Ch51 - Retrospective

Translator’s Note: In case it’s confusing, the beginning contains a flashback to the conversation between Xie Zhiwei and Gallant Hero that we never got to read from Chapter 43!

—

“Idol, I have a bold idea…”

“Speak.”

“Your role is too important. You died so early in the original novel but still remained forever in the hero’s heart. Now that you’re alive and well, the protagonist relies on you so much that it’s already affecting him body and mind. That’s why he’s deviating from the original plot settings.”

“Obviously I know that. Now what?”

“Idol, my bold idea is that you die once.”

“….”

“Idol? Isn’t this a great idea? You’re speechless, right?”

“Heheh.”

“See, you’re even laughing. You must be admiring my creativity. When the Demonic Sect comes smashing the place, you can kill the enemy with all your strength and die of poisoning in the process. Not only will you steal the biggest thunder in the scene, you’ll also engrave your memory in the hero’s mind and make a name for yourself throughout the entire cultivation world!”

“Get. Lost.”

—The above was Gallant Outlaw’s shitty idea from a few years ago.

Xie Zhiwei still remembered how he balked and rejected the proposal. It was cool to steal the show, but his bottom line was to not die. Otherwise, all his efforts to avoid the production crew (only to die) would end up as a farce.

Anyways, death would come sooner or later, so why fuss?

But Gallant Outlaw was full of persuasion. He said things like “there’s no point in the story if the hero strays from the plot,” “you’re not really dying, isn’t there still a spiritual spring,” “you’ll just act it out, won’t it be awesome to play dead while you’re alive,”you can dominate the jianghu afterwards,” etc.

While Xie Zhiwei objected on the surface, he was actually somewhat moved. In any case, the Demonic Sect wasn’t scheduled to appear until a year later, so he could live a carefree life and do something meaningful while he waited. For example: increase the hero’s favorability, stop being so distant, or reduce his dependency on him. Maybe sneak around and find a place with good feng shui for Chu Zhishi to bury his body.

But he never expected the domino effect to be so strong. Taking the seat of city lord for Summit City offended Bai Jianzhu → Bai Jianzhu found the Demonic Sect while at the end of his rope → Qiu Chongyun debuted ahead of time → the Demonic Sect attacked early—everything happened too fast. He didn’t even have time to discuss details with Gallant Hero before he rushed to his own demise.

He was very satisfied with his own scene and secretly happy to see the hero panicking in his final moments. He didn’t even forget to remind the teen about his allergy to brush up some favorability. In this way, the hero would be sadder after his death and hate his killers even more.

…though thinking about that made him feel a little guilty.

There was no helping it. Only that kind of protagonist was capable of acting against Bai Jianzhu and walk a path of blackening with no return.

Still, he didn’t expect the pain of the poison infiltrating his organs and burning through his heart to be real. While he was wondering whether he’d die from pain or blood loss first, he died for real…

Last time he gave up his life to refuse a role; this time he gave up his life to steal the scene. What is all this?

Gallant Outlaw coaxed, “Idol, you can’t put it that way. You were so anxious to die back then that I was still asleep… When I woke up, you were already a corpse so I couldn’t revive you, ah. But this spiritual spring is really rare. Even if the emperor wants one, he can only find a few drops of its water after scouring the world. I filled up an entire coffin’s worth of water to soak you for four years before—”

“Wait, how long?” Xie Zhiwei gave a start. “Four years?”

“Cough cough…y-yeah, ah…”

“WTF? You kept laozi offline for four years?!”

“Who told you to die before I got up and brushed my teeth… No matter how strong spiritual springs are, they still have to abide by the plot, ah. The original novel said one drop can renew a body for a year. But when it comes to resurrecting the dead, you need to soak the entire body for four years. Luckily it’s only four. If it was 400 years, you’d wake up when the hero was off conquering galaxies instead…”

Xie Zhiwei listened to him reasoning it all out before exploding. “Why the hell are your settings so broken?!”

Gallant Outlaw grew solemn. “I am an author with logic. Aside from the protagonist, I can’t just make stuff up. If the spiritual spring is too powerful and someone else gets their hands on it, won’t they start downplaying the hero?”

Xie Zhiwei could only gape. He felt it was impossible to talk sense with such an unreasonable, lunatic author. From now on, he couldn’t rely on him for the plotlines anymore.

—Here I am desperately risking my life while he needs to brush his teeth before buffing me up. He’s one of a kind.

“Shut up! Remove my speech restrictions!” Xie Zhiwei gnashed his teeth while disconnecting.

Thankfully, it was only four years later. The events of the original novel lasted five before the story ended, so he could catch up with canon in one year. But Gallant Outlaw had a point: his existence affected the hero and the plot.

Now that he’s been dead for so long, the hero should be back on track. He was already some distance away from Yujing Sect, so Xie Zhiwei resisted the urge to turn back and traveled alone along a mountain road. On the way he sorted out all plot possibilities and his current mission.

First thing to do was ask about the hero’s current status and blackening levels. It had to be said that being dead for four years helped Xie Zhiwei make up all his missed sleep from his past life. He was a little confused when he woke, but now he was extremely clear-headed. Even if he regretted his impulse to steal the show with the Demonic Sect, he was already dead and buried once. The daoist clan even commemorated his death anniversary four times and now grave robbers were digging up his tomb. But he was well and unharmed after all that mess. Soaking in the spiritual spring had even made his skin much whiter and more tender.

