âââ Daiya Oomine - 09/11 FRI 23:40 âââ
\nI am losing my mind.
\nThe pictures on-screen tear away all conscious thought and take me back in time, forcing me to remember my former self. My thoughts return to my old patterns. I lose my sense of time and place. Am I seated? On-screen? In the past? I don't even care.
\nOn-screen, I'm a middle school student holding his head in his hands.
\nHe's silent, but I remember what was running through my head at the time. Now that I've traveled back in time, I'm repeating the same thoughts as well.
\nâWhat was I supposed to do?
\nâWhat was I supposed to do?
\nâWhat was I supposed to do?
\nI may have reached my absolute limit, but I will not lose track of my mission. I will stay tenaciously aware of my goal, so that I respond automaticallyâno matter how disarrayed my feelings are.
\nKazuki Hoshino is coming here.
\nI'm going to defeat him and release Aya from his claws.
\nThen we will change the world.
\n \nAnd just then, the entryway opens.
\n \nMy eyes regain their focus and fix upon a single point.
\n"It feels like it's been a long time."
\nKazuki Hoshino is standing there.
\nI stand up as I fight off the listlessness of the 'Cinema'. Under normal circumstances, I would probably have trouble standing up. I touch my piercing to reassure myself and turn toward Kazu.
\n"Yes, I also feel that way," Kazu replies with a bland smile.
\nHe is holding a plain plastic case. What else has he prepared? I decide not to waste any time mulling it over, since he already possesses the ultimate weapon, capable of destroying 'boxes'.
\nI can't help but wonder about the condition of his powerful, red right hand.
\n"Kazu, what happened to your hand?"
\nHis right hand is bandaged. Blood is still seeping into the bandage.
\n"...It's a symbol," he explains briefly and then shuts his mouth.
\n"He cut his hand with a knife all of a sudden. It's going to leave a scar...Frankly, I have no idea why Hoshii did that..." Haruaki adds in Kazu's stead.
\nI deliberately avoid responding to him and shift my gaze.
\nI seeâKokone Kirino.
\nâCreak.
\nIt comes as no surprise that my heart aches, almost breaks, when I see her. My heart has already suffered serious damage just from seeing the fake puppet of Kiri sitting beside me, so my reaction to the real Kiri is unsurprising.
\nHowever, my feelings don't matter.
\n"So what are you planning on doing now, Kazu? You can't win anymore, and you know that. Aya Otonashi has become my [servant]," I say, making the assumption that Yanagi has kept him up to date.
\nKazu answers without moving a muscle, "That pale face of yours really gives the lie to your claims, Daiya."
\nIt may sound like an attempt at provocation, but in reality, it's just an expression of pity.
\nKazu takes a step forward.
\nWe are facing each other.
\n
Ahâ
\nThere's no doubt about it.
\nThe battle we started in the 'Game of Idleness' will end here.
\n
"Okay, let's clarify our positions, shall we?"
\nKazu looks silently at me.
\n"First, I'm going to destroy the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema', and then I'm going to have Aya use her 'Flawed Bliss' and forget about you."
\nI will first use his power to destroy Kiri's 'box', and then I will use the 'Flawed Bliss' on Kiri.
\n"What are you going to do, Kazu?"
\n"I'm going to crush your 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', either by force or by waiting until the day is over. And I'm also going to destroy the copy you gave Maria," he announces, causing Aya to raise an eyebrow. "And finally, I'm going to take back Maria."
\nAya replies with a straight face: "That's pointless. No matter what, I won't return to you."
\nKazu bites his lip for a split second, but the glare he's directing at me doesn't weaken at all.
\n"Iâ," he bites his dripping bandage. "I won't retreat."
\nI'm slightly alarmed by his abnormal behavior. However, before I can respond, something unexpected happens.
\n"Kazuki-san!" Yanagi shouts as she jumps to her feet and rushes toward Kazu. While hurriedly climbing over the seats that separate them, she continues: "Destroy my 'Shadow'!"
\nEven though Kazu must have been surprised, he reacts with terrifyingly minimal hesitation and holds out his bandaged right hand toward Yanagi.
\nHe thrusts it into her chest.
