After talking with the top 2 girls on the vulgar speech ranking, Koga and Murata, my classmate and Goddess, Natsukawa, started to act off. With the end of my heated battle against Big Sis, my close associate (provisional) Ashida pulled me to this family restaurant, and after being cornered by my close associate (provisional), these words came out of my goddess. Thanks to that, I was reflexively about to cut off my finger like a Yakuza, which got me a troubled gaze from the female waitress.
Donât underestimate me and my love for Natsukawa over these past three years, Iâve been agonizing over and over, so something like this wonât kill me. O impure temptation luring at the bottom of my stomach, vanish this instant to return mine reality. HaaâŚHaaa aaah haaaaâŚ! Japanese math English physics history modern society politics psychologyâ
ââŚAlright, neutralised.â
âWhat exactly?â
By overruling my consciousness with reality, I managed to keep my energy and tension under controlâŚWhen youâre a veteran like me, this is like pre-breakfast. Itâs fine, no matter what Natsukawa might say or mean, I can bear with itâAh, crap, Iâm remembering it again.
ââŚFuhehe.â
âGrossâŚâ
ââŚâŚâ
We were still in the family restaurant. In such a locality, I found the greatest possible shock treatment. Namely, the verbal abuse of a classmate of mine. Despite my consciousness being blown across the clouds, that simple word dragged me down to reality. As a prize for that, I shall shed a few tears in pain. Sniff .
âSorry about this, I was just having a hallucination.â
âWell, I canât blame you for thatâŚAichi said it in a confusing way after all.â
ââSo, what was that about? I still feel the urge to shout out loud now.â
âDonât, youâll just bother everybody else.â
Grumble grumble grumbleâŚ! *Death Growl
I mean, a shout and death growl arenât too far apart, I guess. You might not be shouting, but the energy you emit is about the same, which is necessary for me to let out the shock. Then again, even if Natsukawaâs words didnât have any special meaning in them, just hearing them aloneâŚAhh, what happiness.
âSo, Sajocchi, about today.â
âEh? Weâre not done yet? Natsukawa is hiding her face, looking down.â
âItâs fine, this is Aichiâs limit right now. We wonât make any progress at this rate.â
Eh, really? Is this some mental problem? I kind of feel bad ignoring my idol Natsukawa despite her being right next to us. Can I not pat her on the head? I canât? You demon.
âLet me just get to the point. Aichi wants you to meet Ai-chan.â
âHuhâŚâŚâŚHm?â
Eh, who? Is she talking about Natsukawaâs little sister? Their names are so similar I couldnât tell what she was on about. Ashidaâs naming sense is questionable, alright. Her name is basically the same as Natsukawaâs. Itâs Airi-chan, rightâŚAiri-chan. Sounds like the name of a famous soccer playerâs wifeâŚYeah. Wait what?
âEh, why? Didnât she tell me that someone gross like me shouldnât approach Airi-chan because it would negatively influence her?â
âGaaah! Thereâs no way Aichi would really be feeling that way!â
âEh? Iâm not gross?â
âThis and that are different!â
âWhat am I supposed to feelâŚâ
Why didnât you just deny it this onceâŚI donât know if I should be happy or sad now. Iâm a human being, right? I have a hand to hold the rice bowl, alright? I can put back toilet paper on the holder in the toilet, you know? I can dry my hands after washing them. Iâm not that gross towards Natsukawa, rightâŚ? Can I just take it that she doesnât actually hate meâŚ? Or, are this and that different after all? What is itâŚ?
âLeaving aside that eternal debate or me being gross or not, what is going on? Natsukawa always said that she wonât let me meet her little sister. Since this was about her cute little sis, she was very adamant on that, and Iâve been trying not to bring it up again, soâŚâ
âEven if you say thatâŚA-Aichi, this is the first time I heard of this, you know?â
âUrkâŚâ
Ohh, the Goddess has recovered! She has returned! It is an honor to be in your presenceâWoah, her face looks like sheâs in pain. Maybe because Iâm gross after all? Iâve never seen that expression before.
âB-BecauseâŚI knew youâd get angry at me, KeiâŚâ
âOf course I would!? Denying his entire existence only to have him meet her either way!? How much of a contrary person can you be!?â
âU-UuuâŚâ
O-OhhâŚI donât really get it, but Ashida sure is aggressive towards Natsukawa today. Itâs a rare sight, especially because Ashida would always chase around Natsukawaâs tail, treating her like a saint.
âI-I told you, itâs because I didnât expect to be feeling this wayâŚ!â
âHuuuh!? Why are you getting angry at me now!?â
âAlright, calm down you two! Youâre starting to fight for real!â
We definitely canât be bothering the other people. See, that female employee is already looking over atâOver at me? Hold on, this isnât what you think this is. Donât give me that disgusting look, okay!?
