After quite some time of chaos, it turned out that all I had was just a mild cerebral concussion. Those symptoms where I was giddy and my head was spinning were all just me scaring myself till I became ill, and by association Jiang Chen was also frightened quite terribly. Here, I must criticise Jiang Chen's psychological strength for a bit, as a doctor who had spent countless years in the foul wind and bloody rain*, he really appeared like he had never seen the world before. (T/N: referring to a ruthless, treacherous atmosphere/environment of an insane massacre.)
According to the statement of the eyewitness - the sour-faced little nurse, Doctor Jiang Chen had cradled my head while displaying his lion roar towards the emergency room, "PENLIGHT! STETHOSCOPE!"
The little nurse staggered out holding a penlight and a stethoscope. While Jiang Chen was tremblingly flipping over my eyelids to use the penlight to shine and look at my pupils, she, carrying an attitude of "there is no harm in trying", used strength distinctive of nurses to pinch my renzhong* once, immediately I shrieked and bounced awake. (T/N: Renzhong: the "human centre" acupuncture point - you can feel it by feeling the area beneath your nose where there is a depression. It is a key acupuncture point to press when restoring consciousness of someone after they faint)
Seeing me become awake, Jiang Chen's complexion was not very good, he probably thought that the nurse had stolen the limelight from him as the doctor.
He used the tiny penlight to shine at my pupils and looked at them carefully for a while, only then did he keep the tiny penlight in the pocket of his white coat and ask me, "What happened to you?"
I pulled myself up by holding on to the arm that he had looped around me and sat up straight, "I fell down and hit my head."
He wrinkled his brow and felt the back of my head with his hand. His fingers passed through my hair, carefully pressing on my scalp. He pressed till I made a "chi" sound expressing pain before he stopped, after which he then pulled my hand to feel that area of scalp, "Look, a bump has risen up here."
The way he spoke was calm like a gentle breeze and a floating wisp of cloud, as if the bump on my head was caused by a mosquito sting.
I pressed on that projecting lump, it was about as big as a quail egg. Pressing on it, it was softer than an egg with its shell intact, yet it was harder than an egg with its shell peeled, its hardness was just nice.
Jiang Chen pushed aside my fringe and asked me, "Is there anywhere else that got hurt when you fell?"
I shook my head and said that there wasn't, he clutched my neck, "Don't move your head! Where did you fall?"
"Your room." I patted his hand as I spoke.
He held me by the arm as we stood up, "Why didn't you give me a phone call to ask me to go over?"
I glimpsed at him, feeling aggrieved. "I forgot to."
I supported myself by holding on to his shoulder, and followed him, walking slowly towards the emergency room. That nurse followed behind us, expressing her delayed concern, "Hey, if I had known earlier that you were Doctor Jiang's friend, I would have let you come in to sit."
Jiang Chen made me lie down on the hospital bed in the emergency room, "I'll go get medication."
The little nurse dragged a chair over to sit by my hospital bedside, and asked me beamingly, "Are you Doctor Jiang's girlfriend?"
I didn't feel like replying her, I was busy pressing that bump on the back of my brain. Just applying a slight force immediately caused a sort of numbing pain to spread from my forehead to my toes, it was very satisfying.
The little nurse waited for quite a long time and didn't manage to wait for my reply. Knowing herself that it was meaningless, she dragged her chair away and went to sit in front of a tiny window.
Jiang Chen returned holding a steel tray, on it was a cup of water, a medicine jar, a few cotton buds and a few white pills.
He picked up the pills and placed it on his palm, I then picked up the pills from his palm and threw them into my mouth, then I flooded (my mouth) with water to send them down.
After I finished eating the medicine, he made me sit cross-legged on the bed with my back facing him. He wanted to help me apply medication, that little nurse tried a few times to come over and help, and every time was always sent away by my fierce glare.