\n"Mm...ah...AH!" she groans as his right hand dives into her chest.
\nKazu pulls out his hand. He's holding a painful-looking, palm-sized black 'box' shaped like a spiky chestnut.
\n"Ahhh..." Yanagi passes out and slumps to the ground.
\nKazu looks down at her.
\nHis series of movements seems almost roboticâprogrammed in advance.
\nThere is a short silence.
\nAt last, I realize what Yanagi was trying to accomplish. She must have wanted to have her 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' destroyed so I could no longer [order] her around. She acted swiftly in order to maximize Kazu's advantage.
\nI couldn't possibly predict her actions; Yanagi wasn't supposed to know about Kazu's new power. She must have eavesdropped on my conversation with 'O' and concealed her knowledge until now.
\nSure, she beat me to the punch, but I wasn't planning on using her anyway. What she did has no influence on my strategy.
\nHowever, after seeing that, I have broken out into a faint cold sweat.
\n"The power to crush 'boxes'..."
\nAfter witnessing such an unfairly powerful abilityâŚ
\nThere's a huge difference between hearing about it and actually witnessing it. It's as if he were shoving a machine gun in my face with his finger on the trigger.
\nOne false move and my 'box' will be destroyed.
\nBut his astonishing lack of hesitation, and the indifferent attitude he displays after using his power make me realize once again: he's no longer the friend I used to know. The absurd wound he has inflicted on himself proves that he's been vastly changed, that he's been reborn.
\nAs a being that destroys 'boxes'.
\nAs a being that opposes 'O'.
\nAnd that's the very reason he can smile the same way 'O' does.
\nHowever, even though he didn't move a muscle when he used his power, his face contorts after a certain girl speaks.
\n"What's with that power?"
\nAya's horrified words.
\n"Kazuki Hoshino, why do you have such a....? No, it doesn't matter. Witnessing that has convinced me," she continues bitterly. "You are an enemy."
\nKazu bites his lip.
\nIt must hurt to be called an enemy by the very person he is trying to save.
\n"Aya, I shouldn't have to say this, but keep away from him. He would destroy your 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' without batting an eye."
\n"...You're right. It seems like he'd just have to touch my chest. The 'Flawed Bliss' is also in danger."
\n"No, Kazu won't destroy the 'Flawed Bliss'. He should be aware that doing so would completely and utterly wreck your personality." The look on his face proves me right. "Of course, I'll keep away from him as well."
\nHaving made that clear, I have to proceed to the next step of my plan without making a single mistake.
\n"Kazu, I demand that you destroy Kiri's 'box'."
\n"Daiya..." Kokone mutters.
\nI continue my order before any of my feelings can escape: "You know what happens if you refuse to obey, right? I repeat: Aya Otonashi is a [servant]. I can make her do whatever I want. Kazu, don't you dare try to play any tricks. I'll also set a time limit. It's twenty to twelve right now; you have until a quarter to twelve to destroy Kiri's 'box'!"
\n"......"
\nKazu remains silent.
\nHis only option is to find or create an opening in my defenses to destroy the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
\nThat's why he brought Kokone and Haruaki with him.
\nWhile he is trying to create an opening, I am trying to do whatever it takes to counter him. That's what this fight is about.
\nHis attack begins.
\n"Daiyan, let's stop all this. I can't stand to watch any more."
\nAs I expected, the attack begins with an attempt at persuasion from Haruaki.
\n"What are you doing this for? Who's going to gain anything from it? You? Kiri? That's bullsh*tâjust look at yourself! You're just going to ruin yourself and Kiri if you go on like this!"
\nBut even though I expected this, even though I was prepared for this, I'm still affected; these words come from the bottom of Haruaki's heart.
\n"Please stop it! For Kiri's sake as well!"
\nI don't respond.
\n"Please...please..." he cries, begging me from the bottom of his heart.
\nOnce again I think...
\nHaruaki is so radiant that I feel as if I'll never match him.
\nHe was the first person I'd ever looked up to. Not just for his baseball skillsâbut also his straightforward, truthful, and resolute natureâthe qualities that drive him to choose what he thinks is right, even at the cost of his boundless potential for baseball or the girl he loves. Haruaki has always possessed qualities that I can't even dream of attaining.
