I'm Handsome: Eh Eh, great that you can understand!
Love 123: Has your fever gone down?
I'm Handsome: Yes!
Love 123: You have to pay attention, be more careful when sick
I'm Handsome: Understood, eh…this…well…
Love 123: Say it
I'm Handsome: I noticed that morning when I woke up that it seems I always give you trouble.
Love 123: I'm quite patient.
I'm Handsome: I didn’t crush you to death, did I?
Love 123: Ha ha ha ha! how is that?
I'm Handsome: Um, I'm a bit worried.
Love 123: Nope, you're quite interesting!
I'm Handsome: Thank you! Ah right, did you take a look at my collection?
Love 123: …
I'm Handsome: Is there anything you like? I'll give it to you.
Love 123: No need. You can keep your collection; I can't accept such presents ^_^
I'm Handsome: Hm…what did you think of my house?
Love 123: …really nice.
I'm Handsome: There was not even one thing negative about it? Any comment is fine.
Love 123: Really?
I'm Handsome: Of course! We have nothing to hide, we're so familiar with each other.
Love 123: Everything is good, except for the leopard pajamas, I was seriously terrified when I came to your place.
I'm Handsome: Ah? You don't think I look handsome in them?
Love 123: =.= they look ridiculous, like they could be torn into loincloths for primitive tribes
I'm Handsome: …
At around 2 o'clock in the afternoon, the whole store was pretty quiet. The whole store had closed for lunch break, and even Cui Ying Ying had stopped working. Hang Hang did not feel sleepy. Instead, he was still in surprisingly high spirits. He opened Spider Solitaire to play, but halfway into the game he became distracted. He suddenly remembered the event of this morning.
Yesterday, he was patiently staying with Liang Ze's and even slept next to him. This morning he was woken up by his biological clock. It was really hot in the bed; however, behind him was an even more unbearable body heat. There was something pressing against his back. Hang Hang had been in such a deep sleep that he was still a bit hazy from it. However, the other person was still deeply asleep, and that person's little friend had woken up and was rubbing against Hang Hang's clothes from behind. Hang Hang instinctively moved his hand to grab on it.
Hang Hang had quite a bit of experience in this field, that is, of waking up in a strange bed, so it was not totally unreasonable for him, as a full grown man, to a.s.sume that he was waking up after a 419. [T/N: Slang for a one night stand because, in English, the numbers sound like "for one night"]
As he held onto that very burning hot thing, the owner of that big thing companionably followed along with his movement and, still half asleep, let out a moan. It was really arousing.
It was thanks to the leopard print bedding that the situation was saved. Just as Hang Hang turned around wanting to kiss those tempting lips, he slightly opened his eyes. First, the leopard print bedding came into view, and next… the leopard print pajama set that belonged to that Idiot…
At that moment it was as if he was struck by lightning. Hang Hang did not just freeze on the spot; his fumbling hands instantly recoiled as if touching hazardous material. Honestly speaking, it was not the face that doused the flame in him; it was simply that he saw that leopard print pajama set…
Shocking.
His mind was still unable to comprehend who the man was. The only thing that registered was that the leopard pajamas were ridiculous. Once he calmed down, he half loathed and half felt grat.i.tude toward those leopard print pajamas—and he really wanted to feed this Idiot to an actual leopard.
Perhaps because he was so startled, the bed trembled violently causing this Idiot's eyes to crack open.
Two pair of eyes stared at each other for nearly a minute, after which the Idiot scratched his head, lifted up the quilt and looked down. Then he let loose with a loud "ugh."
Hang Hang, shocked and afraid that the Idiot knew what had almost happened earlier, had had no time to think of a countermeasure. However, the Idiot rubbed his eyes and said, "I just had a wet dream…"
Hang Hang nodded his head like a machine as he stared at Liang Ze, and Liang Ze smiled with embarra.s.sment and nodded his head. Unfortunately, this physiological response was not showing signs of gradually fading, he realized.
"I'll go to the bathroom," Liang Ze said and got out of bed.
Hang Hang stared at the ceiling for over a minute, then stared at the disgusting armchair for another minute, and then stared over at the Doraemon water dispenser for yet another minute. Finally…his eyes glanced out of the bedroom.
What would he look like masturbating?
As that thought came to mind, Hang Hang immediately jumped out of bed, wrote a note and then left.
