āHas it already been three years since I last passed through this immigration gateā¦?ā
Since graduating from high school seven years ago, Iāve only come back to Japan from America a handful of times.
Even after Iād graduated from college, I only came back to Japan to celebrate New Yearās. But these past couple years, Iāve been too busy with a film project to even go back for that annual visit.
This time, Iāve been half-forced to come back to attend the wedding of a childhood friend.
āNatsukiās been calling to constantly remind me like sheās been possessed by a demon, and Yuu and Mochita sent texts saying that theyād uncovered a video of my dark past and Iād better come and get it if I didnāt want it sent to everyoneā¦ā
Iād already been planning to attend in the first place, but they pressured me to take time off before and after the ceremony too, just in case.
I know exactly why the three of them have been so persistent about this.
Even once Iāve come back to Japan, I donāt contact anyone other than family, and havenāt ever bothered to meet up with them.
āAlthough, itād be more accurate to say that IĀ couldnātĀ meet themā¦ā
I narrowed my eyes behind my sunglasses and looked at the single Boston bag of luggage I had with me.
I rummaged inside of it as I sat in a chair in the lobby and immediately found what I was looking for.
A thick, worn-out red notebook with the words, āSakuragaoka High School Class 2-3, Aida Miou,ā written on the cover.
Each design captured a piece of the world with delicate brush work, just as neatly as the words on the cover were written.
āIt doesnāt feel like they were drawn very carefully, but justā¦ naturally.ā
No matter how many times I looked at them, strangely, I never got tired of her works. Every time I turned the pages, it felt like the very first, but at the same time, nostalgia would sweep over me.
āā¦.I wonder how sheās doing.ā
I hadnāt seen her since graduation, but I always remembered her with her gentle smile.
When I close my eyes, my memories of high school come back in vivid detail.
The memories of days where I couldnāt pull through with my own feelings, but still always gave it my all.
āā
Mochizuki Souta
Birthday: September 3
Horoscope Sign: Virgo
Blood Type: B
In the Film Club.
Sensitive, and is often teased by his friends.
He really likes Akari, butā¦.
āā
solution 1
āI have something to talk to you about. At 4:10 after school today, could you wait for me in this classroom?ā
Catching Akari just after sheād come back from switching classes, Souta had his second conversation with her.
Although, Akari hadnāt said anything in reply, so it was hard to call it an actual conversation.
Still, he was certain that she had nodded in answer to what heād said.
Even after short homeroom and clean-up had ended, there was still time before their arranged meeting.
āI thought Iād leave some time to settle down before going, but it ended up having the opposite effect.ā
He couldnāt keep still, and kept glancing up at the clock.
After talking to Akari, he hadnāt been able to focus on the lessons at all, and his heart just wouldnāt stop pounding noisily.
āAt this rate, it feels like Iāll collapse before I even get to confess to Akarinā¦.ā
Bzzt, bzzztā
āUwah?!ā
Souta jumped in his seat as the alarm heād set on his phone went off.
āC-Crapā¦ Feels like my heartās going to explodeā¦.ā
The hand he held his phone with was shaking, making it difficult to turn off the alarm.
āGet it together, Souta. Itās times like these that youāve gotta keep calmā¦.ā
Closing his eyes, he breathed in and out, over and over again.
Akariās smile, which he always saw from a distance, crossed his mind.
Up until now, it had only been one time that sheād ever smiled directly at him.
Unless he mustered up his courage, he couldnāt even hope for a chance of that happening ever again.
He patted his cheeks with hands that had gone cold from nerves.
āOkay, Iām ready.ā
Looking at the clock, he saw that hour hand was about to reach four.
It was still a little early, but he couldnāt make her wait when heād been the one to call her out.
Souta started walking and headed for Akariās class, the place for their meeting.
His heart pounded with each flight of stairs he went down, and each step he took through the halls.
By the time he was standing in front of the door, it felt almost painful.
āJust a little longer, just need to hang on for a little longer.ā
He pressed a hand to his chest and told his heart that seemed on the brink of exploding at any moment.
He glanced at his wristwatch, and saw that it was now 4:05.
āJust five more minutesā¦ā
He usually never paid it much attention, but right now, his heart was noisy with anxiety, uneasiness, anticipation, and a bunch of other emotions. It seemed that people fell in love not just with their head, but their entire bodies.
āI want to change. I want to become strong enough to tell Akarin my feelings.ā
Closing his eyes tightly, Souta said these words to himself for motivation.