\nThat's why I couldn't stand to make him a [servant].
\nHey, Haruaki...I have more respect for you than you might believe.
\n"Say something, Daiyan!"
\nBut still.
\nI cannot withdraw this 'wish'.
\n"Someone has to take action." I speak without hesitation. "Who is at fault for what happened to Kiri? Me? Kiri herself? Rino? Yeah, we all were, but the fundamental problem lies elsewhere. Therefore, I'm going to make a fundamental change to the world. That's my path."
\nHaruaki falters before countering: "That's ridiculous. Even with a 'box', you can't succeed!"
\n"Whether I can or not, I'll just do it."
\n"Why would you have to do that, Daiyan? Why do you have to suffer even more?"
\n"I have decided to sacrifice myself."
\n"And what about my feelings?! I don't want to see you and Kiri plunge into disaster! So you're going to sacrifice these feelings as well, Daiyan?!"
\nI answer without missing a beat.
\n"Yes."
\nHaruaki snaps his eyes wide open.
\n"That is what sacrificing myself means."
\nI leave him at a loss for words.
\nRight, that's the meaning of sacrificing myself. I'm perfectly aware of that.
\nI also have to sacrifice the feelings others have for me.
\nThat's why I severed my bonds with themâwith Kokone and Haruaki.
\n"You can't be serious...," he says, clenching his trembling fists. "You can't be fucking serious...Daiyan..."
\nIt seems like Haruaki's attack ends here.
\nI turn my gaze away from him and scowl at Kazu.
\n"Kazu, hurry up. Hurry up and crush the 'Cinema'."
\nI inconspicuously wipe away the cold sweat from my forehead.
\nEven though I may seem cool and collected, I have sustained damage.
\nThe 'Shadows of Sin' inside me are about to begin raging because of Haruaki's honest plea. They are about to burst through their limits and rip my body open.
\nI'm at my mental limit. A single word could tip me over the edge and end it all right now.
\nThrowing it all awayâwhat a comfortable thought.
\nBut Iâ
\nI look at Aya Otonashi.
\nBut I am going to die together with all these sins.
\n \nI fiercely press my throbbing chest.
\nI have to prepare myselfâ
\nThe next attack is starting. He'll get me if I let my guard down for just a second.
\nâFor the main attack.
\n \n"Daiya, thank you for your message."
\nKokone Kirino.
\nKiri walks toward me.
\n"It was bait in the trap to lure you here. You completely fell for it," I squeeze out as I tightly grip my chest.
\n"I knew it was a trap."
\n"I guess so."
\nAnd yet she came anyway because of her unparalleled feelings for me.
\nStep by step, she draws closer.
\nWith every step she takes, memories of our past flash across my mind.
\n
Age 4âI make her cry in kindergarten while quarreling over some candy; I begin to cry myself when the teacher scolds me.
\nAge 7âI save Kiri from drowning in the sea by helping her her cling to a swim ring[2]; I comfort her while she cries.
\nAge 9âI find her crouching by the side of the road during a festival, crying into her yukata because she had gotten lost, and I take her by the hand and lead her home.
\nAge 11âIn order to avoid being teased by our classmates, I say horrible things to her and make her cry; afterwards I go over to her place and apologize.
\nAge 12âKiri starts skipping school when I tell her that I've been accepted by a renowned private middle school; she starts crying in relief when I tell her that I won't be enrolling there.
\nAge 14âWe kiss for the first time. She breaks out in tears right afterward, and because I don't know what else to do, I just keep stroking her head until she stops crying.
\n
For some reason, she was crying in each of those memories. The strongest images I have of her must be those of her depending on me.
\nAah, but this really hurts.
\nEach of those memories turns into an attack that tries to chain me to a normal life. Each of them loads additional weight upon my shoulders.
\nAs I'm being tormented, Kokone Kirino walks up to me and stops before the seat next to mine, right in front of the shell of herself that the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' created.
\nI can see her face in duplicate.
\nThe real Kiri tilts her head up slightly and looks into my eyes.
\n"Daiya, let me reply to your message."
\nSheâ
\n"I love you too."
\nâembraces me.
