No, to be precise, Ashaâs vision was turned upside down.
She couldnât handle her spinning head, so she closed her eyes tight, trying to block her thoughts.
Is this how it feels to have her head and intestines shake separately?
Sweet water pooled in her mouth at the pain she had experienced for the first time in her life.
Even the saliva that was still in her mouth was nauseating and painful, so she drank only water without a break.
ââŚ.Iâm dying!â
Tanatos, no, it was just 12 days after she left her old hometown, which now has a new country name, Libertas.
Her body, which seemed to be just a little weak, began to lose more and more strength, and for the past few days, if she did not lie down, she kept vomiting.
She really didnât even have the strength to lift her hand.
âWhatâs wrong with me?â
There was no strength in her body and she just slept helplessly all day long.
Even when she opened her eyes, her head was blank.
Even if she tried to eat something to cheer up, she couldnât take a bite without water, so the amount of food she ate was significantly reduced.
In consideration of her, the carriage was moving forward abnormally slowly.
Asha sighed heavily and pressed her forehead.
It was the first time this had happened, so she was just confused.
Even when she was dumped in a snowy mountain after all kinds of torture and taken to Amor by Tamon, she didnât feel like thisâŚ
ââŚ..itâs frustrating.â
Asha couldnât stand it because her insides were so hot and stuffy as if she had swallowed a fireball.
She lifted a water bottle to moisten her hot mouth, but the water bottle was already empty because she drank it several times.
Her irritability was intense for a moment, but even that, without energy, went away immediately. She didnât even have the strength to ask for more water, so Asha just leaned her forehead against the wall of the carriage.
Fortunately, after a while, she heard footsteps buzzing in her ears, and the carriage door opened. In this situation, only one person could open the carriage door without knocking.
âTamonâŚ..â
As soon as Tamon entered, the fresh air rushed into the carriage.
Perhaps because of her burning thirst, she longed for the cool air.
ââŚ.â
Asha leaned on Tamonâs cold hand on her forehead, and unknowingly rubbed her cheek like a fool in his palm.
Tamonâs eyes widened as he looked at Asha like that.
The fingertips, which were covered with calluses, carefully traced her slender cheeks.
Beyond his restrained desires, it was a touch with a deep concern for her.
âYou look so pale. Iâm afraid itâs an unreasonable scheduleâŚâ
âNo. Iâm really fine. Really.â
Asha thought she was stupid too, and she laughed.
She was well aware of her childish stubbornness. And also that Tamon couldnât break that stupid stubbornness.
She tapped Tamonâs forehead, which had been sunk by concern, then reached out her weak hand and grabbed the water bottle he was holding.
âThank you.â
Tamonâs eyes were not pretty as he looked at Ashaâs energyless smile.
[Iâm really fine. Donât do that. I want to be alone.]
Asha had been repeating the same thing to Tamon for a few days.
Each time, Tamon looked at her for a while, biting his lips, then backed away.
Even though he knew all about Ashaâs stubbornness that she didnât want to show her suffering, it must have been that she was enduring it.
While thankful for Tamonâs silent consideration, Asha turned her head away from his eyes and averted her eyes.
When she took a sip of the cold water he had brought, she felt a little refreshed as if water was poured on dry land.
Unwittingly thirsty, she gulped down half of the bucket of water.
A few streams of water ran down and wet the thin collar.
âYou must have been very thirsty.â
Tamon murmured in a dry voice as his eyes followed the stream of water running down the nape of Ashaâs neck. Asha took a deep breath and nodded her head.
âI think Iâll live a little.â
ââŚI wish you would let me stay by your side.â
She knew what Tamon was saying and nodded her head.
Asha smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.
Tamon, who sighed deeply once again, raised his fingers and swept Ashaâs wet cheeks and lips.
âYou spill everything like a child.â
The touch of his rough, hard fingertips was felt on her thin lips.
A suppressed desire lay on the fingertips that ran through it like it was crushed.
After stroking the inside of her wet lips, he lifted up her wet chin as if he couldnât stand it, and carefully clasped her lips.
He gently opened her wet lips, and stirred inside several times with the tip of his tongue.
Asha, unable to hold her breath, gently pushed Tamon away and whispered playfully.