He took one final deep breath, and reached out for the door.
āHere I go.ā
Sliding open the door that felt heavier than usual, he took that first step towards change.
ā„ ā„ ā„ ā„ ā„
āHaving to deal with this bright summer sun after pulling an all-nighter is tortureā¦.ā
It was bad enough that he had soccer class on Monday mornings, but this blinding sunlight and heat were too much.
The consciousness of Mochizuki Souta, who had been watching DVDs until it was nearly dawn, was always fading away.
āI knew I should have stopped after the first oneā¦. Wait, I feel like thatās what I said last time, too.ā
He knew the consequences, but he had also promised himself that once he pressed the play button, he wouldnāt move away from the TV until the movie ended, ending credits and all.
In any case, last night he had been watching the works from his favorite director, and had gotten sucked into watching several in a row.
A single love that lasts forever, they call that āunrequited love.ā
The character from the movie had said this line during a pretty depressing scene.
Although the circumstances of the character from the movie were completely different from Soutaās, for some reason, that line really struck him and remained lodged in the back of his heart.
āItās probably because of the fact that no matter who you are, love is something you just canāt ignore once youāve found itā¦.ā
He had a feeling that heād just said something pretty good.
As Souta forgot all about the heat and his fatigue and nodded in satisfaction, someone slapped the back of his head with a clean āsmackā sound.
āMochita, do your job!ā
Souta turned around, and soon heard the shout of the one whoād just given him such a clean smack on the head.
He immediately recognized the voice as Harukiās.
āYouāre only going to feel hotter if you shout like that, yāknow.ā
Only after hearing Yuu try to calm down Haruki beside him did Souta finally realize what had happened.
āCrap, I missed a goal!ā
Looking around the field, he saw that everyone was just standing around; the match had been put on hold. Seeing how the the ball had already been brought back to the center circle, it looked like itād been a while since the goal had been scored.
āAck, how long have I been spacing out forā¦.?ā
Quickly flipping the panel on the scoreboard, Souta hastily bowed in apology towards the court.
āSorry! One point goes to Team A!ā
āTook you long enough, geez! Well, I guess I canāt blame you with this heat.ā
His classmate, Mimura Masahiro, flashed him a smile.
āMahiron, youāre so niceā¦!ā
āBut it happens again, youāre taking over for my cleaning duties, got it?ā
āEhhh?! I-Iāll be more careful from now onā¦.!ā
There was a roar of laughter all around as Souta panicked.
Thanks to his classmate backing him up, the unpleasant mood had vanished.
As Souta breathed a sigh of relief, Haruki looked over at him with a sharp gaze.
āā¦.Mochita, if itās too hard on you, then say so, alright?ā
āBut I donāt think Mahiron really meant it.ā
āI donāt mean the cleaning duties. I mean if itās too hard even just standing there, just head to the infirmary.ā
āR-rightā¦.ā
Overwhelmed by Harukiās forcefulness, Souta unconsciously lowered his gaze.
He knew full when that he was only saying those things out of concern, but whenever he heard Harukiās āsensible argumentsā while he was already feeling down, it felt like he was being blamed. Was it because Haruki looked and sounded so confident in himself when he spoke?
āHarukiās right. If youāre not feeling well, weāll carry you there right now.ā
As Yuu said this jokingly with a laugh, Harukiās eyes softened a little.
āLet me know when you do. Iāll record it.ā
āWhaaat? But youāre so picky about composition and all that. Weāll have to keep redoing it until the pose meets your expectations. Iām not strong enough to keep carrying him for that long.ā
āHah! Guess Iāll be recording you being crushed from the weight, then.ā
Haruki finally laughed out loud after a mental picture of the scene formed in his head.
āThanks, Yuuā¦.ā
In an instant, the topic had changed, and the mood between the three of them had lightened up.
Yuu was good at reading what the situation was, and balancing things out between people. He was like a cushion amongst his childhood friends, which consisted of himself, Souta, Haruki, and Natsuki.
āBut thatās exactly why I canāt keep relying on him all the timeā¦ā
Souta took a deep breath and looked straight up at his two childhood friends.
āSorry for worrying you two. But honestly, Iām fine now.ā
Haruki and Yuu looked like they wanted to say something else, but Souta ignored them and went on.
āIn the first place, I already asked to switch places with scorekeeper because running around as the referee was too tiring, so I should at least do this job properly.ā
āā¦.Alright. We believe you when you say youāre fine.ā
āBut as soon as youāre not feeling okay, you have to tell us right away!ā
Nodding firmly back at the two that believed in his words, he sent them back to the playing field.