\n"Wha...!"
\nShe shouldn't be able to do that.
\nShe should no longer be able to take me into her arms.
\nIf she does, she will remember the horrors from her past, be reminded of the wounds on her back, and eventually give in to the urge to vomit.
\nYet Kiri is still embracing me.
\nHas she...has she overcome her trauma on her own?
\nHowever, Kiri rules that right out: "You know, Daiya, I haven't overcome anything. I'm still a wreck inside and I don't know what to do about it."
\nThenâhow can she be embracing me?
\n"But I realized something," Kiri says. "You mean everything to me."
\nKiri is shaking. Like she said, she hasn't overcome her past; it's only by tolerating the anguish that assaults her that she can hold me tight.
\nThat's the only way she can embrace me.
\n"I love you! I love you! ...I...love you!"
\nYeah, I think, the closer we are, the more we hurt each other.
\nBut what if we could overcome our past somehow, what if we kept believing in each other?
\nThat would beâthe one thing I have desired above all else.
\n"Gh..."
\nAnother memory crosses my mind, a memory of the day I decided to change the world.
\n"You're cold."
\nLit by the evening sun, floating on a cold, red river, Kiri rejected me. I was helpless, unable to even embrace her and condemned to feel our bodies grow colder and colder.
\nBut if I can embrace her like thisâŚ
\nIf I can finally, belatedly, warm her up nowâŚ
\n"U..gh..."
\nKokone.
\nI want to be released from this burden, too!
\nIs it really okay if I'm just being myself? I would do anything for you, Kokone. I would spare no effort to make you happy.
\nKokone continues.
\n"I would do anything for you, Daiya!"
\n
I finally come to my senses.
\n
I grab her shoulders and push her away.
\n"Daiya...?"
\nKiri would do anything for me?
\nI would do anything for Kiri?
\nBoth statements are true.
\nAnd that's what's fatally wrong about them.
\nThey aren't healthyâthey're abnormal.
\nWe weren't always like this; we used to be a normal couple; each of us a completely normal lover who wouldn't sacrifice himself or herself or act only for the sake of the other person.
\nOur transformation is the very proof that we haven't been able to lead a normal life.
\nWe keep wrecking each other by sacrificing ourselves for each other. That's our reality. It's even more true if she claims that I mean everything to her.
\nRight, we can't return, after all.
\nWe can't return to the time when our relationship was pure.
\n
âDo you have a wish?
\n
I do.
\nI do have a wish.
\nI want to smash this godforsaken world that has tainted all of our memories.
\nThat day, surrounded by red, red water, I swore:
\n"I will change this world."
\nI won't abandon my new self.
\nI won't remove these piercings.
\nInstead, I will discard these feelings, these memories, these recollections.
\n"Kiri," I say loud and clear, "learn to live in a world without me."
\nThat's my answer.
\nTears start to stream from her eyes.
\nI avert my gaze from her and scowl at Kazu.
\nâI made it through this attack. He has exhausted his ammunition.
\nI look at my watch. It's 23:44.
\n"It's time. Crush Kiri's 'Cinema'. You know what will happen to Aya Otonashi if you don't."
\n"It's such a shame," Kazu whispers. "It's such a shame that things have to end this way."
\nKazu also starts to cry and falls to his knees.
\n"Uh...gh..."
\nKiri realizes that it's impossible to change my mind. She walks away from me, staggering toward the screen.
\nKazu stands up and heads in that direction as well.
\nMy gaze automatically jumps to the screen.
\n \n"I would give everything for Daiya's happiness," the Kiri onscreen says with a blank look. "Should I keep you from becoming happy, I'll make it easier for you to throw me away, okay?"
\n \n"Daiya."
\nThe real Kiri speaks up.
\nShe is standing near the middle of the screen, blocking out the projected image.
\n"You plan to plunge into ruin, right?"
\n"I guess so, that will be my final ending," I casually reply.
\n"Do you think I'll let you?"
\n"Why would I need yourâ"
\n
"I won't!"
\n
With those wordsâ
\nKiri thrusts a knife into her stomach.
\n \nBlood squirts onto the screen.
\n"Huh?" I whisper like a dope.
