I sat on the edge of the bed with my eyes closed. Fear, being at a loss, helpless, death, these words which are classified as negative terms in the dictionary are like malevolent monsters, wanting to devour me with their claws and sharp teeth.
I have no idea how long I was sitting there blankly for. After an earth-shattering fear, I unexpectedly began to calm down. It's no big deal, the most would be for me to get injections and take medication, if not I would just go to that better place and use decades to wait for Jiang Chen's arrival.
In the midst of silence came a cracking sound from opening the door, "Doctor Jiang's girlfriend, where did you go? I couldn't find you anywhere."
I opened my eyes, she was the nurse that got fooled by me and Doctor Su earlier on. She was already in front of me, waving her hand before me, "Are you alright? Why do you look so pale?"
I shook my head, "Why were you looking for me?"
She stuttered, "To… to change room for you."
"Why do I have to change rooms?" I asked puzzled.
She stuttered even more now, "Uh… I also don't know… Doctor Jiang… said to change."
I didn't want to make things difficult for her, so I nodded and agreed, "Let's go."
She led me through a long corridor while peeking at me with a weird expression throughout. I wanted to ask her for a few times but I didn't. I guess I needed Jiang Cheng to tell me, needed him to tell me, I need him.
I'm very selfish. I'm not like those brave female leads whom upon hearing that they have gotten ill, they would find some excuses to break up and escape somewhere to get treatment. I want to live my life with Jiang Chen. I need him to face everything with me, and I believe he can face everything with me. If he can't, then I won't.
The nurse led me to the last door of the corridor, the door was closed, and she didn't open the door. She only gave the door a few knocks and pushed me to the front, "Go in."
I opened the door confused. Jiang Chen was standing in between two beds, holding onto a big cardboard box. His posture was a little like an assassin in a period drama who was presenting a head to the emperor.
I didn't move, Jiang Chen was looking at me with his gentle looking eyes, "Chen Xiaoxi."
"Mm?" I choked out, I only wanted to run to him now and cry.
He smiled a deep dimple, "Will you marry me?"
I blinked, and tears fell. I didn't expect him to propose, because according to my limited general knowledge, no one will hug a cardboard box to propose. Even if there is, the cardboard box won't have the words 'single-use syringe'.
I don't even know what reaction to give to such a casual proposal, but my tears were smarter than me and they kept flowing.
"They said you were crying because I didn't propose." He said while holding onto the box.
I wiped my tears away, "Who said?"
"By the woman's rights supporters whose leader is Doctor Su."
"But I'm sick," I said.
He frowned, "So? Don't digress, lets settle this proposal first."
"What if I die?" I asked softly, "It's easy to die from sickness."
"Stop spouting nonsense!" He suddenly said with increased volume, I backed away a few steps from shock.
Jiang Chen heaved a long sigh and placed the box on the bed. He stood straight in front of me then bent his back to look straight into my eyes, "Even if that's the case, it doesn't matter. We found something that many people could not find - love."
I pushed away his face that was so near, "Since when are you so good in saying these things?"
He laughed and hold onto my hands, "They taught me that you have to say such things while proposing."
I continued wiping away my tears, "But I'm scared."
"There's me, what's there to be scared of?" Jiang Chen pulled away the arm I was using to rub my eyes, "Alright, if you continue rubbing, your eyeballs will be rubbed off."
Between me and Jiang Chen, it's as though there is a belief in us. He said that there isn't anything to be afraid of, and I will feel like there really isn't anything to be afraid of. It was just that I imagined a little on what he said and thought that if my eye balls were rubbed out then it would be really scary.
He held onto both my hands with one hand and checked the watch on the other, "Can you say yes quickly because I have a surgery later."
My problem of not being able to be hastened I believe is not of new news to you. So, the moment he rushed me, I nodded my head and said, "Oh okay, you should quickly take out the ring."
He turned back to carry the 'single-use syringe' box before me. He said, "Open it."
I hesitated and said, "If you didn't buy the ring then forget it, don't use needle to shape it into a ring for me, I don't appreciate this kind of gory romance."
He glared at me, I obediently tore off the tape on the cardboard box.
The moment the box opened, three milky white palm (hand) shaped balloons floated up slowly. Every balloon is about the size of a brain, all of which had 5 fingers sticking out. It looked as weird as it seems. The long string that was attached to it came with a piece of paper that was rolled up and a ring.