āAh, thereās a bit of a cool breeze blowingā¦.ā
āEh?! You donāt like the prince type?ā
He heard Natsukiās voice carried over by the wind.
Looking over, he saw the three of them chatting by the tennis courts. Miou and Akari were practicing swings with their rackets, but Natsuki was completely immersed in the conversation.
āWah, itās Akarin! Her smile is so bright today, tooā¦ā
Long, glossy hair that almost reached her waist, and light, fair skin. Her bright laughter and almond eyes that were always sparkling had relentlessly captured Soutaās heart.
No, it Ā wasnāt just him.
Hayasaka Akari was like the idol of Sakuragaoka.
She could be shy, but she never took a curt attitude.
With Natsuki and Miou, who sheād grown close to as classmates and fellow club members, she smiled bright like a sunflower. Another reason for her popularity was probably because she wasnāt really conscious of how pretty she was.
In addition, Akari was also a regular finalist candidate in art contests.
Perhaps because of her artistic talent, apparently she had a unique sensitivity to things, as well. All these traits could classify her as being too āmysterious,ā but there were countless guys who secretly worshipped her smile from afar.
āBut when I talked to her, I got to see her bashful face!ā
It had happened nearly half a month ago, on the day that Souta had gone to the class next door first thing in the morning to return the dictionary that heād borrowed from Natsuki.
He had bumped into Akari in front of the door, making him stop in his tracks.
It wasnāt something to brag about, but he had never spoken to her even once before then. Just at the thought of her even looking at him was always enough to make his mind go blank.
Heād been about to hurry off, but āthatā had caught his eye.
And as soon as heād noticed it, for some reason, his mouth had just opened on its ownāā
āGood morning! Um, you have a bit of a bed head.ā
As Akari reached up to touch the back of her head in surprise, Souta lifted up his own bangs to show her where.
āItāsā¦ sticking up a bitā¦. like thisā¦.ā
Most of his words trailed off towards the end. As soon as he realized who he was talking to, he couldnāt get the words out like heād planned them out in his head.
But it didnāt end there. There was an ever bigger shock waiting for him.
Akari seemed to relax once she knew where the bed head was, and her expression softened.
And then, she pressed a long, slender finger to her lips and whispered,
āDonāt tell anymore.ā
An electric current ran throughout Soutaās whole body at her embarrassed face and voice.
Feeling like he was about to make some unwanted sound, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. His reddened face went slack, and he silently muttered words that he absolutely couldnāt let Akari hear.
āThis is unreal! What is this adorable creature?! Itās Akarin, Akariiin!ā
Even remembering it now made his heart pound noisily.
Still, that was the last time heād ever talked to Akari face-to-face.
He hadnāt been able to use the opportunity to create the next one, and had wound up going back to watching her from afar.
āBut Iām sure that that was a big step for me, no mistake!ā
Looking up, he caught sight of Ayase Koyuki doing his best to chase after the ball.
They were in the same class, and he seemed like the type that was bad at sports, and definitely wasnāt one to actively participate in matches during P.E. class. But recently, he often saw him running around the field with all his might.
āKeep at it, Yukki! Itās one-sided, but somehow, watching you gives me courage.ā
Like with āAkarin,ā Souta fondly called him āYukkiā in his mind, but they werenāt actually very close or anything. Although they were in the same class, they only had the chance for direct confrontations during P.E. class or cleaning hours.
But even Soutaās had noticed Koyukiās dramatic transformation.
Around July, Koyuki had changed his appearance drastically. He had cut his hair that made him look like a girl at first glance, and switched out his glasses for contacts.
āAh, Ayase-kun? You cut your hair!ā
Passed by Koyuki in the hallway, Akari smiled at him as she said this.
Souta, had been walking right behind Akari, remembered that heād nearly crushed the milk box heād been holding when he saw this happen.
After making sure that Akari had gone, he quickly approached Koyuki.
āYou cut your hair, huh? ā¦.So, what were you talking about just now?ā
āEh? Um, you mean with Hayasaka-san? Just the same thing you told me, Mochizuki-kun. About how Iād cut my hairā¦.ā
Although he looked surprised at the sudden question, Koyuki looked straight at Souta as he answered.
Heād been so busy seething with jealousy, he hadnāt noticed it right away.
But now that he made direct eye contact with Koyuki, without his long bangs or glasses in the way, it made him catch his breath.