Since it seemed like these two got fired up beyond the point of no return, I stood up and stopped them. Especially Natsukawa seemed like she was going out of control. If I didnât stop them right here, it felt like they might start fighting for real. Hence, I tried my best to break between the two.
âI-I donât really mind, no matter what you say to me! Iâll hear you out, so donât worry about it!â
âR-ReallyâŚ?â
âReally really!â
ââHmph.â
When I threw in a few words that basically accounted for nothing at all except convenience, Natsukawa showed a relieved and adorable face, as she looked me in the eyes. In response to that, Ashida let out a bothered snort. Thatâs almost like Iâm the usual Ashida. Natsukawa is me, and Ashida is Natsukawa. If I didnât know any better, Iâd assume that our bodies were swapped. That means Iâm a girl right now? HeheâŚAh, I really am gross.
But, that sure surprised me. So Natsukawa isnât entirely denying my existenceâŚI figured that rather than some basic affection, I had been in the minus all this time. Iâm so happy, but reality hasnât really set in that much.
âButâŚwhere did that come from? Did I do something to deserve that? Was that decision based on some fundamental investigation?â
âI-I wasnât investigating anything.â
âItâs between being gross or not. And, she apparently thought you were gross, but actually werenât, so she wants you to meet Ai-chan.â
Can you stop chanting gross gross gross all over the placeâŚEven if we werenât facing each other right now, hearing that over and over is making me twitch in pleasure, as I am a boy after all.
âT-Thatâs not true.â
âItâs not true!?â
It ainât true? So after getting my hopes up, you crushed them again? Thank you very much, that kind hurts.
âHaaaâŚâ
âUrkâŚ!â
Ashida let out an exhausted sigh. And indeed, it really sounded like that was directed at Natsukawa. Guess this is what she meant by not making any progress. If so, then I just have to ask a question that wonât allow any avoiding no matter what. I said something unnecessary before after all.
âYour change of heart doesnât matter right now. What Iâm curious about is that itâs not âI donât mind you meeting herâ, but rather âI want you to meet herâ. Is there some special reason for that?â
âT-ThatâsâŚâ
A-AhhâŚ! Natsukawa is blushing! So cute! Super duper cute! Is she embarrassed!? Donât show me that face! My brain wonât be able to handle the stimulus!
As my head was about to explode, the waitress brought the fries we ordered. Couldnât you have hurried up a bit more, itâs already this late, so barely anybody is here to eaâAh, itâs that employee again. Eeek, she glared at me.
âThatâsâŚwhat?â
âT-T-T-ThatâsâŚâ
Although we got interrupted by the employee bringing our food, Ashida didnât let up, questioning Natsukawa even further. Arenât you pressuring her a bit too much? Natsukawa isnât even embarrassed anymore, sheâs straight-up terrified. Look at her going pale.
ââki-kunâŚâ
âEhâŚ?â
âBecause Sasaki-kunâŚâ
âBecause Sasakin?â
âYou call him âSasakinââŚ?â
Sasaki, huhâŚI donât know why the handsome bastard of our class would come up here, but hearing it from the person you like sure doesnât feel great. Iâll spill some more facts about him to his little sister Yuki-chan next timeâŚ!
When I retorted on Ashidaâs choice of nickname, she glared at me with a âShut up for a secondâ. Iâm sorry, but your naming sense is just too wild. It took me by surprise there, to a level where Iâd be like âWho?â in the process. I mean, âSajocchiâ? Really?
ââBecause AiriâŚgot along with Sasaki-kunâŚand the others as wellâŚâ
ââŚâŚ?â
ââŚâŚâŚ?â
??? Isnât that great? Whatâs there to be angry about. I knew about some girls from our class visiting Natsukawaâs place, with Sasaki being the only boyâNow that I think about, Sasaki showed me that selfie with him and Airi-chan. Iâm sure the other girls must have taken pictures themselves. What a heartwarming scenery that must have been. That bastard Sasaki is trying to build a harem, I knew it.
âIs it that bad to take pictures?â
âN-Not really, butâŚâ
âThat reminds me, Ai-chan was trying really hard to remember everybodyâs names.â
âHuh~â
I can see Airi-chan surrounded by everyone, pat on the head, urged to remember their names. Must have been a lot of fun for her. You, Sasaki, leave.
The atmosphere from before had vanished, as now a comfortable mood reigned. Thanks to Airi-chan being an angel, even Ashida seemed to have relaxed a bit.
âSo, what about that.â Ashida continued.
âYou really snapped, huh.â
âShut up.â
Ouch ouch ouch! Donât grin your toes into my shin! That is some great personality you have there!
