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Chapter 73




「Thank you! Come again~」
Ah~ This part time job is so bo~ring! Seriously, what dumb luck! I’m single again, yet I can’t find a good guy to be with
 and none of my girlfriends are prioritizing me over their partners
 Man, I have nothing else to turn to but work! I’m holding two part time jobs, working at a cafe and this restaurant, just to earn money
 it’s lifeless. (Waitress)
　*ring-a-dingâ™Ș*
Haa~ A customer’s here! Got to be on my toes and serve ‘em! (Waitress)
「Welcome~」　*wide smile!*
「Since we’re here at Saizeriya, how ’bout we settle for having our meal on the third floor?
「That’s an excellent choice! Saizeriya is a fairly renowned Italian restaurant, and the prices are quite affordable, so since we’re students, it won’t be a burden on our wallets.」
「Ahaha~ Sakura, what are you doing? You sound as if you’re a spokesperson for them~」
Gah! Aren’t they the couple I saw last time at the cafe right in front of the train station I was part-timing at? Hang on! Why is there another woman hanging onto him!? And, those breasts
 what the heck did she consume to have those!???
Grr
 When I look at those dangling in front of me, it reminds me how I was dumped by that jerk――
『 I can’t accept being with a girl that’s B cup or under. That’s my rule of thumb. Sorry
』
You fucking piece of shit, then we should have never dated from the start! Sure, it’s partly my fault too that I deceived you with the extra padding that I wore, but those words were uncalled for! Bloody fucks
 The girl this customer was with last time was even flatter than I was, yet this time around, that plus one’s breasts are against the rules! Are you trying to pick a fight!? (Waitress)
「T-Three of you, right? Please sit over here
」　← Expressionless
「Yes! We got ourselves a table!」　*draws closer*
「It looks like it’s just after the peak period, hence why there’s a lot more seats available.」
「When Saizeriya gets too busy, it can be awfully packed, and there are times they even split the tables up~」　*bounce bounce*

 Hmm? On second thought, what even is the relationship between that trio? It’s as if those two beauties are scrambling to fight for the affection of that dull looking guy sandwiched in between them by clinging onto him
 Could it be..? An actual scene of carnage!? Even so, it’s surprising that both sides are just smiling pleasantly at each other
 Hang on, that’s beside the point! Why the heck are those two pretty girls fighting over such an unattractive man like him!? I haven’t even met anyone new, yet
 This world is just so freaking unfair!!! (Waitress)
I don’t know why but that waitress has been scowling at me since a few minutes ago
 As I expected, when anyone else sees a man with two pretty girls clinging onto both arms, all they’ll see is what a fucking bloody philanderer. Even if I were to admit that I’m, in reality, just a nerdy『loner』, no one would believe me. Boohoo

Now, as this is a four seater table, designed for two couples facing each other, I’m going to take my seat first and as long as Asakura-san and Momoi-san both sit on the opposite end

Phew~ My arms will finally know sweet release! (Andou)
***
【Ideal】
　 Me
「 Table 」Waitress
　Asakura, Momoi
【Reality】
　Asakura, Me, Momoi
「 Table 」Waitress
*empty*
***
「Have
 Have you decided on your order
」　← Expressionless
「Now, I wonder what should I order?」　*closes in tightly*
「





」
「What shall I pick? I just can’t decide~」　*bounce bounce*
Why did it play out like this!? (Waitress & Andou)
I mean, isn’t this weird? Usually, it’s understood that the couple will be seated together; yet, with the three of us squashed in a couple seat meant for two, it’s not even their breasts that’s an issue anymore ! I can feel their entire bodies in contact with mine. It’s an ultra perilous situationnnnn!!!!! (Andou)
Alright, go dye! Not dye, DIE! This lady-killer riajuu bastard!!! AAAARRRGHHH! A popular guy like you shouldn’t show up at the restaurant I’m working in!!! I swear
 an asshole like you, isn’t going to get anyyyyy service out of me! (Waitress)
「For me, I’ll have the soft-boiled egg carbonara!」　*rubs tightly*
「I-I
I’ll have the beef stew omurice」
「I think~ I’ll have the hamburg plate set~」　*squish squish*
And as for me, this entire hour is going to be the start of a living hell. (Waitress)
***
「Thanks for waiting, here are your orders.」　← Expressionless
「Momo, that’s surprising! I didn’t expect you to eat that much.」
「Yep, that’s true~ I can eat quite a bit~

