She was interviewed once a day. No matter how important a prisoner was, Ian Kerner didnât interview that often. She thought Ian was not wary of her, but apparently he was. He called her in and gave her a lecture on dangerous marine life every day.
At first, she dragged on their interviews, but after a few days, she got tired of it. He had a knack for making things terribly boring, and he ignored her whenever she tried to change the subject.
Sometimes she thought that it would be better to dig a tunnel. At least then, progress would be visible day by day.
âSharks are-â
âPlease stop. I get it. To summarize, thinking about escaping from here is f*cking stupid. Do you think Iâm crazy?â
âThereâs little difference between the stupid and the hero. Neither of them thinks about the future. If you start thinking about escape, you wonât have the courage to do it.â
âI donât have any thoughts?â
âNot brave ones.â
He spoke calmly, flipping through the papers on his desk.
âSome prisoners⊠Some people thought you were a hero. Right?â
His expression was calm, but his tone was strangely sarcastic. She had lived her whole life being ignored, so she was sensitive to such things.
She shot back immediately.
âSo youâre saying Iâm a fool?â
âYouâre a long way off from when you escaped from prison.â
She glared at him and kicked the desk. When your hands were tied, the ways you could express your dissatisfaction was limited.
The desk shook violently. The nib of his pen twisted and scraped the paper. Without a reaction, he took out a new piece of paper and calmly rewrote letters that she couldnât read.
âDonât be violent.â
âYou said I was stupid.â
âYou asked.â
âWeâve seen each other so many times that weâre not unfamiliar with each other, right? Letâs talk openly. Should I have served 50 years straight? I think thatâs even more foolish.â
He stared at her for a long time, as if she was funny. It was the biggest interest heâd shown her in the past two weeks. And it was clear that it wasnât out of sympathy. It was the first time she had seen a man like him in her life.
At first, she didnât mean to be treated as a mysterious creature by him.
In order to play the role of a poor woman, she cried, no matter what he said to her. She tied her tangled hair into a ponytail, wiped her face with a towel she had stolen, and responded to his interviews. She often sent him subtle and sticky glances, and gently lowered her upper body to expose her chestâŠ
He didnât even look at her. He didnât even bother to understand what she was trying to do.
She was confused by his moral character when he didnât hand her a handkerchief while she cried. But now, she didnât know what was worse; a callous man who ignored a crying woman, or a crying woman who was trying to elicit sympathy through her tears.
He was more interested when she talked than when she cried.
So she decided to do what he wanted.
âThen what should I have done?â
ââŠâ
âYouâre smart. Tell me.â
He let out a low sigh and raised his head. Surprisingly, that was how he showed his interest.
He stared at her.
âIf you had confessed your crime when you were first sentenced, your sentence would have been commuted. If you had done well in prison, you might have been able to apply for parole before serving your full sentence, or you could have been transferred to a more comfortable prison.â
âThen I would have been dead. I would have never gotten out of Leoarton.â
She laughed, ignoring the chilly atmosphere.
âI was joking, wasnât it funny?â
ââŠâ
âNo, in the first place, I donât know why an innocent person has to spend 50 years in prison.â
âThe crime of murder ranges from 8 to 50 years. Itâs written in the law.â
âYeah, I didnât kill him, but letâs say I did. Why 50 years? Charlie, who lived next door, beat and killed his wife, eight years.â
He ignored her protest and pointed to the bookshelf.
âThe reason is written in the law.â
She saw a thick book covered in cowhide. She quickly lowered her eyes and spoke in a soft voice.
âI canât read. I was not educated.â
âI know. Isnât that why I told you with my mouth? Itâs written in the law.â
ââŠâ
âIn the end, you were sentenced to life imprisonment on Monte Island, which was purely your own fault. Rather than reflecting on your sins, you escaped from prison twice and deceived the Empire.â
He threw the papers into a drawer and stood up. It seemed to mean that the possibility of her innocence was not worth considering. He seemed to regret talking to her about irrelevant topics for a while.
She shouted with hope. If she missed this opportunity, she didnât know when they would talk again. She didnât want to take his marine biology lectures one-sidedly anymore.
âWait, wait! Hear my story!
âThe interview is over. Go back.â
He pulled her chains. She got up helplessly from the chair and shouted loudly. Soon the door would open, Henry Reville would come in, and would throw her back into her cell. Now was the only chance to do some bullsh*t that would get Ian Kernerâs attention.
âThink about it, Rosen. What do you have to say to get Ian Kerner interested in you?â
âThen are you an idiot too?â
ââŠWhat?â
âThe difference between a hero and an idiot is one decision! Then isnât it the same for you and me? You are the hero of the light, I am the hero of the dark. Both are complete idiots. Whatâs the difference?â
The force holding her chains loosened. Ian Kerner had a subtle expression. She didnât know if he was excited or angry. She just said whatever came to mind.
âNo one believed we would win the war. We are a small country with only a grand name, and our opponent was Talas, who had already devoured many countries! Thatâs why everyone ran away from the military. No one wanted to be a soldier of a defeated country. My husband ran away, too.â
ââŠâ
âWho didnât know that Talas took people in before the war began? Elites like you are highly skilled workers. Honestly, it would be better to be treated as a war hero in Talas than being swallowed by them.â
ââŠWe won in the end.â
His jaw was tense. Ianâs eyes burned with anger and hostility. But it didnât matter. The fact that she did something to elicit that reaction was important in itself.