I was a little taken aback. The balloons hit the ceiling and stopped. All that was left is the string that was tied to the paper and ring, swaying between me and Jiang Chen.
Although my heart really wanted to remove that ring first, I didn't want to make it seem like I was too materialistic, so I removed the paper first.
I opened to see but it was just pages of medical prescription list. I flipped over, but it was blank. I looked at Jiang Chen not understanding, "It's blank?"
He said, "If not?"
I'm angry, "If you didn't write anything why did you tie it up?"
"To maintain balance, if not the balloons will float up too quickly," he laughed, with a look of a successful prank.
Afterwards, Jiang Chen removed the ring and put it on my finger. It was a simple, wavy platinum ring, with three small diamonds in the middle.
After wearing the ring, I looked at him, he looked at me, and I suddenly felt shy, therefore, I gave him a push and said, "Don't you have surgery?"
He shook his head, "I lied to you, you couldn't be rushed."
"Oh." I looked down and played with the ring on my left hand's ring finger, apparently there's a nerve there that connects straight to the heart, "When did you prepare all these?"
"This morning," he pulled me to the bed for a rest, and kept me in his embrace, "I'm so tired from it, having to buy a ring and to make things romantic."
I swallowed my urged to say "You call this romantic?", and pointed to the three odd-shaped balloons on the ceiling, "Where did you get these balloons?"
Actually, I wanted to ask, "Where did you get such ugly balloons?" But because I'm currently ill, I have to gather more good karma, so I omitted a few decorative vocabularies. I guess he if could find such an ugly balloon in this world that is filled with beautiful things, then it is also very remarkable.
Jiang Chen said, "Where do I have the time to buy balloons? I had a meeting in the morning followed by outpatient consultation, I could only squeeze in some time in the afternoon to go out to get the ring. Just nice I saw Nurse Lee on the way back, she's the one who brought you here. She kept insisting that every girl looks forward to a romantic proposal. I thought for half a day, I could only think of taking a few gloves and injected helium in them."
I listened to him and thought, oh, what convenience. Only after a few seconds did I realized oh my god, what is 'injected harmful air in them?" (T/N: helium, aka 氦气 (hai qi) in Chinese, sounds exactly like harmful air, aka 害气 (hai qi))
So I asked him, "What kind of air is harmful air? Why didn't you use non-harmful air? Also, how did the balloons float?"
He seemed really speechless (T/N: same me too). "Chen Xiaoxi were you sleeping through the entire chemistry lesson in high school? Helium is a type of noble gas that is less dense than the air in the atmosphere." He said and held onto my palm and drew and said, "the top is the word 气 from 空气 (air). At the bottom is 亥 from 辛亥革命. Not the 害 from 害怕 (scared)."
After his explanation the more I felt oh my god, what is "injected helium in them?" Helium sounds so powerful…
I looked at the three fat palms on the ceiling, "Student Jiang Chen, can you not use such a cold tone to introduce such an extraordinary gas? Furthermore, where did you find helium gas?"
"The hospital's MRI facilities require helium." He said.
I "oh" and am not going to continue asking. Because I once said before, when our conversation becomes professional, I don't understand.
Jiang Cheng yawned and said, "I'll sleep for a while, wake me up at 2PM to work."
The afternoon sunlight shone through the blinds, onto his face. The dried tears on my face was making it a little itchy, so I buried my face into his arms and rubbed twice. He shifted his body and circled me tightly in his arms, "Stop it, I already fell asleep."
Of course, he didn't "fell asleep". Of course, I had many questions to ask him, but I chose to respect his decision and coop up in his arms silently, because I wasn't sure how many more chances I have to listen to him obediently.
I soon fell asleep, and soon after I was woken up by Jiang Chen. His face was enlarged a lot because he was so close, I could even see the '川' shape between his brows and the little hairs there. (T/N: the lines between his eyebrows.)
"What did you dream of? Are you in pain? Why are you crying?" He asked.
"Nothing," I said and realized my voice was very hoarse. I reached for my face and found out that there were tears, so I found some excuse and said, "I dreamt of the proposal."
I really don't remember what I dreamt of, all I know was I was choked with sorrow to the point that I couldn't speak.
Jiang Chen sighed and wiped my tears, "Why didn't I find out in the past that you are such a crybaby? You cried when I didn't propose, you cried when I proposed. What do you want?"
I don't want anything, I just want to be healthy, to accompany him 'til he no longer has a handsome look.