Volume 4, Part 10

For some reason, Kazuki Hoshino is the last thing I think of. \nI ask one last question. \n

Hey, if you had been the one here--- \n---would you have told me what my true 'wish' is? \nNote: Boku - Daiya uses a different word here for "I;" typically he uses "ore" which is much more rude than "boku." \n

Because it had rained the day before, Koudai Kamiuchi's funeral was held under humid and uncomfortable circumstances. \nIt was so hot and humid that even the attendees were visibly affected, and seemed more uncomfortable than mournful. They almost seemed to have forgotten that they were there to mourn for the deceased. \nThere were still many attendees who shed tears at the funeral. From my conversations with them, I got a sense of Kamiuchi-kun's popularity. I only knew his ruthless side, so I was surprised at first. After taking into account his outwardly friendly behavior, I felt a little less surprised. \nOne young woman, apparently his mother, cried so hard that every last tear in her body seemed to be coming out. \nSeeing her was heart-wrenching. \nSomewhere deep within my own heart, I wanted to ignore the mourners and ease my own suffering. I wanted to justify his death by telling myself he was a hopeless cause anyway. \nBut naturally, even a man like Kamiuchi-kun remained dear to some people. \nWhat Daiya and I had done was terrible, and I shared the responsibility for this terrible result as well. \nOf course. \nDaiya may have strangled him, but I also killed Koudai Kamiuchi. \nKamiuchi-kun's mother kept whispering that it was her fault, though she was clearly not the culprit who had strangled him. She seemed to be trying to curse herself to unhappiness through her frantic claims. \nIn his funerary portrait, Kamiuchi-kun had slightly narrowed eyes and the corners of his mouth were raised. Regardless, the smile in his photo just didn't seem like a true smile. \nStanding next to me, Maria saw the look on my face and asked, "...did you know him?" Without hesitation, I shook my head and answered, "not at all." Maria was very silent and mourned for him sincerely, though she’d barely ever spoken with him. When we went to a café afterwards, she didn't even finish her strawberry tart. \nI'm happy that Maria doesn't remember the 'Game of Idleness'. If she did, she would surely feel responsible for his death and blame herself. \n--- the 'Game of Idleness', huh. \nOne could almost think Kamiuchi-kun had mastered his 'box'. But that wasn't the case. Just like Mogi-san and Asami-san, who thought their 'wish' could never come true and hence couldn't truly fulfill their 'wish', he had also failed to truly master his 'box'. One might even say that his was the greatest failure. \nAfter all, the 'wish' behind the 'Game of Idleness' consisted of nothing but resignation. \nSo, I wonder, what was his true 'wish'? \nI've been pondering and pondering... but nothing comes to mind. \nI didn't get the chance to truly understand him, so I’ll never know. \nBut after seeing his funeral portrait, I came to a conclusion. \nProbably, Kamiuchi-kun was--- \nLonely. \n \n✵ \n \nThe day before summer vacation arrived with Daiya still MIA. \nThe new murder incident caused another school-wide uproar, but I guess that will cool down by the end of vacation. \nThis bad aftertaste will probably recur forever in my own mind. I’ve come to accept it; I gave my tacit approval to this outcome, after all. \nAnyway, summer vacation starts tomorrow. \n"......alright!" \nLet's shake off this melancholic mood! \nI ignore the unpleasant feeling of my sweaty skin sticking to my shirt, smile, and enter the classroom. \n"......Mh?" \nFor some reason Kokone is cowering in a corner. She's sitting there embracing her knees and squirms. \n...what is she doing there? \n"'Morning, Hoshii!" \n"Good morning, Haruaki. ...hey, do you know what's up with Kokone?" \n"Aah, that's Kiri's usual 'play with me'-illness, so just ignore her! But these annoying vibes you get from seeing her cling to herself in the corner of the room make her seem entirely like that certain black living thing!Let's call her Kirino Cockroane from now on!" \n"Who's a cockroach!?" \nAh, she heard everything. \nShe turns around and scowls at us. Her hairstyle of the day has been involves a hair clip, exposing the nape of her neck. And also--- \n"Ah, glasses." \nShe is wearing glasses with a blue frame. \nFor some