Chapter 33

Helen stood in front of her room and was busy struggling with the handle.

 

‘Should I open this or not…!’

 

When she opened the door, she would immediately see the Emperor. She had nowhere to hide inside the room which was about the size of a bean.

 

“Ugh….”

 

She was in such a dilemma. What should she say the moment she made eye contact with the Emperor?

 

Should she apologize for finding out about his secret? And that she had committed a mortal sin? And ask him to kill her?

 

Then the Emperor would smile and draw out the sword, granting her wishes.

 

‘I got goosebumps….’

 

Right now, what bothered her greatly was her father.

 

What would he say if he heard about the incident in the hunting ground? Would he still urge her, or praise her for doing such a great job?

 

The fear that she didn’t feel anymore because she didn’t meet her father recently, struck her again.

 

She grabbed her hand that began to tremble a bit with her other hand and let out a short breath.

 

‘It-It will be fine. I can do this!’

 

It was when she convinced herself and exhaled repeatedly.

 

Suddenly, the door opened from inside first.

 

“Why don’t you come in? Did you forget your room as well?”

 

At that moment,she looked up to the Emperor and lost her sense momentarily at the Emperor’s sarcastic remark.

 

The veil was still covering his face, but he smelled familiar.

 

It was the scent of the man in the library.

 

‘Why on earth….’

 

She recalled the feeling of deja vu the moment she looked at the man’s handwriting, and her heart suddenly began to race anxiously.

 

When she belatedly realized that she just stared up to the Emperor, she hurriedly dropped her gaze.

 

“I-I didn’t.”

 

“You still have that habit while talking.”

 

Helen gasped and inhaled, her shoulders trembled in contemplation at the Emperor’s brief sarcasm.

 

Carmun sighed briefly at her small trembling shoulders.

 

“The reason why I come here….”

 

The moment Carmun opened his mouth, he turned his words while looking at Helen who was sitting in front of me in displeasure.

 

“Until when are you going to be so nervous like that? I didn’t come here to prey on you like a bear.”

 

He felt sorry for Helen after realizing that she was still trembling, as if she was about to faint again.

 

And Carmun frowned, feeling dissatisfied at the sight.

 

‘She must be thinking about the right time to run away.’

 

As a matter of fact, he felt sorry for the woman who knew about his night side and smiled while clinging to him because she seemed lovely.

 

However, he was annoyed at the sight of her who trembled as if she was going to die in front of him.

 

‘Why should I feel bad for her?’

 

When he saw the serene face of the woman, he had to feel the emotion he had never felt in his life before. Although it was still weak, he hadn’t gotten used to it yet, so he felt hurt for no reason.

 

His heart beat a little faster which gave him a pleasant sense of warmth. His fingertips might feel numb if it comes in contact by any chance with her even in the slightest.

 

Moreover, she smelled good whether she wore any perfume or not. In his opinion, she was unconditionally favorable.

 

She was uncomfortable being in this kind of situation, but not for Carmun as he was inherently dissatisfied at her reaction.

 

Besides, the reason why he felt annoyed was that she didn’t know him at all but she was so scared that she trembled at the sight of him.

 

“I… I apologize…….”

 

“If you are sorry, stop trembling like that.”

 

Carmun definitely promised to himself to not be angry, but in the end he became furious at the woman’s reaction.

 

“Huft……”

 

He promised to himself once again while releasing a long sigh.

 

‘Okay. Let’s behave like a gentleman.’

 

He didn’t know if he had already gone too far, but he should be careful this time. Because it was true that she was an important person.

 

Carmun stroked his hair while clearing up his thoughts. It was at that moment. Helen suddenly got up and knelt on the floor.

 

‘What the hell does she think about me….’

 

As soon as he saw Concubine Edith, who was pale and looked as if she was about to die at any moment, he strangely felt like the blood in the corner of his heart was cooling down.

 

He was so disturbed by this woman that he wondered.

 

Just, why?

 

Carmun’s eyes were filled with rage at the unknown emotion. He quickly gave up on the idea of being kind to her.

 

When he looked at the pale face of the woman, he became offended.

 

“I’ve committed a grave sin….”

 

While saying so, she trembled and her voice was shaking pitifully.

 

Why did he look pitifully at the woman who he tried to kill and get rid of in the first place?

 

“W-What should I do… I-I’m so scared that I couldn’t even say it!’

 

Helen didn’t even think about opening her eyes while she was on her knees.

 

What kind of expression did he have? Would the Emperor look at her as if she was acting ridiculous from behind his veil?

 

Questions arose in her mind, but she didn’t dare to see the Emperor.

 

Seeing that he came all the way here by himself, it seemed like he was clearly determined.

 

He was a man who was capable of slaying a wild animal with one stroke of a sword. Besides, it seemed that he had trained because he was more built than most knights.

 

Considering how tall and big he was, Helen was third time less than the Emperor’s height and size from the back.

 

The man gave off such a coercive aura and looked at her unfavorably.

 

S-she had to apologize! He was definitely angry because she visited the library.

 

Helen decided to apologize before the Emperor even uttered any words. Wouldn’t he feel sorry for her and consider not giving her any punishment?

 

Even if in the end, she would be given punishment, Ellie wouldn’t be punished too.

 

After shaking and wrapping up her thoughts, Helen clenched her hands and lifted up her head slightly.

 

Then the Emperor exhaled more ferociously than before and briefly expressed his anger.

 

“You…!”

 

His voice trembled slightly as if he was upset.

 

W-Why all of a sudden…! Was she too late to apologize?

 

“You always look terrified every time you see me. As if you have done something wrong to me.”

 

The Emperor spoke up first. He crumpled his face severely, as if he was satisfied, but his face was invisible because of the veil.

 

However, there were many other conditions that would lead the Emperor to get angry.