\nI'm embarrassed to say that I'm at a complete loss; I can only watch as her blood slowly spreads across the screen.
\nI'm embarrassed to say that I'm at a complete loss; I can only watch as her blood slowly spreads across the screen.
\nKazu acts without hesitation. He rushes to Kiri.
\nI naturally assume he's trying to save her, but he surprises meâ
\n"It's a real shame, Daiya, that you're leaving me no other choice!"
\nâHe ran to Kiri in order to block me.
\n"I did what you told me to do. This will also destroy the 'Cinema', won't it?"
\nHe just stands there in the pool of blood that Kiri is shedding without moving a finger to help her.
\n"What the...what the hell are you talking about?"
\n"Well then, Daiya," Kazu says, ignoring my comments. He violently swipes at the tears on his face and glares at me. "If you try to approach Kokone, I will crush your 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'."
\nHe places his plastic case on the ground.
\n"There are medical supplies in here. Kokone won't die immediately, but if she remains untreated for more than ten minutes, she'll be beyond help. If you use the contents of this case and staunch the flow of blood from her wound, odds are that she will survive. I instructed Kokone precisely where to stab herself. If you come to her rescue, she will survive, but if you just stand there, she will die. She won't make it to midnight, so the 'Cinema' will be destroyed before then and you'll have your escape route. Once you've escaped the 'Cinema', you could certainly find someone to use Maria's 'Flawed Bliss' on. But Kokone will be dead."
\nKazuki Hoshino speaks in front of the blood-stained screen.
\n"If you want to save her, come here and let me crush your 'box'."
\nI'm sure he isn't aware of this.
\nBut Kazuki Hoshino, the being that destroys 'boxes', is smiling in a charming fashion just like 'O'.
\n"To be honest, I have doubts," he says in a dispassionate manner. "You claim that you have chosen a better world over Kokone, but is that really true?"
\nHe continues as he gazes at the bloody bandage on his right hand:
\n"Here's your chance to prove it!"
\n"ââ"
\nI am speechless.
\nI understand what he's getting at, but I don't understand him. I'm hopelessly confused.
\nI was wrong.
\nI thought that Kazu was abnormal, and I expected his abnormality to have worsened.
\nBut I completely underestimated it.
\nIt's just as Aya said; as long as he has a goal, he will not give up. He even resorts to tactics that no person in his right mind could come up with.
\nIn pursuit of his goal, Kazu can even blank out his own will and act automatically like a machine.
\nIn a sense, that's what I've been aiming for. The ideal way to exist as a being that grants 'wishes'.
\nHowever, I think as I regard his smile, while I do want to emulate Aya Otonashi, I definitely don't want to become like Kazu.
\nEveryone has stopped speaking. All I can hear is the movie, which heartlessly continues to play, and Kokone's groans.
\nHaruaki is the first to break the silence. "Hoshii...I don't know about any of this! You didn't tell me you'd do this!"
\n"I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. Otherwise, you would have stopped me."
\n"You fucking bet! That's...that's crazy! I'm going to save Kiri, whether Daiyan moves or not!"
\n"I'm going to give her the coup de grace if you try to help her."
\n"What?!"
\n"I'm serious."
\nHe is. Otherwise, he wouldn't resort to such an insane method in the first place. The 'symbol' of his abnormality that he inflicted on his right hand proves that his words are 100% true.
\nHaruaki also realizes this and doesn't say anything else. His shoulders, however, are shaking and his eyes are wide open.
\nA question escapes my lips.
\n"Kazu, are you okay with letting her die?"
\n"That's a strange question," he replies. "Of course I'm not okay."
\nHis answer resembles that of a certain girl who has spent virtual lifetimes in order to replace someone.
\n"I would regret it for the rest of my life. I might not be able to bear the burden!"
\nBut they are different in a way.
\n"However, I did what I did while keeping that in mind."
\nUnlike Aya, Kazu hasn't made a choice.
\nMost likelyâhe can't even choose to act differently.
\nMaybe he's confused as to why he has taken such measures, but he can't act differently. This is the form his insanity has taken.
