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Things You’ve Seen On the Way
No more…
Ichinose Mina felt like her conversation with her older brother was starting to become fruitless. The incident that blew open this entire situation was her witnessing a decisive scene between her older brother and his lover. The feelings she had inside of her ever since this relationship began now fully exploded.
“You started working part-time because of me, right? If you don’t need money, then there’s no need for you to work.”
“T-That’s not true…”
She tried hard to fight back. She had no ultimate weapon or trump card to completely push over her older brother. Not to mention that she never felt of him as the bad guy. Of course, she knew that the guilt was with her—All of this was just a sign of her own self-importance.
“I heard that dealing with customers is a lot of trouble. I don’t want you to suffer through that, Mina.”
“I-It’s not…”
“Mina.”
“Ah…”
Pressure was put into this argumentation. It sounded like he was saying ‘Will you give it a rest already’. Bad at receiving such a gaze, Mina felt scared. However, at the same time, she felt annoyed that her beloved older brother didn’t manage to guess her own feelings.
And then, she heard footsteps coming up from the first floor. Both she and her older brother turned around, and Sajou Wataru joined in as well, looking at the door.
“Sorry for the wait, Ichinose-kun!”
Why was she here? Did her older brother plan on doing something more than this? Doubts filled Mina’s head. She wasn’t sure how to react, and just looked at the single boy unrelated to this.
“So you came, Yuri-chan.”
“Yeah, I don’t think this is a problem between the two of you only…Also, been a while, Sajou-kun. Thanks for your help back then during the school visit.”
“…It’s fine. It has been a while.”
“Eh……” In shock, Mina’s gaze shot towards Wataru.
He knew her brother’s girlfriend…? Now that she thought about it, he had mentioned that he had been in contact with Mina’s older brother. Maybe they weren’t simple acquaintances, but rather shared some kind of past together. Mina thought about it calmly, but many different expressions filled her head. Even the vocabulary she gained from reading books had vanished.
“Ah, have a seat over here, Senpai.”
“Sorry about this, and thanks a lot, Sajou-kun.”
……Ah?
The young man who Mina had relied on moved aside. And, her older brother’s girlfriend—Yuri sat down there. As a result of that, Wataru seemed to have calmed down a bit. Mina grew worried that he would just leave like that, but that thankfully didn’t happen. Instead, the young man showed a gesture like he was thinking about something, and moved behind Mina, like he was her ally.
……Why?……
Sajou Wataru is a senior of Mina at her part-time work, and a classmate at school. Before, she had only seen him as an annoying existence, but after she started working with him, he had shown his experience in life, and how much he held compared to Mina. Although he had some troublesome parts to him, he properly pointed out any problems she had, and explained any questions. He properly cared for Mina despite her problematic personality.
However, he drew the line between right and wrong. When something was wrong, he would properly raise his voice. The same was the case right now. It repeated itself, but Mina was aware of her guilt, and still fought. There’s no way that Wataru wouldn’t be aware of that. Even as they were talking with Mina’s older brother, everytime Wataru directed his attention at her, her heart started racing.
He isn’t Mina’s ally at all. Mina didn’t have any expectations for him. However, his gaze meaning something like‘Come on, say it’ was like he was pushing Mina’s back as they stood at a cliff.
“Yuri-chan, so…”
The older brother explained what happened so far. Like it was common sense, he did not include Mina’s personal feelings in that. Of course, this couldn’t be helped, as Mina was merely on a Yes-No stage, not properly explaining her reason.
Hanaoka Yuri is a cheerful and diligent girl, who would show all sorts of openings only in front of Mina’s older brother, being spoiled by him. That later part is exactly what Mina couldn’t forgive. She is an existence that stole her older brother from him. Although Mina didn’t exactly feel hate and anger towards her, she was lonely, and sad. Even after these two started dating, she had been able to feel her older brother’s warmth a lot. However, the scent she picked up during these times wasn’t her older brother’s anymore. That was the final hit.
“Been a while, Mina-san.”
“Y-Yes…”
Despite there not being much strength in Yuri’s voice, it sounded full of vigor. Being on the receiving end of that, Mina’s head turned blank. She wasn’t sure of what to say. She couldn’t think of anything to say.
“When you suddenly started working part-time, both Ichinose-kun and I were wondering why. We talked with each other, and thought that maybe you were looking for your own place to belong to. After all, I invaded that previous place.”
“……!” Mina’s body started quivering.
It was an awfully correct deduction. Just as Yuri said, Mina was seeking out another place to belong to. She doesn’t have any friends. Even the brother that had spoiled her so far—was gone. It was just awkward to be around. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her older brother anymore. That’s why she forced herself to apply at that bookstore. So that she wouldn’t need her older brother anymore. To think that it would be Yuri of all people who offered a bit of light in Mina’s darkness.
“Mina-san, I’m not stealing your place, your belonging. I still want you to be spoiled by Ichinose-kun like you have before, because that would make me happy as well. It’s your right as his little sister.”
