âI like shizun. Disciple will only like shizun in this lifetime!â The reply was decisive.
Mu He had never said those words out loud. He hadnât dared while Xie Zhiwei was alive, and dared even less after the man died. All these years, he had tried to summon Xie Zhiweiâs soul through all sorts of side paths and alternative methods, but never succeeded. He guessed that shizun was too angry to see him because he wasnât strong enough to avenge him yet. If he said something so outrageous and immoral out loud, shizun would disdain him even further. Thus, he repressed those feelings in his heart for four whole years.
Red Lotus hadnât assimilated well into his body, causing his proud self-control to weaken. At first, it started with dreams. He hadnât dreamed for a long time, but began to recall his unpleasant past with increasing frequency. Xie Zhiweiâs bloodstained face showed up again and again in his mindscape. Days later, he began to drift off in broad daylight and could see Xie Zhiweiâs form flickering in and out of existence before his eyes. With all those treasures under his belt and his own lofty cultivation, Mu He was well aware of his own condition. He quickly discerned that these were spiritual illusions born out of the rejection between Red Lotus and his own consciousness, but he still deluded himself into saying that this was just shizun missing him.
Todayâs illusion was all too wonderful. No longer a flickering shadow nor a bloodstained corpse, he had seen, hugged, and even kissed his master.
âShizunâŚâ Mu He called out softly again. The sensation beneath his fingertips was warm and soft, spurring him to use more force to see if this was real. But he was afraid that too much would reduce everything to nothing. His other hand traced a path down from the slender neck to the clothes, almost touching the collarbone beneath it. Fingertips picked apart the torn lapels and touched the slightly pale skin before the person in his arms trembled. Mu Heâs breathing suddenly quickened as his eyes grew hazy. âCan clothes tear in an illusion?â
At his words, a sound slap hit him across the face.
Mu Heâs face stung hotly. After all his years of cultivation, ordinary strength wasnât enough to cause him any pain, but this one had spiritual power behind it. Although it wasnât strong enough to injure the skin, his eyes finally cleared.
The âillusionâ hadnât dispelled but was still being held in his arms.
So this is the real shizun, not a hallucination!
He lowered his head, shocked and overjoyed, long forgetting the slap to his face. Everything that happened at Summit City flashed through his mind:
âThe coffin was empty.
âHe saw Chi Yanâs mask break with his own eyes, revealing the face that haunted him in his dreams.
âIn the thorny bamboo grove, that person picked up Qingping Sword again, appearing to him with a stance identical to the past.
But after they met, Masterâs attitude towards him was completely different. Shizun told him to âtake careâ and didnât show him a hint of a smile. He broke down in response, treating shizun as an illusion and evenâŚ
Mu Heâs pupils contracted before he looked down to meet Xie Zhiweiâs furious face.
âYouâŚunfilial disciple!â Xie Zhiwei shoved him aside while backing away as much as he could, scrambling to cover his chest with his clothes. He staggered towards the door, feeling dizzy and thunderstruck all over his body. Even his head was brewing up a storm, the roar making his brain buzz.
How could the plot turn crooked? Why did the hero bypass all the women? Why did the hero copy my handwriting? Why did he say to my coffin that he didnât want to live?
Why, why, whyâŚ
These 100,000 whys had an answer as soon as the protagonist said he liked him.
And soâŚeverything fell into place.
In the aftereffects of such a huge blow, Xie Zhiweiâs face had turned a ghastly shade of white while his eyes stared straight ahead. His body wobbled as he leaned against the door to barely steady himself. Seeing this, Mu He wanted to step forward and help him.
âDonât come over! Stay away from me!â Xie Zhiwei fixed Mu He with a guarded look, his eyes filled with panic.
He hadnât been so frightened even when Mu He was threatening his life. At least the spiritual spring could still save him if he died. But he would never be able to wash the psychological shadow of the hero saying he âliked himâ in the same tone he was supposed to use on the heroine.
How did a perfectly fine stallion novel with a proper stallion protagonist suddenly develop into this? What happened to the hero in the four years that I died!?
Or had the protagonist started deviating even before then?
No way, right. Although we werenât inseparable back then, I was controlling his every move, ah! Xie Zhiwei began to have doubts. Was my aura too powerful? Although I have the same face as the original character, I ended up being more attractive than the previous Xie Zhiwei? Enough to attract both women and men?
Pah, whatâs worth showing off about that?!
