Under Mo Laoda’s “oppressive” gaze, Yin Xiaoxiao found it difficult to finish eating the bird eggs with which Mo Laoda had returned. While he ate, Yin Xiaoxiao engaged in profound self-reflection. It was like this: Yin Xiaoxiao’s terrible problem was that, while moving from frugality to extravagance was easy, it was going to hard to become frugal after becoming accustomed to luxury! It had been ten years, only ten years! After just ten years he had actually become unaccustomed to eating bird eggs raw! Reality was such a letdown, right!
Mo Laoda was not particularly fond of eating bird eggs. Bird eggs and the like really just didn’t pique his interest, especially after all these years wandering the mountain. But, Yin Xiaoxiao had asked for bird eggs to eat, and he was obliged to reluctantly go and look for them. Unfortunately, he only found eleven or twelve of them. Looking at Yin Xiaoxiao who, after eating the eleven or twelve eggs, was collapsed on the ground, full to bursting and unable to move, Mo Laoda was dissatisfied. The Little Idiot was ten years of age, hadn’t he eaten too little? No wonder he only appeared seven or eight years old even though he was ten years old.
“Little Idiot, it’s alright this time but next time you have to eat more, understood?”
Yin Xiaoxiao rolled over a few times on the ground. “So full ah, so full.” Please, before he had definitely said that he wasn’t hungry! This Heitan was too hateful! Even after having asked him and in spite of him answering that he couldn’t eat, in spite of everything, he forced him to eat! Even worse, he didn’t like that he’d eaten so little! What he’d eaten <sup>1</sup> was a lot, alright!
Everyone knew that snakes didn’t have to eat everyday. Unfortunately, after Mo Laoda saw Yin Xiaoxiao’s small physique, he insisted on just this point. Yin Xiaoxiao’s resistance was fruitless, and later on he intensely demanded to only eat bird eggs. Thus, the next day Mo Laoda again looked for bird eggs. Yin Xiaoxiao endured and ate. The third day Mo Laoda again looked for eggs,  Yin Xiaoxiao again endured and ate. By the fourth day, Mo Laoda again again looked for eggs, and Yin Xiaoxiao couldn’t endure anymore! Not only was he painfully stuffed full until bursting everyday, he also suffering from not being used to eating raw food! The only reason why he hadn’t had diarrhea these past few days was only because the bodies of these snakes were very strong!
“I won’t eat, I won’t eat!” Yin Xiaoxiao had completely reached his limit and was rolling around in protest. “I’m so sick, I’m going to burst to death soon!”
With a dark face, Mo Laoda dragged Yin Xiaoxiao to face him, firmly restrained Yin Xiaoxiao’s still writhing body and said with some anger, “That won’t do! You have to clean your plate <sup>2</sup> !”
“I won’t! I won’t!” Even though he was pushed down and immobilized by Mo Laoda, Yin Xiaoxiao still decided that he wouldn’t compromise. He was determined that he would not become the snake who had burst to death! That would be too humiliating!
“You going to eat or not?” Mo Laoda’s voice was so low it was practically submerged.
Immediately, Yin Xiaoxiao shrank back, clearly, very scared. But three seconds later, Yin Xiaoxiao, with great effort, extended his neck and yelled, “I won’t eat! I said I won’t eat so I won’t eat!”
Mo Laoda was completely furious. This Little Idiot really was entirely unable to differentiate good from bad <sup>3</sup> ! It was completely for his own good! If he ate more then he would grow faster. Otherwise, if the Little Idiot was like this, wouldn’t every snake bully him?! Perhaps even the least toxic Lu snake would dare to bite him!
“Yin Xiaoxiao! You dare be disobedient!”
"
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But to tell the truth, if Yin Xiaoxiao wouldn’t eat there was nothing Mo Laoda could do about it. In any case, he could hardly stuff food <sup>4</sup> into Yin Xiaoxiao’s mouth, thus Mo Laoda’s attempts to intimidate Yin Xiaoxiao.
so Mo Laoda was trying to scare Yin Xiaoxiao. Mo Laoda hated being so angry. If this were another snake, such as a Yin <sup>5</sup> snake, Hong <sup>6</sup> snake, Lan <sup>7</sup> snake or whatever, even a Mo <sup>8</sup> snake, Mo Laoda would have bitten that snake to death! But the snake under him wasn’t any other snake! What? You ask why this snake under him wasn’t any other snake? How should I know?!  Anyway, he just wasn’t any other snake! Mo Laoda really couldn’t do anything about the snake under him, so he settled for nibbling on Yin Xiaoxiao’s face a few times to dissolve the resentment in his heart.When he saw that Yin Xiaoxiao’s face was now entirely covered in his saliva, Mo Laoda’s mood, for some reason he couldn’t make heads or tails of, improved, and he released Yin Xiaoxiao.
Even before Mo Laoda completely removed himself from Yin Xiaoxiao’s body, Yin Xiaoxiao began to utter “ouch, ouch”.
“I already released you. What are you “ouch”ing about?” asked Mo Laoda, not happy.
