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The Key Smile
“…I guess we should head home as well.”
“……”
“……”
“……?”
After silence returned, it felt like the storm had passed us, and the exhaustion I forgot for the past few minutes all came back rushing to me. I just wanted to go home and sleep. That’s why I proposed for us to disband as well, but neither of the two gave me a proper response.
“Um…Eek!”
Thinking that something was off, I turned around, only to spot Natsukawa and Ashida looked at me with half-opened eyes. I felt all the air vanish from my lungs. The pressure is insane.
“…A university girl, huh~”
“Ah, no, that was just my misunderstanding!”
“I wonder~” Ashida averted her eyes.
It felt like the more I said, the worse my position would become. So, I just stayed silent. In order to get my position back in this plane of existence, I need to change the mood—or just run away.
“—Huh?”
I prepared to head home, but my bag on the bench had vanished. In there’s my wallet, so I need that.
“N-Natsukawa! Do you know where my bag—Eh?”
In a panic, I turned towards Natsukawa, but she still gave me a dubious look. Her appearance changed ever so slightly compared to before. On top of her lap, slightly showing off her white thighs, I found it. My bag stood on her thighs, almost like it was saying ‘I’m the new Airi-chan now’. It was in such holy territory, I had no chance of grabbing it. That’s not fair, Natsukawa. Also, you damn bag.
“Here.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“……”
“…Um.”
She handed it to me normally. I reached out for it with my hand, but…Weird? Natsukawa-san is showing no signs of letting it go herself? Um, what is this about? Am I being teased here? Or, is she declaring war on me? ‘Take it if you can’ style? But, her face definitely says otherwise…Why does she look that bothered?
“—A university girl, huh.”
“Urk…”
The exact same phrase Ashida told me not too long ago. And yet, the damage was much greater, directly about to crush my heart and mentality. Unable to bear with the pain, I had to hold down my chest.
“…Idiot.”
Thus, I could only nod, as I was indeed an idiot.
*
With Ashida’s indifferent ‘Alright, we should head home as well’, Natsukawa stood up from the bench. I stayed silent throughout that, and just followed them for about twenty minutes. It felt like I was being dragged to court. Well, I am a pervert after all.
“I’m heading off here.”
We arrived at a split road, and Ashida apparently would be taking a different route from here. Oh yeah, I think that Ashida’s house was in the exact opposite as Natsukawa’s. The family restaurant we split at isn’t too far from here.
“Then, see you soon, Aichi! You too I guess, Sajocchi!”
“You guess? Unnecessary.”
“…”
“…Natsukawa?”
I threw in a retort to the familiar diss coming from Ashida when I saw Natsukawa raise her hand, but didn’t say anything. Something felt off. It seemed like she was forcing herself to say goodbye.
“Ahh…you’re so cute, Aichi~”
“…?”
Despite that, Ashida seemed happy more than anything to see this kind of expression from Natsukawa, as yet again a rosy atmosphere entered my eyes. I really don’t mind seeing such a yuri scene unfold in front of me, but this time I was just lost on what was going on.
“Aichi~ Let’s go hang out sometime. Together with Ai-chan~”
“Ah…”
Ashida invited Natsukawa out to play. As a result of that, Natsukawa showed an expression like she had been saved from something, and smiled happily. Isn’t that too big of a change? Aren’t they, a bit, you know? Especially Ashida, guessing exactly what Natsukawa wanted to hear, are you some womanizer? You better not be in that kind of relationship, alright…Anyway, go on, more. Can I take some pictures while you’re at it?
…Eh? So what, Natsukawa was that lonely? Ashida’s pretty busy with her club, so I doubt they’ll soon find a time for them to meet up…As the (self-proclaimed) Natsukawa support squad captain, I don’t want her to feel lonely, but I can’t blame Ashida here.
“…Really?”
“I mean, we haven’t played at all ever since summer break started! I’m feeling lonely myself!”
“Yeah…yeah!”
How heartwarming. Great move, Ashida. This is the smile I love to see from Natsukawa…! Just watching this smile gave me enough energy to keep on living. Even if a wave of customers were to storm into the bookstore tomorrow, I’d be able to deal with them just fine! Still, I wasn’t really motivated for this day, but the return I got for pulling through with it was crazy. Natsukawa’s happy face really is the best reward one can get…
“Hey…”
“Eh?”
