Chapter 38

Yin Xiaoxiao woke from his dream in a daze. He suddenly discovered two red lanterns before him, scaring him into retreating several paces and, just like that, the rest of his sleepiness was scared away. With great difficulty, he calmed down. By what little light there was inside of the cave, he could clearly see that the two red lanterns were actually the eyes of the Mo snake. From the eyes of the Mo snake, Yin Xiaoxiao located the entirety of the Mo snake’s body.

‘Hey, I say! You, Heitan, are already dark enough but you still had to find such a dark cave in which to sleep! I almost couldn’t see you clearly at all!’ Of course, Yin Xiaoxiao only dared to think these words and absolutely would not speak them.

At present, Mo Laoda did not feel very happy. ‘How come, when this Little Idiot clearly saw me, he appeared to jump with fright? Am I that scary of an individual? I’m obviously very handsome and very charming, okay?’ Mo Laoda scanned himself but didn’t find any traces of scars on his body. He nodded, quite satisfied. ‘Very good. I’m still so very handsome, so very charming. There absolutely hasn’t been any change there whatsoever.’

“Little Idiot, do you remember who I am?” Mo Laoda slithered over to Yin Xiaoxiao. Yin Xiaoxiao even felt Mo Laoda’s body touch his own. Yin Xiaoxiao recoiled. ‘If I say that I remember, this Heitan shouldn’t want to strangle me like he would prey.’

“Na…naturally I remember.” Yin Xiaoxiao had really remembered from the dream he’d dreamt last night! ‘This entirely self-absorbed snake before me, he was from that time I’d run into that Mo snake before I’d turned one year old! This arrogant expression still hadn’t changed even in ten years!’ As for his currently stuttering voice…that wasn’t too difficult to understand. Afterall, his young life was in the other party’s hands.

“Oh? Then, Little Idiot, tell me. Who am I?”

Yin Xiaoxiao felt the other’s body slightly  pull away from him and his heart relaxed a little. Like that, he said, “Heitan! You’re that Mo snake I ran into ten years ago!”

Mo Laoda: “…”

After Yin Xiaoxiao finished speaking this sentence, he felt Mo Laoda approach him, even closer this time. His formerly relaxed heart rose again ¹ . ‘Hadn’t I already said that you’re Heitan?! What else do you want?!’

“Little Idiot, then what’s my name? I definitely told you my name!”

“…” This one Yin Xiaoxiao really didn’t remember. Please! They both met only once ten years ago, nothing more! He could remember calling him Heitan, and even that wasn’t very easy, okay! “This-this is not fair! Do you know my name? If you forgot what I’m called, why should I remember what you’re called?!”

“Yin Xiaoxiao. You, Little Idiot, are called Yin Xiaoxiao, am I right?”

“…” Yin Xiaoxiao was sad and angered. ‘Da-ge, I’ll call you da-ge, okay?! Do you really have such a good memory that you can remember the name of a snake that you only met once in ten years?!’

“Little Idiot, what’s my name?” Mo Laoda whispered into Yin Xiaoxiao’s ear.

Yin Xiaoxiao felt Heitan wind  closer and closer around him. ‘Does he really want to strangle me?’ While his life hung in the balance, Yin Xiaoxiao began to rack his brains to finally recall Heitan’s real name. Looking at Heitan’s coloration he was definitely a Mo. “I-I of course know what your name is! You’re called…Mo…Mo…”

“Yeah? Mo what?”

Because of Boss Mo ² , Yin Xiaoxiao was becoming annoyed. Sure enough it wasn’t only man, but also snakes, who, in times of desperation, were struck by sudden inspiration. Yin Xiaoxiao remembered that he was called, “…Laoda! Mo Laoda!”

Mo Laoda slowly released Yin Xiaoxiao from his tight embrace. Hmph hmph, fortunately this Little Idiot remembered what he was called, otherwise he didn’t know what he would have done!

Mo Laoda released Yin Xiaoxiao and appeared to be slithering to the cave entrance. Yin Xiaoxiao hesitated for a moment then followed Mo Laoda.

It looked as though it must already be afternoon. The hottest part of the day had already passed.

“Little Idiot, you can really sleep. You obviously slept all day yesterday, and could even still sleep from yesterday evening through to afternoon today. I didn’t get to bask in any sun today as a result!”

