/
Tumbling Heart
I wonder what reaction I should show when the person I like suddenly appears in front of me. I’m happy, but my head just turned blank. I can’t come up with anything clever to say, and the more I stay silent, the more lame and boring I must seem.
“Fufu…what’s up with that.”
Aren’t you a cute one. No, wait a second. Natsukawa smiled towards me, which she would normally never do…? Is the world going to end tomorrow? She always had the image of a strict but kind goddess, but she’s actually directing a smile only at me…? Did I overwork myself and die in the process? Well, this isn’t half bad then.
“Well, I was carrying a lot today, so…”
…No, hold on? Is this maybe Natsukawa taking care of me seconds before I actually die? Could there be any better way to spend my last moments? This is weird, Patrasche…I feel so much strength filling my body despite being on death’s edge. I might just be able to win against the Demon Lord now. Wait, why am I falling down into hell?
“Yeah…I was watching, so I know.”
“Ah, I see…Eh?”
So, is it finally happening? Am I hearing things? …No, seriously, why can’t I just simply believe her words? Maybe because she’s never shown me such a face before? Her happy face, her laughing face, her delighted face, I know all of them, but never were these directed only at me. This is the first time.
Because the distance between us was still too big, Natsukawa took one step, and then another step towards me. No um…I’m happy, but not that happy…I haven’t mentally prepared myself for that yet, and I don’t want to suddenly act disgraceful to embarrass myself. If you get too close to me, you’re going to melt my eyes——Eh?
“You were working so hard…You reek of sweat.”
“—!?”
My nostrils were tickled by a sweet fragrance. My head was filled with a pink essence. I desperately tried to keep my eyes looking straight despite them wandering all over the place, and somehow managed to keep up my reason. Natsukawa’s face approached my chest, and it must have been subconscious, but she gently pressed her hands against my chest, tapping it up and down, only to move away a small bit and show a gentle smile.
Well, even if she does take a small step back, we’re still at pretty much zero distance. This is too much, way too much. I won’t be able to sleep at night. I don’t…I don’t even know what to do.
“N-Natsukawa.”
“Hm? What?”
Eh? Why does she respond so calmly? Where did her thorns towards me run off to? Is she not even aware of what she’s doing? What happened in half of this summer break? Natsukawa stood in front of me, only gently tilting her head, showing no signs of getting angry…Not to mention that her hair was a bit ruffled up, traces of sweat on her skin…Her beautiful hair almost looked like it was sparkling in the sunlight.
Her breathing was a bit out of control, it was about to hit my face which was pretty much the last straw in this. I flinched, I trembled, and yet was unable to move, petrified. Behind me is the bench, so no room for escape. Because I haven’t seen Natsukawa in a while, everything about her was too stimulating. Or wait, is it really because I haven’t seen her in a while? Did something like this happen before? If so, then I can see myself falling down to hell. All you high school guys in this country, did you see that? You must be jealous.
“Um, ehm, you’re…close…”
“Eh? Ah…S-Sorry.”
She must have finally realized how irregular this distance between us was, as she took another step back, but didn’t seem too bothered because she showed me another innocent smile. I can tell that my heart was about to explode. The happiness filling me is like my lifespan is being prolonged, but the blood pressure is slowly chipping away at my lifespan at the same time. I don’t really get it, but the current Natsukawa is definitely dangerous.
“So…Did something…good happen?” I spoke up.
“Eh?”
“Well, I mean, you seem so happy…and your face looks like you’re enjoying yourself, so…”
“Eh!?” Natsukawa’s eyes shot wide open.
That way of phrasing it was definitely bad, yup. When I told Natsukawa, she suddenly started touching her own face. Ahh, so cute…are you a natural airhead? Can we get married? …Ah, crap, Natsukawa is so charming today I was about to propose. I can’t buy a ring with just three months worth of allowance and salary. No, is that really the big problem here? I’m an idiot. I need at least two years worth of salary from my part-time work instead. Well, for Natsukawa’s sake, I might get a loan from the bank…No no no, that’s also not the problem here! Put it together, me!
N-Natsukawa-san? The reason you’re so happy is because you don’t have me around anymore, right? Please, teach me the reason so I can believe in your graciousness again.
“I-It’s just so reassuring that you never change, Wataru.”
What am I supposed to do here? Eh, she’s relieved because I’m the same as always? What a shame, I love how you never change either, Natsukawa. So, that’s why I can’t relax right now. Is this the whims of a Goddess? How scary. There’s nothing better than this.
“I-I see…So then, what’s up? It seemed like you were rushing over here.”
“Eh…That’s…Um…”
“…?”
Natsukawa failed to get her words together, and just stuttered wildly. She moved her hands around wildly, and constantly glanced up at me. She was frantically searching for a response, and I was patiently waiting for my Goddess’ next words. How could I rush her, some lowly follower like me has no right to do that. I can only respond to her desires.
“—not……yet.”
“Eh?”
“B-Because I haven’t talked with you yet, Wataru!”