It made him wonder if theyād ever had the chance to talk like this before, face-to-face.
āHe hasnāt only changed his appearance, but his attitude, too.ā
The only time he ever used to hear Koyukiās voice was when he was exchanging manga with Natsuki during break hours.
But even they seemed to be having a nice chat over a common hobby, he usually only heard Natsukiās voice, and whenever Koyuki spoke, it was only to comment on something that Natsuki had said. He was soft-spoken, and not very talkative.
That was the impression that Souta had of Koyuki.
However, after changing his appearance, he would initiate greetings on his own, and even raise his hand during class. He acted like a completely different person.
He was treated like an idol by some of the girls, and Souta would often see him surrounded by them during his Gardening Club activities. Although they could see that Koyuki was clearly bothered by this treatment, apparently they just found his reactions to be āSo cute!ā
At first, Souta had been confused, thinking it was a little too late to have changed himself for his high school debut, and too early for summer vacation.
But, he soon realized the reason for his transformation.
Koyuki was in love with Natsuki, and that was why he had changed himself.
āā¦That must be why Yukki looks at Natsuki the way he does.ā
He looked at her in the warm and familiar way that you would towards friend, but there was a certain passion mixed in there as well.
Souta realized that he probably looked at Akari in the exact same way.
āThere was a poem like that inĀ 100 Poems by 100 Poets, wasnāt there? No matter how much you try to hide your feelings for someone, it shows up on your face right away.ā
Souta knew one other person that looked at someone in the same way.
He was sure that Natsuki had a crush on Yuu.
He also had a feeling that Yuu felt the same way towards Natsuki, but at the time, neither of them realized the fact that their feelings were mutual.
The two continued to have a frustrating relationship as mere childhood friends, growing neither closer together or farther apart.
Haruki and Miou often walked home together, but they didnāt seem to be dating, either.
Whenever he tried asking Haruki about it, he always just answered with something like, āWe just get along for some weird reason.ā
'As for Akarinā¦ I havenāt really heard much.ā
There had been countless courageous men who had confessed to Akari and been honorably rejected. There was even a rumor about a brave soul who had asked her, āIs there someone else you like?ā
After thinking honestly about the question, she had tilted her head to the side and answered,
āOh, I donāt really know.ā
Souta looked over at the tennis courts behind him, where he saw Akari chatting cheerfully with the others while waiting for their turn to play.
Judging from the snippets of their conversation carried over by the wind, they were talking about which manga they recommended.
Natsuki must have gotten excited then, because for a moment, her voice was the loudest.
āWait, so let me get this straight. Akari, the one that you start to have a crush on is your type?ā
'Whaā¦ Wh-wh-what good timing!ā
Thanking Natsuki reverently in his mind, he focused all of his concentration in hearing every last word.
There was a short silence, and then he heard Akariās soft voice loud and clear.
āYeah, I guess so?ā
'Ehhh?! The one that she starts to have a crush on is her type?! Thatās the hardest type to figure out the strategy forā¦.!ā
Souta immediately held his head in defeat, but realizing something, he laughed bitterly.
How could he already be so shocked when he didnāt even have the courage to confess in the first place, and couldnāt even be counted amongst the competition yet.
āHonestly, what a jokeā¦. But, my feelings for her arenāt.ā
He wasnāt going to wish for something as shameless as wanting Akari to like him back.
For now, he was fine as long as she didnāt already like someone else.
Realizing what heād just thought, Souta became crest-fallen again.
Although he couldnāt wish for something unreasonable, instead, he wished for the worst thing he could wish against another person.
He couldnāt ever have anyone knowing the things he thought.
āIām such a weaklingā¦.ā
He knew there was no point in comparing himself to someone else, but thinking about how much initiative Koyuki had, a self-scorning smile crept onto his face.
Fwee, fweeeeā!
As if to cut him off from any further thoughts, the sound of the whistle rang out.
The first match was over, and preparations for the next match were starting. Haruki and Yuu changed the numbers hanging on their shirts and lined up at the center circle so that the referee could switch out the players.
āMochita, hurry up and get over here! Todayās the day we beat Yuu once and for all!ā
āThatās my line. Haruki, Iām not going to let you make even one shot.ā
Souta waved back in response to his two childhood friends who had started their pre-match banter.
āInstead of getting caught up in these messy thoughts, I should get moving!ā
In a forced attempt to get his mind off of things, he went to join the others on the sunny field.