Why did she suddenly turn towards—Ah, crap. I was staring at her too much. Only now did I realize the current situation. Three meters away from me, two high school girls were flirting, with a high school boy practically taking mental pictures of this. I don’t think I was even blinking that entire time. My eyes feel dry. How engrossed was I in this…I’m totally done for.
Natsukawa slowly walked towards me, with her face cast down, which didn’t allow me to see her face properly. Is she angry, nervous, I had no idea. All I could see was Natsukawa’s wavy and beautiful hair. I just hope she doesn’t call me gross.
“Well, I’m sorr—”
“You too, Wataru.”
“Eh?”
“……You can’t?”
Of course I can! (Immediate response)—is how I would normally react, but Natsukawa’s sudden change in attitude was too stimulating for me, I couldn’t give her an immediate answer. I don’t even need to come up with some kind of example, she simply is cute. My face was burning up. Really? This isn’t a dream, right? She’s inviting me, isn’t she. She’s not going to make fun of me later, right. Idiot, Natsukawa isn’t that kind of girl.
“……You can’t?”
“T-That’s not the problem…”
A second time I was asked, which hurt even more. She’s just cute. What kind of words do you want to hear from me? I’m not clever enough to come up with anything creative here…Can I just kneel down and give in?
“Why are you panicking like that?”
Whose fault do you think this is…! Don’t think I actually get to enjoy a conversation with a cute girl such as you on a daily basis! Even your gaze is just too much for me…Don’t look at me with such a straight expression!
“Then…” Natsukawa looked at me and Ashida, showing a bashful expression which had me agonize in pain again, and then delivered the killing blow. “C-Can I…text you?”
“Guha!” *Overkill (Me)
“Hauu…” Full recovery (Ashida)
It felt like my heart was being crushed by fluffy cushions. Is this really Natsukaw’s character? This isn’t how she usually would act around me, and the cuteness had me lose strength in my hips. If she’s gonna keep going with this, I might just run away because I can’t take this level of attack.
As for Ashida…yeah, it looks like she’s in a daze, probably about to fall for Natsukawa herself. I totally get what she’s going through. If I was born a girl, I’d probably still fall for Natsukawa nonetheless.
“A-Aichiiii…! I’m sorry about my smell, but let me give you another good hug, okay!?”
“Stop right there, criminal scum!”
If she went for that now, she probably wouldn’t be able to stop herself. Just, not in public. If possible, invite me next time so I can watch, I’m totally fine with that…!
“Don’t stop me now, Sajocchi…! We’re both girls, so there’s no problem!”
“Don’t actually say that out loud!”
To think that Ashida would fall faster than I did…Unlike me, it’s not sexual harassment no matter what she does, so she doesn’t need to hold back either, and her restraint ain’t working. This is far too dangerous…If this wasn’t some lively residential district, I might have actually supported that.
“Um…”
“Be careful, Natsukawa…Ashida’s an even bigger pervert than me right now!”
“M-More than you, Wataru…?”
“Sorry, could you maybe forget about that?”
Why did she emphasize the ‘More than me’ part? Did she always think of me as a pervert? Crap, she totally knew, huh. Going after her to sniff her perfume was too much, I guess. Yeah, definitely too much.
“Aichiii…you can always send me a message~”
“…Eh? I thought you were always texting on the side?” I was confused.
“Not after summer break started…Kei seemed busy, so…”
“You don’t need to be so considerate~”
I guess even in a girls’ friendship like this, you need to be aware of manners and kindness. Though I agree with Ashida here, but…it’s definitely better than spamming in the group chats all night. But, what’s important is that you two are happy.
“Ashida said she’s fine, so just send her a message whenever?”
“………What about you, Wataru?”
“Anyphifu…!?”
Well, I guess it makes sense for me to bite my tongue there.
*
I couldn’t forget Ashida’s delighted back as she walked into the distance. Even though I was absolutely exhausted just by seeing a different side from Natsukawa than usual, she’s brimming with energy despite having gone through her club all day. There’s a lot of questions I have, and the feeling of reality still hasn’t set in, making me feel like I was dreaming. Especially now that it’s just Natsukawa and me.