\n"Kazuki Hoshino...you are insane!" Aya bites her lip and pauses. "What you're doing doesn't even qualify as a proper method. Someone in his right mind wouldn't ever hit upon that idea. By doing this...by viciously taking advantage of Kirino's irrational weakness when it comes to Oomine, you completely destroy the everyday life you have been so eager to protect. You realize that, don't you? It's proof that you've become insane."
\nIndeed.
\n"You really aren't the Kazuki Hoshino I knew. What has become of you? Have you been possessed by a demon?"
\nKazu answers clearly but sorrowfully:
\n"I'm your knight."
\n"My, what?"
\n"I will come to your rescue even if the world itself opposes me. I will defeat and kill whoever stands in my way."
\n"I've never asked for that! And certainly not from a devil like you!"
\n"It doesn't matter what you say," he counters, leaving Aya speechless.
\nKazu looks at me.
\n"By the way, what are you waiting for?"
\nIt's easy for him to say that!
\n"You can't decide, can you?" he says and completely takes me by surprise with his next words. "Well, that's fine too."
\n"Hah?" I can't hide my surprise. "That's fine, you say? You can't be serious? Are you cool with her dying in the face of my indecision? Your plan is only successful if I go save her, right?"
\n"Daiya. I'm sure you know who I am doing this for, right?" he asks in response, ignoring my question.
\nI know perfectly well: it's all for Aya's sake.
\n"Maria is now in possession of the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', and she's going to work toward a slightly better world, right?"
\nKazu holds his right hand before his face and closes it, as though he were confirming something.
\n"So I'll crush it. She doesn't need such a dumb 'box'."
\nFinally, I understand.
\n"Don't tell me..."
\nOne corner of his mouth curls up. "Looks like you finally understand. I said earlier that I have my doubts about your resolve, but I'm convinced I understand Maria's. I have spent a lifetime together with her. There's no way I could be wrong."
\nAya Otonashi has devoted her life to the happiness of others, and therefore, she can't tolerate sacrifices.
\nAnd right now, there is someone dying before her very eyes.
\nThenâ
\n"Aya will save Kiri whether I do anything or not."
\nI see, I thought he was targeting me with this trap.
\nBut he wasn't.
\nIt was a trap set for me and Aya at the same time.
\nAya bitterly admits: "Yeah, I'm going to save Kirino. I'll have to surrender to Hoshino's power."
\n"Aya...! Isn't this the 'box' you have been seeking all along?!"
\n"It is. I have spent more time than anyone else searching for this 'box'. Maybe my earnest desire would have finally been fulfilled. Maybe I will never come across such an opportunity again. I know...I know...but..." She clenches her fist. "But still!"
\nRight.
\nThat's Aya Otonashi's way of life.
\nKazu is shamelessly abusing her.
\nAya is going to save Kiri, and Kazu is going to destroy her 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'. Kiri will survive thanks to Aya's assistance. Piercing at Fifteen will end, activating the final effect of the 'Cinema' and destroying my 'box'.
\nOur 'wishes' are going to come to naught.
\nI do have a countermeasure.
\nAya Otonashi is my [servant]âI could [order] her to stay still.
\nBut,
\nBut,
\n"Daiya," Kazu says to me, "You can't possibly be thinking of using an [order] so that Kokone dies?"
\nExactly. It's just as he says.
\nBut haven't I come to the conclusion that he has to be stopped no matter what?
\nHaven't I decided that with utter conviction?
\nThenâam I going to use an [order] on Aya to let Kiri die? Am I going to kill Kiri?
\nWhat the...?
\nWhat the...?
\nWhat the FUCK?!
\n"Ah,gh..."
\nKiri throws up blood.
\nShe tilts her head toward me and whispers:
\n \n"Please..."
\n
"Even if I have to die,"
\n
"May Daiya find true happiness."
\n
Tears flow down her cheeks.
\nJust as they did in my memories where she depended on meâ
\n
"Kokone."
\nAll.
\nAll the movies have been played in the 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' flash through my head in a split second.