âYeah, we won. So, did Talas fail? They just stepped down because they thought fighting would do more harm than good. Iâm relieved that our country hasnât been captured yet. On the other hand, what did we get? A humble and shallow patriotism? People were killed and land was destroyed. And you, the hero, wear shards of medals on your uniform, and escort meager prisoners.â
ââŠShut up.â
âYou call that victory? You must be so proud, right?â
âI told you not to talk freely.â
âWhy is the war hero doing this now? Arenât you broken too? Have you become an eunuch*? Like an idiot lying on the street?â
[*E/N: a man who has been castrated, especially one employed to guard womenâs living areas in an oriental court.]
She didnât stop being sarcastic. He pulled her chain. She was dragged towards him like a dog. The medals on his chest drew closer, and her body was completely engulfed by his shadow.
She believed that at that moment, he would raise his hand and slap her. Maybe he would trample her down with a baton. And, honestly, she thought that wouldnât be too bad. Violence by men was often accompanied by s*xual acts. With just a little bit of patience, she might get a chance to get into his bedroom.
âThatâs okay. Iâm used to the painâ
âRosen Haworth.â
âŠBut Ian Kerner betrayed her expectations. He didnât hit her or trample her. He just stared at her and called her name in a cold voice.
âYou are right. But you donât deserve to say that.â
ââŠâ
âIn the skies of my motherland, my comrades died and were wounded countless times. As always, history will not remember them. But despite knowing this, they gave up their young lives to protect the people of the Empire. Including people like you who are mean, cowardly, run at the first sign of danger, and live only for their own comfort. I didnât think youâd appreciate it. But at least-â
He paused, as if suppressing his anger.
âAt least you shouldnât have insulted them. You donât know war. You were a civilian under the protection of soldiers, and besides, you were in prison the whole time. During the war, it was paradoxically the safest place.â
She didnât quite agree with him. But she didnât have the heart to come forward and respond. Ian Kerner was offended by her words.
Her goal had been achieved.
He was just disappointed. Angry, he reacted completely differently from what she had expected. Everything went terribly wrong.
âNot everyone lives like you. Some people seek something more than their own interests. And the world is maintained by them.â
ââŠâ
âI want you to know that. Donât make me mad. Stop playing tricks I can see through. If you want sympathy, youâd better find someone else. Your lies are too shallow to deceive me.â
Ian, who returned to his indifferent expression, stared at her. He seemed to be daring her to say it again. If he were a stranger, she wouldnât be able to repeat the ridiculous lies about his dead companions.
But unfortunately, she was a woman who had long since abandoned her shame and conscience.
ââŠI did not lie.â
She repeated what she always said. The long conversation they had been having, in fact, was only a variation of that one phrase.
âI am not lying.â
âYou, in a really negative sense, do not deviate from expectations.â
He was right. It was an absurdly shallow to appeal to faith. She didnât want to persuade him either. Because Ian Kerner wouldnât believe her. So, she tried to stimulate his desire to win and conquer.
âIâve fully figured out what kind of person you are. There will be no more interviews.â
ââŠWait a minute! Wait a minute!â
âI wonât explain it again. I think you understand.â
âŠShe failed cleanly, though.
Clink Clank
A stronger chain was shackled around her wrists. The old iron rings fell to the floor noisily. It was also the sound of her fragile hopes and expectations crumbling. She held back the desire to dig in her heels and stay in his cabin.
Ian silently opened his cabin door. He was too gentlemanly to kick someone out. She knew it was just a habit of upper-class men. Even Henry Reville, who had sworn at her, caught her as she fell. Still, she thought it was annoying.
That meaningless etiquette, combined with Ianâs handsome face, which was pasted throughout the Empire as a symbol of victory, took away her sense of reality for a moment.
âActually, there is no need for chains on the sea. Hell is everywhere.â
ââŠâ
âNevertheless, you are standing here, immobilized by shackles. That is the weight of your sins. The sin of making a living person disappear from the world.â
Somehow, one person could speak in two wildly different ways. One of his broadcasts during the war played in her mind.
[You can relax. No one will be able to hurt you. When the air raid alarm rings, turn off your lights, go to the basement, turn on the radio, and listen to the broadcast. You just have to wait. I am always guarding the skies of the Empire. For you. Until the end of the war, until we all go back to our peaceful lives and forget all of thisâŠ]
She heard his voice too much. He was her jailer, and she was his prisonerâŠ
âI mean, it keeps getting weirder.â
If he kept talking to her, she thought something warm would pour out from between those lips. But it would never happen, because she was a crazy woman who was mesmerized by his shining appearance.
There was a time when his photos and his voice were her only comfort.
âYou reallyâŠâ
He raised an eyebrow. He looked like an icy sculpture, who wouldnât bleed even if he was stabbed.
But, unexpectedly, he waited patiently for her to finish speaking.
With the feeling of a prisoner on death row who was allowed to say her last words, she glared at him and spat out.