reason, Kokone winces at this word and curls up again. \n"Usually I use disposable contacts... but I forgot to buy new ones. Hah... glasses don't suit me at all, so I feel so down..." \n"...and you're sitting in the corner because of that?" \n"Yeah. I don't want to show anyone my face. Uguu." \nI think doing that just makes her stand out even more, though. \nWell, judging from her expression she seems to be quite serious about not wanting to be seen wearing glasses. Personally, I think that from time to time a pair of glasses is fine too, but I guess that's just the way a woman's heart works? \n"Don't worry, they suit you!" \n"They don't! Have your eyes rotted?! If your vision’s gotten that bad, you should put on some glasses right now, Kazu-kun! Ah, or are your eyes blind with love for me?! Good grief, you little deredere[1] rascal!" \n"...no, not at all..." \n"How dare you say 'not at all,' you crossdresser! You'd better take an interest in me!" \nIsn't that a bit too cruel?! I mean, it’s her own fault that she’s so depressed in the first place... \n"Come on Hoshii, tell her what you’re actually thinking straight-out! Tell her that «Not only me, but the entire world population has no interest in you»!" \nHaruaki says such unnecessary things... \n"Mh! What did you just say, Haru!" \n"I stated that neither Hoshii nor anyone else has interest in you." \n"Ah, so it was just a roundabout confession." \n"......how in the world did you arrive at that kind of conclusion?” \n"You just wish it were like that, don't you? The translation of your Tsundere[2]-confession goes like this: «The oh-so popular Kokone-sama must be the center of attention of the entire world... I wish I was the only one that had an interest in her...». Well, it can't be helped. Because of your love, let me present you with a used oil-absorbent paper afterwards! Be sure to treasure it." \n"I'll burn that thing with a lighter right away! It’ll burn like crazy, after all. Jeez... your self-love sure knows no bounds. I bet even the sound of an opening door sounds like a confession to you, right, Kiri?" \n"Well, I can't say you're wrong. Since I'm loved by the entire world, it's not a lie to say that every sound in this world is an expression of love for me! ......Aah, but I'm not loved by the entire world while I’m wearing glasses... at most, I’ll only be loved throughout Japan..." \nThat's more than enough! \n"Uuh... why do I have to wear such ugly glasses on the day of Kasumi's visit...?" \n"Eh?" \nDid she just say something that I wasn’t supposed to overhear...? \n"Kasumi...? You mean Mogi-san? Is she coming to school today?" \nWhen I ask her this, Kokone makes a face that obviously says «Sh*t!» and immediately shuts up. She looks away and puts on a wry smile. \n"...Ahaah, I would never leak something Kasumi told me to keep quiet about! I wasn't told that «It's going to be a surprise, so please don't tell anyone, Koko-chan»! Err... Kasumi is... Ah, right! Kasumi no Tamoto---in other words it's about a hermit!" \nI've never heard of that word before... \n"Your vocabulary is quite extensive, isn't it, Kokone? ...by the way, what kind of hermit is that?" \n"E-err... a hermit that puts quail eggs on his hand and breaks them with a nunchaku." \nWhat's scary is that such a hermit could even exist... \n...anyway. Looks like I have to practice looking surprised. \nStill... I'm really happy that I'll see Mogi-san at school today. \n \n✵ \n \nEven after the closing ceremony there's still no sign of Mogi-san. \nMaybe she’ll come right at the end of school so we can hang out afterwards? \nWhile thinking about Mogi-san and idly watching my classmates – noisily jabbering about their plans for the holidays and their grades -- my name was called. \n"Kazuki-san." \nThe call came from Yuuri-san, who was peeking in from the corridor. \nWhen our eyes meet, she smiled broadly. Her cheeks are slightly red, probably because she rushed right over as soon as her homeroom ended. \n...I wonder what's up? \nAs I stand up, that question still floating around in my mind, someone put his hand on my shoulder. \n"...Mh? What's wrong, Haruaki? Umm, Yuuri-san is calling me, so I have to go..." \nHaruaki nods and smiles. \n"Mh mh, I see. You call her «Yuuri-san»." \n"...eh?" \n"You know... I know that you talk with her from time to time, but how should I put it? This is a critical point." \n"Aah... but, listen, Yuuri-san