Ch7 - White Lotus

“Safe travels, junior brother and martial nephew.”

His pleasant tone was greeted by a pair of eyerolls. Xie Zhiwei didn’t care and maintained his slight smile as he saw the Bai duo fly off on their swords. Then he opened up the system window.

Gallant Outlaw was choked with tears when he spoke. “Idol, please tell me! Did sometime happen to the heroine? I don’t seem to sense her anywhere in the storyline.”

Xie Zhiwei didn’t hold back. “Go ask that weird protagonist you made up. I’m confused too, alright? En route to the gathering we ran into Tantai Meng, so I had the hero flirt with her. But when I blinked, the two of them fell into the river. Then the heroine…cough, disappeared.”

The air stilled.

“Say something, Gallant Outlaw,” Xie Zhiwei urged.

Words of disbelief answered him. “G-gone? Washed away by the water?”

Xie Zhiwei shrugged.

There was the sound of fingers scratching hair from the other end. Gallant Outlaw couldn’t believe it. “That can’t be, ah. I didn’t write anything like this, unless…”

“Unless what?”

Gallant Outlaw suddenly turned serious. “Idol, think carefully. What did you say to the hero? Or did you say something about the heroine in front of him?”

“I’m only a dead cannon fodder, could my words affect the hero and heroine?” Xie Zhiwei scoffed.

Gallant Outlaw disagreed. “Idol, you’re hurting my feelings here. You’re the very soul of the book. How could you have no effect?”

Xie Zhiwei only smiled coldly to himself before describing what had happened. Once again, the air grew still, but Xie Zhiwei was too lazy to care.

It was some time before Gallant Outlaw spoke again.

“Idol, this really is your fault. The hero shoved the heroine off the bridge.”

“Oh?” Xie Zhiwei gave a start before laughing incredulously. “You’re saying the hero pushed the heroine because of me? Does that fit the logic of a stallion novel?”

“Completely!” Gallant Outlaw said in a profound voice. “Return of the Immortal Emperor might be a stallion novel, but it’s got depth! The hero has a personality! First and foremost, he wants to claim everything. Since you’re the only person who’s treated him well, he probably sees you as equal to his mother.”

“…” said Xie Zhiwei.

Gallant Outlaw broke it down logically. “And yet you wanted to give him a junior sister and even praised her for her looks and brains. What was he supposed to think? It’s like an only child whose mother suddenly gave him an extra little sister. Would he be happy about that?”

Xie Zhiwei rolled his eyes. “Can we stop with the whack metaphors? I’m not his mom and Tantai Meng’s not his little sister. Why can’t he think about male-female relationships normally? He’s so incompetent for a stallion novel protag!”

“I repeat! Mu He is a stallion novel hero! After Cheng Daoxiu screwed him over, he rejected all females. In fact, he had no hope for the female race until a few girls treated him nicely later on.”

Trashy settings. What’s the point of adding all these fine details to a stallion novel hero?

Xie Zhiwei thought back to the other books he’d read. The number of “cheerful girl x moody boy” pairings were enough to reach the high heavens. “Who told you to make up settings as you pleased?” he shot back, “Lemme ask, since when did Bai Jianzhu and Xie Zhiwei have so many messy backstory connections?”

Gallant Outlaw was a little embarrassed. “I had it in my outline but didn’t use it for the book. Bai Jianzhu’s father had his son not long after naming Xie Zhiwei, so he got inspired to name his child  Jianzhu.  The novel’s only the tip of the iceberg for everything else and now it’s being brought to life. Of course we’ll run into lots of minute details—it just depends on what triggers them.”

“Sure sounds simple. It’s easy for everything to fall apart if you make the characters so complicated, you know.”

“Then…is there anything about the plot you don’t understand? I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Can’t think of anything right now,” Xie Zhiwei waved dismissively. “We’re almost at 20 minutes. I’ll poke you again when I hit a plot point.”