I raised the stallion protagonist into a gay ah!! It was fun to steal scenes, but I never thought of stealing the girlsâ scenes too ahhh! Those are terrible! They make up a third of the original book ah! There was no difference between day and night! They all cried for mercy beneath the heroâs body ahhhh!
Xie Zhiwei couldnât stop thinking of Gallant Outlawâs unspeakable episodes. From the bed to the fields, from this position to that oneâŚimage after image were replaced with himself, causing goosebumps to rise on his flesh. He squeezed his eyes shut and clawed at the door to run outside, but his feet stepped on air before he fell into a mass of Black Lotus light. Its tendrils wrapped around him layer by layer, holding him tightly yet gently. There was none of its previous killing intent in the Blood River Lake, but Xie Zhiwei wouldnât treat Mu He any kinder because of this difference.
He said expressionlessly, âYou know this is impossible. Although Master doesnât know what I did wrong to let you misunderstand, I donât like men.â
Mu He entered the Black Lotus space, the dark light mixing with shadows to illuminate his handsome features. He stared fixedly at Xie Zhiwei, looking extremely nervous. âI know. Normal men all like women. Tell me who she is, shizun. Disciple promisesâŚto not touch her.â
Xie Zhiwei felt metaphorical black lines down the side of his face. Like hell Iâd believe you, youngster. Look at you gnashing your teeth.
Because, my conscience is clear. Iâve dedicated myself to work. Even if this was my last life, I was a good actor with zero scandals. And here I have to be even more prudent to distance myself from the opposite sexâaccording to the original novel, any woman could develop a relationship with you, ah pooh!
Xie Zhiwei said flatly, âI donât like anyone, including you.â
So you might as well give up. Bro wonât get entangled with the likes of you!
âWhy?â Mu He tugged at Xie Zhiweiâs sleeve, unresigned. âThen why did shizun take in this discipleâŚand still treat disciple so well?â
âI only saw you as a child,â Xie Zhiwei said, âIf this wasnât appropriate, master will take note of it in the future.â
âDoes shizun truly only think of me as a childâŚâ Mu Heâs hand gripping him paled before his tone hardened. âSoâŚdisciple has decided. In the future, I wonât pay respects to shizun anymore!â The complex emotions in his eyes were so deep that they could swallow someone whole.
âWhat do you want?â Xie Zhiwei subconsciously stepped back, but it was impossible to go anywhere with Black Lotus hemming them in. He began to panic. This was the protagonist who could take his life without any effort. But if he did anything elseâŚthen Iâd rather heâd kill me instead.
Mu Heâs lips curved up before he pressed close. âHow can shizun be sure of certain things unless he tried them first? You have few desires, so Iâm afraid youâve never tasted those kind of sensations. But disciple refuses to believe that you wonât feel anything.â As he finished the final sentence, one hand was already resting on Xie Zhiweiâs collarbone and rubbing it lightly.
It felt a tad itchy.
Xie Zhiwei was now truly alarmed. âYou, what are you doing?!â
âSee? Shizun still feels something.â Mu He exhaled before bullying further, this time taking a nibble of Xie Zhiweiâs ear. He felt the person in his arms turn away to avoid him, but didnât mind and hugged him tighter. âFour years ago when shizun took disciple swordflying, disciple was already thinking of doing these things.â
Xie Zhiwei was full of regrets. Looks like I shouldnât have taken him swordflying!
Mu Heâs tongue flicked over his collarbone. âDoes shizun know? When I was drenched in Black Wolf blood in Ashen Cloud Mountain, all disciple could think of was shizunâs bathing body.â
Xie Zhiwei wanted to cry but had no tears. Looks like I shouldnât have let him see me bathing!
Mu Heâs movements suddenly stopped. He stared into Xie Zhiweiâs eyes as his voice lowered. âShizun could never imagine what disciple has gone through. Disciple originally vowed to never fall in love with anyone again until shizun showed up. It was shizun who allowed this disciple to be reborn.â
Xie Zhiwei simply wanted to die. Looks like I shouldnât have followed the crappy plot!
He shouldnât have transmigrated at all, it was all his fault! He was going to find Gallant Outlaw right now and get out of here!
And also, did this count as rebirth? Youngster, donât you know youâve ruined your entire life? You were supposed to marry a rich white beauty and walk to lifeâs peak. The arrogant straight man protagonist with a harem of 3,000 was reduced to a poor damned gay. Whatâs there to be happy about? Be more conscientious!