“Kei…seemed pretty excited.”
Whose fault do you think that is? Even now, you’re slowly chipping away at the last bit of rational thinking and restraint left inside of me, you know? I feel like I’m walking right next to my favorite idol. Pretty sure I used up all the luck for the rest of my life, so I hope I at least don’t die tomorrow.
“Right back at you, Natsukawa. First time I saw you leap at Ashida like that.”
“T-That’s…I was copying Airi.”
So cute. I lost count on how many times I called her cute inside my head, but this isn’t the first time this started. I might not have seen her for a while, but Natsukawa is always cute (Common Sense). With all these beauties around me, I figured I had finally found my groove but, I’ve now confirmed it. Men can never get used to having a beauty next to them.
“…Talking about Airi-chan, did you introduce her to Ashida pretty quickly?”
“Yeah, in May, together with the other girls from the volleyball club.”
“Volleyball club, huh. I don’t have any real connections with people from there, outside Ashida of course.”
“They’re pretty amazing if you line them up. Not to mention that Ashida is the smallest.”
“Seriously…”
Ashida’s pretty much matching my line of sight, right? That’s the volleyball club for you, the bigger you are, the more useful you are in a game, huh. Height advantage is something terrifying. Now that I think about it, I never saw Ashida play volleyball before. When I met her before during PE break, she just ran away, saying ‘I reek of sweat, so don’t get too close!’ after all.
“That was the first time I ever had someone meet Airi.”
“Was she happy?”
“She was smiling in bliss being carried by everyone. Not to mention that she looked at everyone with a dazed ‘Whooo?’ expression. Was so adorable…”
“…!”
Whenever the topic turns towards Airi-chan, Natsukawa sure talks a lot, even to me. I am happy about that, of course, and I don’t mind throwing an offering at her, but acting like Airi-chan mid-conversation is not fair. When I see a beautiful girl act like a young girl, it makes me feel all weird inside. My adolescence…is being stimulated!
“What’s wrong?”
“N-No, it’s nothing.”
I guess Natsukawa isn’t even aware of it…But, does that make it okay? If she became aware of her own cuteness, she might just eventually turn into this Shinonome Something girl, with a domineering personality. That would probably leave her safe from any approaching guys, but still.
If anything, I’d be worried about Airi-chan. She’s probably hearing how cute she is even more than Natsukawa, and with how much she’s being spoiled, she might grow up to acquire a queen-like personality…Ahh, I’m so worried. Not like I could say that, though.
“Airi is pretty cute…but what about your older sister, Wataru? She’s beautiful, so she must have been even more cute when she was younger, right?”
“Beautiful, huh…When I acquired consciousness, she was already a bratty general.”
“Bratty general…?” Natsukawa let out a snicker.
From there, our talk about siblings started. Since there was a booming Aika-chan trend before summer break, I didn’t get much chance to ask. If anything, I figured that Natsukawa would passionately talk about her love for Airi-chan, but the topic would often shift towards Big Sis. So, I just explained the daily struggles and small bouts we had.
Natsukawa seemed pretty shocked by that. But, I felt happy seeing her laugh about my stories, and before I realized it, I told her about a wide range of anecdotes that I’ve experienced. I feel like there were some pathetic stories in there as well, but I didn’t care too much.
As we were walking ahead, we reached an intersection. Since it was a familiar street to me, I quickly realized this unfamiliar situation I found myself in. I’m talking normally with Natsukawa…? Not too long ago, she’d immediately run away if I tried anything of that sort. And even if we got a chance, usually my head would just turn blank, so why now…?
“……”
“Ah…I have to go left here.”
“Oh…right.”
It really was like I was living inside a dream. Looking back through all the times I interacted with Natsukawa, this definitely was the best, and happiest for me. I don’t want this time to end. How greedy of me to think that. After saying our goodbyes, Natsukawa walked a bit ahead, only to turn around towards me again. She looked at me like she was waiting for something, like she was expecting something from me.
…What am I supposed to say here? ‘Yeah, I’ll be taking a straight here’, maybe? No, that’s obvious. Why am I getting nervous now? What does Natsukawa want from me? She created this situation herself, so this is related to her wish. What did she say, what did she want? —Ahh, I know.
“…Then, I’ll be texting you later.”