Shutting off his connection with Gallant Outlaw, Xie Zhiwei flipped through the System’s database and organized all information regarding the original Xie Zhiwei while tabulating his material possessions in Suihan Lodge. The original host really was a simple man. Not only did Xie Zhiwei have the smallest living quarters among his sect siblings, he only owned two to three sets of the same robes that he wore and washed in turns. All of them were the same crow gray hue. Leaving aside his trifling personal expenses and the volumes of manuals he’d written, all he owned was the treasured Qingping Sword.

There were five great treasures in the world: the four lotuses and one sword. They were in turn: the Black Lotus, White Lotus, Red Lotus, Golden Lotus, and the Qingping Sword. Legend said that they were formed at the creation of the world before being scattered in four directions. Since the Qingping Sword was one of the five great treasures, everyone wanted to own it. But without a profound cultivation base, one couldn’t even lift the blade. Fewer still possessed the strength to draw it from its sheath. It had lain in the sect for centuries before Xie Zhiwei finally unsheathed it, which was the main reason everyone respected him within the sect.

The original novel mentioned that Xie Zhiwei had given the Black Lotus to the hero. The demonic sect possessed the Red Lotus while the monks looked after the Golden Lotus in a temple. The last one, White Lotus, was with Shen You (沈幽) of Ashen Cloud Sword Sect (苍云剑派). Of course, this was all temporary. By the end of the book, all five treasures would end up with its ultimate winner—the hero Mu He.

The protagonist’s very next mission was to honor the agreement for his rebirth by killing Shen You as revenge for the dead soul sealed in the Black Lotus. At the same time, he’d gain White Lotus as a prize.

Most of the criticism for Return of the Immortal Emperor centered around this storyline, because the author suddenly switched to writing about the heroine’s feelings for the hero. Although this satisfied otaku fantasies, by the time the hero reappeared in the story the revenge was done and White Lotus already in his hands. Even his cultivation increased by leaps and bounds. There were no details about his trip to Ashen Cloud Sword Sect, nor were they ever added in when the story finished. When the time came, he would ask Gallant Outlaw about its specifics.

Xie Zhiwei had hardly finished planning all this when he heard footsteps from outside: the hero had returned. With the night sky at his back, Mu He’s first view after emerging from the bamboo grove was Xie Zhiwei standing in front of Suihan Lodge while bathed beneath the stars.

Shizun was waiting for me? Mu He’s heart warmed as he dipped his head bashfully. “Shizun, that rabbit…disciple saw the wrong thing.”

Heheh, I guessed as much. Xie Zhiwei pulled his lips up to a kindly smile. “How so? Was there no rabbit?”

Mu He had one hand hiding behind his back. He now brought it out and held up something while saying respectfully, “There really was no rabbit. Disciple mistook this cat for one.”

Xie Zhiwei took one look and silently cursed. Sh*t, what a fat cat!

What do I do? I hate cats. Those things can scratch your face out, take it away take it away!

Mu He saw Xie Zhiwei fixated on the animal and assumed he liked it very much. He stepped forward and offered it up. “I knew shizun would like it! Then I’ll give him to shizun!”

The cat had a body of snow white fur and wasn’t as fat as Xie Zhiwei claimed, but it was round and extremely cute. Somehow Mu He had kept it quiet, but now it began to meow and move around in Mu He’s arms.

Xie Zhiwei’s mouth twitched. “This, I…”

No, this is the first time the hero’s giving a gift. If I reject it and he gets pissed, what then? He’ll blacken to inhuman levels!

Xie Zhiwei wore a faint smile as he said slowly, “It would be impolite to decline…”

“Great!” Mu He happily pushed the cat at him. Xie Zhiwei braced himself to take it as his hairs stood on end. He’d never liked dogs or cats and felt uncomfortable around anything with fur. The System even had to issue a warning: “Your character is supposed to be very loving. System will adjust your cat-holding posture.”

