âAnd with this begins the 49th Cultural Festival of our Private Kouetsu High SchoolâBrand New World ~Onwards to a new genesis~!â
This voice came from the specifically created stage located in the gym hall. Standing atop there was the president of the cultural festival executive committee Hasegawa-senpai, holding a microphone as she declared this for all of the students and visitors present. Not like it matters much, but seeing a diligent girl with glasses be all happy like that really makes you think âAh, cute,â doesnât it? Especially since her loud voice is a lot more adorable than I assumed.
As the theme of this yearâs festival focuses mainly on progress and new innovations, weâve got a lot of attractions offered to visitors. Our class with its Riddle Tournament is using these self-made buttons that need to be pressed when you want the answer, and we even made these silk hats that blow off when you answer (but arenât going to be used in the main event). The third-years have a lot of classic stuff, whereas the second-years took it one step further than us. Though I donât know how much you can qualify a mini four-wheel drive event as futuristic.
Ironically enough, the procedures of the executive committee during the preparation practically smelled like âTradition over everything,â but once everything got started, it went a lot smoother. I guess Iâve still got a bit of attachment to the committee in a different way from Natsukawa. Iâll just cross my arms and appreciate their growth. The opening program finally ended, with the orchestra and wind instrument club doing a collaboration concert. From here on out, students and visitors will be moving independently. If you stay here, you can watch some more of the concert, with a performance from the light music club right after. Since Iâve got my shift right away, I gotta step out, though.
*
âNext question! Which animal can you find in a bath?!â
âHere it is! A capybara!â
âNo.â
âAhn, so cold!â
The grade school student next to me started laughing. And so did the parents standing in the back of the classroom. I bet itâs a pretty funny sight to see someone with a dog costume and hood over his head get rejected like this. I know I shouldnât be saying this, but our classâs riddle tournament is messed up. Points are only given to the person answering the question, and my job as the seat filler isnât any special, I just have to act like an idiot without guessing the right answer. And the girl acting as the host then will make fun of me. The main goal is simply to give the participants and viewers a good laugh. Though I donât know why Iihoshi-san chose me as the only seat filler like this.
âCongratulations! Hereâs your price.â
âYaaaay!â
Dressing as a witch, Shirai-san handed a young boy a plastic bag with a Halloween design, which was filled with snacks. He then returned to his mother with a bright smile. Heh, what a child he is. If it was me, Iâd take Shirai-san over the snacks. For the event itself, youâve got five people participating, including me. The person who presses the button first and delivers the correct answer then gets a prize, and the next group of people moves up on stage. This allows for a larger number of people to participate, making it more worthwhile to stick around a bit. And as far as Iâve heard, buying all the snacks was the most expensive part of all of this.
âHere you go, Yamazaki. And donât accidentally guess the right answer, okay?â
âHow do you even achieve that? No way Iâm guessing it correctly in the first place.â
âAnd Iâm scared of that.â
Moving through the curtain, I reached the backside of the classroom, where I met up with Yamazaki, who wore a wolf costume, giving him a bit of confidence. I donât think heâd be able to answer correctly, but Iâm scared he might start some weird competition with the children and just blurt out the correct answer. Well, that actually doesnât sound as bad. I can already see him being turned into minced meat by the host.
âSorry, Sajou-kun. I couldnât come up with a better way to make fun of youâŠâ
âUm, itâs fine. I wasnât getting any kicks out of this, anyway.â
Iihoshi-san seemed a bit dejected as she approached me with this apology. I mean, her simple âWrongâ sure was lacking punch, butâŠweâre not some comedy show here. No use apologizing about that. How high was she aiming for this, anyway? Then again, apologizing even for this is just like her when she does work as the class rep. And after the preparations for this event started, I could clearly see that a switch was flipped within the girls. And I donât know why sheâd think Iâm the best guy for this kind of jester mood.
Once all of the seat fillers of the morning were done, namely me, Yamazaki, Nakazato, and Iwata, weâd have a new group of people taking up the mantle during the afternoon. I think itâs just my imagination here, but it seems like theyâre upping the visuals quite a lot compared to the morning, especially after the third pair of host and seat filler. Maybe Iâm just seeing things.