“My
my belly hurts.” Yin Xiaoxiao began to roll around all over the ground. This time it wasn’t because he didn’t want to eat bird eggs but because he had a bellyache.
How could his belly not hurt? He ate without waiting to digest, then ate without stopping, then continued to eat for three days until he was full to bursting. Then, just a moment ago, he rolled all over in some high-intensity exercise. And then he was crushed underneath Mo Laoda’s body, which was twice as heavy as his own. If Yin Xiaoxiao’s belly didn’t ache, even God wouldn’t stand idly by and watch <sup>9</sup> .
As soon as he heard that Yin Xiaoxiao’s belly hurt, an anxious Mo Laoda rushed to restrain Yin Xiaoxiao, who was rolling around. “What happened? Why did your belly suddenly start to hurt?”
Aching, Yin Xiaoxiao raised his head with difficulty to look at Mo Laoda. With grief in his eyes, he shouted, “Wasn’t it because of you?! I ate until full to bursting!”
Mo Laoda also believed that it was like this, and he blamed himself for being too impatient. He was immediately, endlessly remorseful. “It won’t happen again, Xiaoxiao. Is it terribly painful?”
Yin Xiaoxiao saw that Mo Laoda had an exceptionally anxious expression on his face. The grievances of these lonely days suddenly burst out. This Heitan was always bullying him. Yin Xiaoxiao loudly cried, “You’re a bastard! I said that I couldn’t eat anymore and you still forced me to eat! I don’t like to eat raw eggs! I don’t like to eat uncooked food! You’re still calling me Little Idiot! I’m not a little idiot!”
Mo Laoda, this is called regret. After Yin Xiaoxiao cried, Mo Laoda naturally asked what they were. Yin Xiaoxiao said that they were tears. It was then that Mo Laoda knew that he couldn’t bear to see Yin Xiaoxiao crying. Now he again saw Yin Xiaoxiao crying. Mo Laoda regretted this. How could he have forced Xiaoxiao to eat so much?
“Is massage alright? It’ll stop hurting if it’s rubbed.” Mo Laoda stretched his head towards Yin XIaoxiao’s belly then used his head to lighty massage Yin Xiaoxiao’s belly.
Being massaged like this, Yin Xiaoxiao felt much better. His original wailing gave way to sobbing. Still aggrieved, he muttered, “Your head’s too cold.”
Mo Laoda’s head stiffened for a moment, then he continued massaging his belly.
Yin Xiaoxiao’s stomach felt much better, but he was also tired from crying. He rested his head on Mo Laoda’s body and fell asleep. Tears were still pooled in the corners of his eyes. Poor Mo Laoda. Seeing that Yin Xiaoxiao had fallen asleep, he of course wanted to let up massaging his belly, wind around Yin Xiaoxiao and then fall asleep. Unfortunately, everytime he stopped and pulled away from Yin Xiaoxiao’s belly, Yin Xiaoxiao would appear to awaken as though to say “don’t stop, continue” God horses <sup>10</sup> . And so that night, Mo Laoda didn’t sleep so he could continue to massage Yin Xiaoxiao’s belly.
Early the next morning, Yin Xiaoxiao was what could be called refreshed, in contrast to Mo Laoda who was yawning incessantly. In Mo Laoda’s life, had he ever encountered this kind of situation? In the past, Mo Laoda had always slept the most in the evening. But, I fear that in the future, Mo Laoda will discover that, no matter whether it was day or night, the whole of the sky and earth were inferior to the Little Idiot.
Yin Xiaoxiao felt some rare guilt about Mo Laoda. Knowing that he was the reason Mo Laoda was now yawning incessantly, Yin Xiaoxiao kindly said to Mo Laoda, “Heitan, how about you take a nap?”
Mo Laoda goggled. “Nap? You want a strong, mighty, handsome and charming Mo snake like me to take a nap? Dear God! This is simply an insult to me!”
Yin Xiaoxiao: “
”
Yin Xiaoxiao refused to talk to Mo Laoda again. Heitan really was black charcoal <sup>11</sup> ! All that came out of his mouth were black words <sup>12</sup> ! What was wrong with Mo snakes? Who said that Mo snakes couldn’t nap? And strong, mighty, handsome and charming, he was actually nothing more than black charcoal through and through!
Mo Laoda saw Yin Xiaoxiao was indeed ignoring him and he immediately moved over to face Yin Xiaoxiao, pulling a smile onto his face. “Little Idiot, I’m worried that after I fall asleep, you won’t be able to endure the loneliness. I’m doing this for you.”
The corner of Yin Xiaoxiao’s mouth twitched. Unable to endure the loneliness were the words being used? Looking at Mo Laoda’s “I’m doing this for you so praise me” face in front of him, Yin Xiaoxiao again turned his head. As expected, this Heitan really was too terribly shameless!
Seeing that Yin Xiaoxiao once again refused to acknowledge him, Mo Laoda tactfully changed the subject, “Little Idiot, it’s not good if you eat bird eggs all the time. That kind of thing is usually regarded as snacks. They shouldn’t be eaten in place of a meal otherwise later you will definitely be undernourished. What else do you like to eat? Next time I’ll get some for you, okay?”
