade, Tim stopped, feeling a strong sense of contradiction.

The man, who had been freaking out, quickly fell silent. The horror of one who had been looking beyond what should not be seen manifested on his face. Beyond the back of his partner, what the hell is the man looking at. As Tim swallowed his words for a moment and looked at Jude’s back, the calm voice of his partner who did not match the man’s expression rang.

“It’s loud.”

“Oh, uh, uh, ah…”

“I don’t really care if you die or not. But before you die, you need to tell who your accomplice is. That makes our job easier.”

“Jude, what are you talking about, accomplice…!”

“Well, I guess. Let’s arrest him first. Come on, get up. Oh, can you help me? You want me to take him alone? How many people are here.”

In response to the grumbling Jude, other colleagues standing with guns hurriedly approached Chad. Behind his colleagues, who were handcuffing and dragging the man away, Tim hurriedly grabbed Jude’s arm.

“What are you talking about? An accomplice!”

“Well, well, that dead man, isn’t he too robust?”

He turned casually to the man, and Tim nodded. Perhaps the dead man was a professional fighter; he was in better shape than most athletes. The body was twisted and plugged in the wall, but Jude’s voice was indifferent.

“Chad is weak. Even with the seizure earlier, the struggle wasn’t strong. It’s not easy for such a small man to nail such a burly man to death. There could be someone who helped.”

“That’s… a simple accomplice? Or… do you think it’s the preacher’s side?”

“We don’t know yet. I think it’s on the preacher’s side. But from what I saw earlier, Chad, there’s a lot of injection marks on his arm. Maybe there was a drug supplier. For serious addicts, drug suppliers are almost God. It wouldn’t have been hard to brainwash him as an angel.”

“What, so there’s someone else who’s inspired Chad to fantasize about angels and kill them?”

“I don’t know, Tim. I’m sorry, but I’m not God. I won’t know until I ask Chad. There is no way to know until the inspection team comes out. So, before we do the interrogation, let’s do something important.”

“What’s important?”

Towards the nervous Tim, Jude desperately spat out with a little gloomy face.

“Let’s eat something. I didn’t even have breakfast.”