âSajou-kunâŠâ
âAh, Master. Good work with the riddles.â
âI-Iâm no masterâŠâ
Ichinose-san was one of the people preparing these riddles. The majority of the girls just looked them up online or asked for suggestions on social networks, but Ichinose-san came up with roughly thirty original ones, which created a legend of its own. I personally know Ichinose-san quite well, so itâs not that much of a surprise, but the other folks from our class only saw her up recently, which created this âOh, isnât Ichinose-san pretty amazing?â kind of mood, and started calling her Master.
âIâd preferâŠif you keep it like before.â
âAh, right. Sorry, Ichinose-san.â
Seeing her reject me this swiftly had me flustered. I was thinking that maybe she was a bit clingy when it came to me but after that whole âSajocchi Lapâ incident, I feel like sheâs keeping a bit of space between usâŠ? I previously sent her a message completely ignoring what had happened to avoid any awkward tension between us, but it feels like she built up a small wall between usâŠ
âSasaki-sanâs coming in the afternoon, right? After eating lunch?â
ââŠâŠâ
ââŠUm, Ichinose-san?â
She seemed bashful at me calling her Master, not even directly looking at me. Did she really hate it that much? Personally, Iâd love to keep calling her that. But if sheâs that angryâŠ
ââŠCute.â
âHuh?â
ââŠDoggie.â
Youâre the cute one, dangit. Ah, that was close. I almost reflexively hit on her. Iâm utterly incorrigible, huh? My old habits just wonât die, no matter what I do. At the same time, Ichinose-san stretched out her arm and gently caressed my costume. Even her melted smile is adorable. Better be careful, or Iâll cup a feel of you, Ichinose-sanâŠâŠMan, Iâm so gross.
âAre you gonna keep wearing this?â
âN-No, I donât think I willâŠâ
Iâm nearly not cute enough to be walking around looking like this, either. Ichinose-san seems to like it, but Ashida just laughed at me. Iâd much rather prefer it if Ichinose-san wore it. Ask a hundred people, they would all agree with me.
âNuh-uh, donât take it off. You gotta walk around while wearing it.â
âHuh?â
Right as I was about to take off the costume, my former partner and host Iihoshi-san stopped me. And I feel like I just said something outrageous, but that was just my imagination, right?
âSajou-kun, youâre walking around the festival with Mina-chan and that junior, right? Then keep that costume on and advertise our class. Itâs even got 1-C written on the back.â
âHuh? Shouldnât I give this to the next seat filler?â
âWe got two more costumes, so taking away one should be fine. Just make sure to get us more people.â
âAh, heyâŠ!â
She closed all the buttons I had just opened, pushed my back, and forced me out of the classroom. All of this happened way too fast, my head couldnât keep up. Excuse me, butâŠwhat face should I even make when walking past people?
âUm, Sajou-kunâŠâ
âIchinose-san, perfect timingâŠ!â
âEeekâŠ?!â
I didnât hesitate to grab Ichinose-sanâs arm and pull her closer to me. Standing around all alone while looking like this is way too painfulâŠ! I just need her by my side, no ulterior motives involved!
âLetâsâŠget showered with gazes together!â
âAhhhhhâŠ!â Ichinose-sanâs eyes started spinning.
I can tell she doesnât know how to handle the situation. However, I have no intention of letting her escape. Weâd planned to walk around together as the three of us once we meet up with Sasaki-san anyway, so it should be fine, right? Right?
âOh yeah, talking about Sasaki-san.â
Time to pick her up. Thatâll balance the gazes directed at us a bit more. After all, Sasaki-san is a middle school student cosplaying as a middle school student. Everyoneâs gazes will be glued to her. I will look for sure. And speaking of the devil, Ichinose-sanâs smartphone rang.
âAh, Fuuka-chan.â
âShe sent you a message?â
âYeahâŠShe seems to be here already, looking for us.â
âSeriously? I wouldâve gone to the front gate to pick her up. Where is she right nowâHuh?â
Right as I asked that question, I felt somebody touch my shoulder. This isâŠthis youthful gestureâŠand the modest act of not calling out to meâŠThereâs no mistaking it, it must be Sasaki-san who just foundââ
ââWhereâs Onii-chan?â
Wrong SasakiâŠ! On the outside, she looked like your average girl, but I can see the abyss deep inside her eyes. I was afraid she might just suck me up with her deep gaze. And the Eye of the Evil Dragon belonged to todayâs special guest, the one and only broconâSasaki Yuki-chan. A pleasure to have you here.