Something had triggered a change. He seemed to want to have his eyes on that Idiot =.=
This matter…was it possible? It looked like…he was overdoing it as a shop owner caring for his customer. It seemed as though it had become his habit to wait for this Idiot to push open the door to his pet shop everyday, and just like that his life somehow became more colorful, it seemed…
A mild sound of small footsteps rus.h.i.+ng around woke Hang Hang out of his thought, and he looked over at the shelves. Small Leaf had woken up and currently was happily playing around. Watching her, it seemed like a strange omen: these two (Small Leaf and X chinchilla) had known each other for roughly three months, and they had been together in the "bridal chamber" for nearly two months, yet they still…had not mated!
Was this a hint?
Did Divine provenance deliberately want Liang Ze to come here every day?
Hang Hang had never believed in something called "Fate." Every year he went to the Lama Temple to burn incense,but it was really just to accompany Qi Ji. He (Qi Ji) was a very religious person – – – burning his incense very devoutly as if the Buddha were going to bestow on him a Lin Sister?*
[T/N: bestow a Lin Sister – Lin Mei Mei – meaning to receive an unexpected thing, a Chinese old joke]
Alright, it looked as though something like this is not a question of whether or not one was devout. Rather, it was an opportunity like a lottery as people have their chance one by one. Qi Ji's Lin Sister did not appear, but an idiot fell into Hang Hang's life =.=
From the time Hang Hang became an adult until now, he basically had never been in a relations.h.i.+p with anyone. After much a.n.a.lysis, Qi Ji had concluded that Hang Hang was more comfortable with a 419* than a real relations.h.i.+p. Qi Ji did not know why it was that his good friend didn't have a serious att.i.tude towards love. Qi Ji might not know the reason, but Hang Hang knew it very well. A wound from one's youthful days can become a lifetime scar.
[T/N: 419 – Chinese slang for "One Night Stand"]
During his soph.o.m.ore year of college, Hang Hang met someone in a chatroom. The two hit it off very well, and their conversation was always smooth and interesting. The other person was a senior student from the Central Hospital, graduation time undetermined, and the two always talked with each other. Hang Hang liked the way he looked when he played the piano, liked his long slender fingers, and liked his exquisite Southerner's appearance*. Thinking about it now, first love is always the most precious memory, if…yes, if it doesn't end badly. After graduation, that b.a.s.t.a.r.d went to Germany for grad school, plying Hang Hang with sweet promises before he left. But after less than three months abroad, nothing turned out the way he had promised as he did not answer phone calls and did not reply to letters. In the end, Hang Hang finally received mail—to breakup. Actually, if it had just been a breakup message, then Hang Hang would not feel so wounded. What made it so painful was the content of the mail: Can you stop being so persistent? Making other people feel so pressured, it's not that necessary. We were just friends. Hang Hang was very angry. He left his apartment right after reading the letter to make a phone call. Just as expected, the other person picked up. Hang Hang immediately questioned him, but he only replied, why are you so serious? Hang Hang replied, I am really serious. The other said then you are very naive. Don't embarra.s.s yourself any longer. I gave you what you wanted, but it was only a moment of pleasure.
{Proofreader Note: According to some Chinese stereotypes, southern men are known for their beautiful, almost feminine features.}
This event only lasted about a year and a half, less than two years from the beginning to end, but it left Hang Hang under a lingering shadow — it could be said he had become emotionless in this love thing. After that experience, he decided to rely on himself rather than other people because his bad judgment in love would only hurt him. Everything about love was just pretentious, and ever since then he would simply choose partners casually, and at dawn each would go his own way.
Hang Hang had loved animals since he was a kid, and when majoring in veterinary science at University this love only escalated. After having suffered such an event, he grew to love them even more. Animals are very kind, and when they like you it means they like you for a lifetime. The pets will use their lifetime to accompany you to the end.
Perhaps…you do not have to expect anything? More like, no expectation leads to no disappointment? That…one can think it is such a happy thing, right?
Why does it feel like I've come to like that idiot?
Hang Hang truthfully thought so.
Honestly speaking, he and Liang Ze had only known each other for a short time, and they were not good friends either, but Liang Ze could naturally read animal behavior — he was particularly kind, especially simple, so simple that there was no evil aura within him. He was always straightforward, not picky, not concerned about gains and loses, not an opportunist, and did not beat around the bush. He always laughed carelessly, was a bit sloppy, and said what he wanted…cannot blame the whole world for such a wayward personality. Even the rodent species, especially the chinchillas, really love him =.=
This could partially explain why Hang Hang had a soft spot towards him, but it could not thoroughly explain everything — Liang Ze was not his type. He was a typical straight man, and Hang Hang believed that in this world one should never take liberties with this type of person.