Jiang Chen first flipped over my hair. As my back was facing him and I couldn't see his expression, I hence automatically fitted him in my mind with a facial expression of him lightly creasing his brow, with a tender and pained* gaze. However, very quickly, I soon overthrew this gentle expression ruthlessly in my mind, for he had used the cotton bud to, while exerting all his strength, fiercely and crazedly jab at that bump on the back of my head. (T/N: "pained" - the original expression is "心疼" which literally means "pained heart", usually refers to when your heart hurts/you feel sorry for someone you love dearly who is going through a hard time)
Immediately, hot tears filled my eyes, I turned my head upwards and backwards to look at him. "Be gentler, don't jab out my brains."
With his hand, he supported my head till it was straight, and said, "Got it."
After that, he threw away the cotton bud, what then next plastered on (the back of my head) was his fingers. His fingers were warm, mixing together with the cooling ointment as he slowly kneaded my scalp.
I suddenly felt a burst of tartness and limpness in my heart. I slowly leaned back, lightly leaning on his body. His fingers paused momentarily, before he once again dug out a lump of ointment and smeared it on my scalp.
The little nurse had originally been sneaking peeks craftily from the side, but for some reason, she suddenly gave two forced chuckles towards us, and with an air of sternness and righteousness, proposed that she was going to go out and conduct a ward round. With regards to her abrupt transformation into someone so industrious, hardworking and dedicated to her work, we can only term it as a moment of enlightenment.
Jiang Chen allowed her moment of enlightenment, she then went out to conduct ward rounds, looking back three times for every step she took*. (T/N: literal translation, meaning to be reluctant)
Just like that, I leaned on Jiang Chen's third, fourth and fith ribs. He silently kneaded my head, kneading kneading kneading kneading, he was kneading for too long a time, I then felt spooked and scared, thinking if he wanted to knead my skull and scalp till it became thin so that it would be easy for him to poke a straw in with a "pop" sound to suck up my brains……
Thankfully Jiang Chen did stop. He used that hand of his covered in ointment to encircle my shoulder from behind my back.
He said, "I have been waiting for you to regret all along, waiting for you to come back and plead with me. I would definitely have to mock you properly, then make you face the surgical knife and vow that you would be hacked to pieces if you ever dared to say the two words - 'break up' - in the future."
I wanted to turn my head over and tell him, "This mentality of yours is too unhealthy, plus how can you say such gory words to me when I am such an adorable girl? I'm very cowardly, I will be scared."
But Jiang Chen was holding my shoulder bone with a death grip, with a manner quite like he was going to crush me to pieces any moment, therefore I didn't say a word.
He spoke again. "But you unexpectedly never came."
I thought to myself, that's you not seeing it, I even saw you ordering a meal of char siu* rice in the restaurant. (T/N: char siu - a particular way of preparing barbequed pork in Cantonese cuisine that is sweet and savoury)
He said that he went to look for me after more than a month, he said that it was the first time he had watched helplessly as a person died in his hands, he said that the situation back then was truly out of the ordinary and his emotional state was truly fragile, he needed a girlfriend to give him support and encouragement, so he decided to make the first move and forgive me. Hence, he went to look for me, but downstairs from my house, he saw me directing a few huge men to move my luggage downstairs, after which he then returned to the hospital in a fit of pique.
I sighed, the heavens ought not to be so merciless and cruel, making trouble without reason.
This matter was like this, at that time, after I finished saying the words "break up", Jiang Chen threw down a sentence - "Don't you regret it" - and following that swung the door and left. After he swung the door, that old, feeble, diseased and spoilt door gave up on barely maintaining its existence while being on its last legs, and breathed its last without turning back.
And coincidentally, the next day was the day that that balding landlord of mine dropped in to collect rental fees. He looked at that door on the verge of collapse*, and most likely he thought of those strands of hair of his on the verge of dropping out*, so he was furious. (T/N: in the original text, the words used to describe the door and the hair are exactly the same, I changed the translations in each situation a little to fit both contexts)
He faced the spoilt door, reviling me. My landlord's educational level was very high, he reportedly was a postgraduate student from ancient times. He escalated this matter to the high degree of how university students in the present age generally had no cultivation, furthermore insisting on his belief that the financial crises, droughts, earthquakes, floods and even bird flu were all the fault of university students. I did attempt to explain that it wasn't my fault that droughts occurred, because I only washed my clothes once a week, but he didn't listen, he insisted on me paying a thousand RMB for the cost to replace the door.