âHello? Can you hear me? Whereâs Onii-chan?â
âOh, Yuki-chan. Havenât seen you since I went to your place to play games with Sasaki. How you doinâ?â
âWhereâs Onii-chan?â
I tried to at least greet her properly, but Yuki-chan is still the same Yuki-chan as I remember her. I guess she doesnât even care about me, or anybody but her brother for that matter. Not to mention that her bright brown hair was ruffled up through a faint breeze coming from somewhere, which made it look like a beagleâs ears moving up and down, trying to rush me further. And yet her bangs werenât swaying at all. Just what kind of method was she using? Now Iâm curious about the abilities and techniques here in Japan. Oh wellâŠ
ââŠSasakiâs walking around with people from his soccer club.â
âHuh? Why did you sigh just now? Makes no sense.â
âAt least greet your fellow humans, okay?â
Miss Yuki-chan didnât even bother hiding her annoyance as she sent me a sharp, displeased gaze. So far, around 80% of the conversation has just been âOnii-chan.â Itâs honestly terrifying. Even Ichinose-san managed to hold a better conversation with her customers when she just started working. And todayâs TED talk is this: How To Stop A Brocon. I have no idea or proof that my hypothesis will work.
âUmâŠâ
âAh, Ichinose-san, let me introduce you. This is Yuki-chan. Remember Sasaki from our class? Sheâs that guyâs sister and a genuine brocon.â
ââŠBroconâŠâ
âAhâŠâ
Hearing my introduction, Ichinose-san awkwardly averted her gaze. This reaction made me realizeâŠthat sheâs actually a brocon, too. They were just far too different, I completely forgot about it. Then again, Ichinose-san doesnât leave the territory of being siblings. Sheâs the type of brocon I can appreciate.
âThat guy? How dare you address Onii-chan this lightly.â
âHeâs my classmate, remember? In fact, I think Iâm spending more time with him than you do, Yuki-chan.â
âHuuuh? Are you picking a fight with me?â
âI donât mind. But Sasakiâs gonna be the one to pay for it.â
âGrrrâŠâ
âDonât growl at me.â
She seems utterly furious. It might be fine since itâs me, but if this was Ichinose-san, things would definitely go in all the wrong directions. Seems at least fine as long as itâs a guy teasing herâŠRight? She at least looked awfully furious, as she stomped on the ground several times. Iâd very much appreciate it if she stopped hurting this school and my holy place of learning. Hey, stop making that face! You look like some evil NPC straight out of the Yakuza series! Thatâs not the sorta face a middle school girl like you should be showing in public. After she glared at me for a moment, her face now moved over to look at Ichinose-san, her expression growing even more aggressive.
âAnd she? Is she my enemy?â
The fact I even understand what she even means by âenemyâ is honestly terrifying to me. What if I agreedâŠ? Iâm a bit curious, but I can already see Ichinose-san crying as a result of that, so I decided against it.
âSheâs notâŠGeez.â
âAgain. You sighed again. Do you have a grudge when it comes to me, Sajou-san? I wonât ever talk to you again, okay? Do you want your messages blocked?â
âOh, you really said that? I donât have to tell you what Sasaki is doing at school anymore?! Hell yeah!â
âAh, wait. Iâm just kidding. Why are you so happy? Shouldnât you beg me to not block you with tears in your eyes? Arenât you a bit too impudent?â
âThe impudent one is you!â
âGyah?! Stop ruffling through my hair!â
I fully ran out of patienceâŠor maybe at least a little bit, so I stopped trying to be nice to that girl who has about zero respect for her elders. Be it brocon or yandere, I shall show no mercy and punish her with a hair-ruffling attack.
âYouâŠWhat if Onii-chan sees me with my messy hair?!â
âYou can have him fix it for you!â
âHaâŠ! I didnât even think about that!â
Despite her having a gloomy look as default, sheâs got such a wide range of expressions. Well, her face and words just donât match up. Sheâs like Conan dancing. And I feel like she might actually start dancing if Sasaki ordered her to.