Pure evil.
"h.e.l.lo!"
Following the wind chime ringing at the door, Liang Ze happily entered the pet shop.
Hang Hang's eyes almost fell out of their sockets — what this Idiot doing here when he is sick?
"You…"
"I'm feeling better! I miss Ikkyu and Small Leaf so much that I came here!!" Liang Ze went straight to his chinchillas.
Both of Liang Ze hands were hiding behind his back. As he changed direction, Hang Hang saw he was holding a box behind him.
Liang Ze had woken up at four that afternoon with his whole body soaked in sweat as his fever had gone down. After pa.s.sing out and waking up again, he noticed a note on his bed nightstand — 【Remember to take your meds and get a lot of rest. Hang Hang】
Only now he remembered that Hang Hang came to see him yesterday, and it reminded him of the embarra.s.sing event that morning. It was hard to believe he woke up from his sleep and found himself sleeping next to a man — not with a beautiful girl. But what scared him even more was that physiological response, except…
What was even more maddening was that his "little brother" did not seem to calm down, and he had to go to the bathroom again to deal with it.
This really made no sense at all. Thinking about it, since he brought Ikkyu and Small Leaf over to this shop, his lifestyle had become healthy — everyday he got up at noon and played with his chinchillas for a bit, bothered Hang Hang for a while, then headed to the gym. After that he headed back to the pet shop, left the place at ten o'clock, and at night would start writing his novel…day after day. All types of hard partying had long bid him adieu: social parties, banquets, raves, KTV…and so on and so forth. From the time he began writing until now, he had never been so healthy! This feeling was really not bad; actually it was very good. His mind became more clear and organized, not like before when he was so drunk the night before that the next morning he woke up next to a mess and some random woman. After he had been heartbroken three times, his brother forbid him to have a girlfriend. His life was like a pool of mud: no one cared for him and he was always lonely. But after knowing Hang Hang, he seemed to have something to look forward to every day when he woke up. Coming to visit the shop had become indispensable to his life! They should be friends, right? Even though the cost of keeping the Chinchillas there was quite expensive…
The best thing about the matter was that, for the first time ever, someone had taken care of him when he got sick! Liang Ze was very well aware of his situation. His parents unexpectedly left this world in a plane crash, and all that remained of his family was his 8-year-old self and his big brother. That year his brother, who had just turned twenty, took on the responsibility of a father. He withdrew from college and started to work in the family business, becoming an office worker and taking on responsibility that was too much for a twenty year old to handle. His brother had always been busy, and Liang Ze rarely got sick. Even if he did get sick, he would never make his brother worry. He would bear with it, and it would soon be gone.
Yesterday was the first time he had even been taken care of while sick, and it felt really nice. He could drink plenty of water at any time, and someone would always wipe away his sweat. All he had to do was to say what it was that he needed. It was a blissful moment!
Before going out of the house, Liang Ze picked out one of his favorite and most memorable pieces from his collection and took it with him. He really loved it, treated it like his treasure, and he bet Hang Hang would also like it too. He wanted to give it to him to express his grat.i.tude — someone like him would never pause to think whether the other person might like the item or not. Rather, he stubbornly believed that if he like it then the other person would also like it =.=
Actually, though, it was not the fault of that idiot Liang Ze that he did not have even one true friend. Basically, when he was bored, he found others who were also bored, and they hung out being bored together because at least it was better than being bored alone. University days are the most important period in a person's life for making friends and dating, but during that time Liang Ze spent most of his time in the library reading. It was not that he was a nerd, but it was his way of adapting to a living accommodation. He chose to major in Chinese literature because nothing else interested him. He struggled with it for some time since he did not have enough knowledge of it — however, it was better than dealing with English. At the library, he did not just read but also wrote his research as well. He would submit his contributions, and gradually the number of times he got rejected became fewer and fewer. After graduation, there were not many job openings for such a major because with Chinese literature one could only become a researcher or a professor at a school. His older brother had asked what he wanted to do with it, and this idiot answered that he wanted to be a writer. This answer made his brother and sister-in-law laugh and say that this idiot had some nerve.
