Riftan’s fingers turned stiff. Max, who was laying on his lap, turned her head to look intently at his face. He then bluntly spoke as he stared at the raindrops that hammered heavily against the window.
“It’s only because I felt nervous. Croix Castle is a place where I don’t really feel at ease.”
Max blinked in puzzlement. Even back when he was newly knighted, his actions were more dignified and intimidating compared to any nobleman. Although his speech and behavior were not very sophisticated, the arrogance in his attitude was present in the way he interacted, like he did not care about what other people would perceive him as. Max’s bottom lip protruded.
“You’re l-lying. Someone that nervous… wouldn’t act that arrogant.”
“Did I appear arrogant?” He asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Every time someone talks to you… You look down at them with this expression.” Max lifted her chin up and imitated how Riftan looked at people, trying her best to look as conceited as she could manage. “Whenever someone spoke to you… you looked down at them with th-this kind of expression on your face.”
“You mean, I made such a cute face?”
He laughed at Max’s ridiculous effort to imitate him, then lowered his head and placed his lips on top of her protruding bottom lip. Max grimaced as Riftan’s bangs poked her eyes when he pecked her lips.
“And whenever our eyes met… you used to stare at me with a fierce expression. It scared me…”
“You must have interpreted it that way because of my rugged impression. I was merely looking at you.”
He responded gravely and squeezed her face between his hands, making Max’s cheeks bulge frontwards like a squashed puffer fish. Her face flushed red and because of her protests he eventually removed his hands away from her face. It felt like a thorn pricked her heart at the ignorance and nonchalance he gave towards his treatment towards her back then. She looked at him with disbelief in her eyes.
“I d-don’t think so. You looked as if you were angry about something. Sometimes… I… felt like it was because you despised me.”
Suddenly, the smile on Riftan’s face was wiped off. Max anxiously looked up, searching for an answer in his black eyes that seemed to have clouded to conceal his emotions. Riftan then muttered his words with a bitter smile on his lips.
“I thought you hated me. Whenever I got close to you, you were visibly nervous. And whenever I tried to speak with you, you would run away with a frightened look on your face. I felt like a horrendous monster every time you did that.” He lifted a handful of her hair that fell on her shoulders and brought it to his lips. “Later on, it aggravated me. And so, I decided that I would hate you too. I wanted to get you out of my head and stop, I wanted to make myself feel at ease.”
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For a moment, Max was speechless. She wondered when she started to mean something to him. She recalled the first time she saw him. She clearly remembered the image of him entering the castle together with the knights sent to settle the dispute with Dristan. Among those hundreds of knights, it was him that stood out most and appeared most prominent. The maids used to argue over who would attend to him while he was at the castle, and even the ladies who were invited to the dinner banquets couldn’t take their eyes off him.
But Max couldn’t understand why women would fuss over someone who appeared so cold-hearted that they couldn’t even approach him. As he said, she did appeared stiff and frightened around him, but never in her imagination did it cross that she would catch someone’s attention. Riftan was terribly good at hiding his feelings.
Max hesitated for a moment then reached out to place her palm against his copper-colored cheek. “And so… did you h-hate me?”
“I did.”
Max withdrew her hand at his blunt response, but Riftan grabbed it as she was about to move it away then pressed it firmly against his face.
“I really hated you for capturing me and never letting me go.”
Then Riftan’s dark eyes sank and Max sat up and climbed to his lap.
“I r-really… never hated you. You were scary, but… in my head, I a-always thought you were dashing. That’s why whenever y-you’re in front of me, I get nervous and turn stiff.”
Riftan looked down at her intently, as if to test whether her words were true, then placed a blanket around her exposed white back and embraced her tightly against him. Max felt beyond ecstatic as she basked in his warm, thick arms, letting out a sigh and placing her head against his shoulder. She wondered if that was how it felt to be a bird lounging in the comfortable, cozy nest. Even the heartbreaks and sadness, all her worries and pain seemed to melt in that calm atmosphere. Max watched the flickering shadows of the fire from the furnace and asked.
“Aren’t you… disappointed with m-me?” She felt his arm that wrapped around her back stiffen. Max then hurriedly stuttered to add justice to her question. “I… stutter… I miscarried the ch-child… I’m not like that lady y-you… thought that I was.”
“You are exactly what I dreamed of.”
He abruptly intercepted her words. “No, you’re beyond comparison from what I imagined you would be. You are impossibly brave, you are lovely to the point of taking my breath away. And the child…”
Riftan swallowed as if there was something stuck in his throat. “To tell you honestly, I don’t think I want one anymore. I don’t even know how much blood you lost back then. I don’t ever want you to go through such a risk again.”
She felt him trembling faintly and Max blinked hazily. She hated herself for being relieved by his words. Of course, he needed a successor. That was the most dutiful role of a wife to her husband, even her mother lost her life after several attempts that led to countless miscarriages just to fulfill that duty. Riftan’s words felt unfamiliar, she was used to her father’s obsessive attitude of having an heir.
Max stared intently at him as if trying to figure out if he really just said those words. And then, Riftan lowered his face to kiss Max’s damp eyelids.
