Since I donât have any books, Iâll make some myself.
Well, where the heck do I go to buy paper? The old man at the general store said that you have to copy books by hand if you want them, so I think there might be blank books available for sale. Although, where the heck do I find those? Perhaps thereâs a store that deals exclusively in paper.
If I were in Japan, Iâd be done in an instant. Iâd write everything out on loose-leaf in a binder, or in a notebook, or on stapled-together printer paper. Here, though, thereâs no end to my problems.
There isnât any paper in the house, so Iâm going to need to start searching for some if I want to have any chance of making a book. My mother went to work this morning, so right now at home thereâs just Tory and me. Of course, this means thereâs only one person around to interrogate.
âTory,â I ask, âDo you know where to buy âpaperâ?â
âHm? What did you say?â she replies. ââPaperâ! Where do I go to⊠oh!â
Tory looks at me quizzically, her braided hair swinging as she tilts her head to one side. This is the face of someone who doesnât understand the Japanese word I just used.
Not good. I donât know how to say âpaperâ in this language. Argh! I really should have asked the old guy at the general store what it was called!
ââŠyou wouldnât know, huh?â
âSorry, Maine,â says Tory, âI guess I donât. Thatâs a funny word, though.â
I hang my head with a dramatic jerk, and let out a deep sigh. The truth is, not knowing where to buy paper is just one of my problems. I also have no idea where to find pencils or pens. Based on what Iâve seen of this city, I doubt anything like a mechanical pencil or a ballpoint exists. Even fountain pens might be unlikely.
Well then, what should I use a writing implement? And, of course, where should I go to find it? And, above all, Iâm certainly not able to go out, by myself, in order to buy all of these materials. This really is troublesome.
âAh!â exclaims Tory, from the kitchen. âDad forgot this!â
I make my way over to the kitchen, where Tory is holding a bundle.
Sure enough, this looks like the thing from this morning, where our father had suddenly said âI need that thing for work, can you get it out for meâ and our mother had gotten mad and shot back âwhy didnât you ask me earlierâ, then she frantically tore apart the storage room looking for it. Thinking about how mad she would be if she were to find out that our father had then forgotten that thing sends shivers down my spine.
âTory, Mommyâs going to be mad, right?â
âYou think so too, Maine?â
I donât know if itâs this family or this world, but people here are very forthright about their emotions. When they laugh, itâs with a booming voice and an idiotic grin, and when theyâre mad, they burn like a raging fire. In other words, my motherâs explosive anger is terrifying.
âTory, should we take this to Daddy?â I ask. ââŠUmmm, well, leaving you alone is, uhâŠâ
When she had stepped outside for just a moment to wash the dishes, I snuck out of the bedroom and then cried my eyes out. When I had gone out shopping with our mother, I fainted and collapsed in a heap. My familyâs estimation of me is probably scraping rock bottom, so Tory probably isnât going to let me out of her sight.
âIf Daddy doesnât have this heâll be in trouble, right?â
ââŠMaine, are you able to walk all the way to the gates?â
Rather than leaving me alone, it looks like weâre going to go out together. Thinking of the distance between here and the town market makes me a little bit uneasy, but my motherâs wrath is far more terrifying. I clench my fist and put on my bravest face.
âIâll⊠Iâll do it!â I say. âWell, letâs go, then.â
Package in hand, we depart, bundled up in our countless layers of clothing. Although we may be wearing many layers, we are not at all fashionable in the slightest. This is entirely for protection from the cold.
By the way, my selection of clothing includes two pairs of underwear, two woolen one-piece dresses, one knitted woolen sweater, two pairs of knit pants that are kind of like long johns, and two pairs of socks, also knitted out of wool. I am wearing every single piece of it.
âTory, isnât this too heavy to move in?â I had asked, while we were bundling up. âIf we donât wear it all, though, the windâs going to break in through the patches and seams, you know? You catch cold super easily too, so you definitely have to wear everything.â
There had been no arguing with my mother when she made me do this, but I briefly entertained the notion that maybe Iâd be able to push back against Tory. She, however, was adamant that I dress appropriately to keep myself healthy. I surrendered to her strong sense of responsibility and put everything on. Thanks to that, itâs very hard to move right now.
Tory is really fit, so even though sheâs bundled up just as tightly as I am, sheâs as nimble as she usually is. To make things worse, sheâs always going out to collect firewood with the other children and run errands for our mother, so sheâs used to walking around a lot. I, on the other hand, am neither strong nor fast. And Iâm wearing a ton of clothing.
âMaine, are you alright?â
âHaaah⊠haaahâŠâ I pant, âIf we go⊠a little slower⊠Iâll be fine.â
Just like last time, Iâm out of breath after climbing down all those stairs. I walk at my own pace. If I push it too hard and collapse, Iâm just going to burden Tory even more. Itâs important for me to start building her trust in me back up.
Even so, walking on cobblestones is haaaardâŠ
Theyâre extremely uneven, so if you arenât paying too much attention to where you step, your foot will get caught and youâll fall on your face. I hold onto Toryâs hand, letting her do the navigating while I concentrate on putting my feet in the right place.