âDrink water when you are thirsty. Donât try to take away what I drank.â
âThere is nothing sweeter than this.â
âSweet.â
At the end of Ashaâs lips, who smirked at the funny joke, Tamonâs lips touched again.
As if her lips alone werenât enough, he kissed her tightly against the nape of her neck and her clavicle bone, and he lifted her head and looked at her as if he had suddenly remembered something.
Red and purple eyes intertwined in front of her nose.
âI think there is another one.â
ââŚâŚwhat?â
âMore sweet than this.â
Tamonâs lips, which kept kissing her, rubbed Ashaâs wet neck.
âMore sweeter than this?â
While Asha was dazed at the thought of what it was, Tamonâs hand dug into her slender waist.
Ashaâs face, which had reacted reflexively to the moving hand down her gentle curves, suddenly turned bright red.
âTamonâŚ!â
Without realizing it, she grabbed hold of the hair of the thirsty beast.
Tamon, who raised his head because of that, smiled softly and licked Ashaâs earlobe.
âIâm glad youâre feeling a little better.â
âWhat the hell is going on in your head?â
âWhatâs in it? Itâs all about you.â
After responding skillfully, he grabbed Asha and put her on his lap.
âPlease donât be sick. My head is full of you, and Iâm going crazy because youâre sick. How much more crazy are you trying to make me?â
âWhen do I everâŚâŚâ
âYou donât know that just your breathing is driving me crazy.â
âLook at this. Are you going crazy just looking at me like that?â
At the sly tongue, Asha eventually laughed.
Shaking her head as if he was uncontrollable, she then laid her head down on his firm chest.
âIf you get sick again, donât hold back and tell me. We can stop the carriage and rest for a while.â
âOkay. Itâs not really that bad. I just donât have any strength.â
Asha knew Tamon set the schedule based on her well-being, so she pretended to be okay, but it wasnât like Tamon couldnât read Ashaâs expression.
âItâs a journey for you, so donât overthink it.â
His voice, which put her on his lap and stroked her head as if she was a baby, was endlessly sweet.
Has she ever been treated like this in her life?
Although it seemed that she had become a helpless child, her heart was overwhelmed by the generous kindness that seemed to accept any foolishness or grumbling.
âOkay, thanks. I will try.â
âGreat.â
As if he was very pleased with her reply of her trying, Tamon hugged her tightly and kissed her several times on her forehead.
The scent of the pine forest in front of the beach was coming from him, who was so close.
It was a scent that cleared her head and refreshed her stomach.
Unknowingly, Asha, who had her nose in his chest, quietly closed her eyes and murmured.
âBeing like this makes me feel like Iâm a baby.â
âYouâre too proud for a babyâŚâŚâŚ Try being a little more foolish, Asha.â
If it was Tamon, it was enough.
A different grunt tickled her throat.
As if responding to Tamonâs words, Asha rubbed her forehead against the hot nape of his neck and hugged his broad chest tightly.
Tamon also hugged her deeply.
***
âDid she fall asleep?â
At the sound of light breathing, Tamon slowly lowered his head and looked at Ashaâs sleeping face. He let out a heavy sigh as he scanned her sunken cheeks with bitter eyes.
ââŚâŚ Damn it.â
The swear words that he swallowed silently inwardly scratched his throat and pierced his heart.
Looking at Ashaâs thin face, a dark and gloomy emotion that was difficult to describe in words penetrated him like a bug.
He wanted to destroy everything that made her sick.
Even if it were himself, Tamon didnât want anything to bother Asha.
So, now he felt bad that his power of life disappeared.
If only he could get rid of her discomfort, if it was possible to draw all his blood and transfer it to her..
Tamon sighed as he slammed his fist against his hard forehead.
âWhy canât I get hurt instead?â
Why is the human body so inefficient?
It would be a much more beautiful and healthy society if healthy people could take the suffering of others with their own willâŚ
âOr you can transfer the pain to others.â
If he had that ability, he would have delivered all Ashaâs pain to Gillotti when he rescued her from the snow.
Tamon leaned his head against his carriage and looked out at the slow-moving landscape.
Contrary to the friendly hands holding Asha, the eyes looking at the distant snowy country were cold. The memory of the past flashed through the cold gaze.