The new garrison (1) of my fatherâs military unit was quite far from the capital. In other words, there were only women who lived in our house now.
âWhat should we do, lady? Could he have followed you all the way home?â
ââŚmaybe.â
Upon hearing my answer, Julia quickly became teary and ran toward my mother.
âYou mean that wasnât the guy named Toby?â
âIâll get annoyed if you say itâs just a joke, Melissa.â
My mother didnât seem to buy it.
In the end, it was Mrs. Kerney who went outside to take a look around the house. She stopped me from following her and went out of her door, and after a while, she returned to the house with a bold step that did not match her small stature.
We gathered at the doorstep, and Julia, who was impatient, urged her.
âHow is it outside, Mrs Kerney?â
âFirst of all, there was no suspicious person.â
We breathed a sigh of relief at the same time,
To my mother, who told me to be careful of going to the city alone for the time being, I replied that I would go with Viola if I had to go to the city. My mothen hated to go out, and Mrs. Kerney and Julia were always busy.
After that, my mother nagged me to send a reply to Tobias Miller, and I endured that situation with an awkward expression as always.
For a few days since then, I stayed inside the house and refrained myself from going out. Eating Mrs. Kerneyâs special beef stew and reading my favorite books repeatedly were a great comfort in my life,
To be honest, it wasnât too hard. I thought it would be more appropriate to feel comfortable than feeling trapped. Perhaps there was a big reason why I was not the active type.
When the shock of the stalking incident faded to some extent, I went out for the first time. Violaâs mansion was just a short distance from my house, so it wasnât a huge outing.
We were sitting next to each other on the sofa in the drawing room while drinking our tea.
âOh my god, Melissa!â
Viola, who heard my story, jumped up in surprise. It was astonishing how she did not spill her tea, but her response did not deviate even an inch from my expectations.
âWhat youâre saying isâŚ..!â
âIâm not sure, so sit down, Viola.â
I made my face as calm as possible to coax Viola.
In fact, it was not that difficult because it was true that it got quite better. Itâs already been a few days since I went to the Antris coffee shop.
âMel, why are you so calm? Isnât it scary? You said he was a tall man in blackâŚ..â
ââŚ. Mr. Greg might have been mistaken. You know how crowded the city is during the weekend, right?â
But Viola acted as if she couldnât hear me at all. She put down the teacup and began to pace around in front of me.
âHis face was covered with hair. Whatâs thatâŚ. Itâs so suspiciousâŚ..â
Viola murmured anxiously. At this rate, I almost became nervous too.
I pretended to be calm once again. Isnât there a saying that what you say and what you think comes true?
âViola, Iâm begging you. Stop it and sit down. Youâre trying to make me anxious too.â
âMelissaâŚâ
Viola sat down next to me, stretching the end of her words in her characteristic husky voice. The sofa shook slightly.
âHere. Drink the tea.â
I brought the teacup on the tea table back into her hand. A moment of silence passed as we sip our teacups at the same time.
âI thought about it.â
I opened my mouth.
âI donât think so. Thereâs no reason to stalk me.â
âWhat?â
I recited it like the most rational person in the world, but the only reply was that it was absurd. The golden eyebrows of Viola were raised.
âYouâre really weird sometimes, Melissa.â
âYour eyebrows look weird now, Viola.â
When I counterattacked without losing, Viola put down the teacup again. Then she crossed her arms and shot back.
âIs there a law that states you wonât get a stalker?â
âWhatâŚâ
âStalkers donât necessarily stick to celebrities.â
Viola was more serious than ever.
âIn the first place, with the mindset of normal people, Do you think the stalker will stalk with a compelling
reason?â
âWell, they must have their own reasons.â
âSo, you think thatâs a normal reason!â
Viola, who was talking as if frustrated, continued speaking in a firm voice.
âI canât do this, Mel. Letâs write a letter to Tobias Miller right now!â
â⌠What kind of nonsense is that all of a sudden?â
In response to the unexpected reaction, I set my half cup of tea down on the table and changed my posture.
âIf he finds out you have a man, he will leave you.â
âNo⌠he might not be a stalker.â
âIt might be right, you idiot! Why the hell are you so carefree?â
Viola looked a little angry. When I shut my mouth, the harsh voice that had risen to the top turned calmly as if trying to persuade me.
âI think itâs not worth it. If he is a real stalker, he will back down the moment he sees a man.â
ââŚBut you canât take advantage of anyone.â
âHa, is this the time to act righteous? And the man must be waiting for your reply, so whatâs the problem? He was being lovestruck.â
âWriting a reply is to help that person, not to use it. Itâs okay now, right?â
The problem is that his target doesnât seem to be meâŚ.. I couldnât refute it otherwise, so I took the tea cup to my lips. Somehow, I felt frustrated.
