Liang Ze: Yes ah, If I don't go out, how would I get to your store?
Hang Hang: …
Liang Ze: Right now?
Hang Hang: You're busy?
Liang Ze: Not busy…
Hang Hang: Then let's meet up at the tea store behind my house.
Liang Ze: Are we not meeting up at the store?
Hang Hang: …
On the last Sat.u.r.day of April, Hang Hang had a meeting with Liang Ze. In three days, it would be National Labor Day.
[T/N: May 1st is International Labor Day; this Labor Day is different from the States; I hope everyone in the States gets this right ^^, because ours is in September mostly]
Hang Hang walked out of the pet store, crossed the Yinding Bridge, and went into the tea store.Yinding Bridge
He and Qi Ji occasionally visited this tea store. That day, Hang Hang felt extremely down, he had wanted to call Qi Ji out to this tea store, but he was afraid that he would not be able to control his emotions, and that it would worry Qi Ji. Hang Hang is someone like that, even if he was lovelorn, he would not want to cause anyone to feel sad because of him.
The store owner guided Hang Hang to the second floor, and picked a seat near the window. From here he could view the sea after the spring. Hang Hang said thank you, and then ordered a pot of Bi Luo Chun*, and put down the curtain.Bi Luo Chun or Pi Lo Chun – renowned for its delicate appearance, fruity taste, floral aroma, showy white hairs and early cropping.
He had done some thinking before coming here. He did not want to beat around the bush, but to go straight to the point. Liang Ze is also not the type to go around in a circle, for him, one is one, and two is two; straight to the point.
Hang Hang wanted to ask him whether he would be willing to give each other another chance. Would he be able to accept being with a man or not.
If the answer is yes, then Hang Hang would face all obstacles together with Liang Ze. As long as Liang Ze has a little tiny bit of feeling towards him that is not a friends.h.i.+p feeling, then no matter what kind of pain they may go through, he will endure it. Hang Hang would work it out together with Liang Ze. Not because of anything else, it is only because Liang Ze is someone he loves, someone he wants to be with for the rest of his life.
And if the answer is no, then…
Frankly speaking, Hang Hang had never thought about this answer.
He was holding onto his hope, he did not believe that Liang Ze did not harbor a little tiny bit of love towards him.
But if the result really comes out to be like such…
Hang Hang sat there thinking, forcing himself to think of the worst possible. After all, reality is much worse than a dream. If so, he would delete Liang Ze's phone number, block his w.a.n.g w.a.n.g, and make sure to never get in touch with him for the rest of his life. Cut all ties, completely cut all ties with him. If he says that there is nothing between them, then it is better that they have nothing at all. After all, he is not a saint, he cannot force himself to say "let's still be friends," he cannot say those non-human language words. Over the years, going from full moon to eclipse moon*, it had taught Hang Hang how to be decisive in cutting off all ties, sometimes it is wise to cut all ends. Hang Hang was very convinced with such principle.
[T/N: Going from full moon to eclipse moon – Chinese idiom of saying – months after months, years after years – been through a lot and experience has taught the person a lesson or two]
{Translator Input: I do agree with Hang Hang. It's hard to still be friends with your ex, especially if you are still harboring feelings for that person. In Hang Hang's case, he is still in love with Liang Ze, but he decides to break it off because he knows that it will not end very well; he might end up hurting himself; so he tries to save himself from the misery. Being friends with someone you're still in love with is not an easy thing. Been there done that. It's not a happy ending. The ONLY time that this "let's be friends" logic goes well is when you have absolutely no feeling for your ex. That's just human's emotion. I'm not saying that no one can escape it. My word of advice: be wise in your choices, and make sure that that choice is not going to lead you to h.e.l.l. ^^}
***
Right when Liang Ze got off the phone with Hang Hang, he immediately walked out. He did not expect Hang Hang to call him, and he had not just given him a phone call, he had even asked him to meet up. Liang Ze had always thought that Hang Hang would never want to see his face again. The one thing had been depressing him these days was that he was letting Ikkyu stay with Hang Hang and Long Long…
{Translator Input: Oh, WTF? =.= seriously…I'm done with this guy}
{Editor's Input: I agree with you.}
But now, it seemed that everything was not as bad as he had thought.