From a little ways away, a boyâs voice rings out. âOh hey, itâs Tory! What are you up to?â
I raise my head. Three boys, wearing wooden backpacks and carrying bows, come running up to us. With red, blond, and pink hair, the trio is certainly eye-catchingly colorful.
Their clothing might have originally been dyed, but years of dirt and food stains have made them a mottled gray. They seem like hand-me-downs, covered in patches. Itâs not that different than what Iâm wearing, so their standard of living is probably the same as ours.
âAh, Ralph! And Lutz and Fey too!â
Since Tory seems so friendly with these three, itâs likely that Maine has some sort of connection to them as well. I scrunch up my forehead in concentration, digging through Maineâs memories.
Ah, yep, there it is. Oh, theyâre the neighborhood kids.
Ralph, same age as Tory. Heâs redheaded and is the strongest. The leader of the kids, gives off an atmosphere as if heâs everyoneâs big brother. Fey, also the same age as Tory. Pink-haired, with the kind of mischievous face youâd see on the worst kind of prankster. He and Maine never got very close, maybe because of the differences in their constitution, so she doesnât have very many memories of him. Lutz, Ralphâs younger brother and the same age as me. He tries to act like heâs my older brother, but he comes across like a cute little boy that wants to grow up.
The three of them seem to be part of Toryâs usual party when she heads off to the forest, and it seems like they sometimes brought Maine along with them. The memories of those few outings seem much clearer than Maineâs other memories.
While my focus was turned inward as I dug through my memory, Tory had struck up a lively conversation with Ralph.
âMy dad forgot something, so weâre going to the gates to bring it to him,â she says. âYou guys going to the forest?â
âYeah. Wanna go to the gate together?â âSure!â
When I see how her face lights up as she talks to Ralph, I realize how much trouble Iâm putting her through every day. Of course heading off to the forest with your friends is way more fun than babysitting, isnât it? Iâm sorry for being such a drag of a little sister. Although, my fever has been down for a few days, so it should be okay for me to start going out again. Specifically, to go out and find a store that will sell me some paper.
When the other kids had just joined up with us, theyâd started going at my speed, but Tory suddenly sped up. Since weâre holding hands, Iâm pulled along with her. Quickly, my feet get tangled together.
âWhoaaaa!â
âMaine?!â Tory immediately stops moving, so I donât fall flat on my face, but I do scrape my knee. âIâm so sorry! Are you okay?â ââŠYeah.â
My knee doesnât hurt very much, but now that Iâve sat down, standing up seems so hard. I just want to rest a little. As I think about how oppressive this situation is, Lutz offers me his hand.
ââŠHey, Maine. Want to ride on my pack?â
Lutz, youâre such a good kid!
According to Maineâs memories, Ralph and Fey are always acting like theyâre better than Lutz, so even though heâs the same age as Maine, he tries to act like her older brother, especially because sheâs so small and weak. Whenever she started getting too exhausted, heâd take her pack so she could keep going. What a gentleman!
On top of that, his blond hair is a color that Iâm actually used to seeing, unlike pink or green, which is comforting.
âMaine, are you getting another fever? If itâs getting too hard, I can carry you.â
Lutz seems so happy. Seriously, he does! However, even though heâs bigger than me, weâre still the same age, so having him carry me on his back might be kind of badâŠ
As I worry about what I should do, Ralph sighs a little, then puts down his backpack.
âLutz,â he says, âif youâre carrying her, itâll take us forever to get to the forest. Iâll carry Maine. Lutz, you take my bow, Fey, you take my backpack.â
âRalphâŠâ
Lutz scowls resentfully at Ralph. He must feel like his good deed was just snatched away from him.
I grab his hand tightly. âYou were the first to help me, Lutz,â I say, smiling broadly. âYouâre so kind. Thanks! You made me happy.â
Being praised for noticing me seems to be enough for Lutz. He smiles shyly, and takes Ralphâs bow without complaint.
If you praise a child for being kind, theyâll keep that kindness with them as they grow up. Iâm speaking, of course, from my adult perspective.
âHey, come here,â says Ralph, beckoning. âOkay! Thanks, Ralph,â I reply.
Ralph is just a little bit bigger than Tory. I lean my weight against his back. Thereâs no need here for the shyness of a little girl. No need at all. With me riding securely on his back, Ralph starts walking at a steady pace.
My field of view is about thirty to forty centimeters higher than it usually is, and the world looks so different from up here. Or, more precisely, I donât have to keep my eyes on the ground to avoid tripping, so I can actually look around freely. On top of that, Ralph doesnât have to slow down to match my usual pace, so the scenery is flowing by at a steady rate.
âWhoa, Iâm so high!â I exclaim. âSo fast, too!â
âDonât get too excited, okay?â he says. âYouâll get sick again.â âYeah! Iâll be careful.â
Eh heh heh, being a frail little girl has its advantages~! Even better, boys who keep going to the forest to get firewood are pretty strong. Heâs got way more muscle than youâd expect from a kid.