However, it would be better to stop explaining my inferiority complex to Viola. Because I was sure my only friend would try to raise me up somehow.
So I decided not to tell the story about my encounter with Alan. He never seemed to pick up the poetry book, so I didnât have to bring it up. I had to ask for a favor that was close to an appeal. Because I would see the difficult face of the struggling Viola to soothe me.
Perhaps because it was such an unrealistic crush, wasnât particularly hurt by his attitudeâŚ..
âOkay. Iâll send him a letter.â
I answered in a calm tone. Naturally, or fortunately, the embarrassing story of me going to a coffee shop was swallowed silently.
âGood idea, Mel! I hope Toby is a good person.â Viola looked relieved and bright. Seeing that face made me feel somewhat distant. What the hell should I send a reply?
I didnât know Tobias Miller. I didnât know his age or appearance. There was still a lingering thought that he might be waiting for a reply from another woman other than me.
I wish I had confidence in myself. If only it could be, much of life would be comfortable. It was cumbersome to guess that he was mistaken for a person even after looking at the love letter with my name clearly written on it.
It was not hard to assume that he really wrote a letter to me- Melissa Collins, who was always holding her breath like air in a corner seat â because he has a unique taste.
The problem was that I naturally had a hunch that he would regret sending me a love letter after seeing me properly.
My face from a distance may have looked much nicer than when he saw it closely, and my hair may have looked golden at first glance in the light. I thought looked better from a distance.
Alan Leopold wouldnât have been so cold to me if I had been a brighter person up close.
âWhatâs wrong, Mel?â
My hand, which had only been fiddling with the tip of my sleeve, was covered with Violaâs hand, and my thoughts were over.
âDo you not know what to write?â
ââŚâŚNo.â
My sense of inferiority was so deep that it was hard to show even to my only best friend. âOh, my. Viola.â
So I decided to change the subject a little.
âYou havenât told me the story of last weekendâs Piccom trip yet. Did you like it?â
I guess it was obvious that I was trying to change the subject. Viola looked at me for a few seconds with a suspicious gaze and moved her lips.
âYes, there is. Itâs kind of bad to say this nowâŚâŚ.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou should date too, Melissa.â
Ha. I was wondering what you were saying. I was relieved and laughed like a sigh.
âNo, why on earth didnât you do it? Isnât this good?â
ââŚ..Why? Which one is that good?â
She seemed like wanting to talk, so she asked me an insinuating question. Viola turned toward me, sweeping up her bushy blonde hair.
âLast weekend at Piccom, I finally heard the oath to love you forever. He wants to live for meâŚ.â
The eyes of Viola who said so were shining like stars. Itâs a bit far-fetched, but when I lived in Korea, I never valued the word âI love youâ highly. Because it was a very common and overflowing word.
One of the things I learned while living in Sourne is that people here did not say I love youâ carelessly.
Even if they are lovers.
But would that change the value of saying I love you? In the end, itâs just a word.
Words are shapeless and are always scattered quickly I canât promise anything. I couldnât understand at all that people die or live because of a few words that have no power.
In other words, I canât easily tell what Viola feels like with a teary face in front of my eyes. No matter how close we are.
âReally? Thatâs good.â
ââŚâŚyes?â
Was my plain reaction awkward? Viola hurriedly drank the tea. Then, she spoke again excitedly, wondering if something came to mind.
âLetâs go to Piccom together next time! Itâs completely different from Florin. There are many green hills, and each ridge is full of flowers.â
âIt must be similar to heaven.â
âYou will love it too! Me and Jacob are just waiting for the leaves to turn. Letâs go before winter comes, Mel.â
Iâll introduce Jacob to you then. She added with a shy smile that did not match Viola.
âYes, Iâm looking forward to it.â
When Viola saw Jacob who came to the capital city, she fell in love at a single glance and dropped her handkerchief in front of him. It was fate that she captured him with that clumsy winkâŚ.
In any case, the great love that makes you swear to devote your whole life to it all begins with a trivial coincidence. In a way, thatâs ridiculous.
The reason why I came to love Alan was as lame as Viola and Jacob. Childish and obvious repertoire of falling in love at first sight. It was an autumn day at the age of twelve, when I secretly peeped at him over the shoulders of the adults gathered at the venue and held my breath.
Tobias would not be much different. I still donât know if Iâm really the one he cares about.
âRight, Mel!â
As I was staring into the air with these nutty thoughts, Viola suddenly grabbed my arm.
âDid you hear about Sir Alan?â
***
[1] a group of troops stationed in a fortress or town to defend it.