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The Goddess’ Own Feelings
With my elbows on the desk, I fiddled around with my smartphone. Sadly enough, I don’t have any interesting apps on there that could get me addicted, nor do I have the ability to focus on the screen for longer amounts of time. Sitting in the back of the class like this, I would often observe the inside of the classroom.
A sense of discomfort assaulted me because of this eerie silence that wasn’t there before. As of late, that guy’s been acting off. Normally, he’d stick to me no matter what, constantly blurting out random nonsense at every chance. A while ago, that sort of annoying attitude ceased entirely. Well, not entirely. Even so, at first I was wondering what he was on about, and felt a bit happy.
That day probably acted as a trigger. Ever since then, he’s been acting weird. I remember being awfully cold towards him with some harsh words. Because I couldn’t take this odd and mysterious gloomy feeling I had any longer, I happened to go all the way to his home. Though, I didn’t expect him to actually invite me inside.
‘I like you. Please go out with me.’
These words I heard countless times so far. With that day as the turning point, he never used these words again to convey his precious feelings. If anything, he felt more serious than ever back when he said that. But, as always, I thought it was the same of the usual nonsense, and pushed him away. Even now, I don’t think that my actions at that time had been wrong.
‘—I’ll try to be careful of this ‘obvious’ mood in the air.’
What do you mean by read the mood? What kind of mood are you reading? Even though I came to ask him about something, I was the one running away in the end. I don’t really know why, but back then, I was feeling incredibly angry towards him.
‘Hey, you’re Sajou-kun, right?’
Ever since then, this cute brown-haired girl appeared in front of Wataru. I think her name was Aizawa-san. Since he was just as surprised as I was, I don’t think they knew each other, and yet after that day, he’s been walking around with her a lot. Or so I heard from a girl in my class that I usually don’t talk with much.
“……”
It’s quiet. Normally, because of that guy being around and constantly bothering me, I don’t even get to finish my lunch. Usually, lunch break feels so short, but as of late, it’s dragging on and on that I finish eating with not even half of the break done. Then, I have too much time left over, and I wouldn’t know what to do.
Even with him being around or not, that guy is constantly bothering me. I guess he’s enjoying a talk with Aizawa-san right about now.
“…Flirting around like that.”
“Ohhh? Aichi, are you jealous~?”
“Wha…Kei!? You’re wrong, I wouldn’t be jealous because of that guy!”
“It sure is quiet without Sajocchi around. You must be lonely, right?”
“I’m enjoying the time without that annoying fly around! Don’t twist my words!”
“You don’t need to get that angry, okay.” Kei slowly approached me with a wide grin on her face.
For the most part, the general public thinks that we’re a married comedic couple or something like that. Even though he’s not even close to being my boyfriend, they constantly keep teasing me about it. I do trust Kei, but this is this, and that is that…
When I explained what I was on about, Kei didn’t even hesitate to immediately go on with a ‘So anyway’. Listen to me, will you?
“This girl that’s clinging to Sajocchi right now was walking around arms crossed with her boyfriend not too long ago.”
“Eh, boyfriend?”
Now that she mentions it…I feel like there was a couple like that walking around in the hallways just until recently. And, I think the boyfriend was a Senpai one year above her. But, wait a second. Why would someone who just recently broke up with her boyfriend suddenly cling to that guy like this?
“Don’t you think it’s weird for her to randomly look for another guy this quickly, despite having been all lovey-dovey like that?”
“Y-You’re saying that she’s plotting something?”
“Yeah, but…I doubt she’s still plotting, and rather that she probably already…” Kei gave a brief response, only to start muttering to herself.
Don’t leave me out in the dark like that…! If that girl really was planning something, then shouldn’t we warn that guy so that he doesn’t end up hurt…? O-Of course, it’s not that I’m worried about him or anything! I just don’t want to end up on the bad end of the stick!
“Ah, Sajocchi came back!”
“Eh…!?”
“I’ll be going back to my seat, Aichi~”
“Eh, wait, Kei…!?”
Kei informed me about this with a quiet voice while packing up her lunch box, and returned to her seat. At least stay with me until the very end…! Are you going to leave it all to me!?
After that guy got to his seat, he acted like nothing happened, and just started preparing for the next class. Hey…why are you not calling out to me like you always would!
“—H-Hey…Do you have a moment?”
“Hm…?”
Talking to him first myself felt odd, and it was like I had the itches all over my body. Even so, just assuming that he might be in some sort of danger, I can’t overlook it…!
