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Chapter 34: Dream (5)
[ T/N: For the fastest release, read on ReadingPia.me ]
Even when Cayden wiped away the tears again, Keirsey couldn’t believe the situation.
“Oh my gosh… your pretty face will be ruined.”
He still had a gentle smile, but the future he spoke of was something she had never experienced before; To part ways.
She couldn’t accept this.
It was Cayden who had filled her empty heart since her parents left.
He was the older brother who led the way so that they could set foot again in the world they were too afraid of.
His efforts set an example, and his jokes made their worries seem silly.
Sitting together at the setting sun and looking at him beside her who had his eyes closed, her heart pounded and she thought that there was nothing to be afraid of in the world.
He was her salvation and her blessing.
If Keirsey had to choose just one treasure in this world, if she had to choose the last thing she wouldn't give up even when the world ended, it was Cayden.
She never doubted that he would be by her side for the rest of her life. Because no matter what she did, he came back to her.
Even when she accidentally spilled his food, even when the fever soared and kept him from sleeping all night, even if she pouted at him and fought for a few days, even if she spat out harsh words... He always came back with a gentle smile.
Most of all, he had promised to always be by their side. And he never broke any promise.
But now he said he was leaving.
He refused to stand next to them any longer.
He said that he would no longer stand beside her as her support. He would no longer kiss the forehead to say good night, tell funny jokes, pat their head, or share the day with them.
Not by an unstoppable external force, but by his choice; he was leaving them on his own.
“……”
Keirsey still didn’t say anything.
Only tears continued to flow.
'No way.'
'Is this a self-inflicted disaster?'
'Did my words come back to me?'
Thinking like that, it was hard for her to breathe.
Was it because she wanted to keep him by her side that made him leave?
Cayden was now wiping her tears with both hands.
“You know too. I am a commoner, and you are a great aristocrat. If you draw lines on a pumpkin, it won’t turn into a watermelon. No matter how much I add the last name ‘Pryster’ to my name, at the end I am a commoner.”
“……”
Keirsey’s head was dizzy. She couldn’t see well in front of her eyes. Neither could she open her mouth.
“I didn’t know I was such an idiot. You knew better than anyone.”
At the words, ‘You knew better than anyone’, Keirsey’s heart was pounding again.
After all, he knew what she said behind him. The cursing meant only to get rid of others had entered his ears.
But talking behind the scenes was a thing of the distant past. It was something that had even been silenced because of Cayden's increasing popularity these days.
So, if he knew, he probably wouldn’t have found out recently; He pretended not to know even though he had known and heard everything a long time ago. He still came to her with a smile. He still cared about her all this time.
Keirsey looked at Cayden with a bitter smile.
'What was in your mind? Did you hate me? Or did you hate yourself for showing kindness to such a trashy person?'
Tears continued to flow, but she still couldn't believe he was leaving.
“So I will leave. Guys, don’t be too sad. Let’s work hard in our own positions.”
His words of leaving once more woke up Keirsey. They made her stiff mouth move.
“…don’t…don’t say nonsense. Oppa. Whoa…! You...If you go to another family, we can only see each other once every few years…!”
Even talking about it made her afraid of that distant time. She’d really go crazy if they lived apart for so long.
“I will send letters often. You’ll get used to it soon too.”
“…it’s hard to be away for a day now…”
At that moment, Keirsey felt a wild rage rising from somewhere in her heart.
It was as if something inside her – something dangerous that she didn't even know about – was raising its head.
Keirsey pushed Cayden’s arm away, which was caressing her cheek, and wiped her eyes roughly with her sleeve.
And looking at him, she said:
“…Oppa… did you forget why you came to the academy so late? It was to be with us…! So why are you saying you're leaving?”
“…I am confused now. Did you ask me to wait to go with you? Or was I the one who proposed it?”
Keirsey swallowed her saliva.
She said all those things because she wanted to hide and control him. It was all because she loved him.