Yin Xiaoxiao looked as though he hadn’t heard Mo Laoda. ‘What does it matter to you how long I sleep? And it wasn’t I who forced you to keep me company while I slept! If you wanted to bask in the sun, then you should have come out to bask! I also didn’t prevent you!’

“…Little Idiot, I’m talking to you. Are you listening?” Mo Laoda again approached Yin Xiaoxiao and pasted himself to Yin Xiaoxiao’s body.

“Ah? What?” Yin Xiaoxiao returned, dryly ³ . What had Heitan said when he had slipped away ⁴ ?

“I said I want to go and catch prey. What do you want to eat?”

“No, no need. I’m not hungry.”

Mo Laoda retreated to a safe distance. Seeing Yin Xiaoxiao’s facial expression loosened immediately after hearing that he was going to leave, his mood really couldn’t be said to be good. “You obediently stay in the cave. If I return and don’t see you…do you think that I won’t be able to find you?”

Yin Xiaoxiao trembled and immediately donned his most sincere smile. “Why would I, why would I? By the time you return, I definitely will still be here! I promise!”

Mo Laoda stared at Yin Xiaoxiao for a moment then nodded his head. “Good. I believe you. Only, before I go….” Mo Laoda again slithered several paces forward, stopping only ten centimeters ⁵ away from Yin Xiaoxiao’s face.

“What?” Yin Xiaoxiao unconsciously asked after he didn’t hear Mo Laoda continue to speak.

Mo Laoda abruptly said, “Little Idiot, open your mouth.”

Yin Xiaoxiao looked suspieciously at Mo Laoda, but didn’t make out anything on Mo Laoda’s face. Without any better option, he obeyed Mo Laoda and obediently opened his mouth.

Seeing how Yin Xiaoxiao cooperated with him, Mo Laoda felt very happy. He extended his tongue ⁶ and hooked Yin Xiaoxiao’s tongue from his mouth, coiling around Yin Xiaoxiao’s tongue a few times. Satisfied, Mo Laoda slithered out of the cave to find food.

Petrified, Yin Xiaoxiao was left standing in the same place, mouth open and tongue extended…

Yin Xiaoxiao, who was, with great difficulty, revived with a gust of wind, became distraught.  He had been molested, right?! He had, right?! Right! A very serious type of molestation by a snake! He’d actually been frenched! That was a french kiss not snake kiss, bastard!

Yin Xiaoxiao’s appearance was like that of a flower withering and falling away.

Mo Laoda returned very quickly. He also returned with a dead rat to gift to Yin Xiaoxiao. From now on, he would take responsibility to care for Yin Xiaoxiao! Mo Laoda swore in his mind, ‘If I don’t look after the Little Idiot, he would definitely be bullied! A good snake like me wouldn’t look on unfeelingly as Little Idiot is bullied by snakes!’ And yet, Mo Laoda didn’t think at all about why he cared to such a great extent about Yin Xiaoxiao.

Mo Laoda dragged the dead rat into the cave and searched for a while before finding Yin Xiaoxiao nestled in a corner. What? You’re asking why Mo Laoda was so certain that Yin Xiaoxiao wouldn’t flee? ‘Hmph hmph,’ Mo Laoda snorted twice heavily, ‘I already told the Little Idiot not to leave, don’t tell me that you thought he would leave?’

“Hey, Little Idiot, what are you doing?” Mo Laoda tossed the dead rat to the side and moved closer to Yin Xiaoxiao.

Yin Xiaoxiao stiffened suddenly and shrunk even further into the corner.

Mo Laoda pretended not to see Yin Xiaoxiao’s actions. “I brought you back food. Quickly go eat.”

Yin Xiaoxiao didn’t move.

“I say Little Idiot, why are you being difficult again?” Mo Laoda was impatient, his heart was restless with anxiety. What was going on with this Little Idiot?

Yin Xiaoxiao very slowly turned his head and, with large watery eyes, stared at Mo Laoda for quite a while before turning back.

Even though the cave was very dark, with Mo Laoda’s good eyesight, he could still clearly see Yin Xiaoxiao’s two streaming eyes.

