The little maid replied, “I did, they caught two men this time.”
Xie Zhiwei’s eyebrows twitched. “Men?” And even two of them. That’s completely unexpected. “Are you sure?”
“Sure,” the maid nodded. “He…he said, although they weren’t allowed to look up close, the cries were definitely male when the whip fell. They sounded like wailing ghosts, so there’s no mistake.”
So they’re probably irrelevant people. Even if Mu He’s cruel, he wouldn’t beat his own youngest martial uncle, right? Much less Qiu Chongyun or Tantai Meng. How could such pretty sisters scream like wailing ghosts?
The original novel even detailed how Mu He’s harem members all screamed “like black-naped orioles from the valleys.” Xie Zhiwei coughed dryly and said, “Since that’s the case, you’ve worked hard, young girl. You’ll definitely meet good fortune with your kind heart.”
The maid was quite shy to be praised this way and pursed her lips into a grin. “Xie zhenren is too polite. Remember to tell my fortune when you have time, ah.”
“Of course.”
The maid gave her thanks and left in high spirits. Xie Zhiwei withdrew his expression and immediately connected to the System.
“Gallant Outlaw, get out.”
“Hey, wait just a sec Idol, I’m coming right away.”
Xie Zhiwei could only wait patiently until five minutes passed before the dialogue box appeared.
“Here I am, Idol. Shall we continue from yesterday?”
Xie Zhiwei smiled coldly. “You’re pretty busy, ah. I remember four years ago you used to ask me questions out of the blue all the time. Now that things have quieted down, are you giving up on the plot because it’s beyond hope?”
Gallant Outlaw quickly explained, “No no, I only started getting busy these couple of days.”
“You’re already dead, what could you be busy with?”
“Cough cough, I was too idle and my hands felt itchy, so I…I started writing a new series.”
One of Xie Zhiwei’s greatest pleasures in the past was finding new books to read, so now he was interested too. “What’s it about? Let me see.”
“It’s still a cultivation story,” Gallant Outlaw cleared his throat. “But…it just started, so it’s no good right now. I need to find more inspiration. I’ll let you see once I write enough content.”
“Making it so mysterious, ” Xie Zhiwei couldn’t help adding, “I can tell you all the inspiration you need ah, I’ve experienced things personally.”
“Right ah, that’s doable!” Gallant Outlaw thought before he chuckled. “Idol, give me authorization to see where you’ve been and who you’ve seen these past few days. Let me have the luck to peek too, then I’ll definitely write out a cultivation society.”
Xie Zhiwei suddenly raised his voice to refuse. “That’s impossible!”
Gallant Outlaw sucked in air and asked carefully, “Could it be…that the hero did unspeakable things to you?”
Xie Zhiwei was reticent before he managed, “Sort of.”
“….how unspeakable?”
“…..”
“Oh right, you told me before. Then did he go to the next level last night?”
“Dammit, why are you so expectant?!” Xie Zhiwei exploded. “No, nothing happened!”
“Don’t be angry Idol, aren’t I here to help you break things down?” Gallant Outlaw coaxed again. “Look Idol, you’ve brought in personal emotions. It’s impossible to be objective about the plot with you like this, so…”
“So you still want authorization, right?”
Gallant Outlaw immediately plastered him in praise. “Aish, as expected of the intelligent and insightful Idol. You can see through me no matter what I try.”
“Enough, enough. There’s only 20 minutes, so I don’t have time to waste on words, Xie Zhiwei went to press the authorization button but suddenly recalled something and added, “Remember to put mosaics on me.”
“Oh, wh…where should I put them?”
“Slap them on my face.” Although he was an actor with actual acting chops, he still had an image as an idol to maintain. He was also Gallant Outlaw’s childhood male god, so his reputation would collapse if the man witnessed him being humiliated into helplessness.
As soon as he got authorization, Gallant Outlaw was raring to go. “Idol, I’ll look at five minutes first. We’ll have less than 10 minutes after that to talk about the plot.” Then he withdrew the dialogue box without waiting for a reply.
“….” said Xie Zhiwei.
During the next five minutes, Xie Zhiwei’s calls to him went completely unanswered. But Gallant Outlaw kept his word and came back online at exactly five minutes. “Id, ol…I…I’m ba…back.”
Xie Zhiwei was exasperated. “You lost your tongue?”
Gallant Outlaw seemed to be in shock. “N-no…it’s fine.”
There were only five to six minutes left. If he kept stuttering like this, the System would shut down before they got anywhere. Angry, Xie Zhiwei cried, “Speak more fluently!”
There was a deep breath from the other end before Gallant Outlaw stopped struggling for air. “Idol, let me ask you: the hero has never…made things difficult for you while you slept, right?”
“Right,” Xie Zhiwei thought back and nodded. “He at least has some credit there. He said he wouldn’t force me and even crushed the Heart Sway Arts iron plate to pieces. What, is there a problem?”
