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Episode 133: What We Were (II)
* * *
“How is the state of the Crown Prince?”
“The bleeding was very bad, but he will get well soon. The Crown Prince is in good health and is usually resilient.”
“Okay
”
I looked at Rixus, who was lying on the bed.
After a time of stormy waves of emotion and tears, he was still peacefully asleep.
With a bandage wrapped around his chest.
It was a wound I made.
Just by looking at him, he seemed terribly ill.
The crown prince became like this, but none of the servants made a fuss. Rather, they kept their mouths shut.
Even knowing that he was stabbed by an ice thorn, the doctor didn’t even ask me why.
Perhaps it was because Rixus had ordered so in advance.
I could roughly estimate what kind of crown prince he was in the Imperial Palace and what kind of position he had.
Because I gave similar instructions to my people.
The doctor, who was paying attention, asked me carefully.
“Your Majesty, do you plan to watch until His Highness wakes up?”
“No.”
I replied softly and stood up.
“Take care of the Crown Prince. When he wakes up, let me know first.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
For some reason, I couldn’t walk well; I struggled to get out of his bedroom.
My mind was in a very complicated state due to confusion.
I recalled the Rixus from before.
‘He did not dodge my attack, nor did he defend against it.’
He wasn’t even surprised to see the blue roses. Rather, he hugged me.
‘
He knows everything about our past.’
Unfamiliar excitement and confusion filled my chest.
I didn’t know how that was possible, but anyway, he knew the past and even apologized to me.
He also wept, speaking with a voice that was as if the world had collapsed.
Rather than kill, it was an apology?
It was true that I felt that desperate sincerity
 But it didn’t feel real at all.
Just like a dream I had for a while.
The anomaly that he knew all the facts, and how ‘Berylia’’s emotions were so contagious that I even shed tears as well

I couldn’t believe it at all.
‘Why doesn’t it seem real?’
‘So many, too many things have changed. I think that’s why.’
He had just apologized to me, but to me, I could only see the sword that pierced my chest relentlessly.
Even though my head recognized that there was a time that I had forgotten in the middle

It was very difficult to fill the gap between the appearances of those two ‘Rixus’.
Furthermore—
“
How were we?”
“We loved each other like our lives.”
‘Such nonsense!’
I stopped walking.
I just blushed without knowing what I was feeling.
“Really, that’s absurd.”
Was I in love with ‘Rixus Aktoum’? Also, passionately?
‘Anyway, it’s something that needs to be checked.’
‘If I don’t go crazy, I can’t do that.’
Come to think of it, I never had any contact with him in this seventh life.
But even as I was thinking about it, Rixus’ face came to mind.
“
Sorry.”
“
.
”
“I’m so sorry, I gave you a hard time.”
My heart throbbed, and it squeezed again.
“Ha.”
What the hell happened in my forgotten memories

I exhaled, contemplating the confused voice and emotions contrary to my memories.
Then, I opened the bedroom door and went inside.
“Your Majesty! You’re here!”
Three maids greeted me as soon as they saw me.
I hadn’t told them yet that I had lost my memory. Maybe that was why. I would have been treated the same as before. They seemed very friendly.
Like people who really love me.
‘That’s interesting. Why aren’t they afraid of me?’
Although such familiarity was a little burdensome, I thought that I, in my 8th life, must have loved them quite a bit.
That kindness and friendliness must have been very precious to me

“I have something to tell you first.”
“Maybe, a baby?”
“!”
Seryl, alone, had a flushed face, twirling her pink cotton candy hair.
“
No, it’s not.”
“Ah, there are already ten pairs of baby socks I crocheted with Maribel! When will the baby come and wear them!”
‘
You have already knitted baby socks?!’
I heard I just got married
?
I was a little surprised to see their reactions as tantalizing as Koreans.
‘I must have looked sweet.’
Of course, I had to show kindness to the servants.
That way, the marriage would go smoothly.
I slowly explained to them that I had no recollection of my memory.
As they listened, Seryl burst into tears, Laura calmly asked questions, and Maribel groaned gloomily.
Their reactions were different, but their attitude was the same.
“Your Majesty, I will surely help you find your memories!”
“Trust us!”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to get your memories back.”
“Thank you.”
I looked at the three maids silently.
‘I don’t have any family, but
’
If I had sisters, it would probably feel like this.
They were like sisters.
Maybe, in my 8th life, I was less lonely.
There were places that I wanted to be happy at, and if there were women like sisters