is---" \n"As the representative for all the guys in our class, let me state our consensus." \nThe hand on my shoulder grips me even more tightly. \n"Get bent." \nHe crushes my family jewels between my legs with his left hand. \n"GYAAAAH!" \nIt-It's going to be crushed! \nThough I haven't done anything bad! \nBut then I notice that the cold gazes of my classmates have softened a bit. \n...Honestly, I have mixed feelings about what just happened, but I am a little bit relieved. Since that confession incident with Kokone, this kind of topic is pretty dangerous for me. The rest of the class doesn't mind Maria because they recognize that she lives in another dimension, but Yuuri-san... isn’t so far out of reach. \nMaybe Haruaki did this on purpose to protect me from the envy and hatred of the guys in my class? ...Nahhh, probably not. I mean, it's Haruaki. And he didn't restrain himself. And it really hurts. And it's seriously cruel to do that! \nI stagger to the corridor while holding my crotch. \n"A-Are you alright?" \nYuuri-san worriedly looks back and forth between my face and my crotch. \n"M-Maybe... probably... surely... I should be alright... Err... I'm happy about your concern for my crotch, but what's up?" \nYuuri-san turns red like a tomato. \n"'C-Concern for your crotch'... don't say such strange things!" \nI didn't! \n"U-Umm... there's something I want to discuss with you. Can you accompany me for a moment?" \n"Mh... I don't mind, but can't we do it here?" \n"No." \nA serious subject, I guess.... \n"Okay. I'll come with you." \n"Thank you. Please follow me." \nShe starts to walk, but because my pain is still intense, I stagger after her. Yuuri-san notices my strange walk right away and stops. \n"A-Are you really alright?" \nSaying that, she bends down a little and looks at my crotch. No... I don't think you can do anything just by looking... \nThen, I notice. \n"HII!" \nMaria is right there. \nMaria probably headed to classroom 2-3 right after homeroom as well. \nAnd now Maria is, fixedly, watching Yuuri-san scrutinize my crotch. \nThen, she turns her half-opened eyes to me. \n...Oh. Maybe this is quite bad after all... \n"D-Don't get it wrong, Maria! Yuuri-san simply worried for me, so..." \n"Why are you trying to come up with a strange excuse? I know you well. Most likely you got attacked by Usui because he got jealous after seeing her come to your classroom, right?" \nShe hit the nail on the head perfectly, almost as if she witnessed it herself, so I nod repeatedly. \n"But, with that in mind, let me tell you this..." \nMaria says, \n"Get unmanned." \nWHY!? \n

Escaping from Maria's cold gaze, we walked to the stairway landing between the third floor and the rooftop. \nAfter confirming that we're alone, Yuuri-san bows deeply. \n"Thank you so much." \n"Err...?" \nWhat is she thanking me for? \nYuuri-san seems to have noticed my confusion and adds, \n"For helping to reconcile me and Iroha." \nAah... that. Well, yeah. \n \n✵ \n

[Kingdom Royale] ended abruptly, like a paper balloon trampled by an elephant. Right afterwards, I found myself in my pajamas on my bed. \nThe first thing I did was check the time and date. Even though we had spent so much time in the game, only a few hours had passed. \nWithout wallowing in my complex mix of feelings, I called Maria. I wanted to confirm as soon as possible that she really had no memory of the 'Game of Idleness'. \nI immediately realized that she didn't remember anything when she answered the phone with "What is it?" in an unusually deep voice. \nI was so relieved that I couldn't respond. Then Maria got angry with me because of my sudden, wordless phone call in the wee hours of the morning. I had to laugh because this was such typical Maria-like behavior, and she got even angrier, again saying, "Why are you laughing on top of making me angry!" \nAnd as soon I confirmed that she had no memories of the ‘Game of Idleness’, I immediately thought of Yuuri-san and Iroha-san. \nI couldn’t sleep that night, and looked for them at school the next morning. But I couldn't find them. Both of them had skipped school. \n---Maybe they wouldn't come to school anymore. \nBecause of my concerns, I begged their teachers for their addresses while incurring their suspicions, and was able to visit them. \nTheir conditions were horrible. \nYuuri-san suddenly started crying in response to the tiniest of