I am very scared of Jiang Chen getting angry. In fact, I'm afraid of anyone who is angry at me, but Jiang Chen isn't just anyone. I'm scared of him more than anyone, or should I say, no one makes me as flustered as he does when he gets mad. That is because I often have no idea when he's angry, and if I have no idea whether he is angry, how do I know whether I should be scared or not? So, I get scared of no knowing whether I should be afraid or notā¦. Seeing that I am already spouting nonsense like this, I guess you somehow will understand.
Therefore, I secretly observed Jiang Chen the entire ride. The more I see, the more I feel that he is angry. As for the reason, I have no idea. Honestly, I didn't see any spider's thread and horse track*, but if I say that he is angry, then he is angry, if not, you can bite me. (T/N: lit. translation, it means like traces/hints/clues.)
I reached out to tug his shirt's cuff, my finger even stroked his arm twice, "I am hungry."
He glanced at me sideways, "Mmm."
"Mmm what?" I flirtatiously stroked his arm with my finger once more, "Bring me to eat something niceā¦"
He shook his arm to cast off my hand, "Driving, stop it."
I pouted and obediently sat back on my seat.
After 10 seconds, I said, "Would it be good if I get myself a driving's license?"
"Not good."
"Why?"
"You can't afford a car."
"I think I can afford a Chery QQ."
"You will definitely hit someone if you drive, it will add burden to the medical transportation services."
Excuse meā¦. Isn't this curse a bit too evil?
I could only change topic, "Then do you think it's good if I perm my hair?"
He took a glance at the rear-view mirror, "Not good."
"Why?"
He leaned to look at me, "Ugly."
Endure.
I gave an obsequious smile, "Would it be good if I cut my hair short then?"
"Not good."
I protested, "Didn't you say you like me in short hair in the past! You even said I looked very refreshing and natural!"
He turned his head and looked as though he was seriously sizing me up, then he said, "Did I? I probably said it without thinking it through."
That's it, I completely gave up on engaging in a friendly conversation with him.
Hence, I roared at him in an exceptionally imposing manner, "JIANG! CHEN!"
"Hmm?" He remained calm and collected, and didn't even look here.
I clenched my teeth, with ample guts I told him, "I will still find you at the hospital to eat together tomorrow!"
He startled a little, "You don't have to."
I was startled too, I didn't think that even after backing down to this level, he can still put on airs.
Jiang Chen suddenly smiled, "I am on leave tomorrow."
I made an "oh" sound and said, "Then I will go the day after tomorrow."
He repeated another time, "I am on leave tomorrow."
I looked at him strangely, something tells me that he seems to be waiting for me to say something, however, my IQ is not enough, so I could only ask honestly, "So what if you are on leave?"
He didn't answer me question, he only emphasized that, "I am rarely on leave."
I have no other choice, so I could only show that I am as elated as he is, and said while beaming, "It's good that you are on leave, that's very rare, congratulations!"
He got annoyed, and glared at me for a few times, till I was so guilty. I was thinking, does he want me to celebrate for him by fasting* three days, to bathe and change clothes*? (T/N: This actually implies more on when ancient Chinese are preparing to offer sacrifice and pray to ancestor/God, they are required to fast (as in abstain from wine/meat) and make sure that they are clean before proceeding with the prayers.)
He continued cruising slowly, and he went back to what seems to be an angry composure. I feel that I managed to make him happy with great difficulty, he just suddenly decided not to be happy anymore. He is really capricious.
Therefore, I became silent too. I took out my phone to play a game, and vented my angry on the keyboard. I repeated strike the snake till it's ashes scattered and smoke dispersed*, I felt really happy. Look, Jiang Chen bullies me, I bully the snake, is this how fair the world is. (T/N: Think she's playing slither.io, but I don't think that game is available in China. So she might be playing the classic snake game instead, but kills the snake instead of eating the apple. Also, that is lit. translation for annihilating something so bad its ashes scattered and smoke dispersed.)