And if

If my relationship with Rixus was exactly as he said.
“I don’t even remember my relationship with Rixus.”
I asked about Rixus. That was what I was most curious about.
Laura’s answer was great.
“You two were so in love that the empire shook.”
And the answer of the maid named Maribel was,
“The Crown Prince loves you so much
 It was the first time I had ever seen a person love another so much.”
Seryl squealed and said,
“This bedroom was also a gift from His Highness the Crown Prince. He said that it was carefully tailored to Your Majesty’s taste
”
“
Okay.”
When I heard it through their mouths, it felt strange.
After finally letting all the maids go, I sat down and looked at my room quietly.
Certainly, this room was exactly like my bedroom in Spinel.
It would be impossible to be able to tailor to my taste to this extent without having a deep interest in the other person.
I slowly patted the little tea table, the statue of a little cat, the neat frame of the bed, and the soft, fluffy quilt.
And when I finally opened the chest of drawers, I found a jewelry box wrapped in fine silk.
‘Let’s open it up with doubts.’
There were small notes.
‘What is this?’
I took one of the notes and opened it.
〈My spring bride. I thought this would suit you.〉
It was
 It was the handwriting of Rixus.
I guess he gave me a present. To me.
I fiddled with the note, then pulled out another one and opened it.
And I was a little surprised.
〈I couldn’t sleep all night.
I can’t sleep a wink without you now.
My bed is so wide and cold

I think I’m going to die because I miss your body scent.
Candy, I want to see you.〉
Even as I read the note, it felt like my heart was breaking.
Memories that I didn’t know and only Rixus knew were engraved there.
The moments he spoke of, the moments he loved.
‘I can’t believe I collected all these notes instead of throwing them away.’
The box was full of the small notes he sent me.
No one else’s handwriting was visible.
There was only one-way communication from Rixus’, but

I could tell.
Collecting these notes one by one could be proof of my heart.
“Maybe
 what Rixus said might be true.”
It was then, when I was whispering a little.
The doorkeeper announced the arrival of ‘OrlĂ©ans’.
I calmly closed the box and said,
“Tell him to come in.”
“Your Majesty.”
Duke Orléans came in and greeted me politely, and I pointed across from me.
“Duke OrlĂ©ans, welcome.”
He sat down and asked cautiously.
“Do you remember anything
?”
“Not at all, but I’m working on it.”
I lowered my eyelids and touched the jewelry box with my fingers.
“One by one, slowly.”
“You don’t have to rush.”
“No, I’m trying to get my memory back as soon as possible. Having a gap in my memories can be a weakness.”
“You are right.”
I slowly drank the tea brewed by the maids.
Then I asked him.
“What is my reputation among the Aktoum nobles?”
“Supporters, opponents, almost half and half. Still, there are more supporters.”
“Yes?”
It was surprising. I thought it would be full of enemies.
It looked like I had tried quite a bit in the past.
‘
But it is by no means a reassuring ratio.’
Even if they had an attitude of supporting me on the outside, it might not be so on the inside.
‘Now that I am officially an Aktoum, there will be some who are forced to bow down.’
“But I’m worried.”
“What?”
“You will soon be active in public, so the nobles could notice that you have lost your memory.”
“
That’s right.”
“There are a lot of ‘dirty interests’ towards Your Majesty.”
Losing my memory meant that I had become a good prey for them.
Maybe they would use this as an opportunity and try to trap me.
I could guess from my life in the Spinel Palace that this was a place where the nape of my neck was bitten by a little carelessness.
What more about the crown princess from an enemy country?
Duke Orléans cautiously advised.
“Are you going to cancel all the upcoming official schedules?”
“No. Duke, you should know. Hiding is not my way.”
“

.”
I quietly patted the chair and shook my head.
Then I widened my eyes and instructed.
“Bring a pen and a piece of paper with my seal. I will write a letter to the nobles.”
“
What is the content of the letter?”
The corners of my lips went up.
“The Queen of Spinel has lost her memory, so for the time being, she asks for a thoughtful understanding from the nobles.”
“!”
Yes, this was an opportunity. A chance to see the bare faces of the enemy nobles.
An opportunity to closely discern who was truly on my side and who was an enemy to defeat.
I decided to use this crisis as an opportunity.
‘I’ll show you my weakness, so show me your teeth.’
‘I will trample you to the floor.’
On the day when my memories are restored, Aktoum Imperial Palace would be cleaned up.
Duke Orléans smiled quietly as if he had quickly figured out what was inside of me.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Then he brought me a pen and paper, and I wrote to the major noble families as I said.
The fact that the monarch of Spinel had ‘amnesia’ spread widely and shocked the empire.
And after hearing the news, there was a person who was the first to worry and run over.
“Your Majesty, you have a guest.”
Who?
The first person to come to me was,,,
“Archduke Marquis wants to see you now.”

Oh, it was Johann.
“Let him in.”
After a while, the door opened and Johann entered.
A friendly gaze from his gentle eyes, and a strong jaw.
However, though his lips were neat, they were strangely colored.
I must have seen him many times in this lifetime, but this was the first time I ever saw his face (after the memory loss).
He knelt before me and deeply kissed the back of my hand.
Then he whispered in a low moan.
“Are you okay? Your Majesty.”
The black eyes that sent a gaze gleamed and shone.