As Soutarou and I arranged to meet at 13:30, I suppose I arrived slightly early. As expected, Soutarou isnāt here yet.
Weāll probably have a late lunch and go to karaoke or the game center after that. And, Iāll, perhaps, stay over.
I didnāt have any special feelings about staying over at Soutarouās house until now. However, Iām now filled with complicated feelings because Soutarou carries special feelings towards me. And Iām searching for a response to that. Iām searching for my feelings towards Soutarou.Translator: nakimushitl
Translator: nakimushitl
It will apparently snow a little from this evening onwards. The air has chilled, and is clear and serene.
Having forgotten my gloves, I can feel my fingertips reddening. Cold. I cover my mouth with a muffler.
āMakoo!ā
āAh, Soutarou. Hiya.ā
āHiya. Sorry to keep you waiting. It must have been cold.ā
The doggy Soutarou, with his mouth covered by the fur of a mod coat, runs here with aĀ step, step.
His dog ears pop up and the tip of his nose is red. Ahh, cute. It sure makes oneās heart squeeze. This, rather than calling it ālikeā, I think itās the feeling of being healed by the cuteness after seeing dogs or cats.
What exactly is ālikeā? Can some esteemed person teach me?
Translator: nakimushitl
āYeahā¦, wanna have something? Iām famished.ā
āAnywhere is fine by me. What do you want to eat, Mako?ā
Translator: nakimushitl
The angelic power of Soutarou who smiles gently is staggering, as always.
There are even some unknown glittering particles fluttering around him and wing-like things are on his back. As expected of a capturable character of an otome game. CG-like backgrounds are fully prepared.
Nonetheless, itās that, isnāt it? For such a hunk to like me, life is full of surprises, huh? Iām really grateful to receive good will from others and Iām reallyĀ felizĀ that such a lovely person likes me. However,Ā however, itās, impossible for me.
Be it Soutarou, Kaname or Prince, I like them equally. I canāt fathom the image of kissing Soutarou, much lessĀ ufun ahan[1] scenes, which are completely inconceivable. Though sharing a bed wonāt happen if weāre not dating⦠Eh, it wonāt, right? However, perhaps such developments may happen on impulse when it comes to high school students⦠Besides, Soutarou is relatively quick to act for things like that.
Rather, I never dated before so I aināt got any idea about things like the sequence, tacit consent, or the proper progression, yāknow?!
Somehow I contemplated too much that I feel like throwing up. I think Iām gonna be a vomit-ine, Subaru-nee-san.[2]Translator: nakimushitl
Translator: nakimushitl
ā⦠Somehow I suddenly lost my appetiteā¦ā
āEh, Mako, you look pale. Are you okay?ā
Whish, Soutarou comes peeking at my face.
Iād be kissing this face if we were to date, huh. His angelic powers are so strong that I may lose my sight.
āIām good. I contemplated a little too much and had something like a developmental fever.ā
Well, the cause of that developmental fever lays mainly withĀ you, Soutarou.
Though if I were to dig further towards the root, it lays with my love deviation value and indecisiveness.
Translator: nakimushitl
āLetās sit somewhere and rest. Can you walk, Mako?ā
āIām fine, really. Letās eat, then go for karaoke.ā
āBut, Makoā¦ā
Soutarou cries āKyun, kyunā while looking anxiously at me with upturned eyes.
This guy, how sly. It may be sly but heās attacking from the right angle.
āYa can just rest at my place if ya aināt feeling well. My houseās pretty close anyways.ā
āThatās right. Mako, rest if you arenāt feeling wellā¦ā
āNah, I said Iām fine⦠Iām, fi, ⦠ne?ā
I reflexively raise my head at the familiar voice and accent.
Behind Soutarou, is the person who should never appear together with Soutarou. The man languidly bending his back while taking the my-head-hurts pose is, Kaburagi Kazutoki, nicknamed Ichigo-chan.
Soutarou stills for a moment before slowly turning around. I can tell even from his back that heās releasing an unimaginable amount of coercive pressure. Is Soutarou angry? Is he?
Translator: nakimushitl
āHey, Makoto. ⦠And, Tsubaki.ā
ā⦠Itās been a while huh, Kaburagi.ā
Soutarouās voice has clearly lowered by half a tone.
Although heās smiling gently like when he met me, it canāt conceal the coercive pressure heās releasing. Soutarou does get like this at times, doesnāt he. Heās a child who clearly expresses his irritation, or rather dismay, when he gets intruded upon. Though fundamentally, heās a child with good social manners.
Not knowing which side I should support, I quietly avert my gaze.
āWhere are you two heading this Christmas day?ā
āIs that something I must tell you, Kaburagi?ā
āWell, itās something I want to know. I like Makoto too so I have a right to ask, right?ā
In a way, Iām kind of envious that he can convey his good will so naturally.
It embarrasses me, whoās been worrying irresolutely. I donāt really want to follow his example though.
Soutarouās clearly upset despite his smile. Heās releasing a pitch black aura while smiling sweetly. His irritation might have grown at not being able to find words to reply to Ichigo-chanās cut and dried statement.
Honestly, itās bothersome and scary to enter the fight of such a fierce dog and wolf. However, I canāt ignore it when the cause of the fight is me. I give a huge sigh and enter the space between them.Translator: nakimushitl
āIchigo-chan.ā
āWhat, Makoto.ā
āSorry for today. Soutarou and I have an arrangement to hang out today so itās about time we go. Iāll hang out with you next time, Ichigo-chan. Contact me.ā
I grab Soutarouās arm and tug.