The car suddenly stopped moving, I thought we were waiting for the red light, so I didn't pay attention. I continued to attentively kill the snake. After a long time, when I have killed about 10 snakes, the car still didn't move. I looked out, not sure when the car pulled over at the side of the road. I turned back to look at Jiang Chen, to my surprise, he was staring at me.
I asked him, "What happened?"
He said, "Call your boss, take leave tomorrow."
I didn't get it, "Ah? Why? I will have to minus pay."
He said with strong conviction, "Just take if I ask you to."
I looked at him in a daze, he avoided my eye and looked a little awkward. I blinked my eye and came to the sudden realizationā¦.
I called Fu Pei, "Hello, Boss Fu ah?"
"Darling, I'm the real boss, not the deputy boss," said Fu Pei. (T/N: a deputy boss is called åÆčęæ (fu lao ban). Xiaoxi asked for å čęæ (fu lao ban) Which is Fu Pei's surname name + designation. That's why he said he is the real boss and not the deputy boss.)
I rolled my eyes: "Not funny, I have to take leave tomorrow."
"Take leave for what?"
I said, "My boyfriend is on leave tomorrow, he wants to me take leave to accompany him."
I looked over at Jiang Chen with my peripheral vision and saw that his expressions turned rigid.
After I took my leave, I bit my lips to stop myself from laughing, "I have taken my leave."
He gave an uncomfortable cough and said, "Nng."
"HAHAHAHAHAā¦." I couldn't control in the end, "Iā¦. hahaā¦.. youā¦ hahaā¦. why so cuteā¦. hahahaā¦ if you want me to accompany youā¦ you canā¦ hahaā¦ just say it straightā¦ haha"
"Shut up!" Jiang Chen glared at me, and started the car.
Someone's flying into a rage out of humiliation ohhh.
Jiang Chen drove the car to the basement carpark of a supermarket, I asked oddly, "What do you want to buy?"
He said, "Food."
I mumbled, "Can't we eat first then buy, I'm about to die from hunger."
He removed his seat belt and leaned over to release mine, "Buy home to cook."
"Ah?" I said, "I have no idea how to cook, I only know how to make noodles."
He said, "Then we will make noodles."
Jiang Chen lied to me, the food in the trolley is increasingly, there is even a chicken, a whole complete chicken, with head, with leg, with butt.
I looked frightenedly at the chicken as though I saw an extinct dinosaur, "why did you buy this for?"
Jiang Chen said, "to stew soup."
I said, "You know how?
"I don't" he said matter of factly.
I thought, if you are not my boyfriend, I would have whacked you.
The entire shopping process my only contribution is a packet of cream flavoured melon seeds, but this is not enough to make me feel useless, as my skin is thick enough.
Jiang Chen carried the big and small bags, I offered to help him share the load, so he gave me a bag of vegetables.
I said I can carried 2 more bags, he asked me to save my strength to ponder on how to cook, I want to cry but there are no tears.
I once again stood in front of Jiang Chen's house, I leaned on the wall to wait for him to find his keys, he glared at me and said, "Open the door!"
Only then did I remember that his keys are with me, I buried my head in my bag for half a day just to find a bunch of foreign keys and said, "which key opens which lock?"
Finally, I entered Jiang Chen's house, it is neither big nor small, 2 rooms 2 halls, not much decorations, and looks like a specimen lab. I stood at the door to look around, he walked past me to enter and took the bag of vegetables I was holding along with him as well.
I hurriedly followed behind him, "Did you rent or buy this place?"
He turned back to stare at me, eyes deep with mystery, "Why? Want to marry me?"
I replied honestly, "not that, but I just feel that if it's rented, then its too wasteful to have an empty room."
Only after I finish my reply did I realise something, I didn't move, only made a crying face and said, "Did you just propose to me? If that's so can I reply again?"