No, the problem isn’t whether this place next to her older brother was open or not. The problem is that Hanaoka Yuri is using this place as well. She is an irregular existence breaking between Mina and her older brother, marking him as a ‘woman’, and pushing Mina away like she was an insect trying to deal with pesticide.
Even so, Mina was an insect, like a louse. She would walk around her older brother, removing any unneeded existence. As his younger sister, Mina should have no right to judge her older brother’s happiness. However, despite that, she still didn’t want him to be stolen. In the world’s eyes, she might seem cute, but Mina felt pathetic, and strongly hated herself.
“Since you’re more of a docile girl, continuing to work like this must be hard, right? From what I heard, you have to deal with customers, so I think it’s too fast for you.”
The boy standing behind Mina right now had said something similar before. Quit working, and just use the allowance you get from your parents. However, that’s different. She didn’t go through so much work for such a reason—She wanted her heart to become strong and independent. And, she couldn’t let this determination be ridiculed.
“I-It’s not too fast.”
“Why are you going this far…”
It’s a clear 3v1. Only Mina accepted herself. For how much she was aware of what foolish things she was doing, she couldn’t step down either, as this was a line she couldn’t cross. In order to protect tha, she had continued to run away, and found this part-time work lifestyle.
“Mina, why are you so obstinate now? That never happened before.”
“Please, Mina-san, I don’t want anybody to suffer because of this…So, come back.”
“…!”
A faint glimmer of fury started to rise up inside of Mina. As well as conflict, of course. How should she clear up this resentment? That’s right, there was a table right in front of her. However, it was made out of thick and sturdy acrylic wood. Since he had only read books so far, she hesitated to use violence—If she did that, both her hand and heart would hurt.
“—Um, you two? Could you at least properly hear out Ichinose-san?”
“…Eh?”
A voice spoke up behind Mina’s back. It was a light tone, not fitting with this situation. After breaking through the silence, the boy walked next to Mina, and put his hand right on the place Mina was about to slam her fist into.
………Eh?
She couldn’t follow at all. Why would he suddenly speak up? Mina herself was wrong, and she was aware of this. So why would he break between Mina’s older brother and his girlfriend’s attempt to persuade her?
“Um…Sajou-kun? What are you talking about?”
“I mean, Ichinose-san has been doing great, and has shown a lot of motivation to the point where I really admire her. At first, she was having a lot of trouble, but the same would probably be the case for everybody.”
“Eh…”
That cannot be true—is what the older brother’s voice seemed to have emphasized. It was a grounded reaction. After all, her older brother should know about Mina being introverted, docile, and secluded in her thoughts. If you tried talking to her head-on, you’d be pushed away. That’s how weak of an existence she was. That is common sense for both Mina and her older brother.
“Um, why are you just making the fact that working part-time for Ichinose-san is suffering a set piece of the conversation? As her senior at work, I can’t stay quiet about that.”
“Ah, that’s…”
“In order to become independent—that is the reason why she started working part-time. What’s so weird about that?”
“Sajou-kun, that’s just a facade and a reason just to have one. This is a problem that happened because of the rift between the two of us.”
A facade—that’s right. It was all correct, so Mina could only avert her eyes. Trying to become independent is just a fake reason. She started working part-time because of impure reasons, ready for everything just so that she didn’t need to return to this awkward atmosphere at home. If one said that this is suffering, then they wouldn’t be wrong. Mina was close to breaking several times.
“—No, seriously. There’s nothing weird about that, and not wrong at all.”
“…Wha?”
“Eh…”
Despite Mina herself saying that, this is what the young man countered. All gazes gathered on him yet again. He was saying something obvious, at least in his eyes, leaving everyone confused.
“She felt jealous at having her beloved older brother being taken by Yuri-senpai, ran away from this awkward and uncomfortable environment, and started working part-time—What’s weird about such a motive? After you two started dating, you neglected her, which resulted in her wanting to become independent from her older brother, it’s all perfectly normal.”
“But…that has nothing to do with our feelings.”
“T-That’s right. We both treasure Mina-san—”
“Senpais, how old do you think Ichinose-san is?”
“Eh…”
His voice sounded a bit bothered. Mina knew about this. Although she couldn’t figure out his true thoughts, that voice changed the path Mina had taken before.Without that, she probably would have shaken left and right without looking straight ahead. Doesn’t change that it was still terrifying.
“Ichinose-san is in high school. Does she not have any right to become an adult or something?”
“A-Adult…?”
“Can you really work hard just because you want to run away? Having her older brother taken, filled with jealousy, Ichinose-san swallowed her own true feelings, and stood on her own two feet. No matter what she has to face, she is walking this path so that you two can be happy. Are you trying to steal even this opportunity from her now?”
“I didn’t…”
“Senpai…I can’t tell you to let your little sister live her life. However, I’m pretty sure that assuming ‘my little sister will always be with me’ is flawed and wishful thinking. Can’t you be happy even if she’s trying to live independently from you? Come on.”
