āRodokiaus-sama! Come to the Tower of Trik immediatelyāāā
I started running without waiting to hear the words of the magician who rushed into the barracks.
The fact that a magician came to call me meant that something happened to Kou.
So I aimed for the tower without looking back.
(Did he get hurt?)
Then Iāll beat those magicians.
ā¦but, what if Kou disappearedā¦?
That thought chilled me to the bone.
(There can be no such thing!)
I ran while ignoring such anxiety.
(Pleaseā¦! Please be safe!)
āāwhile earnestly wishing so.
āāāā
āā
āKou!ā
When I jumped inside the tower, I breathed a sigh of relief.
However, when I hurriedly approached and saw the tears flowing from Kouās eyes, I looked back with narrowed eyes.
āWhatās wrong with Kou?ā
I picked him up and rubbed his back, but Kou just shook his head.
(Had he been treated badly?)
If so, Iāll crush the entire Tower of Trik.
āWhat did you do to Kou?ā
āI didnāt do anything!ā
āWhat did you say to Kou?ā
āNothingā¦he just suddenly started crying.ā
When I angrily asked him, Rudikda vehemently denied it while being flustered.
Because I know he cares about Kou, he shouldnāt have done anything.
Butā¦why is Kou crying?
āToday I was teaching attack magic. I used the magic I normally do until a while ago. ā¦when I picked him up, I was surprised that he transferred without drawing a formation, butā¦I hadnāt taught him transfer magic yet.ā
(Did you say you picked up Kou?)
Anger gushed out of me.
But I donāt have time to indulge my possessiveness right now.
Iām worried that he used transfer magic that he hadnāt learned yet, but Iām more worried that Kou is crying.
Can anyone tell me why Kou is crying?
āHome, go.ā (Letās go home.)
Seeing Kou nod, I headed home.
I already know that Kou is 18 years old and had a lifespan of less than 100 years old.
He came from another world and he might return someday.
ā¦is there anything else he hadnāt talk about yet?
Is Kou, who always smiles and pays attention to his surroundings, overdoing it?
He might be crying because he canāt stand the accumulated anxiety and dissatisfaction.
ā¦you donāt have to overdo it.
As I walked through the town, I worried about Kou, who kept crying.
Iām always worried when he cried because heād usually sing, or say the words he remembered, or talk to me with a smile.
Moreover, Kou has a young appearance.
Since such a child was crying, no adult would not be worried.
And I know that many people always look forward to Kouās smile.
The little hands clung around my neck.
I feel his desperation which is why I canāt smile.
Did you feel some sign that you might return?
āāāā
āā
Even when we got home, Kou didnāt let go.
āKou? Home, arrived.ā (Kou? Weāve arrived.)
āā¦ā
He didnāt say anything and just put more strength in his arms.
If he just wants to be spoiled, Iād be happy to, but itās clear from the fact that heās crying thatās not it.
Kou still said nothing as I continue stroking his back and calling out to him.
But he kept crying and clinging to my neck.
āWhy, cry?ā
How many times have I asked the same thing?
āRyodoā¦ā
After a while, I heard Kouās voice.
But heās still clinging to me and doesnāt show me his face.
āKou, what?ā
Still, if heās willing to talk, I want to hear everything.
If I donāt know why heās crying, I canāt do anything.
āā¦Ryodo, Kou, hate, line, disappearā¦no.ā (ā¦Ryodo might hate me if I disappear somedayā¦I donāt want that.)
āHate, wrong. Hate, never.ā (I wonāt hate you. I will never hate you.)
Why would Kou think Iāll hate him?
There shouldnāt be such a thing.
Did someone say something?
ā¦no, Kou smiles at almost everyone, but he only listens to half of what other people besides me say, and I think heās just too shy.
It seems like he doesnāt like being approached by others, even when Kouās the one who approached.
He also doesnāt seem to like being picked up, and I sometimes get rejected.
Therefore, if I only ask once in a while, heād appear defeated and let me spoil him.
Though Iām the only one who says āI want to pick you up.ā
So even if Iām told he used transfer when Rudikda picked him up, I just wondered if he didnāt like it that much.
āKou, Ryodo, likes. Ryodo, together, exist, wantā¦butā¦return, want. Father, mother, together, wantā¦Ryodo, goodbye, doā¦noā¦no.ā (IĀ like Rodo. I want to be together with Rodoā¦butā¦I also want to return. Mother and father, I want to be with themā¦but I donāt want to say goodbye to Rodoā¦thatās not itā¦not that.)