Withdrawing themselves from the scope of love, maybe…their friends.h.i.+p would come back to them. What if they were once being absurd? After cooling down, they would be able to find a way to face each other again, would they not?
Having no contact with Hang Hang for over half a month, Liang Ze found himself extremely irritable, and very impetuous. He had not even written one word for the novel, and he had had to use old drafts to fill in his column for the magazine article. He was not happy, in fact he was very unhappy and he hoped that Hang Hang would still be around and would always smile gently at him.
{Translator Input: Darling, you're in love but…your way of dealing with your feeling is just…seriously, I just want to chop his head off and hang it at the North gate of the city, there!}
Now, that opportunity had finally come.
The moment he sees Hang Hang, he must take the initiative to tell him: Shuaige! I really miss you! If we cannot be lovers, then we can still be friends! You're my irreplaceable friend.
Yes, just like that and frankly plead to him!
Liang Ze fantasized up a beautiful scenario — the shop owner will smile and say, "Sure, we can still be friends". And then he gets to go to the store everyday to play with Hang Hang, and to play with his adorable chinchillas. Yes, this was Liang Ze's thinking. In his world, all kinds of feelings: friends.h.i.+p, affection, and love are all so well-deserved like that, he can always have it as long as he wants it.
Is it right to say that he is too naive? That is hard to define.
Hang Hang watched as the man rushed into the store, looking left and right. It also made him feel anxious. He drank a mouthful of tea, and was about to speak up when heard…
"Boss, did you see a very handsome guy come here?"
Hang Hang really wanted to hide under the table now, so embarra.s.sing =.=
When he glanced over to that side, the shop owner was also staggering.
"You didn't see him? He's very handsome! He is about as tall as me, but much more handsome than me, has slender eyes, his nose especially straight…"
"Liang Ze!" Hang Hang decided that he needed to stop him before Liang Ze threw their pride out of the window.
The shop owner looked over to Hang Hang, and he was even more surprised.
"I'm sorry, Brother Chen, this is my friend…"
"Shuaige! I miss you so much!" Liang Ze saw Hang Hang, and his eyes widened and he immediately rushed over, lifted up the curtain and sat down on the chair.
Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze, and his heart felt touched. "I missed you too." It seemed…
"Shuaige, I have something to tell you…"
"Liang Ze, I…"
They both said at the same time.
The shop owner saw that they both had finally settled in their seats, thus he went downstairs. After all, there was only one table upstairs, and it was his regular patrons. Almost everyone was working overtime today to get more rest time for May 1st.
"Shuaige, you go first." Liang Ze said as he laughed he he. He felt all happy when he saw Hang Hang.
"You go first." Hang Hang said in courtesy.
"No rush no rush, ah, can I smoke here?"
"Oh, go ahead."
"Ok!"
Looking at Liang Ze's jolly face made Hang Hang rethink some of his ideas, but then he still said it, "It's like this, from the day we separated until now…"
"You feel particularly uncomfortable, right?" Liang Ze lighted up his cigarette and threw the lighter onto the table.
"You were uncomfortable?" Hang Hang gazed at him.
"Yeah, really uncomfortable, I felt completely lost, not knowing what to do all day long, ha ha …"
Hang Hang could feel his heart jumping out of his chest, he reached out his hands across the table and held Liang Ze's hand, "Let's give it try a second time? Try to accept me."
Liang Ze was stunned at hearing those words, he did not retreat his hand, but hooked his finger at Hang Hang, "What did you say?"
It was Hang Hang's turn to get surprised.
"Shuaige, you said to try again?"
"Um, yeah." Hang Hang felt a bit embarra.s.sed, holding up his cup of tea, his hands were shaking so bad that it shook the tea within it.