Immediately, Xie Zhiwei lost control of his limbs as something shifted his arms and hands until he was holding the cat in a very professional way. Mu He’s eyes lit up. “Shizun’s so skilled. As expected, it was right to give him to shizun.”

Xie Zhiwei’s hand rose of its own accord to pet the cat while he paid respects (cursed out) to the System and its 18 generations of ancestors. With hooded eyes, he looked down to see the cat narrow its eyes like a pampered lord in comfort. That was even more aggravating.

Seeing Xie Zhiwei thoroughly pampering the cat, Mu He suggested, “How about shizun give him a name?”

You’re really getting into this, aren’t you brat? Xie Zhiwei thought. Isn’t holding and petting him enough? When does this end?

Ill at ease, he stroked the cat a little harder than intended. The coddled creature meowed in response and turned to bite him.

“Shizun, be careful!” Mu He exclaimed.

Fortunately, Xie Zhiwei’s immortal body meant an ordinary cat bite couldn’t do much. But Mu He hastily took back the cat. He wanted to make Xie Zhiwei happy yet screwed up. He next thought about killing the beast entirely, but worried that it’d ruin his facade in front of Xie Zhiwei. Still, Xie Zhiwei was so good willed and compassionate that it was impossible he’d nurse a grudge against an animal.

The cat hissed in Mu He’s arms, obviously displeased with Xie Zhiwei. He wanted to toss away this heartless two-face but 1) it’d anger the hero and 2) ruin his image.

He couldn’t just let this cat off so easily, however.

After some thought, Xie Zhiwei smiled and said, “No harm. Master enjoys this cat’s unrestrained nature. As for a name, I’m afraid he won’t like one I pick at liberty. How about…”

As predicted, shizun didn’t blame the cat. “Does shizun have any good ideas?” Mu He asked hastily.

Xie Zhiwei turned towards the house and gestured for Mu He to follow. From a bookshelf, he took down a volume of poetry while his disicple stood watching with the animal in his arms. The lamplight flickered against Xie Zhiwei’s body and illuminated the lines of poetry in the book. A cool breeze rustled through the bamboo forest, mixing with the distant ripples of a stream to form a harmonious image. Although Suihan Lodge was a shabby place, Mu He suddenly felt like this was a scene straight from a divine realm.

Ignorant of his thoughts, Xie Zhiwei carefully flipped a few pages and set the book on the table. Then he took the cat from Mu He’s arms while ignoring the creature’s struggles. Hiding a sneer in his heart, he adopted a tender expression. “Although this little creature can’t read, there should be a word he favors. Come, now.”

So speaking, he casually set the cat on the book before secretly weaving an incantation with his fingers. The cat yelped and moved involuntarily until its paw pressed against a single character.

“Look at which word his paw is resting on. That will be his name,” Xie Zhiwei instructed the befuddled Mu He.

Enlightened, Mu He couldn’t help praising, “Shizun’s solution is good!”

The cat meowed and jumped off the table as if this had nothing to do with him. Once he landed, he went to chase after the flickering lamplight shadows. Mu He quickly found the spot where the paw had been and read the line of poetry tied to it. “'The hues change colors akin to an ashen dog,' it looks like the paw was on…dog?” He looked up at Xie Zhiwei in amazement.

Xie Zhiwei nodded and glanced at the cat pouncing about on the ground. His smile was exceedingly fond. “Since he likes it, then let it be as he wishes.”

—

Translator’s Note: Did you notice? Almost of the high-ranking members of Yujing Sect share the 知 zhi character in their name: Sect Leader Yan Zhifei, Second Martial Brother Xie Zhiwei, Third Martial Sister Xia Zhiqi, and Youngest Martial Brother Chu Zhishi. This is also found commonly in Chinese families where the middle character of the name is used among all children from the same generation.

Of course, you’ll also notice that the only exception to the rule is the former sect leader’s son, Fourth Martial Brother Bai Jianzhu. Leaving aside Gallant Hero’s explanation, one of the Chinese commenters put it best: “he really gives his son preferential treatment!”