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Chapter 38: Principles (2)
[ T/N: For the fastest release, read on ReadingPia.me ]
Asena knew she was doing something wrong, but she couldn’t contain her anger when she saw Cayden coming out of Daisy’s room.
Without thinking about means, she wanted Cayden to promise that this would never happen again.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. It must have been because of a wasp that he went inside to help Daisy. But the first time was always difficult, after that everything gets easier. She didn't want him to make a habit to go into Daisy's room.
Because they would get closer like that, step by step, what would happen then?
It was meaningless to respond after it was too late. She instantly decided to nip the future problem in the bud.
Because if the two of them came together...
...Asena herself did not know what she was going to do. Perhaps, only after destroying the Hexter family would the resentment be resolved a little.
So, Asena just wanted to make sure it wouldn't happen again. And when Cayden would come to Asena's room that night as punishment, she was willing to do anything to apologize.
But Cayden didn’t give up no matter what tactics Asena used.
Most of the time, Asena admired her Oppa's upright appearance, but at times like these it was frustrating.
Was it because he was an honest man from the heart? He never hesitated to call the right thing right. So expectedly, Cayden refused to apologize, saying he wasn’t wrong.
But right and wrong were subjective in the end. From Asena’s point of view, it was Cayden’s fault; it was unacceptable for her that Cayden entered a woman’s room.
He could come to her and Keirsey's room. Other than them, no one had such a right.
Maybe it was because Asena saw the bedroom as a special place; Except for Cayden's warm arms, her bedroom was the only resting place for her, so the symbolism of the space was different:
Personal space, comfortable space, loving space, a place to share deep love….
So, Cayden going into Daisy’s room…. Of course, she had a roommate, but it was still upsetting that he entered Daisy’s room.
“……”
But, everything went wrong.
Asena couldn’t concentrate in class. She maintained a firm expression, but inside, she was in shambles.
'Duchess Pryster, we are getting late. Let’s go to class.'
Cayden’s stern tone echoed in her ears. Every time she remembered that voice, it was as if a needle was piercing her heart.
Unknowingly, she held her breath. His words had never her hurt so much.
It was an attitude he showed toward strangers... It felt as if all the memories and emotions they shared for more than 10 years had disappeared.
Of course, Asena knew it too.
That she was stupid. It was her mistake.
But again, it was difficult to maintain reason easily when Cayden was involved.
She pressured a friend he cherished, and tried to suppress him with words. Even though she knew he was angry, she didn’t recall her words and pushed him further.
The result was this.
“…..”
Asena’s heart was really complicated.
Knowing she did something wrong, she wanted to apologize to Cayden and beg him to stop…
But because she was angry at him as well, she had mixed feelings.
Though Cayden had never said it, she knew he wouldn’t behave like this for the rest of his life.
In the end, it was just his punishment. No, maybe it could be said that it was because he was angry.
But Asena was equally angry.
Even if she kept Daisy's matter aside, how could he be like this?
How could he talk to her in a tone as if he didn’t know her anymore?
It was Asena, his younger sister who was together with him for 10 years. How could he do this to her?
It was not like he didn’t know how important Cayden was to her. He knew that she depended on him a lot.
Without him, she didn’t even know how broken she would become.
“….Phew.”
Asena was in an emotionally difficult state. It was difficult to understand why these stimuli kept forcing her to make foolish choices.
First of all, she didn’t want to apologize.
Even though she knew it was absurd stubbornness, Asena wanted him to approach her first.
She still wanted proof that he valued her. She wanted to know that she wasn’t already an unrelated person. Unlike his tone, she wanted to feel that she wasn’t that far away.
She wanted to take advantage of how generous he was to her and Keirsey.
If he didn’t come back, they would just become like they were in childhood, broken, ruined: dolls without souls. Then he would regret it too. He would feel guilty.
Maybe… Cayden knew this too. Yeah, he wouldn’t leave her alone.
As much as Cayden was angry, he would feel sorry for them when his head cooled down. He would come back again, they would talk about that event with embarrassing laughs, and everything would go back to normal.
“…”
But… it wasn’t that she wasn’t worried. Because she loved him so much, even the smallest problems kept getting bigger and bigger; she began to overthink.
What if this was the end? What if he didn’t care what happens to them anymore? As he said, what if after two years of this kind of bitter relationship, he actually left them?
Asena couldn’t believe that Cayden would behave that way, but the thought alone was painful.
In the end, Asena could not come to a conclusion.
She couldn’t come up with a plan as to what attitude she should show.
It was all she could do to keep her emotions in check.
Though she had a really hard time doing that.
✧ ✧ ✧
I waited outside the political science department for classes to finish. So did Judy, who was standing next to me.
“…I’m sorry...”
“…it’s not your fault.”