âS-SoâŚI thought it was âdifferentâ from what I imaginedâŚâ
âDifferentâŚ?â
In what way? From the way she made it sound, she wasnât satisfied, right? Natsukawa said that, as the reason that she didnât want me to meet Airi-chan, she was worried about me being a bad influence. Does that mean that this was the same for Sasaki and the others? And, since sheâs giving me permission, were these guys even worse than me? Just what did they doâŚ
âDo you regret having Sasaki and the others meet Airi-chan? Were they a bad influence after allâŚâ
âN-No, thatâs not true!â
âAh, I-I seeâŚâ
I couldnât see that cozy-type Shirai-san doing anything troublesome either. Iâm glad she didnât turn out to be like some toxic girl.
ââŚI get it.â
âEh?â
EhâŚ? You get it, Ashida? Hold on now, donât leave me behind. Why are you crossing your arms like you arrived at the solution? Is this the kind that wonât make sense if youâre a man? Is this the maidenâs heart they always mention? Can some loner that sits in the corner of the classroom, namely me, even understand that?
I cold sweat ran down my back, as my eyes met with Ashidaâs. She must have caught on to me panicking internally, as she let out a sigh. Excuse me, but that really hurt.
ââYou couldnât accept that, right? Ai-chan left aside the person closest to you and got along with everybody else, and that certain someone wasnât even there in the first place.â
ââŚUrgh.â
ââŚExcuse me?â
âAnd, you happened to see Sajocchi in Sasakin.â
âS-Stop it alreadyâŚâ
ââŚWhat?â I failed to understand this sudden development.
That almost makes it sound like she has positive affection towards me. Impossible, that should not be the case. After all, everything Iâve done so far is annoying Natsukawa in every way possible.
âListen, Sajocchi, I donât get everything myself, but I heard from Aichi. This very morning, the plan of âSajocchi meeting Ai-chanâ was already written in stone in her head. Thatâs why she was so severe all day. Because you werenât giving Aichi any attention, not coming to talk to her at all.â
âEhâŚ?â
I donât get it. The words reaching my ears I failed to digest. Calm down, and analyze the situation. Natsukawa wants me to meet Airi-chan. I donât know the definite reason, but it was something she decided on, which is why she came talk to me all these times today. But, being pulled along during lunch break, and having her strangle me on the rooftop, why was that? Is it because she couldnât stand me talking to Murata and Koga? But, why would she care about me to such an extentâŚ?
âEh? Natsukawa, is thisâŚâ
ââhome.â
âEh?â
âIâm going home!!â
âHuh!? Ah! Natsukawa! Wait!â
Natsukawa suddenly jolted up. With a beet red face, she stormed out of the family restaurant, leaving behind her bag even. Since sheâs heading to school by foot, her family must be home at this point, so I donât have to worry about being locked out of her houseâŚ
ââŚâŚâ
ââŚâŚâ
I stood up to reach for her arm in an attempt to stop her, but froze up. Isnât this pretty bad? From an outsiderâs perspective, it must seem like I was dumped by my lover. No wait, with Ashida here, isnât that even worse? They will think Iâm two-timing, right?
ââŚU-Um, dear customer?â
âAh, weâll be leaving. Sajocchi, money.â
ââŚAight.â
Unable to say anything, Ashida just stole my wallet from me, and finished paying for our meal and drinks. I on the other hand went to grab everyoneâs bags, and followed after her. I tried to get a better idea of what even just happened, but that failed. I can only take it for what I experienced. That however had my head spinning. I only got a hang on my memories by the time we left the family restaurant, walking down a street with no other people around.
ââŚAll I remember is Natsukawa being super cuteâŚâ
âPlease try to remember the rest, even if it hurts.â
âAlright then.â
It started to get dark outside, so I tried to be nice and offered to send her off, only to get a âThen until the street lightâ back. I wanted to be an actual handsome and polite guy for once, but now I just feel hurt. I was just walking down the street.
âDo I really have to hold all this shit? Especially Ashidaâs sports bag weighing down my arms. Thereâs definitely volleyballs in there, right? For every step I take, itâs hitting my buttâŚAlso, do you take volleyballs home from school? Is that normal?
ââYou must have figured it out with that, Sajocchi.â
âW-What exactly?â
âThat Aichi doesnât really think of you as gross as it seems. Being told all these years, it started to become something like a greeting, but never too serious, right?â
âI really thought she was serious all this time. Not to mention that this is no proof that Natsukawa doesnât hate me.â
âRight~ But, Aichi must feel the same way. Like âHm? Hmm???â, you know.â
âWhatâs up with thatâŚâ
âYou might be fine with that, Sajocchi. After all, you say whatever you want to. But, you really should not forget about this, no matter what.â
ââŚâŚ?â
ââSajocchi, to Aichi, youâre already a member of our group. This is the place you belong to.â
ââŚâŚâ
I saw the street light. Ashida accepted her own bag as well as Natsukawaâs share. Having been freed, Ashida slammed ther sports bag into me.