Even though I appear to be dim-witted, I wasn't stupid. This lousy wooden door was at most worth 200 RMB, with one turnover he raised the price by 5 times, this was even more dishonestly profitable and more shameless than real estate. Of course, a few years later, I discovered that I was wrong, nothing could be more dishonestly profitable and more shameless than real estate.
Due to the matter of this door, the relationship between my landlord and I completely broke down. He was determined to ask for compensation of one thousand RMB, I was determined to compensate five hundred. Stuck in this deadlock, he made me get out from his apartment, I hence got out. And the day that Jiang Chen came, I was doing the preparatory actions to get out.
I mournfully told Jiang Chen the story of me being bullied in every possible way by that landlord, after Jiang Chen had finished hearing it, he gave a deep sigh and said, "Then let's reconcile."
I was extremely perplexed, look at how he said these words, so in his mind, these three years of ours was just an endless quarrel?
Perhaps I was silent for too long, Jiang Chen spoke again, he said, "Chen Xiaoxi, I am a doctor. I've gotten used to the sight of life and death, struggles and suffering. According to your logic, my life ought to have transcended worldliness greatly, why must I be intertwined and entangled up with you? The moment I turn around there is a pretty nurse, the moment I nod my head I can have a new life, why should I keep thinking about you."
I listened, this wasn't right, these words were completely different from that request to reconcile, could it be that that brief silence of mine was thought by him to be me putting on airs, and he had decided to no longer entertain me?
I turned around and hugged his waist, "Okay, let's reconcile."
He didn't speak for a long time, I got anxious, saying while wringing his clothes with my fingers, "You can't play this sort of love games with me where you welcome me while desiring to reject me, I'm already old enough to marry and have children."
Jiang Chen patted my back, "I got it."
I let go of his waist, and raised my head to look at him. "What do you mean?"
He lowered his head and leaned in close, I covered my mouth with lightning speed, and spoke with a smothered voice, "Are we reconciling or not after all, if you don't make it clear I won't let you kiss me."
He tilted his head looking at me, and smiled. "Okay, we'll reconcile."
After he finished speaking, he pushed aside my hand, and kissed me.
As our lips and tongues rolled and turned, I tried hard to stay clear-headed and reflect on a question. Initially it was him who asked to reconcile, why was it that in the end it again became me who begged him to reconcile? Furthermore, I even had to stoop to seducing him to ask for reconciliation?
But my clear-headedness only lasted for about three seconds, after which my long-neglected lips then ruled over that mind of mine that didn't have much of its own opinion.
Really, our embrace and kiss were very romantic – the disinfectant smell that was specific to hospitals, the minty smell emanating from the ointment on my head, the medicinal smell and soap smell on Jiang Chen's body, along with the faint taste of Wrigley's Doublemint chewing gum in his mouth, these various flavours mingled together, it was very beautiful. If time could be like a DVD player, I wanted to press "pause", and freeze the frame at this second.
Unfortunately, even if time was a DVD player, I also didn't have a remote control in my hand.
That head of mine that had just suffered serious trauma suddenly experienced a burst of pain under a state of a great increase in blood flow. It was so painful that I wrung at Jiang Chen's back with tears gleaming in my eyes, "My…… head hurts."
He let go of me and crouched down to look at me levelly, I held on to his shoulder and took deep breaths with great effort.
He fished out the little penlight from his pocket, and then stretched his hand out to flip my eyelids, even using the little penlight to shine at my eyes. That ray of light shone at me till I really wanted to shed tears.
Finally Jiang Chen let out a breath and supported me to lie down. After that he used the stern tone of voice distinctive of doctors and reproached, "There's no problem, lie down and rest for a while, you can't be overly excited when you have a cerebral concussion."
Speechless, I gazed at the gleaming white ceiling, who exactly was the one who had caused me to be excited……
Translator’s Corner:
To end off the chapter, let us visually appreciate Jiang Chen’s “lion roar” for his penlight and his stethoscope, which we can only catch a glimpse of in the music video for “Is this a dream”, because for some unfathomable reason, they decided to edit out this particular part from the final version of this scene in the drama. :”(