I apologized to Judy, but she shrugged it off.
“Because they are my sisters. Their actions are my responsibility.”
“Don’t worry. I was expecting that from a Pryster.”
“…..”
She spoke dryly, but it was not difficult to find the hidden meaning in it. Just by not looking at me, I could tell that she was hurt to some extent.
“…I’ll buy you a meal later.”
“…..”
Then Judy looked at me.
“…As I said I’m not mad at you. But Duchess Pryster… that... How did you survive all your life with a kid like that?”
Even in front of me, Judy did not hesitate to swear at my younger sister, Asena.
“…She's not like that when we’re alone.”
“…How is she when you are alone?”
“…When alone, she is good. Unlike today, she also listens to me.”
“…What?”
Judy looked at me for a long time, then snorted.
“…it’s hard to believe.”
“Really. What am I going to do by lying? She just worries about ruining Prysters' reputation by being like that in front of other people.”
“Can... Asena Pryster be a good listener...?”
“Trust me, she is. I told you before. When we were young, the twins were having a hard time, I was there for them and we got along well.”
“Are you saying that they are still good even after fighting like that today?”
“…that’s right.”
Judy let out a long sigh. It was like she was spitting out her frustration.
She spoke to me in a slightly calmer voice.
“By the way. You really don’t have to apologize anymore. I feel somewhat relieved because you punished Asena.”
“Yes?”
“She couldn’t even move because you started talking respectfully... But that Asena Pryster. Why is she sad when she is trying to expel you?”
“She likes me, but she probably hates me being a Pryster.”
“It must be very difficult. You took care of those women, but when they grew up, the only thing they said to you was to leave the family. Like sugarcane, they just sucked the sweet water and now throwing you away.”
“……”
I couldn’t say anything. There was no reason to make excuses, and it wasn’t wrong in the first place. That was the part that made me sad too.
Judy looked up at me gently.
She scratched her head once, then opened her mouth hesitantly.
“…I got a reply from my father.”
“About me being a vassal?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“…”
She spoke in a slightly lowered voice as if telling a secret.
“No.”
“….Well.”
I nodded. It wasn’t as disappointing as I thought. Maybe it was because I expected it to some extent.
“…okay. Sigh. I didn’t think about it at all. After all, I'm from a hostile family, and they might even feel I'm a spy.”
“Cayden, listen... He said he can’t do it right now, he's not saying there is no way at all.”
“Yes?”
“Actually, I was only going to tell my father… I guess things got bigger at home. My brothers and sisters also talked about this.”
“Your siblings…”
“Right...”
There was a look of worry on Judy’s face as she said that, so I asked in concern.
“…Are you okay?”
“…I don’t know. I was just going to ask my father about it… Anyway, this is not important. There were differences of opinion.”
“…Did they go all the way to the pros and cons?”
“Yes. A number of people, including my older sister, were against it, and my father and older brother must have agreed. But even though my brother and my father agreed… Seeing that you were still denied to be a vassal, you can see how much opposition from other people was, right?”
With her words, I quickly got a sense of what the Ice family was like. Again, as it was a family of pioneers in the novel, Ice Duke seemed to respect the words of the family members.
“My father and my brother certainly seem to value you being able to act as a window between the two families as you said. Also, you know that no matter how much you try to dig up information as a vassal, it’s not as simple as it sounds.”
“But in the end, they still could not accept.”
“Yes. But, Knight Captain said that he was willing to accept you… if you get good grades at the academy. He wants to see your efforts.”
“That’s it…? I was originally going to do that.”
“…But the standards are pretty strict...”
“What if I come first in the Knight department?”
“…that is...”
“Then there will be no problem?”
“Yes, but the captain was just one of them. There are many more, but the list is so long that I couldn't even memorize it all.”
“…Well...”
My head got complicated and I brushed my chin. I also had the desire to leave the family, but going to the Ice family was a question I expressed quite lightly, and it was taking shape through Judy's work.
While I was thinking about it, Judy hesitated next to me, as if she still had more to say. She sighed, opened and closed her mouth, bit her lower lip, flicked her fingers on her thigh, and was restless like a desperate puppy.
“…What's wrong, Judy?”
“Ah…that…I want to say this…”
“Well, tell me everything. I should know now that things have gotten this big.”
Was it something difficult to say?
In fact, since I was from the Pryster family, I was somewhat prepared to hear harsh words.
They were not Judy’s words anyway, so they wouldn't hurt me either.
In the end, it’s only the people I cherish who hurt my heart.
“And one more thing. There is a way to become a member of the family without needing all of this…”
I pondered the words she spoke in a strange tone.
“…a member of the family? Not a vassal?”
“…that…if you marry me…it’s okay to be in family…”
Judy turned her head and spat out words.
“…my sister… said so.”