　You know, as they say, I’m still in my『growth』period~â™Ș」　*BOOM*
「Ugh
」　*facepalm*
Well, I didn’t say anything about where all those nutrients are going~â™Ș (Momoi)
Why you wily fox
 (Asakura)
「My, My, My
 Is that so? It’s great that you’re still in your growth period, Momo~~ As for me, well look!
　Compared to you, I have a body which has none of those『useless fats』after all
」
It’s not like I pointed out where those parts were though. (Asakura)
Why this goose
 (Momoi)
「He-Hey, both of you are just as equally splendid! Let’s just eat~」
T-To me, I think all『breasts』are just as equally gorgeous
 I guess? (Andou)
「My, oh my, ufufu
」　*rubs tightly*
「Aw~ My dear Sakura
 Right?」　*squish squish*
They’re even flirting after that fight
 (Waitress)
「Okay, Andou-kunâ™Ș　Have some of this~ Open wide and say『aaah』â™Ș」　*squish*
「Eh! Momoi-san!?」
「Wai――Momo! If that’s the case, h-h-h-here, this too! Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
　S-Say『aaah』


 for me?」　*rubs tightly*
And just when I thought the meal was coming to an end
 (Waitress)
「Andou-kun? You know, I noticed earlier that you called Sakura by her name.」
「Hah!? I did?」
「Eh, Momo
Are you serious!?」
「Yup! Though, Sakura didn’t pay much attention to it then
 (as expected
)」
Well, seeing as they didn’t really like standing out that much back then, I thought I’ll just withhold the penalty till after we had switched locations. (Momoi)
「Does that mean
?」
「W-Which means
!!!」
「Yup, bingo!」
「「The penalty!」」
「Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa! How could I make such a careless mistakeeeeeee!」
Fufufu! After I’m done completely making fun of Andou-kun, and provoking Sakura, it’s time for Andou-kun to whisper sweet nothings to Sakura! Once she listens to them, she’ll forget everything I’ve done till now, and I’ll be right as rain! (Momoi)
「Now, go right ahead!」
「I-I’m ready whenever you are」　*thump thump*
「



」　*thump thump*
Grrr! Just when I thought Momoi-san had finally released my arm, now this! There’s just no way out of this
 I have no choice but to accept my fate. But『sweet nothings』? Does this mean I can say anything? Of course, how silly of me! It’s Asakura-san that I’m dealing with. Let just go with lines from that famous light novel! (Andou)
「Juliet
 Maybe we really are two as one
 I even feel a queer form of affection between us

　And now, our fates have intertwined. They’ll disappear together as this ship explodes




　—-I

Love



You. Juliet




」　
「—–!!!」*The words are like an arrow straight to the heart <3 <3 <3!*
T-Those lines! Isn’t that the speech from volume 1 of that really famous light novel『John’s Bizarre Adventures』? In the last marital dispute between the hero and the heroine-cum-rival and last boss, Diolina; even though she was reduced to only her head, the hero who was on the verge of dying had announced,『Even if this is all that remains of you, I love you』, then they died together in the ship explosion, leading to this speech that led into Volume 2’s Hell arc. (Asakura)
「Er, Andou-kun
? Don’t those words sound like a death flag–」
「That was
 the best! I can just die happy now!」
「–Wait, what? You’re good with that, Sakura!?」
「




」
Flipping, flapping, Flocking showoffs!!! You’re all soooooo annnoyyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!! (Waitress)
「Weeeeelllllllllllllccoooooooommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!」




 Hnn? Hang on, what’s this『Juliet』business all about? (Waitress)
Translation Note:
1) I’m not a Jojo fan so 
 it took me googling it in Japanese + the help of 5d100 to find the actual phrasing in the official English version to include. You’re welcome. *GASPS* Please don’t spam me with Jojo memes. I beg you!\n