\nKokone Kirino. Haruaki Usui. Aya Otonashi. Miyuki Karino. Koudai Kamiuchi. Tragedies, tragedies that torment me. The images entangle me like a long piece of filmstrip and burn themselves painfully into my mind. Rejection, rejection, rejection, too much rejection for me to take. There is not the slightest hint of gentleness. My vision becomes mosaic-ed, colored, sepia-toned, mosaic-ed once again. The emotions behind those images infiltrate me, overwriting me, erasing me, leaving only Kokone Kirino behind. I wanted to smash the world into pieces because I only wanted you, I only wanted you, I only wanted you.
\nAh, and now the 'Shadows of Sin' will feast upon me. They will devour me. At last, they band together, capture me and start to consume me. There is no pain. Black blood gushes forth from the wounds that they rip open with their sharp claws, drowning the world. They devour my entire body, leaving nothing behind. I am a huge black swamp of blood. The swamp is incapable of thought.
\nSo it passively recalls its memories.
\nA frozen red world unfolds, trapped by the evening sun. A single girl stands in the midst of this desolate red world. Her back slowly shrinks as she walks into the cold red water. The sound of ripples. Turn around turn around turn around turn around I just want her to turn around. I reach out. I reach out and take her hand.
\nSay it.
\nâI will change the world for your sake.
\n \nTime is running out. But now, 0-hour on my countdown is when Kokone will die, instead of when the 'Cinema' will destroy my 'box'.
\nTime is running out.
\n"ââAah."
\nI intended to change the world. I intended to make people realize what guilt truly meant by mass-producing 'Dog Humans'. I intended to rid the world of mindless people. I was okay with destroying myself as long as someone succeeded me. I thought that Iroha Shindou might be able to do it. I was convinced that Aya Otonashi would be able to do it. I had decided to create a gentle and stable world where no tragedies would ever occur again, a world where no one had to share our fate. I was willing to pay any price, even my very soul.
\nA gentle world.
\nA just world.
\nYeah, it was a pure and honest wish; I strove harder than anyone else to make it come true.
\nHowever.
\nHowever.
\n
I just can't stand in front of this pool of blood and do nothing.
\n
âI know.
\nâI knew.
\n
right,
\nin reality,
\nall I ever wanted,
\nwhen I took your hand,
\nin that red world,
\nwas for you to turn around.
\n \nWhere am I?
\nIn a crimson theater. Right, a theater.
\nThat means a movie is playing.
\nI mirror the movements of the image on the screen.
\n"I"
\n"I"
\nI fall to my knees.
\nThe middle school boy falls to his knees.
\n"I didn't care about myself."
\n"I didn't care about myself."
\nI cover my tears with my hands.
\nThe middle school boy covers his tears with his hands.
\n"I only wanted you to be happy."
\n"I only wanted you to be happy."
\n \n"Kokone,"
\nAnd soâ
\n"I'll save you!"
\n
âI've lost.
\n
I open my eyes.
\nThey have been open all along, but I open my eyes.
\nAya is reaching for the medical supplies.
\nWithout missing a beat, Kazu thrusts his hand into her chest and takes out a 'box'. It's the copy of my 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' that I gave her.
\nHer copy is shaped like a perfect cube.
\nKazu crushes it.
\nAya continues to attend to Kokone without faltering.
\nI can no longer do anything.
\nI can't move. I can't even fight back the listlessness that the 'Cinema' is forcing upon me.
\nTherefore, I just stay on my knees as I watch the end of Piercing at Fifteen.
\nThe last scene takes place in the corridor of our middle school.
\nKokone looks at my right ear and sadly says:
\n"You went and got a piercing?"
\nMy onscreen self is now silver-haired. He replies:
\n"Yeah, because I hate piercings."
\n"Is that," she says while maintaining her sad expression, "a cry for help?"
\n
Someone's alarm starts to ring.
\n"It's midnight," Haruaki mutters.
\nThe moment he says that, the pitch black holeâthe abyssâleaps at me and penetrates my chest. The theater around us begins to get sucked into the hole, shrinking and distorting into a sphere.
\nI feel something as the absolute void engulfs me.
\nLoss.
\nAnd then I realize that I have just lost the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.
\nAt last, the theater has completely lost its shape and transforms into a red sphere, while the abyss grows and grows, engulfing more and more of me.
\nBut what awaits within is not darkness, but light.
\nLight.
\nWithin that sea of light, someone slaps me on the shoulder.
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