“Y-You…are you eating with Aizawa-san every day?”
“Not exactly every day, but…about that, yeah.”
Eh, what…Why are you answering me in such a flat way? Didn’t you have feelings for me!? Normally, you’d try to hide that and come up with an excuse, wouldn’t you!?
“Y-You’re eating somewhere, right? There was a girl who saw you walk together…”
I emphasized that I wasn’t the one who actually cared. If I said that I was curious, then he’d definitely get on a high horse and not shut up about it.
“Ahh, yeah. That’s correct.”
“…I-I see.”
What’s his problem…! Admitting his relationship with that girl so easily…! What about me!? Normally, you go around calling me a goddess and whatever, but do you actually feel that way!? You’re not telling me that everything you said so far was just a joke, right!?
When we talked a bit, Wataru, rarely enough, looked away from me, and put one hand on his chin, thinking about something. He can even do a gesture like that…? Of course, not trying to make fun of him or anything.
“So…Natsukawa, have you known about Aizawa beforehand?”
“Eh…Y-Yes, I did? What about it?”
Suddenly, he returned a question at me instead. Out of a whim, I answered like that, but…Is he maybe thinking that something about Aizawa-san is off? If not, he wouldn’t just ask about her like that, right…? Or so I thought, but his next words threw me off-guard.
“I want to know more about her.”
“……Like hell I’d tell you, idiot! Will you stop chasing after girls already!”
In a fit of rage, my head turned blank. Why am I this angry? It’s probably because I was going out of my way, worried about him, and he’s just going around flirting with a girl he barely met. If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have bothered to ask him! I didn’t even want to see his face right now. So, I stood up, and stormed out of the room.
*
Wataru’s been eating lunch with that Aizawa-san almost daily now. He must be spending his days in happiness, not knowing how other people feel…!
Or so I thought, but that was only the case for the first few days, and shortly after, he quickly returned to the classroom with some bread he bought at the school store, only to get lost in his thoughts. Even though he’s living the life, getting attention from a cute girl, why is he making that kind of face?
…It’s a mystery. I was just sitting in the classroom, always mentally prepared for him to suddenly talk to me despite not even asking for it. I feel like he’s been hiding something as of late. He can just talk about whatever, really.
I found myself glancing at him. This isn’t me…! Why do I have to constantly think about him! It’s all because of what Kei said!
“…You barely came back, and you’re already lost in thought again? What’s up with you, Sajocchi?”
“Kya…!”
While clinging to me, Kei called out to Wataru. Because she took me by surprise, I let out a weird shriek…! Kei, this is really bad for my heart, so could you not…? If you want to talk to Wataru, why not talk to him directly? Wait no, that’s a bad idea! What am I thinking!?
Because Kei called out to Wataru, he looked over at me. However, when he spotted me and Kei in his field of view, he just returned his head to its original position, almost as if to show that he couldn’t bother with us right now.
“Thinking about my own specs.”
I think that he was responding at the same time as he cleared up some thoughts in his head. Kei must have gotten angry at that, because I heard a faint ‘Hmph’ at my ears.
“A plebian should keep quiet and study.”
“Shut your trap, Shudra.”
“Alright, it’s time to brawl!”
“Stop it, you two.”
Since Kei seemed like she was about to leap at him, I stopped them both. You sure have guts, leaving me out to instead enjoy a talk with Kei…I won’t allow you to enjoy a hug from Kei, okay! This is necessary so that you don’t turn into more of a pervert!
Kei moved away from me, and gave that guy a disgruntled stare, only for her to clap her hands together, directly pointing at his face.
“Ah, I got it! You’re still thinking about that Aizawa-san, right?”
H-Hold on a second…! What is this about? Did he ask Kei about Aizawa-san? And she told him something? Did she snitch about what we talked about before!?
“Eh? Ah, well…Something like that, yeah.”
Pushed by Kei’s initiative, that guy just nodded along without really answering anything. Following that, he looked to his left and right, only to then stare at us with a serious expression—H-Hey, don’t suddenly make that face, you surprised me…
“I have something to ask you two.”
“W-What is it…”
There, Watru glanced at me. On top of that, because of the oddly earnest look on his face, I felt myself shaken greatly. However, right when he wanted to say something, we could see a girl with brightly-colored brown hair enter our field of view. This girl spotted that guy inside the class, approached him from behind, and—Eh? Aizawa-san, what are you doing!?
“About Aizawa and Arimu—”
“Sajouuuu-kuuuun!!”
“Woah!?”
