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Chapter 126. A Twisted Doubt
The capital of Tanatos.
Bern.
“The flowers that will decorate the main hall will naturally be white mayplas, symbolizing Tanatos. And the flower garden in front of the castle gate will be turned over and made anew. I just can’t do it. Every time I see purple, it makes me upset. Let’s make it red again.”
At Natasha’s words, the face of Cecil, the new head maid, turned white.
She had already followed Natasha’s orders and overturned the entire flower garden in the castle.
Natasha told her to go and find purple flowers that were not even in season, but when she tried to decorate them, Natasha said that purple was bad luck and ordered her to make a new garden with red flowers.
But in doing so, not only do we not have enough time, it would also far exceed the proposed budget…..”
“Cecil.”
Natasha called Cecil in a gentle, kind voice.
She gently patted Cecil’s startled face.
“I know you can. Can’t you?”
The look in her eyes as she spoke softly, holding her large, swollen belly, was as compassionate as the honored saint in church.
But to Cecil, the hand that grazed her cheek felt as cold as a corpse.
Natasha stared at Cecil, who was too troubled to speak recklessly, and urged her to answer.
“Cecil, you have to answer.”
The lowered voice was as cold as the wind in the Kralturian Mountains.
Cecil cringed and lowered her eyes.
Of course, Cecil had no choice but to obey Natasha.
How were the maids who did not obey her be treated?
Cecil was afraid of Natasha.
“Yes, Lady Natasha.”
It was then that Natasha’s face smiled brightly like a usual spring flower.
“Okay. I’m going to go take a break. My body is too heavy to do much work in a day.”
Natasha’s known due date was still two months away, but her high, distended belly was no different from a soon-to-be mother.
Natasha walked cautiously, breathing slowly.
‘It’s okay, it’s still worth it.’
She gritted her teeth and reprimanded herself once more for her past, her mistakes.
It was a month and a half of not having relations with the Emperor,
and a baby came into the world that month.
And that month-plus time was also the time that Roxon* and her sleeping together.
(*I think Roxon is the emperor’s cousin if I’m not mistaken.)
‘….belatedly I discovered that Roxon left a strange mark.’
Natasha let out a deep sigh.
At first Natasha didn’t know that he was going to leave a mark under her buttocks without her even knowing it.
The emperor was a man who was used to receiving caresses rather than giving them.
No matter how much he played promiscuously with Natasha, he would never put his face between Natasha’s legs.
So if he had found someone else’s trace between her legs, it must have been evidence of foul play.
Roxon left more marks secretly many times after that, so it took more than a month for the marks to disappear.
It was a month and a half if she included the time the emperor was sick.
She didn’t think she would be pregnant so suddenly at that time, during so many periods.
She was so confused that her stomach filled up faster than expected.
Being pregnant for the third time, even if her belly had filled up a little earlier, it was too early to feel the movement.
She denied and tried her best to endure it, but her anxiety piled up like a mountain.
Unable to bear it, Natasha secretly found a midwife, who had received hundreds of children.
Natasha dressed like a servant and sneaked out of the castle.
‘Because it might not be true. I’m just checking, just to be sure. …Just to be sure.’
The midwife had a reputation for astonishingly guessing the due date of birth.
That was exactly what Natasha needed.
She needed to know when the baby would be born and how much time she had left to prepare for it.
Whatever the emperor heard from the imperial doctor, he wasn’t pleased.
“That’s strange. It’s not the time yet, so why……”
‘D*mn it, I don’t care what you think!’
Natasha circled the alley nervously.
This alley was one that Natasha knew well enough to walk around even with her eyes closed.
She carefully made her way to the appointed place, turning several times along the streets that an ordinary person would never be able to follow.
When she opened the old wooden door and entered, her heart pounded like it was going to burst.
“Welcome. I thought you wouldn’t come because you haven’t been here so long.”
An old woman greeted Natasha with a hood up over her head.
“You must be in a hurry. Come here and lie down.”
Perhaps reading Natasha’s impatience, the old woman quickly laid her down on the old bed.
Without taking off her hood, Natasha lay down on the bed and unbuttoned her clothes.
The old woman touched Natasha’s swollen stomach as it appeared, towering like a mountain.
Strangely enough, the quiet child flapped his feet in response to the old woman’s hand.
“Hmmm …… looking at the size of your belly, the baby will probably be out the first week of July. Seeing the baby kicking his feet, hopefully it will come out days earlier…. It looks like the mother ate well or the baby is pretty big.”
July is too early, but it can come out even earlier than that…….
The blood drained from Natasha’s face.
‘No, no. It’s too fast.’