Am I still breathing? (*Yes, you are). Eh, what kind of cute reason is that? Was she in such a rush before because she was looking for me? Is that even possible? Couldn’t she have just talked with Sasaki instead? Was she that desperate to talk with me? I’m so lost.
“So…Why?”
“You seriously ask that…? Why wouldn’t we talk!”
Eh, why…? Like, because it would be bad manners not to? I was actually trying to be considerate and not talk to her for a reason though…Especially with Sasaki around, I figured that leaving her alone would benefit everybody…I mean, leaving aside my own feelings.
“W-We haven’t talked for a while, so…I just felt…lonely…”
“You cute creature.”
“C-Come on…! Now’s not the time for that!”
My honest feelings broke through the barrier that was my mouth. Can’t help it, can I. Natsukawa is too cute, it’s killing me. My feelings are just overflowing now. The way she’s pouting and complaining makes it seem like it’s my fault—Eh, ‘pouting’? How can you make such a cute face…! Will you give it a rest already! I’m seriously gonna propose to you, okay!? Are you okay with that!? I’ll go to the bank and borrow the money!!
…N-No, calm down, me. Natsukawa didn’t just become cute now. She is and always has been cute. Think about it in game terms. Her cuteness is at 99 right now, so even if she becomes more cute, that value won’t go above 99. It’s the same here. And going from that logic, Natsukawa is always cute. Alright, I’m calm now.
“No, sorry about that, Natsukawa. I just couldn’t find the time.”
“I-I know that.”
“…!”
No, I’m seriously at my limit here. It’s not even a problem of my heart at this point. Because of Natsukawa’s cuteness, my entire body was raising shrieks of agony. Am I going to have a muscle ache tomorrow? I’ll turn into a macho because of Natsukawa’s cuteness…My stomach was full to the brim, I was having cramps because of how cute she was. I really haven’t calmed down at all, huh.
“—Right. Been a while, Natsukawa.”
“Y-Yeah…Been a while…”
When I rationally thought about it, and said what came to my mind, Natsukawa giggled. Being shown such a happy reaction, reality still hasn’t set in. She’s talking to me…and is happy, right? I don’t get it. Is this how a woman’s heart works? All I know is that I’m really happy right now…Weird. Before, I was working my ass off just to get a fraction of this treatment, so why is it now? Not like this is ideal either, but still.
That’s maybe why. Leaving that kind of emotion out of the equation, as Natsukawa clearly doesn’t feel that way for me, and maybe because my burning passion for her has gone down as well, so we reached a level of friendsh—Eh?
“……”
“……”
Natsukawa approached me yet again. She stood right in front of my eyes, reaching out for my sleeve with her small hand. Her gaze seemed oddly anxious about something…almost like she was expecting something from me. If I just reached out my hand towards her, I might be able to touch her glossy air, and if I approached my mouth just a bit further, our lips would overlap…Yeah, impossible.
“So…Natsukawa…”
Emergency bells were ringing inside of my head. What saved me from this dilemma were the words that Ashida told me before at the family restaurant.
‘As long as there’s someone who will like you, you’ll definitely be happy.’
That’s right, this isn’t just limited to me. Natsukawa must be happy to have someone around who likes her. Even if it wasn’t me standing here, the same thing might have happened. Thinking about that, I got a bit of courage. She might hate me, brush me away, and it’s terrifying to think about that, but I still placed one hand on her shoulder.
There was no resistance. Trying to tell her that this distance was bad, I slowly pulled away her hand. Even so, she kept holding on to my sleeve, practically saying that she won’t let go no matter what. I don’t know if this is just how men work, but I felt excited to assume Natsukawa only belonged to me in that very moment. In an attempt to remove my wicked thoughts, and forcefully calm myself down, I just spoke up with whatever came to my mind.
“Natsukawa…should we…talk a bit?”
“! Y-Yeah!” Natsukawa’s expression changed, and she moved a bit away from me.
Although I got to see a blooming smile from the girl I liked, it equally felt a bit regrettable that she moved away. My head was telling me ‘You can’t’, but my desires for Natsukawa definitely haven’t vanished. It’s not which one is stronger, they’re mixing together inside of my head.
“Huh~? It’s Aichi and Sajocchi~!”
“Oh…”
“Ah…!”
I heard a familiar voice. There’s only one person who would call us that way, so we both turned towards the source of that voice. I think that seeing her right now after a few weeks was a big saving grace. Ashida seemed to have just finished her club, as she still had her sports bag over her shoulder, approaching us while wearing her summer uniform.
“K-Kei…!”
“Wawa…!? Aichi, I’m reeking of sweat, don’t cling to me like that!”
Natsukawa ran towards Ashida, even jumping at her. She blinked in confusion, trying to push Natsukawa away, but that didn’t work. Watching these two, I gently touched the sleeve that Natsukawa just held on to. Without even being particularly conscious of it, her sweet scent still drifted around in front of me. In the end, both my brain and soul melted away, as I sank down on the bench behind me.