“Yup, later.”
Is this it? Ahh, Natsukawa is smiling, so that was the right choice. It’s not a bewildered or bothered smile from before when I was just tagging along with her. It’s like one was fake, and this one is real. My five senses all told me that I did right there.
Natsukawa turned her back towards me. The moment I couldn’t see her face anymore, a sense of relief filled my chest. It contradicted my feelings towards Natsukawa to a level I couldn’t even comprehend myself. Only this regrettable feeling hasn’t changed much from back then.
*
After getting out of the bath, I got some notifications in my messenger app. I panicked a bit, only to see that Ashida created a new group and invited me and Natsukawa. She already had a name decided.
‘K and the Siscons’
Are you picking a fight with me? Siscon? You’re saying I’m a siscon? With that Big Sis of mine? Leaving aside Natsukawa, that’s actually pretty laughable…No way would I be a siscon with Big Sis around. I accepted the invitation nonetheless.
‘Who’s a siscon?’
‘Aichi already confessed, you know?’
‘I’m a siscon, yeah.’
Well, guess I didn’t know about it myself. Yeah, I can’t even directly look at Big Sis’ face. If our eyes met, my legs would just quiver. It’s a complex towards sisters that I have, yes. So wait, can Natsukawa see this exchange? Also, I’m legally allowed to text Natsukawa? That’s pretty crazy…Seriously, how high do I value Natsukawa.
‘I mean, you’re close with your older sister, right.’ Natsukawa threw in.
‘Older sister1’…? Ah, wait, no, it’s just the normal kind. My eyes were playing tricks on me. I guess I’m just tired at this point. But, is it just me, or does Natsukawa sound pretty relaxed with the way she’s typing? Man, she really knows how to get me excited.
‘We’re close enough to offer each other some hamburger steak during dinner.’
‘I feel like I caught a horrifying glimpse at your relationship with your Big Sis…’
‘(´｡• ω •｡`)’
Natsukawa-san, I’ve been wondering about this even during our walk home, but you really love talking about me and Big Sis, huh? Also, that emoji is so cute. Did you get that just for now? Ah, I can totally see that. The possibilities of messengers are endless. And, dear older sister, I’m counting on you in the future.
‘Was the same with you and Airi, right?’
‘More detail, please! Aichi, I beg you!’
‘Wait, Natsukawa. Please, don’t do this!’
‘Nope’
Urk…why is she acting a bit childish now. She rarely acts selfish like this, so now that she does, it really is playing at my heartstrings! Ahh, let me head to the bed, I wanna flap my legs up and down like a girl in love. In the meantime, Natsukawa told Ashida about the day I went to visit Airi-chan. It seems like the part where we played horsie really got to her.
Hold on, back then, weren’t you worried about me…? So, you were secretly laughing at me! How cruel! …Why? Why…Why do I suddenly want to play horse again.
‘Huh…So with today’s incident, maybe Sajocchi just has the hots for younger girls?’
‘Eh, he likes Airi…?’
As if. Come on now, don’t start some unwelcome and fake development like that…No, wait. Let me think about it. Leaving aside Airi-chan, do I actually like younger girls, or not? What younger girls are around me even? I can only think of Sasaki-san. But, I always thought she’s older than me…Maybe my impression of her changed after seeing her wear that middle school uniform. The impact was pretty tough, so I can’t exactly forget about that…
But, what about it? Even if she’s actually younger than me, her grown-up atmosphere doesn’t vanish just because of that. My head knows she’s younger, but my heart needs some more time. Not to mention that we live in different worlds, so I feel like she’s different from the common ‘younger girl’.
Who else…? Weird, why does Inatomi-senpai’s face pop up inside of my head? She’s a senior. Wow, yet she feels much younger than anybody else I know. Let me just rub her head in my fantasy at least…Hey, Mita-senpai, don’t get in my way.
Anybody else? Maybe Sasaki’s little sister Yuki-chan…? Yeah, no, I can only see her as someone crazy with her older brother. If I had a younger sister, maybe she’d be like her? Hmm…
‘I honestly don’t know.’
‘Huh?’
‘Huh?’
…Huh?
1 Natsukawa wrote it as a normal ‘older sister’, but Wataru thought she said ‘sister-in-law’