To hear the words I was most afraid to hear in this wayā¦
However, Iām just glad he didnāt say āI want to go homeā.
Kou is crying because he didnāt want to leave me.
He said he likes me.
āāIām happy about thatā¦
After all, it seems like he just wants to see his parents.
Given Kouās age, it canāt be helped.
But once Kou returns to his parents, I will never see him again.
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Kou already knows what a mate is like.
Thatās why he put up with not saying it all this time.
āāall for me.
He said he didnāt know if he could return to the world he was in.
He suddenly came to this world, so he didnāt know when he would also return suddenly.
Iād be happy if Kou didnāt return to his original world.
ā¦but Kou is different.
Whether he returns or stays here, Kou will cry.
Kou crying is the thing I hate the most.
ā¦how can Kou be the least sad?
Is it best to smile and see off Kou?
Would he be assured if I say that I wonāt die when Kou returns to Niho?
ā¦but can I smile and send him off?
I already knew Iād hold him back.
āRyodo, accept, mawyā¦no, wrong. Ryodo, children, happyā¦no, wrongā¦butā¦but, return, want.ā (I can accept marrying Rodoā¦no, thatās that it. Iād be happy to have Rodoās childā¦no, thatās not itā¦butā¦butā¦I do want to return.)
What should I say to Kou who complains while crying?
I want him to say heād marry me and have children and that he didnāt want to go homeā¦
In other words, Kou wants to go home.
He wanted to be with his parents more than with me.
Rather than being in Marihect, he wanted to be in Niho.
I already knew he really didnāt want to marry meā¦
I knew Iām the only one who wanted to marry Kouā¦
āDonāt go.ā
A selfish and stupid feeling overflowed from my mouth.
I donāt want to lose Kou, even if I know Kou would be sad.
āDonāt go anywhereā¦stay by my side.ā
I hugged the crying Kou and begged him.
āā¦different. Ryodo, wrong.ā (ā¦thatās not it. You got it wrong.)
However, Kou flapped his limbs while in my arms.
Whatās the difference?
Wouldnāt you like to go back to your parents rather than be by my side?
āKou, return, move, donāt know. Return, can, donāt know. Before, relax!ā (I donāt know if I can return. I donāt even know if thereās a way to return. But before that, calm down!)
He certainly didnāt know when he could go home or if he could in the first place.
And Kou looked angry.
What do you want to say?
āā¦ā
Kou looked up at me and looked dissatisfied.
Is he frustrated that I didnāt get what he wanted to say?
āā¦Kou, bad. Sorry.ā (ā¦itās my fault. Sorry.)
āKou, not bad. Apologize, no need.ā (Kouās not at fault. You donāt need to apologize.)
Why apologize?
You donāt need to do that.
āWrong. Kou, bad.ā (Youāre wrong. Itās my fault.)
However, Kou is stubborn.
āReturn, canā¦donāt know. But, can, no, donāt knowā¦Kou, Ryodo, likes. But, family, miss, see. Kou, try, line, did. Now, Kou, return, can, not. But, return, know, want, plan. Guide, Ryodo, bad.ā (I donāt know if I can return. I donāt even know if I can do so. I like Rodo. But I miss seeing my family. If thereās a way, Iāll try it. But for now, I canāt return. But once I know how to return, Iāll tell you my plan. Iām sorry for misguiding you.)
I donāt know if I can go home, I donāt know if I canāt go home, I like you but I want to meet my familyā¦thatās what he means. I could understand it as expected.
Did Kou becoming smaller mean that his grown-up figure is his original figure?
But what do you mean you canāt go home now?
And what do you mean that you feel sorry for wanting to go home?
Thereās no reason to feel bad if you really thought so.
If Kou misses his parents, itās not strange at all.
āAngry, no?ā (Why are you not angry?)
As if not understanding, Kou looked up with tears in his eyes.
āNot angry.ā
I donāt fully understand, but I canāt get angry at Kou.
I canāt get angry at Kou.
When I hugged and stroked his head, he seemed relieved, burying his face in my chest and hugging me.
āRyodo, thank you.ā
I heard his muffled voice, but I didnāt want to be thanked.