âTeam Leader Jung! Why-why are you acting like this? What are you planning on doing by barging in?â
I didnât know either.
I grabbed ahold of my rationality and thought about it.
What was I doing right now? Of course, I was angry. Since I was relayed that nonsense. However, what could I do by barging in like this? Was I going to grab the Team 2 Leader by the collar and wreak the place, telling him not to try any schemes? Was I going to pull out his beard hair and swear at him? Ah, that wasnât a bad idea.
No, there was no way that wasnât a bad idea.
Letâs think about this rationally. What I heard from Chief Lee Janghyun was that the Team 2 Leader mistakenly thought that I had stabbed him in the back and was now plotting against both Lee Songha and me.
I didnât have any solid evidence or anything.
So letâs calm down. I stopped where I was going and endure.
I needed to come up with a plan after organizing my thoughts. Like I had been doing until now. I could look for countermeasures now that I knew the Team 2 Leader was up to something, and I could even find a way to take his plot and turn it around on him.
This was what my rationality was telling me to do, but my steps were getting quicker.
Was this how having an impulse control disorder felt like? It felt like my rationality and impulse had completely separated.
My entire body felt like it was boiling. The flames that surged in my stomach burned my struggling rationality. My mind soon became full of soot that I couldnât think properly. Each breath I took brought a burnt scent up my throat.
Yeah, what âcalm downâ? Why would I exercise restraint? So that I could create sarira?{1}
He was going to split Lee Songha and me apart and stab me where?
This wasnât something I should endure.
I swung the stairway door open and went in. My body seemed to move on its own like during my future visions. Chief Lee Janghyun, who chased after me, panted heavily. It just happened that Chief Jo was leaving the Team 2 Leaderâs office.
He flinched as soon as he saw me.
âThe Team 2 Leader is in, right?â
âWhat is the occasion?â
I immediately knocked on the door. A voice shouted.
-What is it?
âItâs Jung Sunwoo.â
-What? Who?
âI have something I want to talk to you about.â
The other side of the door grew quiet. Chief Jo looked at me in confusion.
-Come in.
I swung the door open and entered.
Around four chiefs hung around the second-floor hallway. Someone brought over instant coffee in paper cups, instead of c.o.ke and popcorn. They glanced at the firmly shut Team 2 Leaderâs office while sipping on their coffee. Chief Jo stood in front of the door like a statue.
âThe mood between them was chilly during Jung Sunwooâs party.â
âItâs been chilly for a while. The Team 2 Leaderâs been treating Jung Sunwoo like an eyesore before the party. It just blew up at the party. Once because the CEO talked a lot about Team Leader Jung Sunwoo, a second time when Seo Jijoon and Im Joowon arrived.â
âWhy people were wondering if the Team 2 Leader lost his touch with Nam Joyoonâs incident. There are people who ask if Seo Jijoon and Im Joowon should consult Jung Sunwoo about their schedules.â
âThe celebrities at our company are causing a commotion. I bet the team leaderâs head spun this timeâ
âProbably spun twice. Heâs the type to consider celebrities his children. Even though he a.s.signs us to them, he observes our every move like a mother-in-law.â
The chiefsâ gazes turned to the Team 2 Leaderâs office door once more.
Someone said,
âSo the issue is how Jung Sunwoo acts.â
âWhat do you have to talk with me about?â
The Team 2 Leader asked while looking at me like I was a plague.
I sat down on the sofa and asked back,
âWhat is it about me that you dislike so much?â
âWhat?â
He made an exasperated expression. He even snorted a couple of times.
âAre you drunk? Completely out of your mind? What are you saying after coming here without any notice?â
I was asking. I was wondering whether I should grab him by his collar or rip out his beard. That was being out of my mind. Right now, I was on the fence.
âI just wanted to talk about this properly once.â
I said while looking directly at him.
âI donât think I did anything to make myself out to be an enemy, but I feel like you hate me like one. Isnât it obvious that I would be curious about the reason why as the person suffering?â
So letâs hear it.