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“Having you is enough for me.”
Those words echoed in her heart. She buried herself deeper into his wide chest and their shadows casted by the light appeared like a strange shape of an animal. She thought to herself that it would feel so great to be just stuck to each other like this and never be able to part. It would have been nice if it was only the two of them in the world. Max then closed her eyes, growing drowsy from Riftan’s hands that caressed her hair. The sound of the rain then gradually subsided, a soft silence enveloping them.
***
The tension that surrounded Calypse Castle immediately dissipated after the announcement of the withdrawal of the war declaration. Although the security in the fortress seemed to strengthen, the visits from the mercenaries and the wagons loaded with weapons visibly reduced. Max saw this as an opportunity and told Riftan that the Duke of Croix was summoning his vassals and seemed to be plotting something. Surprisingly, Riftan was blunt about this.
“It’s just as I expected. It seems like they are putting pressure on the merchants that are coming to Anatol.”
Max’s face hardened. Anatol was a small land surrounded by mountains, most of its food supply was coming from trade as it was not a land suitable for farming. If the merchants were prohibited to pass through the trading routes that lead to Anatol, it would be difficult for them to come in.
She then asked anxiously. “Will that be… a-alright? If the merchants are cut off… Surviving the winter will be harder…”
“It wouldn’t be a big problem since a lot of the merchants that arrive from the southern continent come through the port.” Riftan replied while polishing his sword. “Lots of spices and silks will be brought into Anatol every year from now on. If they cut off the trading path from the north, it will be their loss.”
His calm explanation made her feel a little relieved, but she knew how stubborn her father was, so the anxiety didn’t go away.
“He might s-still… be plotting something else. My father wouldn’t stop at just th-that…”
Riftan sighed, then lowered his sword and went to embrace her. He sat on the bed and spoke as if to calm a child.
“There are still merchants who want to continue trading with Anatol. I commissioned them to follow the Duke of Croix’s movements, so you don’t have to worry.”
Max lowered her head weakly. “I’m s-sorry. Because of me…”
“Don’t be silly. It’s not your fault.”
He spoke bluntly, patted her head and then ran his hand through her hair. Max looked at his hardened face and sighed. Riftan seemed to want the Duke of Croix to intentionally cause some trouble and if the duke gave him the excuse, he would always try to fight.
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She felt like she was set in front of a dam that she would never know when it would collapse. However, regardless of her anxieties, the times passed by peacefully. Castle Calypse was hectic in their preparations for winter and the temperature dropped day by day as the season of rest approached. The restlessness gradually subsided after a week or two: when the weather turned cold, there was almost no travels in between territories. Even if the Duke of Croix was plotting something, it would probably be executed after the winter season had passed. Worrying about it constantly would only affect her and so Max consciously forced herself to stow her anxieties away.
In fact, since the declaration of war was withdrawn, there was no time for her to be buried alone in her anxieties as Riftan was constantly with her. While Max was brushing Rem’s mane, she stole a glance at her husband: he was dressed in casual clothes as he leisurely fed Talon an apple, so it didn’t appear like he would head towards the training grounds or patrol the walls after that. Max frowned a bit. Although being together like that was the most enjoyable and blissful moment for her, she worried that he might be dedicating too much of his time to her. Since she had been carefully observing the amount of work he had to do, after having quietly groomed Rem’s mane for a while, she carefully opened her mouth.
“Aren’t you b-busy? There’s no need to accompany me all the time when you have much to do, you might overwork yourself. Your body and health…”
“The road widening construction has been completed and the preparations for winter are all done as well. Right now all I need to monitor is Anatol’s border securities.”
“Well, it’s not that. Just last year… You’ve been so busy. I was wondering if it’s okay to be like this…”
Riftan’s expression appeared a little downcast. “Is it annoying for you that I’m around you?”
“Th-that’s not the case at all. It’s just that last year… you were so busy at this time. I was just wondering if it’s okay to be like th-this…”
“Last year, it hadn’t been long since I came home from the dragon expedition. I was busy sorting out all the accumulated work. From now on, I have no intention of working myself to death for the rest of my life.”
“I would like to object to that.”
Max turned her head to the voice that suddenly spoke. Hebaron was standing at the entrance of the stables with a displeased expression on his face.
“You are not going to put the responsibility of being the training director on me in the future, are you? I am overwhelmed with managing the guards alone.”
“Don’t talk as if you’re handling it all by yourself. I am aware of the fact that you’ve handed the management of the guards to Elliot.” Riftan answered bluntly, took an apple from the basket and fed it to Talon. “All this time you were slacking off so don’t talk much bullsh*t.”
Hebaron pursed his lips as if he was about to retaliate harshly, then looked at Max and let out a deep sigh.
“Let’s discuss that matter later… for now, you must come to the knight’s quarters at once. The spies who were sent to the duchy have returned.”
Max’s shoulders stiffened and Riftan shot a cold glare at Hebaron.
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“I’ll be there soon, so wait there.”
Note – LF: The communication in this chapter is *chef’s kiss*
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