matters. Iroha-san punched holes in the walls of her room and randomly started shouting from time to time. \nBut I somehow managed to assess their current state anyway. \nThey had forgotten about the existence of the 'box', but they could clearly remember what they had done. They hadn't had a [vicarious experience] of the last game when I was the player, so they couldn't remember. That seemed to be their current state. \nYuuri-san only had memories up until the second game when she deceived everyone. Iroha-san only had memories up until the third game when she killed everyone. Neither of them remembered their reconciliation. \nMy appearance seemed to make them even more unstable. Well, that was probably inevitable since I must have reminded them of that game. \nI also thought that it might be best for me to keep away from them entirely and allow them to recover naturally. \nBut in the end, that didn't seem right to me either. \nI was the only one they could talk to about that incident. Sure, their condition would improve if time passed. But they wouldn't be able to truly recover that way. \nI had to make them understand that their actions were inevitable. It was true that they had exposed the ugly sides of their personalities in that game. I could understand why they had trouble forgiving themselves. \nBut at least I forgave them. \nThat's for sure. \nI kept visiting them for a week. One time, I was about to be chased away by Iroha-san's family, but Iroha-san herself stopped them. Yuuri-san's mother welcomed me, although she didn't understand what was going on. \nIt was almost completely one-sided, but I kept talking to them. I kept telling them about the last game when I was the player. \nI could vaguely feel it: \nThat as soon their relationship recovered, they would have freed themselves of the 'Game of Idleness'. They would have won against the 'box'. \nTherefore, I wanted them to completely rebuild that friendship they had shown me in the last game. \nI don't know how much my frequent visits that week helped them, if at all. But they've started to come to school again. \nIroha-san just greets me cursorily when we meet, but Yuuri-san has started to visit me frequently during breaks to chat. \nNeither of them believes that they reconciled in the last round. \nFair enough. Unlike the situation in the last round, their relationship was completely destroyed. It's not easy to repair something starting from that point. \nBut I believe in them nonetheless. \nI believe that they can once again trust each other. \nAfter all, I know how dear they are to each other. \n✵ \n

"...have you talked to Iroha-san already?" \nYuuri-san shakes her head slowly and bluntly answers, "No." \n"...Yeah, I guess it's not easy." \nShe just smiles at my words. \n"I sure envy Otonashi-san." \n"...right, because she doesn't remember the game." \n"But that's not all," Yuuri-san says with a smile. \n"I'm a little jealous because you appreciate her the most, Kazuki-san." \nYuuri-san suddenly starts to cry. It’s really sudden, and she can’t seem to control her tears either, which further confuses her. Since the end of [Kingdom Royale], Yuuri-san randomly sheds tears as if some internal faucet has been broken. There are no traces left of the girl who used to be a pro at controlling her own tears. \nSince I've gotten used to her constant crying jags, I no longer lose my composure in response. \nEven as she smiles, Yuuri-san tells me: \n"Uhehe, I'm crying again already..." \nBut there's nothing dark in her expression. \n"I really do envy her. Because Otonashi-san is so dear to you, that’s also why she has no memories of the game, isn't it? Because you gave your all to protecting Otonashi-san, she didn't have to become a player and get hurt in the process." \n"......Maybe." \nI guess my efforts weren't futile after all. \n"She really is..." \nShe whispers and flashes a smile while wiping her tears away with a tissue. \nI smile as well, relieved by her expression. \n"Ah, you're smiling!" \n"Mh? ...Well, yeah." \n"Because you saw my tears? Umm, you can lick them if you want to, you know?" \n...Huh? Did she just say something weird? \n"You have a tear-fetish, don't you?" \n"......did I ever tell you about that?" \n"You did. You said you get sexually aroused by licking people’s tears or something like that." \nI definitely haven't said anything like that! And where does she get off suddenly talking about sexual arousal?! And what happened to her innocent personality?! \n"Tear-fetish, huh. You're quite a pervert, aren't you?