He said, "No, cannot."
I pouted, he should have removed the pause between the 2 words. (T/N: His answer can also actually be vaguely translated to: Not that, you cannot. So if the pause/breakage is removed between his 1st and 2nd phrase, it would mean not that you cannot (reply me again).)
"Why are you still standing there, come here to help."
"Oh."
After 3 minutes, we looked at each other and looked at the kitchen counter that was full of vegetables.
I said, "What should we make first?"
Jiang Chen frowned and said, "Soup, we might have to stew the soup for a long time."
I said, "Then lets do it, how do we stew it?"
He said, "Chop it up and throw it into the pot to boil."
I said, "Then you can do the chopping, you are a doctor, you are used to knife."
He said, "That is a surgical knife."
I said, "Then do you have surgical knife at your house?"
He thought about it, "I do, it's at the drawer until the TV."
I rain out to grab 2 surgical knives and passed it to him "There, your knife that you are used to."
He held onto the surgical knife and cut across the chicken lightly, the skin tore and the flesh exposed.
I couldn't help but made a "wah"
Jiang Chen turned back to look at me and said, "Now you know, put down the surgical knife, lives might be at risk."
I swiftly put down the surgical knife I was holding on onto the kitchen counter, "I will wash the vegetables."
The water was splashing down and I took a peek at Jiang Chen's progress, I couldn't help but ask, "What are you doing?"
He said, "I'm removing the skin and retrieving the meat."
I said, "Do we need remove the skin and retrieve the meat to stew a soup?"
He said, "Do we not? Then why did you give me a surgical knife? A surgical knife can't chop bones."
After 10 minutes, I asked, "How do we cook the cauliflower that I just washed?"
Jiang Chen said, "chop it up, throw it in the pot to cook."
After another 10 minutes.
I asked again, "What about the ribs?"
Jiang Chen Said, "chop it up, throw it in the pot to cook."
After another 10 minutes.
I want to try for a last resort, "How about we go out to eat, we can buy 2 recipe books back along the way, and we will research on how to cook next time."
The hand he was chopping the ribs stopped, he held up the chopper and looked at me gloomily, "If we can't finish making the dishes today, then we shall never eat again."
Darling, must we put on such a strong front?
Because every dish is done by chopping it up and throwing it into the pot to cook, we finished it pretty fast. It took less than an hour for every dish to be on the dining table. My favourite pastime was to sneak up silently to eat on sly when my mother puts the dishes on the table. My mother will chase me behind my butt and whack me with a pan. However, Jiang Chen is here, so I completely given up on this interest. I rather be a boring person.
We sat at the dining table, I looked at him and he looked at me, none of us dared to touch our chopsticks.
Jiang Chen picked up a cauliflower and brought it to my mouth, he said will smiling, "I think I have never gift you a flower before, come, this flower is for you."
I couldn't dodge in time, and could only eat it. It tasted normal, just like boiled vegetable, as long as it is not overcooked, it won't be too bad.
Jiang Chen saw that I didn't have any bad expression, so he took one to eat as well. After swallowing he frowned and said, "Chen Xiaoxi, did you forget to add salt?"
I was expressionless, "You were the one in charge of salt."
He shrugged, "too much salt will cause high blood pressure."
I bite my chopsticks and asked Jiang Chen, "Then where shall we go tomorrow?"
He took my bowl to ladle out some soup, "We are not going anywhere, stay home to watch films."
I said, "What film?"
He suddenly looked at me and smiled sinisterly, "A film*." (T/N: Porn.)
In terms of being vulgar and obscene, I usually refuse to do worse than others, I held onto my chin and threw flirtatious glances at him, "Little dimple, you are so naughty and lecherous."
He trembled, and spilled his soup.
Translatorās Corner:
As mentioned, we will be taking a weekās break next week for Chinese New Year! Have a prosperous year of dog everyone~ Gong xi fa cai!!