"Try what? You and I…try doing that?"
"No, not that. It is…"
"To be friends, isn't it?" Liang Ze grinned.
"Friends?"
"That's right, if not doing that, then it must be that we are still friends! Not a problem! I came here today with that thought in mind, you see we are so close to each other that we would miss one another if we were separated…"
"Just friends?" Hang Hang interrupted Liang Ze.
"Uh, yeah, if it's not that then what?"
"…"
Hang Hang got silence.
Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang for a moment and noticed something was not right, so he quickly asked, "Shuaige, you?"
"You and I, continue to be just friends?" Hang Hang mechanically repeated.
"Yeah, we can play together, watch movies together, eat together, and help get rid of each other's boredom. Becoming a pair of inseparable friends for the rest of our lives!" These days Liang Ze had done a lot of thinking about how their relations.h.i.+p getting to this stage now, he realized that the problem is him; he had put himself in the wrong position, Hang Hang is gay, but he is not. He was being greedy for wanting to have a warm friend, a friend that thoroughly understands him. Therefore, he must correct it now, be sure to correct it.
Hang Hang listened to these words coming out from Liang Ze, except these words were no longer just words, they had turned into sharp knives that carved each wound into his fragile heart.
"Liang Ze." It took him a really long time for him to put back his language function, "Since the beginning I had told you, didn't I? This is not like you going to an electric store to buy an appliance, where you can return it if it doesn't work."
"I didn't return!"
"What do you mean by just be normal friends?"
"It…it…" Liang Ze was stunned by Hang Hang's anger.
"What is it?"
"It is…to return back to the beginning."
"You think it's a tape? That you can rewind? Or it's a rewritable CD?" Hang Hang did not think that he would become this raging at this moment.
"Shuaige, why are you getting mad?"
"Liang Ze. I want you to tell me, can you be my lover or not."
Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang, then twisted off the cigarette in his hand, "I just want to be your friend."
"Ah." Hang Hang smiled but his heart was now completely shattered, and it was crying inside him, "We should stop here, I've completely understood."
"Shuaige!" seeing Hang Hang stand up, Liang Ze also stood up. He pulled on Hang Hang's wrist, wanting to say something, but…
"Liang Ze, I will not be friend with you. If we didn't start it, then maybe we could, but now…"
"Shuaige, what do you mean? How can we not be friends?"
"Because in my heart, you took a part of it where we cannot go back to being friends." Hang Hang walked past Liang Ze, "from today onward, let's pretend that we don't know each other."
"Shuaige! Not know each other? What do you mean by pretend?"
Hang Hang did not reply, and only walked to the stairs.
"Hang Hang!" Liang Ze chased after him.
"Don't pull me back."
"Why do you have to cut all ties like that?"
"Because I've fallen in love with you." tears r.i.m.m.i.n.g the corner of his eyes, Hang Hang tried his best to lower down his head. When he finally got away from Liang Ze, the vision in front of him was blurry.
Liang Ze watched as Hang Hang walked down those stairs, and then disappeared in the view.
Liang Ze stood there for a long time, and then headed back to the table they were sitting at earlier. Outside the window was the same scenery, a half empty cup of tea on the table, some cigarette b.u.t.ts and their ash in the ashtray. The only difference was that now there was an empty s.p.a.ce in front of him. The wind blowing through the window slightly lifted up the gra.s.s seed curtain, the curtain swayed along with the wind, creating a forlorn mellow sound.
Liang Ze suddenly stood up, stretched out the upper half of his body and leaned against the window sill.
Where can I see Hang Hang?
Nowhere.
"From today onward, let's pretend that we don't know each other."
"Because I've fallen in love with you."
How did it turn out to be like this?
"Shuaige! You and I live a lonely life together, until old age."
"Sure."
How did it end up to be like this?