ā„ ā„ ā„ ā„ ā„
The two teams clashed with each other repeatedly, but with Yuu and Haruki being the main players and equally matched in strength, neither team was scoring any points.
The first half of the match had progressed without any decisive blows, and the second half was soon approaching.
āAh, he intercepted the ball again! Looks like Harukiās in good condition today too.ā
Yuu was on the offense while keeping a wide view of the opposing teamās movements, but it was clear that Harukiās unpredictable moves were frustrating him.
āAkari, hold that positionā¦.!ā
āNacchan, that was so cool!ā
It sounded like the next tennis match had started as well, and he could hear Akariās cheerful voice.
She was paired up with Natsuki for doubles, who was displaying outstanding reflexes and being excellent support for Akari.
āAkarin doesnāt look like sheās that good at sports, but she sure isnāt cutting any cornersā¦.ā
Souta was so dazzled by the effort she was showing that he ended up watching her match instead of focusing on his own.
āMochita, look up!ā
āHeeey, watch out!ā
āā¦.Huh? What?ā
Just as he was responding sluggishly to Yuu and Harukiās voices, it hit him.
āGahā¦.!ā
The moment he looked up at the sky, the ball came flying right at Soutaās face.
Pain seared through his nose, and losing his balance, he fell over on his back.
His vision was filled with stars, and tears started to form against his will.
āUgh, this is so lameā¦ā
There were roars of laughter all around him, and he could hear the voices of the girls from over at the tennis courts, too.
Now that such a commotion had started, he was sure that even Akari had noticed.
āTo think that I was so captivated by the girl I like that Iād take a ball to a faceā¦.ā
Even if he couldnāt shoot any goals, he was certain that he could have showed off with intercepting the ball, or making free kicks. Being hit in the face with the ball was nothing to be impressed about.
āItās probably punishment for wishing that the girl I like doesnāt like someone elseā¦.ā
Feeling more tears coming on, he hid his eyes with his hand.
Yuu and the others must have seen everything, as they spoke in rather cheerful voices.
āDonāt cry just from a face-block.ā
It sounded like an offensive comment, but Souta knew Harukiās real intentions. He was trying to make it sound like he was crying because of the pain from being hit with the ball.
āYeah, that was some nice play!ā
Yuu casually caught on as well, and held out his hand with words of encouragement.
Souta hesitated for a moment before deciding to take his hand.
āā¦.Thanks.ā
āDonāt mention it. Anyway, youāre actually pretty heavy. I donāt think Iāll be able to manage it on my own.ā
āHm? Manage what?ā
āā¦.Guess Iāll lend a hand then.ā
āHm? Lend a hand with what?ā
He had a bad feeling about the conversation that Yuu and Haruki were having.
He was scared to ask, but if he just went along with it, who knew what they were going to do with him.
Ignoring the all-too-familiar warning signs, Souta hesitantly asked them,
āUm, you guys.ā¦ what exactly are you talking about?ā
āCarrying you, duh.ā
The two of them answered at the exact same time, and lifted Souta up in one quick movement.
Haruki was supporting the upper half of his body, with Yuu holding up his legs, and they were making a sound to imitate something taking off.
āI-Isnāt this the poseā¦ weād always do to pretend to be airplanes when we were kids?!ā
It was a lot of fun back then, but Souta was a third-year in highschool now.
Their classmates all roared with laughter as they watched the three of them.
āOh shoot, Mochitaās being carried off!ā
āHey, I wanna try that too!ā
Souta bit down on my bottom lip at the guysā teasing.
āUgh, weāre attracting all this attentionā¦.ā
Unable to stand it, he averted his gaze, and saw that the soccer ball that had assaulted his face had rolled off towards the tennis courts.
When the ball finally stopped moving, long, slender fingers wrapped around it to pick it up.
āA-Akarinnnn?!ā
There was no way theyād make eye contact from so far away.
He knew this, but he still couldnāt help looking away.
If, by any chance, she had a disgusted look on her face, he would never recover from that.
āā¦Iām so jealous of that ballā¦.ā
His true thoughts ended up spilling from his mouth.
But before those regretful words could reach anyoneās ears, they were erased by the sound of Yuu and Harukiās footsteps.
Somewhat discouraged by this, an indescribable gloom spread in his chest.
āIām so uncoolā¦.ā
As if to allude to poor weather in the afternoon, cumulonimbus clouds were beginning to form overhead.
The stark contrast of blue and white only made his chest feel tighter.