âUm, Sajou-kun, we really shouldâŠâ
âRight. Gotta pick up Sasaki-san. Donât have time with the lesser Sasaki.â
âHuh? Did you just treat me and Onii-chan as second-class citizens?â
âI sure as hell didnât!â
âSeriouslyâŠIf heâs not in his classroom and not with you either, I can only give him a call.â
âI swearâŠheâs got it rough, huh?â
Now I genuinely feel bad for brother Sasaki. I decided to ignore these siblings however and looked at my phone. There was still no new message from Sasaki-san. When I think of her walking around the school while searching for us, I can feel my chest tighten. I shouldnât waste my time on this yandere of a brocon. Yuki-chan was currently busy looking at her phone screen after putting it to her ear, so I gave her a few final words.
âAnyway, we gotta go now. I think his group was pretty large in comparison, so he should be somewhere out in the open. Good luck searching for him.â
âWait a second.â
âAgh!â
Right as I turned my back towards her, a small hand appeared at my side, latching onto my solar plexus which sucked all the air out of my lungs. Why did she have to stop me like that? It felt like she had my life in the palm of her hand. Is this some sort of martial art? If we were the opposite sex, she would be fondling my boobs right now. Can I call this sexual harassment?
âWhat now? If you got serious, Iâm sure you could sniff out Sasaki no problem, right?â
âWhat do you even think of me? I canât do that in such a crowded place.â
I guess even an ultra brocon like Yuki-chan doesnât have the ability to sniff outâHold on. Pause. So she could do that if there werenât as many people around? Since I can figure out Natsukawaâs location in a 50-meter radius, it sure as hell doesnât sound impossible now.
âOkay, okay. What do you want now?â
âOnii-chan doesnât answer my calls. What is going on?â
âWhy are you asking me that? Maybe heâs too busy with his soccer club friends?â
âNo, Iâm sure heâs walking around the festival with some random woman. Unlike you, heâs very handsome, after all. Thereâs no way he wouldnât be with a girl if you can even score, Sajou-san.â
âWhy are you comparing yet at the same time insulting me to him? Do you even have any fiber of humanity left in you that isnât directed at your brother? Why am I not allowed to spend my time with a girl when he isnât? Also, why donât you have a bit more confidence in your brother if you like him this much?â
âCould you please not generalize my love for Onii-chan into some lexical term? Not even the gods can give this feeling a name.â
âIâm sorry, Iâm not into your weird religious nonsense. Letâs go, Ichinose-san.â
âY-YesâŠAh.â
âHuh?â
Guess all I can do is break free from this by force. But right as I made that decision, I heard Ichinose-san let out a faint gasp as she looked straight ahead. I followed along when I spotted a certain university girl walking toward us while looking aroundâŠOh, she found us first, huh?
âUmâŠAh! Sajou-senpai, Mina-senpai!â
âSasaki-sanâŠâŠWait, Senpai?â
The second our eyes met, her face lit up with a dazzling smile. I was gonna respond in fashion, but the way she addressed me had me stuttering. Did she always call me Senpai? I mean, she would do it from time to time to tease me, but this officiallyâŠ
âShe always calls you that way when we talk during work, you knowâŠ?â
âOh, really?â
Ichinose-san must have guessed what I was thinking and delivered an explanation. We have been texting since then, but we didnât have many chances to actually meet up latelyâŠI guess she just changed her way of addressing me while talking to Ichinose-san. Sheâs doing the same for her, after allâŠHold on. When they talk during work? So they talk about me when Iâm not around? Man, now Iâm curious.
âItâs been a while, Sajou-senpai!â
âTell me about it. Youâre looking even more mature than last time I saw you.â
âHehe, Mom and I prepared these clothes just for today!â
âYou look like a genuine high school student now.â
Sasaki-san wasnât wearing her uniform from Mishirohama Middle School, but a casual outfit fitting the season. I really donât think youâd see a middle school student wearing that, but if her mother coordinated that outfit, then it makes a lot more sense.
âAnd Mina-senpai, too! Youâve got such a gentle air to you!â
âG-GentleâŠ?â
âYour bangs! Normally youâve kept them opened up!â
âAh, umâŠâ
âWaaah! Mina-senpai being flustered is so adorable!â
Ichinose-san seemed embarrassed that Sasaki-san saw her with her bangs down, as she hid her face. Canât blame Sasaki-san for being all excited. I canât process all of thisâŠ! First, Ichinose-san! I agree that her hiding herself is absolutely adorable! Next, Sasaki-san! Being so excited you jump in joy makes you look like a middle school student, so stop it! Weâve got young children here watching youâŠOh wait, sheâs actually in middle school. The way her body moves when she jumps up and down is way too stimulating. UpâŠdownâŠupâŠOkay, stop. Weâre gonna be walking around the school together from now on, I canât be feeling this way.