“Crushed to pieces, ah…” Gallant Outlaw’s thoughts spun wildly before he shook his head. “No problem, no problem. I grabbed a few scenes to look at and…they more or less matched your words.”
“Heh, and you say I’m not objective,” Xie Zhiwei replied. “So, what do you think I should do next?”
“This…that depends on what you want, Idol.”
“What I want?” Xie Zhiwei laughed coldly. “Can I redo the plot?”
Gallant Outlaw immediately grew weepy. “Idol, don’t make things hard for this humble one, System doesn’t have that authority, ah.”
The hell you crying for! I died inexplicably, transmigrated inexplicably, then died inexplicably again. Now my disciple’s inexplicably gay and inexplicably likes me.
If there’s anyone who should cry, it’s me, Xie Zhiwei okay!
“I don’t care,” Xie Zhiwei showed no pity. “Either that, or you tell upstairs I want to go back to my original world.”
Gallant Outlaw only replied categorically, “Idol, that’s impossible. A dead person can’t resurrect, ah. If things were that wonderful, I wouldn’t need this Heroic Author Spirit System.”
Xie Zhiwei still held a trace of hope. “What if I haven’t died completely yet?”
Gallant Outlaw just sighed “Idol, imagination is a good thing at times, but…you better take a look at this.”
Before he finished, Xie Zhiwei saw a video icon flashing in the dialogue box. Suspicious, he clicked it open. Then his vision was flooded with white that nearly turned him blind. When he recovered himself, he saw an expanse of white fabric hanging over half a room filled with people crying themselves to a mess. Xie Zhiwei looked at each and every face as if they were from a lifetime ago.
There was his family, his good friends, and the assistant and agent he’d worked with for ages. In front of them laid a person covered by white cloth. It was stiff and straight, obviously a corpse. He heard someone choke out, “Teacher Xie, you’ll always be in our hearts.”
Xie Zhiwei’s heart froze. Amidst the sobbing, the black iron doors in front of the body opened up, revealing a cavern of red flame. The corpse covered in white cloth was then pushed inside. After meeting his end in a car accident, Xie Zhiwei had thought of his post-death scenes countless times. He always imagined how grand the memorial service would be, or how many distinguished guests would come to the funeral, or how sad his fans would cry. After all, as a star his death had a certain status compared to regular people.
But he never thought further than that. As it turned out, even the most amazing lives had no different the moment they were thrown into the cremator. In the end, everyone was reduced to ashes. Moreover, if he hadn’t relied on the spiritual spring in the novel to soak his body, he’d probably be rotting away in the dirt by now. Xie Zhiwei was contemplating on whether he should lament the fragile state of human life and raise his enlightenment when he spotted someone in the corner of the crown and stilled. He thought he could left go of his past now that he was dead, but the sight of that man still made him restless.
Although that person had deliberately lowered his head, he still looked out of place in the crowd. Everyone was surrounding the fire and crying, but he simply took off the white carnation from his suit, turned it a few times in his hands, and looked at the cremator with a tsk in his throat.
That person had the same exact face as Mu He.
Xie Zhiwei cursed. “He Zheng, your grandpa! What do you still want to do when laozi’s dead?!”
The video finished playing then and the System interface returned.
Gallant Outlaw asked, “Idol, you seemed to be cursing someone just now. What happened?”
Xie Zhiwei only seethed. “He’s a far cry when compared to Mu He!”
Gallant Outlaw was completely lost. “Who’s a far cry from Mu He? What are you comparing?”
Of course he was comparing their wretched crying after his death, ah. But He Zheng that bastard was probably just playing a soy sauce (very minor) role at his own funeral…whereas he’d taught Mu He with his own hands. How could they be the same? Hmph.
Xie Zhiwei did his best to reel in his emotions. “Nothing. I just felt your Mu He is at least docile despite having some issues with his heart.”
“That’s true, that’s true,” Gallant Outlaw reacted quickly. “You might not know this, Idol. My hero might be explosive, but he’s as fine as a hair when he cares about someone. He’ll always put the other party’s feelings first.”
What’s he talking about? Why does it feel like he’s trying to coax me onto a boat of thieves?
“Mhm,” Xie Zhiwei replied perfunctorily.
Gallant Outlaw asked, “Right Idol, what do you want to do next?”
Xie Zhiwei didn’t hesitate. “I want to try escaping once.”
At that moment, the twenty-minute alarm sounded and the System disconnected again. Logically speaking, Gallant Outlaw said that the plot was fine for now. He himself had seen his death in his last life, so there were less conflicting thoughts in his heart. But for some reason, Xie Zhiwei only felt annoyed, though he couldn’t figure out why.
Luckily, no one disturbed him. He ate, slept, and ate again, living a free and easy life. But the good times didn’t last, and Mu He was back to see him on the second night.
—
Translator’s Note: Teacher Xie, Gallant Outlaw’s not coaxing you onto a boat of thieves, but onto your own ship so it can set sail…ahem, and now I’ll coax my own ship with the readers as we continue with 5-21’s double releases!