āIt canāt be helped since you say so, Makoto. ⦠In exchangeā
After scratching his head with his right hand, Ichigo-chan grabs my arm with his left hand and pulls strongly.
āYou can kiss me. Face here, Makoto.ā
āOi, donāt mess around.ā
Ichigo-chanās right hand covers my cheek. His hand is cold. That hand caresses me, from cheek to neck, and to my shoulder.
The instance his palm touches the back of my head, I strike Ichigo-chanās shoulder in resistance. However, he doesnāt even flinch. Iām fundamentally a literature boy. Although I can play sports with no issues, Iām after all a weak male who didnāt join a club or do any special exercise.
Tug, he pulls my face close.Ā Ah, this is the pattern where Iām going to get kissed.Ā I strangely thought in a corner of my cool head. Honestly, I donāt have any special feelings about kisses so Iām thinking it doesnāt really matter if Ichigo-chan takes my first kiss. However, what pricks my heart is that Soutarou is watching. Although a mere kiss doesnāt bother me, Soutarou getting sad from seeing Ichigo-chan and I kiss makes me want to cry a little, just a little.
āMakoā¦!āTranslator: nakimushitl
See, Soutarouās voice sounds so tearful.
What if my position is switched with Soutarou here, and Iāve to watch Soutarou kiss someone else? I wonder how Iāll feel.
Soutarou hugging someone tightly, and placing a hand on her cheek. A smile like melting marshmallows, calling her name with a voice sweet like honey. And with an imbalanced pretty yet manly doggy-like smile that will cause one to lose their sight, he gives a faint kiss to someone other than me. If that happens.
What will I think, me?
Although I wonāt be extremely jealous of that person, I certainly wonāt feel good. Iāll feel like I was left behind and may be slightly sad.
I guard against Ichigo-chanās lips with my IC card case.
āAināt just a kiss okay? Or is it your first? Being emotionally attached to your first is just like a girl, sheesh.ā
I am a girl, I suppress my feelings of wanting to say that, and give a small sigh.
Translator: nakimushitl
āItās not like I have special emotional attachments for the first. But donāt start copulating in a place like this.ā
āItās a given to want to do it when ya see the face of someone ya like. Iām not like a certain tamed dog. I want to kiss the person I like anywhere, and do more if thereās a chance. I aināt got any intentions of being obediently bound as friends. Hurry up and like me, Makoto.ā
Itās his usual light and entreating complaint. However, did I see wrong? He seems a little sad.
I came to think this way because of what Subaru said.
āā⦠it takes a lot more courage than you think to tell someone your feelings. Just saying a single āLikeā is so embarrassing that it makes one want to cry.
I thought that everyone was saying light words with light feelings, that they were doing and saying such things as part of teasing me, but it wasnāt like that. It wasnāt. They were properly thinking to convey their feelings to me, bit by bit sharing the feelings born in their hearts with me.
They werenāt light words at all. They were incredibly heavy.
Translator: nakimushitl
ā⦠⦠Sorry, Iā
Sorry, I. What was I going to say after that?
Losing the words that were placed on my marginally opened lips, my lips tremble.
I donāt know. I donāt know, at all. 1 plus 1 doesnāt become 3. However, I must find a way for it to become 3. Unable to find an answer, I simply stared at the pure white paper.
ā⦠Makoto.ā
I raise my head at Ichigo-chanās voice. At this point, Ichigo-chanās face is already right before mine. I lose my wits from surprise but the one thing I understand is something soft and squishy touched my neck. Subsequently, as though he forgot just now, comes a pricking pain. Feels like he left a mark, huh.
āāāā¦?! Sheesh, you reallyā¦ā
āYou just have to slowly get used to it? The next will be on the lips.ā
āThatās not the problem! Gosh, it just got a little serious so the heck is up with this?ā
Translator: nakimushitl
The serious development flipped into a serial development thanks to Ichigo-chan who said unbelievable things nonchalantly.
At that moment, a shock strong enough that that serial turns to serious appears. Soutarou firmly grabs my arm, tugs it strongly and hides me behind him, then grabs Ichigo-chanās collar.
ā⦠What? Makoto aināt yours. YouāreĀ friends, right? Whatās with your oozing desire to monopolise.ā
Soutarou bites his lip fiercely as though he wants to bite it off. Then, with a wrinkle between his brows, he glares at Ichigo-chan with a murderous glint in his eye.
āVexed? Hurry and get on the same arena as us then. Ya the biggest coward for clinging onto the position of a friend for so long.ā
Translator: nakimushitl
āI know something like that without you telling me. I like Makoto enough that Iād use such cowardly methods to stay closest to him. This feeling doesnāt lose to even yours. By far.ā
āHm, ⦠reallyā¦ā
Why am I being confessed to so naturally here?!
I didnāt think Iāll be pressed to make a decision at this point in December. Even though it was yesterday that I made a loose decision āIāll experience love too tehepero~ā, I didnāt think Iāll be dragged onto the arena of love in just a day.
āDat face your real one? Aināt angelic at all. Where did the sparkles behind ya go? Aināt ya too anxious when it seems like Makotoās gonna get taken?ā
āHaha, taken? What a joke. If Makotoās mine, it doesnāt matter who it is or where they come from, Iāll definitely not let go. Iāll even work myself to death to have Makoto like me. Thatās why itās impossible for Makoto to be someone elseās. Not if I obtain him.ā
Eh� May I ask where my sly doggy with an angel attribute went?
The me whose head turned completely blank, simply stood still behind Soutarou.
[1] Alluding to R18 scenes.
[2]Ā ć²ćć¤ć³ (Geroin), a female character with a vomit scene.
[3] A joke to lighten the mood? Like a security guard stopping a fan.