If the people who grieved and worried about him knew this, wouldn’t they stab him to death in hatred so he could lie back in his coffin? Xie Zhiwei’s heart gave a jolt before he backtracked with spiritual energy to the little hut he just left. The inside was lit with candles and the window was bright. The silhouette of two whispering figures could be seen inside. There were several large sycamore trees outside, so Xie Zhiwei simply stood on top amidst the luxuriant branches and leaves to hide himself. He used spiritual energy to dry his clothes while listening in.

“Old Du, y-you really plan to do this?”

“What else can we do? Xie Zhiwei is either alive or dead, but he’s missing. Even if we explained what happened tonight, will our sponsor believe us? That spiritual spring is top quality goods. Since no one’s there, we can bring some out in exchange for money and flee to the ends of the Earth. It’s better than sitting in a mound for years.”

“…..”

“You can’t be a gentleman without measure. I’m doing it if you won’t, ah.”

“I, I’ll do it too!”

The two reached an agreement before taking some bottles to head underground. But Old Du suddenly looked around the room and said, “Something’s wrong, ah. I remember I left the umbrella by the bed today. Why is it missing now?”

Maozi pointed at the cupboard and exclaimed, “The cupboard’s open too. Looks like it’s missing some clothes.”

Old Du hastened forward and sifted through the cupboard in alarm. “The money’s gone, not a cent is left.”

Both men exchanged looks of alarm. Before they could speak, a chilly breeze extinguished all the candles in the room. Maozi shrieked while Old Du grabbed him. “Don’t shout.”

In the darkness, their eyes opened wide as they heard the door latch slowly pull itself open before wind blasted the doors open, slamming it against the wall with a frightening bang.

Maozi shivered and could hardly speak, but Old Du was calm enough to yell, “Who’s there?”

In the center of the space framed by the open doors, a figure in daoist robes slowly descended from the sky. He seemed to come from a different world with his hair ravaged by the winds. Maozi covered his eyes and peeked through his fingers, stammering, “Xie…X-Xie zhenren?”

“Precisely,” the figure replied. The voice was identical to the one from the coffin, but sounded less raspy with sleep.

Maozi collapsed on the ground and waved his hands. “It’s got nothing to do with us, ah, we were just taking money for a job…and we only accepted the deposit, which wasn’t much! We don’t know who the employer was either, he’s never shown his face. Xie zhenren, spare our little lives, we won’t dare to anymore.”

“If that’s the case,” the figure replied, “This surnamed Xie won’t pursue the matter. You two should just seal up the tomb as before.”

Maozi quickly replied, “This humble one remembers, remembers.”

Old Du examined him for a while before bolstering his courage to ask, “You…are you man or ghost?”

“This surnamed Xie isn’t certain either,” Xie Zhiwei said on purpose.

“Eh?” Old Du was doubtful. “Weren’t you dead? For four years, even.”

Xie Zhiwei stood at the doorway without entering, leaving nothing but an ethereal silhouette to their eyes. But in the end he shook his head and sighed despondently. “Most likely, this surnamed Xie ascended.”

The figures in the room sucked in a cold breath.

Slowly, Xie Zhiwei continued, “This surnamed Xie has cultivated for many years. How could mere poison affect me? I didn’t die after being buried for four years because the Heaven’s will showed pity and granted me a spiritual spring. That helped me ascend.”

Maozi immediately pressed his palms in a heshi as he chanted, “That’s good that’s good, anything’s fine as long as you’re not a ghost…”

Xie Zhiwei felt black lines down his face. Bro, you’re a tomb robber. You can’t be so timid, ah. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Heaven’s will said that if you two spread anything about tonight’s matters in the future, you will incur heavenly lightning and die very ugly deaths…”

Old Du’s hairs stood on end as he quickly replied, “I know, I know, heavenly secrets must not be revealed. Go well, take care.”

“No rush. This surnamed Xie has something to ask you two.”

“What is it?”

Xie Zhiwei said, “Since this poor daoist ascended, I should have left matters of fame and merit behind. But the only thing I can’t give up is my disciple named Mu He. Do you two know how he is doing now?”

“If you ask anyone else, they might not know, but you found the right person in me,” Old Du was eager to send him off and searched his heart and soul before replying, “This Shizi of the King of Nine Provinces shut himself up ever since leaving the daoist sect. Rarely does news of him leak out. I only know that he’s rather close to the young  commandery princess of Prince Yin Manor. The two might be engaged already.”

“Is this true?” Xie Zhiwei’s lips rose up in a grin as he forced himself to remain calm. “I’m relieved if that’s the case.”

In fact, I’m happy beyond belief!

This commandery princess of Prince Yin Manor was the last of the three big leaders of Mu He’s harem. With a strong backing behind him, the hero could stand firm in the royal court. The so-called engagement was also part of the original plot.

Looks like the plot’s really back on track. I didn’t die in vain.

Xie Zhiwei turned with a face full of smiles as he prepared to leave. Behind him, Old Du called out, “That there, Xie zhenren. Did Heaven’s will say anything about the spiritual spring in your coffin?”

Xie Zhiwei didn’t even look back. “Heaven’s will says it will belong to you and other fated people.”

He had just received outrageously good news. Forget about a coffin full of spiritual spring water, he’d even sell off Gallant Outlaw right now.