And as if that wasnât enough, the two were now playing a game of catch with me as the pillar in the middle. Whenever they accidentally bumped into me, I felt a rush of joy filling me up. Yeah, I should just accept this and be happy about it. As an adolescent boy, it would be rude to turn my eyes away from this. One more round, please?
âGeez! You donât have to run away from me likeâHuh?â
ââŠWha?â
Right as I fully accepted that Sasaki-san was a middle school student, which completely awakened my slumbering father tendencies, she suddenly came to a halt as she clung to my left arm. Are you really gonna stop there? I canât move, you know? Any slight movement would just be rude.
âWait, are youâŠYuki-chan?â
âHuh? Fuuka-chan?â
Hold on, these two know each other? Yuki-chan and Sasaki-san looked at each other, seemingly confused and surprised. Well, theyâre around the same age, so it wouldnât be weird for them to have met before. Especially since their family name is the same.
âIs that really you, Yuki-chan?â
âFuuka-chanâŠ? Why are you looking like thatâŠâ
âR-Right back at youâŠYou seem so differentâŠâ
âŠHm? Something doesnât feel so right, here. They donât seem too happy they ran into each other. Looking like thatâŠSeeming different? Is there anything weird about them? Theyâre both the golden standard in my eyes.
âIchinose-san, do you know anything?â
ââŠâ
Ichinose-san observed the two from behind my back, shaking her head horizontally. She seems to feel like something isnât quite right and is worried. Aw man, I wanna protect her so bad. My father tendencies are gonna explode. I wanna give her a snack.
âDo you two know each other?â
âHuhâŠ?! Y-Yes! Weâre both from the same middle school, and we were even in the same class last year.â
âWhaâŠYuki-chan, youâre from Mishirohama?â
âWhy do you sound so shocked? Thatâs a bit rude, isnât it? Do you have a problem with me being from there? Iâm Onii-chanâs younger sister, remember? You should have expected that.â Yuki-chan gave me a sharp glare as she looked up at me.
Iâm scared. Iâm really scared, help meâŠShe looks like sheâs gonna take a stun gun out of her bag simply for self-protection means. Or maybe an anti-crime bell. If she pulled that off here, Iâd get kicked out of school in an instant. AlsoâŠshe actually is from the same school? ThatâŠaw man, that just completely ruined my image of that school. I thought it was a school full of princesses like Sasaki-san. Yet when I look at this yandere brocon beauty, I suddenly lose all respect.
âOhâŠwowâŠYuki-chan is talking so much.â
âWha, Fuuka-chanâŠ!â
Right as my world was shaken, Yuki-chan started to panic as well. Itâs rare to see her this emotional. It felt like all the darkness in her eyes was dispelled, I almost doubted my eyes.
âHold on, so Yuki-chan doesnât talk much at school?â
âYes! Sheâs like a kuudere, silent and beautiful!â
âKuudere.â
âFuuka-chanâŠ?!â
I did not expect that word to come out of Sasaki-sanâs mouth. I suddenly donât feel like living in this world anymore. Also, Yuki-chan as a kuudere? Not a yandere? What coolness does she have to make the cool in kuudere? Right now, all I can see is her as the cheeky little sister of a romcom protagonist.
âAre you putting up an act or something?â
âN-Not at all! I just donât have any interest in anybody but Onii-chan!â
âIâd appreciate it if you didnât scream that out loud in a public place like this.â
All the people around us suddenly looked in our direction. Young, old, man, woman, it didnât matter. Can you stop trying to become a yandere-type little sister? I feel like jamming devices for wiretaps are gonna be selling like hot potatoes in a few years. I feel like security companies are gonna choose her as their next ambassador. Maybe a plush toy that sits in the corner of the room, which can suddenly fire beams from its eyes.
Though, it kinda makes sense. Since itâs a girlsâ middle school, sheâs got no way to be with Sasaki. That would explain why sheâs not going full nutjob at school. And if you take away her brocon tendencies, then sheâs just like any other cheeky girl who has no interest in others.