***
Hang Hang had been walking. He pa.s.sed through the lotus market, pa.s.sed by the Prince Gong House, and then he finally came to Huguosi snack street. He did not feel tired, but really exhausted. Staring at the four extended roads from southbound of the West side of Hu Guo Temple towards the main street, he saw a lot of pedestrians. He only stopped and looked into s.p.a.ce for a moment, and then turned back.Lotus MarketPrince Gong MansionHuguosi Snack Street
The alley was still relatively quiet, except for an auntie holding onto a basket of vegetables, but there was no one. And then he walked back to the lotus market, he stopped in front of a bar hut near the bank river. He looked around, and then sat down.
The bar hut was not open yet, so no one came by to bother him.
So he just sat there, watching as the wind brushed by the water surface.
It is now over.
It abruptly ended like that, because he was still looking forward to something before.
He did not know how long he had been sitting there, until a waiter came by his table, "Sir, may I serve you with something?"
Hang Hang unconsciously looked back and stared into the other's face, "Anything."
"Anything?"
"I just want to sit here for awhile."
The waiter looked at Hang Hang with hesitant, "This is a bar, and we are now open for business…"
"Exactly! That's why I said anything is fine."
Raising his voice like that, not just the waiter but even Hang Hang felt surprised.
"Sorry, get me a Corona."
"Ah…Ok…please wait for a moment…"
Summer is coming, and the days are getting longer and longer. Hang Hang remembered it was the summer of last year that Liang Ze had entered into his life. Hang Hang really did not want to think about this person, but he could not control his thinking. You knew we couldn't have a good ending, why didn't you reject me sooner? Liang Ze had many chances to refuse him, but he did not do so, instead he followed Hang Hang's pace, and the result was when they crossed the finish line, he told him that he was not here for the walking marathon, but here for the shot put.
Hang Hang really wanted to hate Liang Ze, but he could not bring himself to.
After finis.h.i.+ng a bottle of Corona, Hang Hang deleted Liang Ze's phone number.
This alcoholic beverage, the moment one has a taste of its sweet heaven, one cannot suppress its craving. The more Hang Hang drank it, the more he could not control himself; in the end, he got knocked out on his table.
At first there was a girl asking him if he wanted to buy some flowers, and then a very inharmonious band started to sing: I have loved a boy, maybe now he already has some children, and on every winter evening, he would teach them how to sing next to the fireplace. The fire burns slowly, my heart also begins to quiver, but I don't know why I start to cry, maybe because I'm reminiscing my youthful day…
Translator Note: So here you have it, this is the part where the series makes its end. And we have like only…8 chapters left to go for the main story. I know many of you are saying "Where is season 2?" "What happened to season 2?" or "Is it get banned?" My answer to you all: THERE IS NO SEASON 2. AND NO IT DID NOT GET BANNED. That "get banned" reasoning has been overused >.> it has become such a convenient excuse for people to make whenever a webseries got an open ending. Why don't we think about it in a more positive way. The reason it was ended so abruptly like that is: 1. They have no more money; 2. The author wants you to go read her book, so she asked for it to end like that; 3. The director is playing with our emotions, making us feel anxious over nothing; 4. They just wanted to end it there. There are many possibilities in this case, so don't give it such a negative thinking ^^ In my opinion, they can extend it one more episode for the remaining 8 chapters; because from the beginning, they squished like 7 chapters into one episode anyway. So they just want us to look up the story and read about it. (That's my thinking). On the side note: the director did direct the two epilogues, you should look up them on youtube or something; I remember watching them on youtube, you can put in the name of the story and then put "Special", "Side Story", "Epilogue", 'special episodes". The each of the special episode is only 8 minutes (minus the intro and ending song); so the total is like less than 20 minutes. Since wattpad does not let me link, I will share with you methods I use when I want to look up something. All and all, if you really want to watch it, you can always find a way to it. Trust me, I looked up thai BL and watched them in Thai without sub, annoying but I get to see what's going on and I'm happy with it. LOL so I bet everyone can do the same ^^