At this time, Mo Laoda didn’t know that what was flowing from Yin Xiaoxiao’s eyes were tears. However Mo Laoda did feel wholly uncomfortable, very guilty and very ashamed at seeing Yin Xiaoxiao crying. When he spoke this time, he was even stuttering. “Little Idiot…Xiaoxiao, what happened to you?”

Yin Xiaoxiao stirred. Perhaps hearing Mo Laoda calling him ‘Xiaoxiao’ and not ‘Little Idiot’ felt strange.

“Then, then is it that you don’t like me calling you Little Idiot? From now on I won’t call you that, okay?”

Yin Xiaoxiao finally turned his whole body. Two large eyes, brimming with tears, stared at Mo Laoda. His voice was somewhat hoarse from crying too much, “You-you bullied me!”

“Yes, yes, yes, I bullied you, I bullied you.” At the moment, Mo Laoda would be whatever Yin Xiaoxiao said he was.

Yin Xiaoxiao, sobbing intermittently, said, “You, why did you kiss me? Even, even french kiss!”

“Only-only this?” Mo Laoda didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He’d been under the impression it was something else.

“What did you think it was?!” Yin Xiaoxiao glared with large eyes. Hadn’t that Heitan admitted his wrongdoing very earnestly only a moment ago? Why did he now have this tone of voice again?

“I brought you back food. You should eat.” Mo Laoda took the dead rat and placed it in front of Yin Xiaoxiao, then indicated that Yin Xiaoxiao should take and eat the dead rat.

Yin Xiaoxiao was so angry that he was trembling from head to foot. This Heitan was really too repulsive. “I won’t eat.”

“Little Idiot, I caught this specifically for you. Quickly eat!”

Just a moment ago he had said that he wouldn’t call him ‘Little Idiot’. It hadn’t even been three minutes and he was already reneging on what he’d said, which was what’s the matter ⁷ !  Yin Xiaoxiao was angry. “I already said that I won’t eat!”

Mo Laoda narrowed his eyes. The Little Idiot actually was acting angry. “You eating or not?”

Yin Xiaoxiao heard the threat in Mo Laoda’s tone. Yin Xiaoxiao trembled, recalling that Heitan, these goods ⁸ , was a Mo snake! A Mo snake which Dad and Pop made him stay away from! But he couldn’t stay away from this Mo snake now, so he could only obey. “I-I don’t like to eat rat! I-I want to eat bird eggs!”

Bird eggs? Mo Laoda hesitated for a moment then said, “You wait in the cave. I’ll get bird eggs for you.”

At Mo Laoda’s sentence “I’ll get bird eggs for you”, what was left of Yin Xiaoxiao’s brain wanted to cry but lacked tears ⁹ . After already eating cooked foods for ten years he again had to eat raw bird eggs? What kind of abuse was this? How was it that, as soon as he’d escaped Lan Yiyi, he’d returned to the pre-liberation period ¹⁰ ! Could it be that he’d made a mistake by leaving Lan Yiyi? Was heaven punishing him?

Xiaoxiao, have you considered that, even if you hadn’t met Mo Laoda, you still couldn’t start a fire on your own?! Could it be that you forgot this problem?

T/N:

Footnotes

<ol>心提了起来: describes the sensation of one’s heart entering one’s throat. Like that sensation of going on a roller coaster where one’s stomach lurches upward the raw literally has 墨老大 or Mo Laoda written, but this could also be read as ‘boss’; I’m translating it as Boss Mo instead of Mo Laoda because YXX is still trying to remember MLD’s name at this point 干巴巴: while it means lacking water, it can also be used to describe something dull and monotonous. It can also be used to describe poetry that’s not graceful and vivid 溜号: besides meaning ‘to slip away’ as in ‘sneak off’, in dialect, it refers to inattentiveness about four inches 蛇信: literally ‘snake letter’; since a snake’s tongue is a main way for it to gather information, it’s called snake letter or ‘信’, where 信 means letter, word, information, truth, etc. 闹哪样: an idiom from the south that was made mainstream. Used to express questioning, confusion, skepticism, indignation. Seems to be a little like WTF 这货: slang for guy 欲哭无泪: an idiom meaning that he experienced great distress 朝回到解 放前: an internet phrase that means that one’s hard work has all been undone</ol>