âIf you know the reason, are you going to change?â
âItâs not like Iâm some stand-up person. Of course, I should change if itâs something I feel is a problem.â
To be honest, it was a lie that even dogs wouldnât believe since I wouldnât be persuaded no matter what he says.
No matter how much I thought about it, I didnât think I did something to warrant his actions against me.
The Team 2 Leader revealed a ridiculing smile.
âHow can I like you? When you have no manners as a baby chick.â
Calling me a baby chick again. He should treat me as a chick transitioning into a chicken.
âYou constantly overstep your position. When I lend you a hand to help you out, you try to screw me over instead. Everything you do after joining has been an eyesore, so how can I like you?â
As expected, I couldnât accept it.
From what I could recall, he already began hating me when I refused to become Sung Dowonâs proposal and became an eyesore since the incident with Son Chaeyoung and Teacher Shim Kyungtaek.{2} He couldnât wait to devour me when I refused his s.h.i.tty proposal of joining Team 2 and managing Son Chaeyoung.
It only worsened with Nam Joyoon.
At this point, I should be the one with the grudge.
Wasnât that normal?
âIs that all? You were trying to stab me in the back by stealing away one of mine. Showing off by keeping Jijoon next to you.â
His voice was resolute and full of malice.
âArenât you the one plotting against me with ill will?â
âIll will?â
âYou have something against me because of Nam Joyoon.â
He observed my expression as he nonchalantly shrugged.
âNo? The mishap with one of Nam Joyoonâs movies last year. You think that I had something to do with it. How outrageous. Looking into it, it seems that there was some trouble between him and the director on site.â
I felt like I was counting down.
Three. Two.
Barely managing to keep my reason intact, I said,
âAh, that movie? Itâs great that we got out of it. I went to see it when it released, and they edited it so much that it wasnât the plot I originally knew. Since its budget was 10 billion won, 3.5 million people needed to watch it for them to break even. I guess around 300,000 people did?â
My ticket was included. I watched it three times. Once with Nam Joyoon, and twice on my own. It was when I was low on energy because of Making Film. My exhaustion washed away like I had taken a nutritional tonic whenever I watched it.
âSince we filmed Alive after that, so it turned out to be a blessing now that I think about it.â
The Team 2 Leaderâs expression gradually distorted.
Like he did before, I shrugged and said,
âAlso, I think you are misunderstanding something here. I never plotted to steal Mr. Seo Jijoon from you. I donât know why youâre so certain of that. Mr. Seo Jijoon simply came to congratulate me at the party. We at least have that much of a friendship.â
I would have flinched if he had brought up Song Inho instead of Seo Jijoon.
Since it was true that I wanted Song Inho.
However, it wasnât simply because I wanted to stab the Team 2 Leader in the back. If it was, I would have acted already. There wouldnât have been a need for me to repeatedly think about how I could bring Song Inho over without breaking my relationship with the Team 2 Leader.
If Song Inho wasnât suffering from being in Team 2, if he adjusted well in that team, and if the Team 2 Leader didnât hate me⌠If there werenât circ.u.mstances that rationalized this action, I would have ripped out that desire by its roots.
I was excessively cautious of âbad deedsâ.
âYou werenât plotting against me?â
âI had no plans to.â
As soon as I replied, the Team 2 Leader snorted. He looked like he didnât believe me one bit.
âAh, you really didnât?â
âI didnât. But you keep making me think about it.â
I said. My insides began to boil again.
Pausing, the Team 2 Leader glared at me. Returning his gaze, I said,
âLike you said, there has been some friction since Joyoon hyungâs matter. Thatâs why I hope you wouldnât take action against Joyoon hyung, Neptune, or Songha again.â
âWhat?â
âI would like to work in peace if possible. Iâm lacking energy even if Iâm pouring my all into my work. I donât want to waste it by fighting. I also donât want to be life-or-death grudge with you either. SoâŚâ
âHey.â
The Team 2 Leader, who was so menacing that it seemed he would wring my neck, suddenly smirked.