“……”
These words stabbed right into Mina’s heart. She was aware. Always assuming that she would always stay with her older brother was wishful and selfish thinking. But even so, she couldn’t accept it. That’s why Mina averted her face from reality, despite being aware of her flaws, and started working part-time. With Wataru standing next to her as an ally, there’s no way he wouldn’t know. And, he would always correct her if she was wrong. So why—
“If I were to use my position as a Senpai to explain this…It’s too early to decide Ichinose-san’s future right here. Personally, I think you should wait for the time when Ichinose-san can express what she wants, with her own words, right?”
“………”
It was a common ground. He, who was a complete outsider, gave a proposition. At the very least, those final words supported both sides, because this is how the future should be like. Not to mention, the bookshop would be in trouble if Mina suddenly quit. With his words, the young man had the two Senpais chew on that fact. They seemed to have finally understood that this wasn’t just some childish play.
‘Ichinose Mina is trying to become an adult’. These words were a huge deal, undoubtedly. To both Mina’s older brother, as well as his girlfriend who wanted to become her older sister.
*
“Mina, let’s go home. Yuri-chan, sorry to call you over like this.”
“No, don’t worry about it.”
The two lined up next to each other. However, Mina couldn’t tag along, as there was still something she was curious about.
“…G-Go on ahead without me.”
“Eh…” Her older brother turned around, seeming saddened.
Seeing his expression, Mina felt a sharp pain in her chest. However, not as much as before. After all, she knew that there was someone who would support this older brother. Mina looked over at Yuri, who seemed to have guessed the intention behind that, and grabbed her boyfriend’s arm, heading towards the stairs. She must have had some thoughts herself, but Mina was thankful that she took her older brother with her.
“…Well, it’d be hard to tag along after everything that happened.”
“Urk…yes.”
There were two reasons why she couldn’t tag along. She didn’t want to get in their way, and she also wanted to confirm her doubts with the boy who sunk on a chair, seemingly exhausted. She wouldn’t ask why he stayed behind with Mina. After all, he was always very sensitive to other people’s feelings. Instead, she needed to know why he did not blame her, despite knowing exactly what she must have felt.
“U-Um…”
“Hm?”
“Why…”
Why did you stay as my ally—It was clear that Mina was in the wrong. Despite holding such a terrible emotion inside of her, she didn’t even have the courage to speak out loud, cowering like a small animal. Sajou Wataru’s words weren’t entirely representative of Mina’s words. In reality, she didn’t bless the two at all. She only worked in order to avoid them. However, his words offered her a new card, creating a new guiding light.
“I-I…was wrong…wasn’t I…”
“I mean, we’re not at work, and it doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong. As long as you know it, isn’t that fine?”
“Eh…”
Mina was shocked to hear Wataru’s real feelings. She couldn’t imagine that this was the person who fiercely scolded her at work before. What kind of change of heart did he have?
“I told you before, but I feel this way because I came here. It’s not weird for a little sister to become more distanced to her older brother after he got a girlfriend. That’s why, I thought of putting down my own judgement after seeing how you worked.”
What Sajou Wataru had seen…Mina thought about what that could be. She one day appeared, started working, put a lot of trouble out for him, showed an embarrassing sight of her, and only after a lot of work reached this level.
“I just lined up some random caustic words. Created time for you to explain yourself. I thought I was in the right while I said it, but that isn’t my part to tell.”
Then, what? Deep inside Mina, expectations she should have thrown away suddenly started to dwell up again. At the same time as she felt terrified of the future, she also wanted to know more. She felt like she was underequipped, but she still wanted to hear her Senpai’s words, which she had relied on.
“You came here with the intention and will to continue your part-time work, right. To those who don’t know any better, they’d surely be surprised, but…To those who know, they can say for certain because all of your actions have stacked on top to create this mentality that you now have.
Mina didn’t expect him to feel that way. She thought he only saw her as a bother. Thought that he would just make fun of her. She would have never expected him to properly consider her own circumstances.
“At the same time, the Senpais came here to bring you back, saying that you should quit working part-time. To everyone around, that might be the correct choice. But then, why were you working that hard so far?”
“Ah…”
That’s right, if she had accepted all those kind words, everything would have been for nothing. She’d just go back to being spoiled. Going back to this vague feeling of disagreement, as the relationship of her older brother and his girlfriend continued.
“You were blamed, lectured. You apologized. So many bad things happened, and even so you properly managed to face the other customers, and even could give them some advice. I’ve been watching you through all of that. You definitely worked hard.”
“Ah—”
He continued. He explained that he himself couldn’t accept this. He stood at Ichinose Mina’s side because of his subjective view of her. And, he was confidently stating that this past month was not wasted at all. At the same time, he didn’t want the junior he had raised to be stolen.
“ —How can I stay calm when they call all of that a waste? Give me a break.”
In the end, the young man made the girl cry again.