She knew too that it was done without his permission. That he might hate it. However, it was also true that deep down in her heart, there was a perception that he would eventually forgive her.
“I have no intention of being your burden. If it’s always what we’re supposed to do outside… I’d better leave.”
Cayden took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Keirsey’s tears again, to calm her down with his usual touch. But Keirsey did not calm down that much.
“…how can that be right? Oppa, you came into the family just for us! Then you have to listen to me-”
Asena immediately cut off Keirsey, who lost her senses and spat out whatever came to her mind to shackle him.
“Keirsey!”
“……”
“……ah.”
Saying that they brought him into the family only for them, not for anything else. It wasn’t wrong, but Cayden would certainly feel sad because of it.
Because he didn't mean much then at all, and as she said, it could feel like he had to live only for themselves.
“…Is that what you thought?”
Saying that Cayden handed off the handkerchief to Keirsey.
She just realized what she was missing; Even the last warmth he shared with her seemed to have been pushed back by herself.
“Oh, no. Oppa. It’s not what I meant! Because you’re leaving me-“
“-Oppa has feelings too, Keirsey. There are things I don’t want to do, and there are times when I’m sad. I get hurt too.”
“No... I was wrong, Oppa...”
Asena too joined in.
“Oppa. Please calm down. Keirsey is not in the right mental state right now. Yeah, I too was like that before.”
But Cayden seemed to ignore her and said:
“I never told you...”
“……?”
“…?”
“Why did I join the Pryster family? I never told you, right?”
He was silent for a few seconds, then he slowly said.
“I didn’t want to come.”
“uh…?”
Keirsey raised a question. There was no reason to be sad because it was a time when he did not know them, but for some reason, her heart felt like it was stabbed.
“Grandma asked me to come, but I said no at first. Because… I had younger siblings in the orphanage.”
Keirsey felt her heart pounding. She felt as if she had lost her position. It was a natural story, but hearing it through his mouth, there was a shock for some reason.
Was it because she always thought that they were his only younger siblings? Did he love his younger siblings as much as he loved them?
“By the way, that’s what Grandma said. 'If you come to the Prysters, I will provide food for your younger siblings.'”
Cayden stood up. Keirsey had to tilt her head upward to meet his gaze.
“So if you think I’ve been sold like a slave, Keirsey. That is an illusion.”
“…Ugh…No…”
Cayden sighed heavily.
“…okay. I know. Those words must have been said without thinking. But… now I’m having a hard time too. I just wanted to live a happy life…Why should I feel betrayed by you?”
“……”
“Okay. And now you have grown up anyway. My role is over.”
Asena got up from her seat and approached him.
She didn’t show what emotions she was feeling, but he could tell that she was hiding various things. Like a true Pryster - a snake - she approached him.
“…Oppa. Please calm down.”
“…..”
“I promise you in my name. This will never happen again. We still need Oppa, and I hope Oppa doesn’t leave because of this. You always…forgave us. One last time… please?”
“……”
Keirsey also staggered and dragged herself, and tangled in Cayden’s leg. Asena slowly raised her arms and wrapped them around Cayden’s neck. The distance was enough to feel each other's breath.
“…Sorry. Forgive us now.”
“……”
Cayden looked into Asena’s eyes for a long time. Asena didn’t avert her eyes either.
Cayden nodded slowly.
“…I told you already, I've forgiven you. But my decision won't change. Let’s go our separate ways.”
Asena’s expression stirred up in agitation. Two arms wrapped around his neck were filled with strength, and intense emotions swirled in her eyes. Though Cayden didn't understand whether those emotions were bitterness or anger... probably both.
Ignoring her eyes, Cayden spoke.
“There is only one thing I want. As much as I have agreed to forgive you, I hope from now on we will not interfere in each other’s paths. We keep doing it, but we're not here to fight, right? I forgave you, and it is right for me to leave now.”