âS-So what about you, Fuuka-chan?! What are those clothesâŠWhen did you start wearing these kinds of mature outfits? Last time we met, you wore something even a grade school student wouldââ
âWaaaaaah! Stop! Stop stop stop!â Sasaki-san panicked and covered Yuki-chanâs mouth with her hands.
Now of all times, she suddenly looked like a university student to me, which made the whole scene look much more dangerous. Following that, Sasaki-san glanced over at Ichinose-san. The reason she doesnât bother much with my reaction is probably that I already knew about that fact. She said it when we went to that shop last summer break. That being said, since I actually have never seen her wearing those types of clothes, I canât help but feel frustrated. If I was all alone, I would have stomped on the ground in anger.
âUmâŠâ Ichinose-san looked at me like she didnât know what to do.
It seems like this situation was too much for her to handle. Especially since this is her first time meeting Yuki-chan. Itâs like the friend of a friend you donât know suddenly appeared. And knowing Ichinose-san, thatâs probably the type she canât deal with the most.
âIt seems theyâre both just confused at seeing a completely new side they hadnât witnessed before.â
ââŠâŠâ
Ichinose-san seemed to agree with my evaluation as she looked at the two. Then again, Iâm not much better, since I only know Yuki-chan as the yandere brocon. I had no idea her pupils could even hold this much light in themâŠThe way I see it, and the way they address each other, it seems like they at least arenât close enough to spend every day together. Maybe on the level of being seat neighbors? If we took Yuki-chan with us from here on out, it might force Sasaki-san to step into the background. As a common friend, itâs my duty to handle this.
âAnyway, now that Sasaki-san found us, we should probably head off.â
âHuh?â
âGood luck finding your brother, Yuki-chan. If you get hit on, make sure to use your hidden blade or stun gun or chains to protect yourself.â
Sasaki-san simply looked at me in shock. Itâs fine, she can make it on her own. Knowing her, sheâll do everything in her power, even if it means crossing the law and the morals of society. This is where our adventure truly startsâŠ!
âNow wait a second. Iâm not letting you escape.â
âWhyyy?!â
She grabbed my arm, not letting go. Normally, Iâd be grinning to myself at such excessive physical contact, but all I could feel right now was terror and dread with a mixture of annoyance. The last part is giving me shivers. I feel like as long as radio waves are able to reach me, thereâs no escaping her. My luck ran out the second I exchanged numbers with her. Any resistance was futile. If I attempt anything, Iâll have handcuffs on my wrists before I can blink.
âYou seriously plan on leaving a middle school girl all alone in a crowd of people like this? Onii-chan would never do such a thing. Also, itâd be much more effective for me to tag along with you instead of wildly running around to search for Onii-chan, which is why I wonât let you go without me.â
âTh-Thatâs right! Sajou-senpai, we canât leave her aloneâŠâ
âHuh? Didnât you study the entire map to figure out where Sasaki could be going?â
âHe doesnât have that many possibilities, so thereâs no need.â
So even Yuki-chan couldnât memorize the entire layout of this festival. Well, that makes senseâŠDepending on the character you use in Resident Evil, the map layout could be entirely different, so I get it.
ââŠâ
âSajou-senpai, you donât need to make such a bothered faceâŠâ
âThis person is quite annoyingâŠâ
With how much Yuki-chan prioritizes her brother, I can already see myself getting wrapped up in all sorts of trouble. I was really looking forward to enjoying the fluffy, happy-go-lucky mood given to me by walking around the school with Ichinose-san and Sasaki-san, so I canât really hide my disappointment. And the second we ran into Yuki-chan, I feel like sheâs been starting to steal the leader position from meâŠHold on, does she think Iâm another of those sheep that need guidance?! Well, I donât mind if itâs her, tehe~
ââŠWell, you can tag along while we show you around, Sasaki-san, I guess. Weâll find your brother at some point, and then he can pick you up, no biggie.â
âPick me up? Heâs going to free me from your devilish hands, of course.â
âAll right, maybe Iâll just leave you here insteadâŠâ
âNow, nowâŠâ Sasaki-san whispered into my ear to pacify me.
Sheâs treating me like a horseâŠNot bad. I bet sheâd look great as a jockey. Iâve had plenty of experience with Airi-chan, so I think I wouldnât mind having her hop on my back as I waltz alongâŠAnd sheâll slap me with her whip? O-OhâŠ? GULP