"This! It's for you!" Liang Ze played with his chinchillas for a while and then realized he still had the thing in his hands.
"Huh?" Hang Hang was shocked for a moment.
"Thank you for taking care of me yesterday!"
"Ah," Hang Hang nodded, "What is it?" he asked as he opened the box.
Inside was…a bundle of something that he could not identify.
"This is my favorite piece from my collection, an Indian tribal costume! I also wore each piece of it and really liked it! It's for you, since you love wild beauty, too!"
"…" Hang Hang took it out, alright…it is very wild, and barely covers up one's rear end,but worst of all is this necklace, I cannot stand it! He even took a picture wearing it? Oh my, luckily he didn't enlarge the picture in the living room =.=
"You can take pictures wearing it! Very impressive!"
"Ah…I can't, since I wouldn't even know where to hang them."
"Then give them as gifts! I made an enlargement for my brother, and he hung it up in the living room! People coming to his house always ask who it is!"
"What's his answer?"
"He says it's Chief Too Cool."
Hang Hang thought he would cry his eyes out for this idiot's brother…
"Eh?" The idiot suddenly turned around.
"What?"
"Tell me, what do we call ourselves?" Liang Ze asked seriously.
"Ah…" That question startled Hang Hang. For what reason would a man normally ask another man something like this?
"Why did you 'ah' me? I'm asking you, what am I to you?"
"…" Hang Hang could not answer.
"Hey, what kind of expression is this? I don't mean to get close to you to ask for waiver on the deposit for the chinchillas!"
Hang Hang hadn't even thought of it.
"I would like to ask that we both consider ourselves as friends, okay? A good relations.h.i.+p!"
"This…" Hang Hang thought for a moment, half laughing, half crying, and said, "this counts."
"Great!" Liang Ze grinned from ear to ear. "This is the first time I have a friend! My life is now complete."
"What does that mean?"
"I didn't have any friends, and now I can use this word 'friend' to truly define this relations.h.i.+p between us. Yesterday when you took care of me, I realized that I actually have a friend!"
"Well…"
"Yup."
"What does this have to do with your life being complete?"
"Oh, my brother won't let me have any girlfriends. That means I'll have to lead a solitary life, so having a friend would bring some comfort into my life!"
"Do you mean…you also want me to lead a solitary life like you until old age?" if not this meaning, then what?
"d.a.m.n! Not like that! I…" Liang Ze had no idea how to explain this—obviously their relations.h.i.+p was pure and innocent! How come he could not say it well!
"Not that. How come your brother won't let you have girlfriend?" He had been chatting with Liang Ze and knew about his family situation, that his parents had pa.s.sed away and that he had one brother who was married and moved out. If the brother knew he had been sick, he would get very worried!
"Oh, my brother said I'm not an expert in this field, and most of the women I have been with are crazy maniacs."
"Ah?"
"Hm. The first one ran away with my money; the second tried to force me into marriage due to pregnancy, but the child turned out to be not mine; and the third one, actually she was ok, but she eloped with another man…"
Hang Hang was dumbfounded.
"My brother took me to a fortune teller who said that I can’t a.s.sociate with women or I will meet with eternal misfortune!"
"This…it can’t be… that…"
"That's OK, I’m not so disappointed, ha ha… so be it."
"This…"
"Shuaige!" Liang Ze stared seriously at Hang Hang, "Don’t comfort me. It's all gone now, and I’m all right, ha ha ha ha…"
Hang Hang told himself: I’m not trying to comfort you! This is a good thing, right?
"Don’t comfort me. Don’t even try, since I still have Small Leaf and Ikkyu."
"…"
"Really, there's no need to comfort me."
"…"
"Don’t be like that. I’m not upset over it. I’m pretty strong!"
"I’m here." Hai Hong pushed open the door, and the wind chime rang gently at the entrance.
"Shuaige! You don’t have to comfort me!"
"Eh, Xiao Liang, what’s wrong?" Hai Hong felt something was off and asked with concern.
"He was heartbroken some years back," Hang Hang helplessly answered.
"Eh?"
"Yup! I told Shuaige everything, and it’s okay now, but he insists on comforting me."
"…"
"Were you really sad about it?" Hai Hong looked at Liang Ze.
"Actually, it was alright, it's just that…"
He really does want comfort, Hang Hang thought so the second time he listened to this. Writers are not all strong…