If I compare these people to my recollection of what Japanese elementary schoolers are like, there is a significant difference in physique. This might not be a fair comparison, though; not only is the lifestyle very different, but these people are of a different race.
Another thing I shouldnât be comparing to Japan is the scenery. Thin streams of filth ooze out from the narrow alleys, and the pack mules that wander up and down the main street are walking through piles of their own shitâŠ
Itâs⊠itâs not like Iâve been specifically staring at the filth! This is just the kind of spectacle that youâd never see in Japan, so I was a little surprised, so of course my eyes were drawn to it!
Unlike when I had gone out to the town market, the streets are filled with people going to work, so I canât see into any of the first-floor shops as we go past. The shops that deal only in commodities have glass windows, but from here, all I can see are the signs hung above the doors. To make things worse, all of the buildings along the street are of similar color and design, so my eyes are, of course, drawn to anything that stands out in the slightest. Itâs not my fault!
âYou okay, Ralph?â asks Tory, looking a little concerned. âMaine isnât too heavy?â
Ralph shifts me around slightly with a jolt, securing his grip. He turns his head away a little. âI said it was okay,â he says, curtly. âMaineâs really tiny, and sheâs light. If we let her walk, wouldnât it trouble you more?â
I can sympathize with the shy expression on Toryâs troubled face, and I want to help her out. Arenât you supposed to be thanking her right now?
âŠOh ho! Ralphâs just a boy! Perhaps heâs interested in Tory? Heâs trying to use me to get into her heart. I donât particularly mind, though. Alright, letâs make this puppy love happen!
âŠOf course, this is just my particular delusion. The both of them are still very young, so they probably arenât able to really feel true love⊠but I have no books to keep me busy, so at least let me have my fantasies.
Then, Ralph suddenly says âTory, you smell⊠nice,â acting so smooth as he smells her hair. What the hell, kid, do you think youâre the hero of a YA romance novel? Then, of course, Tory blushes shyly and says âReally? ThanksâŠâ
I may not have very many bittersweet experiences under my own belt, even at 22, but Tory is so ridiculously sweet at six years old that itâs only natural for me to have these sorts of thoughts, right?
I never used to pay it any mind when people told me that Iâd never have any sort of male presence in my life if I just stayed in my dream world, reading my books and lost in my fantasies. It wasnât just my family telling me this; even Shuu from next door kept saying it. None of your business! Idiots. Idiots!
While I was distracted by my irritating memories of Japan, Ralph and Toryâs puppy love has blossomed into a proper reverse harem, with Tory in the middle.
âOh, yeah! It does smell good!â
âWhat? What?â
Fey and Lutz have also moved in on Tory, smelling her braided hair. Theyâre all about the same age, so this is definitely a reverse harem.
âWhoa, your hair is super glossy!â
âWhat did you do to it?â
Eh heh heh. Thatâs right, thatâs right!
Satisfied with the surprised reactions of the reverse haremâs members, I nod approvingly from my vantage point on Ralphâs back. Iâve keeping a potpourri of dried flowers in our clothing box, boiling water at dinner time so that Tory and I can give ourselves sponge baths, washing our hair with herb oils and carefully brushing it out, and, bit by bit, bringing up the level of hygiene in our house.
It looks like my efforts are finally starting to pay off!
Incidentally, Ralph and co. are a little bit on the smelly side. Everything around here stinks, so Iâve somewhat gotten used to it, but things that stink still stink. Although Iâd never say it out loud, from my position on Ralphâs back, I can definitely say that he stinks.
I really want to make everyone start washing with soap. The only soap kept at home is a foul-smelling animal-based soap thatâs used for cleaning and doing laundry. Nobody has any nice-smelling vegetable-based soaps to wash themselves with, which is terrible.
Aaaah, even just hand soap would be niceâŠ
As I spaced out, lost in my own thoughts, Lutz suddenly tugs on my hair, sniffing it like he did to Toryâs. âMaine, you smell good too! I can see your face really well with your hair up like that too, you look really cute.â
He gazes innocently at me with his pale green eyes.
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Not good! Lutz, your color scheme is too good! Blond hair and green eyes, thatâs the recipe for a really hot dude!
Noooooooo! My opponent is a child, why am I suddenly so shy?! I know he has zero intentions, but the framing of this scene is just too awkward! Please, stop! I should be old enough to know better, but I have no experience with these things! I canât cope!!
Iâm the only one here whoâs trying to keep their heart from doing backflips. Everyone else is already talking about the things theyâre going to find in the forest or when they think the first snowfall of the season will come. Ignoring how Iâm about to faint, Lutz is bragging about how much better heâs gotten at shooting his bow lately. Unlike Tory, whoâs shyly thanking everyone for their help, I can barely say a word. My heart is pounding again.
For five and six year olds to do this stuff so calmly, is this normal?! Whatâs with this world! Whatâs a humble, shy, pure girl to do? Will my heart be stained by evil?
âŠDonât you dare ask who I was calling a pure girl!