âDo you think my eyes have gone blind because people around me have been saying my discerning eye has gone down and such? Is your face one that wants to make peace with me? Itâs one that wants to properly face off against me. Your face looks like youâre about to ignite a fuse.â
My face looks like Iâm about to ignite a fuse?
I checked my lips with my hands. I was smiling. This wasnât something I would be smiling about while listening, yet when did I start smiling?
My heart throbbed strangely.
I didnât know whether it was because of my anger at the Team 2 Leader or because of some strange sense of expectancy.
I roughly rubbed my lips, then I got up and said,
âIf thatâs how you see it, then you just need to not ignite the fuse.â
The Team 2 Leader didnât reply.
He simply gave an unpleasant smile.
âOne, two, three!â
âh.e.l.lo! We are Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Girls!â
The goldfish must have bowed fifty times on our way to our waiting room. They greeted whoever we came across, whether that was a celebrity or staff member. Even at the wall. Chief Lee Taeshin was similarly hyped.
Most received their greeting, but other girl groups sometimes looked at them in dissatisfaction.
Neptune and I had been the same.
âh.e.l.lo, Chief Jung!â
âHey, itâs team leader, team leader.â
âOops! h.e.l.lo, team leader!â
A familiar boy group came over and greeted me. I greeted them back. I greeted other celebrities, managers, and staff as well while introducing Pretty Girls.
I continued down the hallway and knocked on the VIP waiting room.
-Who is it?
The manager, who stuck his head out the door, opened the door wide when he saw me. The main MC of the day, Park Taepyeong, looked back with an annoyed face.{3} A welcoming expression flashed across the same crabby face as in the past.
âOh, whoâs this?â
âItâs been a while.â
I greeted him and pushed Pretty Girlsâ backs. They had frozen in front of one of the top MCs in the country. Jung Jae started off with a âh.e.l.lo!â before their repeated chant echoed in the room.
âPlease take care of us!â
âOh, my ears! Donât ask me to take care of you and just do well on your own!â
The girls stiffened at his irritated reply.
I felt the girls in Chief Lee Taeshinâs care as I sat down next to Park Taepyeong and said,
âPlease go easy on them today. This is their first time on a public network talk show.â
âAh, d.a.m.n it. Iâm sick and tired of managers coming in and asking me to take care of their celebrities! But do I really need to take care of newbies like them? Rookies are supposed to learn after being edited out and stuff!â
Park Taepyeong exaggerated while placing his feet on the table.
I said,
âLast time, when you asked me to connect you to Songha for a speed quizâŚâ
âHey! She didnât answer a single one correctly!â
âBut it was entertaining. I also saw how you thanked her on social media.â
I coaxed him, not so much that it was unpleasant. Soon, Park Taepyeongâs gaze alternated between me and Pretty Girls. Then he signed and asked,
âOh, okay. This industry runs on favors like this. Are you going to be on set the whole time?â
âNo, I came over after pushing another schedule back. I wanted to greet you when I heard you were the MC today.â
âThen give us a reaction. Iâll try to give the girls a boost while talking about you.â
âThank you.â
âWe will work hard! We will give it our all!â
Yoon Sol shouted at the top of her lungs. The other girls bowed without thinking as well. Maybe it was because they all had clenched fists, but rather than a girl group, they looked like a gang.
âHey, youâre the one who showed off that imitation on Making Film, right? Donât do that, people are going to change the channel.â
âI have been preparing an imitation of Ch-Team Leader Jung SunwooâŚ!â
Oh Yeondu and Lee Hwain poked Yoon Solâs sides. Park Taepyeong chuckled,
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âDo that. The worse it is, the better.â
{1} Commonly referred to crystal-like beads found in cremated ashes of Buddhist monks.
{2} Itâs been a while but Shim Kyungtaek was Lee Songhaâs acting teacher who Son Chaeyoung worked with to make Lee Songha quit acting.