“…Why are you doing this…Oppa… And where are you going? Oppa's seat is by my side… I think I'll go crazy…”
Asena, as if frustrated, brought her face closer. She spoke to Cayden with strength, word by word, but again, he did not waver.
“Asena, Keirsey. I’ll tell you one last time.”
“…..”
“I can’t bear this pain anymore. I know now, it's not my place. And it’s not your fault, actually. My family is like this, my birth is like this, so there is nothing I can do about it. So I want to spend the rest of my life in a place where I don’t get sick, with just like-minded people… who appreciate my efforts. Can’t you bless me?”
Keirsey reached out and grabbed Cayden’s shirt. With the rest of her hand, she patted his chest.
“Oppa… then you should be by my side even more, no? I'll appreciate you the most... And I'm someone you like.. right?”
“Your heart is right, Keirsey. But if your actions speak otherwise, it is very different.”
“Then what does that mean? You mean you'll live with a woman other than me?”
“You sound strange, Keirsey. Was it supposed to be like that?”
A little bit of strength escaped from Keirsey’s grasp.
Her heart was strangely twisted. She couldn’t understand a single word of Cayden.
“…and even get married?”
“I have to do it someday.”
“…for the rest of our life…by my side…”
She murmured like a doll. It was the moment when the iron-stone belief was broken. She thought he would stay by her side without getting married.
“If things hadn’t come this far, I would have gotten married anyway.”
Keirsey imagined Cayden with another woman unwittingly. She imagined him saying the kind words he said to her and whispering love to someone else.
Imagining the bright sight of Cayden and his lover smiling, happy and affectionately kissing each other, Keirsey felt nauseated.
Instantly, the s*x education class came to her mind.
“…Wluagh!”
She started to vomit.
It was only now that she understood why the other young girls expressed disgust when they took the class.
When she imagined herself as a substitute with Cayden, she was thrilled, but when the woman changed into a different person, only nausea came up.
“...Wluagh!”
Tears began to form in her eyes from intense nausea.
Cayden scratched his head shyly.
“…Keirsey… No, it’s only natural… Is it really a matter to be so disgusted with?”
“Ah… no… Wluagh! It’s not like that, but why am I doing this too… Wluagh!”
Even while she was speaking, she kept getting nauseous.
And then she understood. As much as she took Cayden for granted, it was an act that had absolutely nothing to do with herself; it was impossible as a brother and sister from the beginning.
Keirsey’s eyes reflexively looked for Asena.
Whenever Keirsey was anxious, she first looked for Cayden. If Cayden wasn’t there, then only she looked for Asena.
And the moment she saw Asena, she understood it.
‘That’s why you tried to expel Oppa from the family.’
Why did Asena try to break the ties between siblings?
Keirsey only realized now after so much time had passed.
Also, she just found out that Asena had the same heart as her; the twins had the kind of feelings they shouldn’t have for their brother.
“Phew. No matter what you say…I won’t change my decision. I've already made up my mind so let’s end it here today. Were you just talking about the same thing to me a while ago? It would be a waste of time if I had to expand the story further.”
– Thup Thup
When Cayden pushed, the twins fell helplessly from his body.
“Right now, everyone is so angry. In time, it will be fine. Separation is always painful at first but as time goes by slowly, won't we be able to let each other go with a smile?”
“……Absolutely not.”
Asena bowed her head and muttered.
“…I will go now, Oppa. It is too late.”
“……This story isn’t over yet, Oppa. We’ll talk to you later.”
Asena assured. But Cayden just smiled.
And then, Cayden went, ‘Oh!’ suddenly. He thought of something and said it with a serious face.
“…..right. I mean, just in case...”
“……”
“Hey, guys. Don’t do anything silly… as I said I won’t change my mind. Let’s not get into trouble for nothing.”
Cayden couldn’t leave them alone without worrying until the end. He just hoped they wouldn’t become villains again.