Yin Xiaoxiao “ah?”ed . What Mo Laoda said was actually correct. Even though he’d eaten until he was more than full everyday these past few days, on the whole he felt that his body had become weaker. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t eaten anything else. Even though in the recent past he had always eaten cooked food, if it was raw food he certainly wouldn’t have been able to stand it. Yin Xiaoxiao hesitated. Could he tell Heitan about this? With this thought in mind, Yin Xiaoxiao probingly asked, “Heitan, I’ve stayed here already for several days. I think it’s time for me to leave.”
At Yin Xiaoxiao’s words, an unpleasant and fierce expression quickly overcame Mo Laoda’s originally very delighted mood. “What? You’re going to leave? Did I say you have to leave? I wasn’t going to throw you out because of dislike, Little Idiot, and you still dare to turn away from me out of dislike? Going to leave? No way <sup>13</sup> !”
Frightened, Yin Xiaoxiao retreated several paces. ‘Please! I was only saying that I was going to leave. When did I say that I was avoiding you out of dislike? No way? Then there’s a window?’ Naturally, Yin Xiaoxiao could only think this. Yin Xiaoxiao looked at Mo Laoda in front of him. Just because he’d said that he was going to leave, his expression became so unpleasant and fierce and he’d shouted himself hoarse. Suddenly, he felt that staying together with this Heitan for a lifetime would be pretty nice – but of course, this thought flashed by so quickly that Yin Xiaoxiao forgot about it between breaths.
“Okay, okay, so I said that. Why on earth are you so excited?” Yin Xiaoxiao comforted Mo Laoda, “But Heitan, I have many eccentricities. Are you sure that you’ll be able to bear me?”
Slowly, Mo Laoda’s unpleasant and fierce facial expression faded, his head full of questions. “Eccentricities? What eccentricities?”
“There’s a lot.” Yin Xiaoxiao thought a bit and immediately felt embarrassed. “For example, I bath at least every other day. For example, I can’t sunbathe in the noon sun. For example, I won’t eat rats and will only eat birds, bird eggs and frogs. For example, if I eat birds, bird eggs and frogs, then I also want to eat them cooked.”
Bath, okay. Cannot sunbath, okay. Won’t eat rats, okay. Only eat birds, bird eggs and frogs, okay. All this Mo Laoda could understand. But that last one, eat them cooked? Mo Laoda suddenly recalled that when Yin Xiaoxiao complained last night, it seemed as though he’d demanded cooked bird eggs. “Cooked? What do you mean?”
Yin Xiaoxiao hesitated for a moment. “It’-we make a fire, then put the food in the fire, wait until it’s cooked and then eat it.”
“Make fire? You’re saying you know how to make fire?”
Yin Xiaoxiao hesitated again, then nodded.
Mo Laoda was silent for a while. Finally, he said, amidst Yin Xiaoxiao’s apprehension, “All of this is nothing, so teach me to make fire so that we can eat cooked food later.”
Actually Mo Laoda’s silence was not because Yin Xiaoxiao could make fire, but rather because this Little Idiot was actually going to teach him, this strong, mighty, handsome and charming Mo snake, how to make fire. He’d really lost snake face <sup>14</sup> !
In his heart, Yin Xiaoxiao secretly sighed with relief and he felt a sweetness grow in his heart. But he also didn’t think much about it and only went to teach Mo Laoda how to make a fire.
Later, Mo Laoda left the cave to look for and return with the things Yin Xiaoxiao said were essential to light a fire. He followed Yin Xiaoxiao’s instructions and, on his own, succeeded in his assigned duty of making a fire, which made Yin Xiaoxiao very excited! Mo Laoda’s speed really was very, undeniably  awesome <sup>15</sup> ! Originally, starting the fire required two snakes to hold the thin branch and rub it to create friction, but Mo Laoda wound his tail in two loops around the twig and was able to turn it on his own! And his speed was faster than his Pop and Dad’s speed!
Seeing the adoration twinkling in Yin Xiaoxiao’s eyes, Mo Laoda smiled, pleased with himself. Mmhmm, he really was a strong, mighty, handsome and charming Mo snake!
T/N:
Footnotes
<ol>added for clarity 搃慉: means to eat one’s entire meal äžçŸ„ć„œæ­č: idiom which means that he can’t understand that another is doing him a kindness added for clarity silver red blue ink è€ć€©çˆ·éƒœçœ‹äžèż‡ćŽ»: means that even it would be impossible for YXX to not have a stomachache 焞驏的: being used seeming as shorthand for the complaint that one can’t have nice things 黑炭: Heitan means black charcoal é»‘èŻ: literally black words; means malicious words, and words and phrases that can be used in reference to other things æČĄé—š: literally means ‘no door’, but means ‘no way’ or ‘impossible’ losing face is usually äžąäșș, but here it’s written äžąè›‡, because, you know, he’s a snake not a homo sapien 牛揉äș†: 牛 by itself means awesome in this context. Adding a 揉 after it can either mean that 1. The praise is sincere, ie. the most awesomely awesome or 2. The praise is sarcastic. 牛揉äș† is also written 牛X on the internet</ol>