 

Whether it was because his voice blended with his breathing, or his arms that were crossed arrogantly.

 

Due to that, Helen cowered even more.

 

“I’ve made a mistake. I entered the Emperor’s library without permission, but I was just curious about the book there…….”

 

“I met that man there.”

 

“…I….”

 

When Helen nodded her head back and forth gently, Carmun gulped briefly while running his hand over his face.

 

“So you want to apologize to me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Even if you were just curious, you know that entering the Emperor’s library is a serious crime, right?”

 

The Emperor’s library stored a lot of forbidden books, so it was a very important and furtive place.

 

Among all of them, she didn’t expect that the most important secret would be that man.

 

If she had known that she would be involved with the Emperor like this, she would never have gone there in the first place.

 

Helen’s face changed when ‘he’ came to her mind. Her eyes dropped in a pitiful manner and the terrified look on her face changed, she calmed down slightly and didn’t say anything after that.

 

The man’s heart was not one-sided, but rather fortunate, but his stomach twisted and slightly heated. Luckily the man’s feeling wasn’t just a one-sided thing, but he felt like his inside was twisted and a little upset.

 

‘It would be quite a view when she knew who he actually was.’

 

Carmun laughed inwardly while watching her, who didn’t acknowledge his face that was covered by a veil.

 

Her appearance was both absurd and ridiculous.

 

Did it mean that she didn’t recognize him at all even if there were already so many noticeable hints such as his voice, body, and others?

 

It turned out that the woman was quite obtuse.

 

“How?”

 

Carmun bent over slightly and drew close to Helen.

 

Carmun didn’t hide his fierce eyes which resembled a wild animal in front of its prey when Helen inhaled as she sensed him leaning close.

 

“What can you do to apologize to me?”

 

“… T-That….”

 

“Did you do it just as an excuse?”

 

“I would never!”

 

“Then how are you going to do it?”

 

Helen quickly put her brain to work when the Emperor smirked and finished his words with an apparent sneer.

 

Is there any way to please the Emperor so that he would accept my apology…. No, is there even such a thing?

 

She was just a lowly concubine who had been abandoned by her own homeland.

 

She nibbled on her lower lip slightly. No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t get any answer in return.

 

“…I don’t have anything to give you.”

 

“Then I won’t do as you wish either. Do you think I’m stupid?”

 

Although arrogant, he was the Emperor of Idelberg. There was no doubt that stupidity existed in him.

 

Helen nodded in agreement and continued.

 

“If there is anything that I can do for you, I will do it.”

 

“Oh… How can you say so, what do you think I will ask from you?”

 

“…What?”

 

“It’s so audacious of you to say that. If the ministers heard it, they would have passed out while leaning on their back.”

 

She swallowed nervously at the intimidating words of the Emperor.

 

When she was a little distracted at his mean smile while looking up at the Emperor, he suddenly reached out and raised her chin which was lowered slightly.

 

Her gaze seemed to meet the Emperor through his veil when her eyes flicked up on its own.

 

Her heart was racing and there were sweats on her hands. Her body naturally stiffened by itself because she was nervous.

 

At this moment, she shut her mouth nervously so that she wouldn’t scream.

 

“I… I….”

 

The Emperor didn’t say anything and simply stared at her. The Emperor’s gaze scanned through his body, as if he was looking her up and down.

 

All of her nerves stood timorously and responded keenly to him. She couldn’t avoid the Emperor’s touch, so she just waited while standing still and hoping for the time to pass quickly.

 

“There’s one thing I really need.”

 

“W-What is it?”

 

“Will you listen to me if I tell you? You said you’d listen to anything that I say.”

 

“Of course!”

 

Then the Emperor smiled while lifting up the corner of his lips.

 

“I need you. Very much.”

 

Helen was slightly surprised to hear the playfulness in the Emperor’s voice.

 

This was because the Emperor, who was just unfriendly, sounded a bit like the man every single time.

 

A kind man and a cold emperor who resembled each other.

 

This was the same as cold and hot water! It was similar to that. It didn’t mean that they were the same person just because they have similar eyes, nose, and mouth.

 

[t/n: sigh…]

 

Helen clutched onto her head which was in a turmoil and opened her mouth.

 

“Is there anything that you wish to do in your pastime?”

 

***

 

Carmun was lying on his bed in broad daylight and spending his leisure time.

 

There was a lot of work to be done, but he kept on piling it all up.

 

Viester came and kept asking about the paperworks while sending him a look that demanded him to work, but he didn’t even raise his body.

 

‘What a strange woman.’

 

It was ridiculous how he thought about her again even after coming all the way to her room to meet her a moment ago.

 

But the woman’s answer was even more ridiculous.

 

She casually spat out a funny question which led him to show a face as if he just heard something ridiculous.

 

<b>-Is there anything that you wish to do in your pastime?</b>

 

She said it in a very quiet tone.

 

The important thing was that he answered with a formal voice, as if he didn’t feel any sexual nuance at that.

 

‘Okay. It was better that way.’

 

She was better than women who made him tired by talking about love over and over again.

 

Because this was an act close to a contract. A contract where they only took advantage of each other.

 

At first, he thought it was a one-sided thing for his other self, but he was completely convinced after seeing the expression she had on her face when she mistook him for his night self and the short conversation they had today.

 

‘She is interested in him as well.’

 

It was funny how her heart was swayed by someone else even though the woman was his concubine. She was quite daring even as a concubine because the other guy in this case was his other self.

 

She was openly having an affair with another man, but that man was him.

 

It was like a novel which turned out to be worse than expected.

 

Carmun was lying on his bed and let out a low chuckle, he covered his mouth with his hand to hide his amused smile.

 

Viester looked at him weirdly while still standing at the other side of the room.