Aizawa-san jumped at Wataru’s back, who was sitting on his chair sideways, and embraced him from behind while screaming out his name…Eh? What? What is that girl doing!? If you hug him like that…!
“A-Aizawa-san!?”
“Ah! Were you in the middle of talking? Sorry to bother you like that…”
“It’s fine, was just Sajocchi after all.”
It’s not ‘fine’ at all! Look at his face. He’s happy about having her chest pressed against the back of his head! How dare you get happy at that…!
“…Get off, Aizawa. You’re soft.”
“Woah, pervert.”
“Go die.”
Before I even realized it, I already insulted Wataru, almost as natural as I was breathing. It wasn’t exactly on purpose, but maybe I was just annoyed to see a boy close to me flirting around with someone else. Why can’t I just be honest about that…! Also, why do you look so happy despite being insulted!?
“It’s not even lunch break yet. What brings you here?”
“No reason~ Just wanted to talk to you, Sajou-kun.”
“R-Really now…?”
Aizawa-san ignored the perverted comment from before, and instead invited Wataru out to eat lunch. Because it was this straight-forward of an invitation, even he started to blush ever so slightly. What are you getting embarrassed for…pervert.
But, it looks like Wataru isn’t fully believing Aizawa-san either. Rather than doubting her, it’s more like he is unsure of what she’s trying to achieve with this. You really are thinking about a lot, huh? Yet, you do seem a bit happy!
I couldn’t stand seeing Wataru act like that. Something kept me restless. When I was about to take one step forward, Kei got the jump on me.
“Then, then! Tell me about the reason you broke up with your boyfriend!”
“……”
W-What are you asking!? Where did that come from!? T-That’s not something you could ask so lightly, right…? Even that guy is looking at Kei in shock…I’m not in the wrong here, right? Was Kei always the type to disregard other people’s feelings?
“E-Ehh!? Where did that come from~?”
Look! Aizawa-san doesn’t even know what to say! That must be something she definitely doesn’t want to talk about. Kei, just act like that question never happened, and move on—
“What’s the problem~? You’ve got the hots for Sajocchi anyway, right?”
“Ehhhh…?”
……Eh? Aizawa-san likes that guy…? T-That’s a lie, right? Kei also said that Aizawa-san was plotting something, so I can’t believe she would actually have something for him. At the very least, I doubt she would just fall in love with someone who constantly announces his love for another girl.
“T-That’s…because I wasn’t good enough?”
“Huh, that’s so brave. That ex-boyfriend of yours must be the worst.”
“R-Right~”
K-Kei? Aren’t you pushing your head a bit too much into this? Even if Aizawa-san were to be plotting something, I think you should approach this with some delicacy. See, even Wataru is feeling awkward. I’m actually starting to feel bad for him, being squashed between these two—T-That’s what you get! You shouldn’t go around flirting with girls like that!
“But, now you have Sajocchi with you, so things should be fine! Cast aside that enemy of all women, and find happiness with Sajocchi!”
“……”
“K-Kei…!” I subconsciously called out to Kei in an attempt to stop her.
Even if she’s a good friend of mine, this isn’t something to just proclaim openly like that. When I looked over at Aizawa-san, my bad premonition turned out to be true, as her shoulders were quivering.
“……!”
When I reached out to cover Kei’s mouth, she suddenly grabbed my hand, pulled it to her chest, and tightly embraced it with both of hers. K-Kei…? What are you thinking…?
“——like that.”
“Eh?”
“Can you not talk badly about my ex-boyfriend like that?”
As the rest of us were frozen stiff, Aizawa-san showed an agitated glare towards Kei, and stormed out of the classroom. Because of this sudden development, the three of us exchanged glances. And then, despite being the instigator of the situation, Kei turned towards Wataru.
“Are you fine not chasing after her, Sajocchi~?”
“Hell no, I’m terrified.”
“What a chicken…But, I think you’re right this time.”
This late into the game, it sounded like Kei was actually being considerate of Aizawa-san, as she said this to Wataru. At the same time, Wataru gave a rather pathetic response, and looked towards the door Aizawa-san had run off to.
Am I the only one who doesn’t get it…? I can tell that Kei was giving this some proper thought, and didn’t just lash out on Aizawa-san. She was probably trying to see what Aizawa-san was plotting. If so, then maybe I shouldn’t be too considerate of her after all…
What about Wataru though? What are you thinking, hm? You’re not just fooling around anymore. Did you really fall in love with Aizawa-san…? Is that why you’re staying with her?