What’s more, if the child was bigger, she couldn’t just play it off as a premature birth.
‘What should I do?’
The birth mother glanced at Natasha’s face hidden under the shadows and spoke.
“It looks like your baby shouldn’t be born too soon.”
Startled, Natasha did not say anything but glared at the old woman.
As if it was insignificant, the old woman mumbled in a monotonous voice as she patted Natasha’s belly.
“I have seen so many cases. The high nobles who have to hide their illegitimate children, a mother with foreign children, even a young noblewoman who became pregnant with a child she could not raise……”
‘What is this woman saying?’
Natasha narrowed her eyes and glanced at the birth mother with a skeptical look on her face.
The old woman, who had been chuckling, said in a sluggish voice.
“Most of the time two methods are used.”
“…… Two methods?”
“Would you like to know?”
Unable to resist her curiosity, Natasha eventually pressed the birth mother.
“Don’t delay, tell me quickly.”
The woman smiled, pressed her wrinkled lips as she looked at Natasha, who hurried her on.
Nearly a minute passed.
This was just before Natasha, who couldn’t stand the anger, was about to jump out of her seat.
“First, give birth to the child and pretend to be pregnant throughout the remainder of the time.”
Natasha held her breath and stared at the birth mother.
The old woman laughed as if nothing and continued with her next words.
“Secondly, secretly switch the child you gave birth to.”
“……!”
Startled, Natasha’s eyes widened.
The birth mother’s words bored into her ears like thorns.
“Oh, it is often the case that a child is born and then abandoned. They will say it died.”
The old woman spoke brutally with a benevolent face.
Natasha frowned at the last words.
She had never touched a child, though she chose any means and methods to achieve her ends.
This was because Natasha lacked many emotions, but the only one that was still in her was maternal love.
But sacrificing another child to protect her own child….
Natasha, bit her lips, glanced at the birth mother with a pale face.
The old woman was acting leisurely, as if she already knew Natasha’s mind.
“I need a child. And I don’t want this child to die.”
“Then……. It seems the first method is the most appropriate for you.”
Her chest throbbed.
‘First I have the child, then pretend to be pregnant all the time…….’
How can she do that without being discovered?
The Emperor looked for her every day.
Sometimes he even put his hand on her belly to feel the fetal movement, as if her belly was strange.
‘But he might only think it’s strange if the child was born too soon. He might not feel bad…’
The other day, after a meeting about the July Festival, Natasha had a brief discussion with the Prime Minister.
It was just a mundane discussion about the proposed budget and the date and time, but Gillotti kept looking at her.
Looking back, Natasha shrank as she met his gaze.
It wasn’t just a look. His gaze was sharp and closely observing as if something was wrong.
“You seemed very friendly to the Prime Minister. Did you two get close while I was sick?”
“It couldn’t have been, Your Majesty. I was just curious about the budget proposal and asked to be clear.”
“…… Is that right?”
For the first time, Natasha forced herself to smile at Gillotti.
She tried hard not to notice that her palms were soaking wet.
Natasha took a slow deep breath, keeping her eyes downcast.
Then she pulled her hood up even deeper and said to the birth mother in a low voice.
“I’ll call you if I need you, so wait.”
“…… any time.”
The old woman bowed her head more deeply to see her off.
Natasha fumbled out of the dark alley, to see if anyone was watching.
****
“Outing……?”
“Yes. She went out so secretly without an escort.”
Gillotti  frowned at the words of the black masked man.
He sank deeper into the large chair and pressed his forehead tightly.
‘Is it true what he says?’
The other day, he met Prophet Hartz walking in the East Back Garden.
“Your Majesty has made my life very easy. Thank you very much.”
His arrogance and leisure attitude made Gillotti angry.
However, Gillotti had his own thoughts, so he held back for that moment.
If Marquis Helio couldn’t retrieve the holy relic, he was going to make the Marquis and the prophet pay at the same time.
Of course, it would have been nice to have the holy relic, but it wasn’t a loss for Gillotti if he didn’t have it.
“The grace Your Majesty has given me is so great, I feel like I should pay something back.”
“Are you going to make another stupid prophecy.”
“I just saw a few fragments of the future. It’s for this imperial celebration that’s coming up soon.”
When Gillotti heard the words “imperial celebration,” at first he thought of the upcoming July Festival.
But when Hartz said the following words with a meaningful laugh, Gillotti realized that he was referring to the birth of his child.
“She’s hiding a huge secret in the mist. I don’t think Your Majesty should trust her too much.”
“She?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. The only person you trust the most……. It’s that person.”
Natasha….!
Gillotti’s heart sank.