♥" \n"W-Why are you teasing me even now!?" \n"Eh? Don't you have a preference for girls that do with you as they please? Like Otonashi-san." \n"That's a terrible misunderstanding! That reputation is always bothering me!" \n"So you even have to act like you don't really want it in order to get aroused... this is getting serious..." \n"W-What are you talking about?! Your personality wasn't like this before!" \n"Mh! I... I know! But what should I do?! I have to practice teasing you!" \nNow she's even firing back! \n"But it's quite funny to tease you..." \nThis conversation is definitely going downhill. \n"Ahaha. Well, let's move on to the matter I called on you about." \n"Eh? Didn't you just want to say thanks?" \nYuuri-san shakes her head charmingly. \n"I have a request." \n"A request?" \n"Yes. I'm still unstable and haven't completely recovered, so I'll be troubled if you stop visiting me from time to time. It would be problematic if you didn't visit anymore once summer vacation starts, so I wanted to request this from you in advance.” \n"...aah... okay, I'll come visit!" \n"Please come alone because we'll talk about that game. You can't bring Otonashi-san with you, okay?" \n".........Mh?" \nThis conversation is somehow moving in a strange direction. \n"Ah, one more thing. Yesterday, my mom asked me about you, «Is that boy who visits you all the time your boyfriend?»!" \n"......How did you answer?" \n"I just giggled embarrassedly «Uhehe»." \n"So she's misunderstood for sure!" \n"I know?" \n"Eeeeeh! What's with that «Please don't state the obvious»-ish answer?!" \nHer character has changed too much... or, maybe she just became so frank with me because I've seen her true self in the game... \n"...you're quite bold, aren't you, Yuuri-san?" \n"Uhehe, did you only now notice? I won't give up so easily, you know? No matter how strongly your feelings are inclined towards Otonashi-san." \n"...Umm, I was repeatedly deceived by you, you know? It won't be that easy to mess with me anymore." \n"Ahaha, you reap what you sow, I suppose. But there are still ways for me to get what I want, even though you know about my calculating nature. Right now it seems like all my actions are intended to attract you, right?" \nYuuri-san softly touches my hand. \nMy heart automatically skips a beat from a girl's touch. \n"Your heart beats faster although you know of my schemes, doesn't it?" \nI hate to admit it, but she's right. \n"I will try hard to win you over like this!" \nShe then brings her mouth to my ear and whispers, \n"I'll make you think that my frantic efforts look cute." \nAs planned by Yuuri-san, my face turns red. Uah... why am I so easy to manipulate... \nBut I smile wryly. \nLooks like she's going to be all right. \nYuuri-san walks away from me and starts to embarrassedly climb down the stairs. \n"By the way, it seems that Iroha and that boy have been getting on well together recently! The boy she's always been in love with, that is," Yuuri-san says as she descends. \n"...eh? Even though Iroha-san has a lot of other problems on her mind right now?" \n"Because of them, actually. Since she's gotten weaker, she doesn't seem so perfect anymore! And that's cute." \nCome to think of it, Kamiuchi-kun also said that self-reliant girls aren't cute. \nYuuri-san arrives at the bottom of the staircase and turns around. \n"Um, it may have sounded like a joke, but really, come to my house, please. I'll be waiting." \n"Okay. Honestly speaking, you've just frightened me a little, but I'll come. After all, I really am worried about you." \n"Uhehe... Ah, I'll clear my schedule anytime if you just give me a call, but today I have an important appointment. Sorry." \n"Hmm, what kind of appointment?" \nStill smiling, Yuuri-san turns her back to me. \n"I told you earlier that I haven't talked with Iroha yet, right?" \n"Yeah." \n"That's true, but actually we sent each other email. Right before I called on you." \nI’m surprised. \nDoes that mean--- \nYuuri-san turns around again and says, \n"Today I have an appointment with my dear friend." \nWith a bright smile, she speaks the words I have longed for. \nAah... indeed, she was telling the truth when she said that they haven't talked yet.

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