âWhat was that for?â
âItâs not about the location and how comfortable you feel. As long as thereâs someone who will like you, youâll definitely be happy. Even if youâre gross, and annoying, it will still give you enough confidence.â
âSo Iâm still disgusting in the end?â
âIf someone suddenly lost the place they belong to, theyâd be shocked, and anxious.â
ââŚâŚâ
Ashida left these words behind, slamming the bag into me again, and walked away. I should have been annoyed, but she was grinning to herself for some reason. In the end, she never once denied the fact that Iâm gross. Thatâs what annoys me the most, Ashida.
ââŚGuess Iâll buy some steamed buns.â
It was a fresh summer night. The widget on my smartphone screen said it was 27°C. It should have felt warm, and yet my body felt cold with no sweat to be found.
*
In the entrance, the shoes of my family were lined up. In the midst of these were even my old manâs shoes, not having been cleaned for a while. I took out shoe-cleaning cream from the shoe box, and put it next to his leather shoes. I ainât cleaning those, theyâre dirty.
When I opened the door to the living room, I had the kitchen and dining room to my left, whereas to the right stood the TV and two sofas. The inside of my head was still blank to a level where I couldnât remember what I usually did after coming home.
âWhat are you doing? At least tell us youâre back.â
âYeah, Iâm homeâŚâ
Mom was busy doing the dishes, so I headed towards the TV. Yeah, normally Iâd just throw around my student bag, fall onto the sofa, andâ
ââYou donât need to reenact exactly what I said this afternoon, you know.â
ââŚShut up.â
On the sofa that had its back to the entrance, there was already someone inhabiting it. Said person was rolling around on it, fidgeting on her smartphone. One sock had already been flung off, whereas the other still somewhat held onto her foot. If I had to guess, sheâs probably as careless with the handsome guys of the student councilâthe K4. Me? I feel nothing.
Seeing her all listless like that, I couldnât hold back a grin.
ââSorry about before Big Sis. I said too much.â
âHuhâŚ? YouâŚâ
I handed her a plastic bag, and after seeing the steamed buns inside, Big Sis showed a complicated expression. What, you not gonna eat them? You love âem, right? Stuff your cheeks full with your favorite steam buns, bought by your younger brother, and play with your phone some more. Hoi hoi hoi.
ââŚD-Donât want them.â
ââŚHmmm.â
Thinking about it, sheâs eaten so many, I wouldnât be surprised if the scale screamed back at her. I donât wanna see that, so Iâll just eat them myself~
ââIf anything, I went too far.â
âNo, thatâsâŚâ
Hey now, why are you giving me that guilty look like a puppy. You always do this to me! Why are you suddenly acting like âIâm not normally like thisâ, hm? Donât throw your sock at me!
âSo, whatâd you do with these girls?â
âCan you not make it sound like something happened?â
âNutting happened? Donât give me that, youâre just spacing out.â
UrkâŚ! First she apologizes, and then sheâs interrogating me. You telling me to respond just like that? After being worried about my youth like that, itâs really hard to answerâŚ
ââŚNo idea. Thereâs way too many things, it feels like Iâm in a trance.â
âHuh, I see. Not like I care.â
Donât give me the crap, youâre definitely curious, you darn Big Sis. Just by thinking that sheâs worried about me, but canât openly say it, I feel itchy all over.
ââŚRight, I have something to say myself.â
âW-What is itâŚâ
âBefore you worry about others, how about taking care of your own stuff? All four of the student council members? Really? As your younger brother, I donât know how to really react to that.â
âWhaâŚ!? T-Thatâs not even the case! They donât reallyâŚ!â
ââŚWell, knowing you, youâll definitely choose someone at the right time, but I know of a guy who stopped differentiating reality from fantasies. You should probably deal with this while youâre still in the right mindset.â
I donât want anything to do with trouble, but circumstances change if itâs related to my family. I donât want the air at home to be insufferable. Iâll use this chance to say everything I want to.
ââNom!!â
âAhâŚ!?â
Big Sis leaned forward to take a big bite from the steamed bun I was holding. In shock, I let go of the steamed bun, which immediately vanished in Big Sisâ mouth. You damn gluttonâŚhow can you fit all of thatâŚ!
âHmâŚMomamomam!â
âWhat are you even talking about!?â
âMmm!?â
Right as a bit of steamed bun was about to fall out of her mouth, her squishing her cheeks together, I took a row of pictures with my smartphone. Big Sis panicked and hid her face, escaping from the living room. Soon enough, I can make a living by selling these pictures to the K4.
A bit after that, Big Sis returned to the living room with an iron bat, and I seriously thought I was going to die.