Ch1 - Heroic Author Spirit System

Xie Zhi (谢之) was startled awake by a knock on the door, but didn’t even bother opening his eyes. “Who is it…”

A reverent voice replied, “Second Martial Uncle, it’s almost time.”

Due to his professional habits, Xie Zhi always tried to squeeze in as much sleep as he could. Having his precious naptime interrupted made him irritable. “What are you babbling about? I’m Xie Zhi, all right?”

The person outside grew startled. “Second Martial Uncle is joking with the disciples again. Everyone knows that Second Martial Uncle’s full name is Xie Zhiwei.”

“What the hell…” Who’s Xie Zhiwei? Sounds familiar…

Hold on!

Xie Zhi’s eyes flew open. Above the bed was a canopy of light blue gauze. Around him was a room outfitted in an ancient, antique style. There was even a sword on the table (though he couldn’t recognize the metal) with a pale green jade embedded in its hilt. It looked pretty expensive.

Xie Zhi gave a cold laugh. Doesn’t matter how much you spend on the props. I’m not playing a soy sauce character .

The person outside grew doubtful. “Second Martial Uncle, what are you laughing about? It’s almost time and you’ve always been prompt. Did you oversleep because you were exhausted looking after that boy last night?”

Boy? Xie Zhi turned his head and realized there was someone else sleeping on the bed as well. His face was turned towards the wall. Xie Zhi sat up and continued to chuckle. “What, you want to trick me into acting? Where did you hide the cameras? Take them away and stop pretending. I’ll tell you now, I won’t act—”

Before he could finish, his entire body seized up. There was no more noise from the person outside and the sound of birdsong stopped mid-chirp. Even the tendrils of incense drifting up into the air froze in place as if the animation was buffering.

What’s going on? Before Xie Zhi could react, a voice sounded by his ear.

“Thank you for using this system. As a first-time user, you are permitted to make that sneering expression one last time.”

The hell? Sneering for the last time? Speaking of which, this…can’t be a trick by the production crew, right?

How could technology advance to the point of controlling time-space? What kind of forbidden tech was this?! Instead, Xie Zhi saw a square-shaped dialogue window pop up before his eyes.

Press A to be serviced by artificial intelligence. Press B to be serviced by automated intelligence. Press C to quit.

Xie Zhi pressed A without hesitation. Immediately, a young man’s voice replaced the cold and androgynous System.

“Hello, Idol Xie.”

“Hello my ass. Speak, what kind of spirit are you?”

The other sounded hurt. “Idol, I really am a spirit.”

Xie Zhi was startled. “Huh? Does this mean I’ve been possessed?” No wonder. It’s not forbidden tech, but a supernatural event?

“No no no Idol Xie, don’t be afraid. This is a boon, not possession. Currently you’re in the world of the novel Return of the Immortal Emperor. This system was custom-tailored for your use so we could tackle future challenges as a team.”

“Challenges?” Xie Zhi couldn’t accept it. “What did you guys do to me?! I’ll tell you now, I’m not going down an idol actor path! If you wanna mess with someone, find those young fresh meat actors! This is a violation of my human rights!? I’ll sue everyone!”

The other just sighed. “Idol Xie, did you forget? You died already.”

Something exploded in Xie Zhi’s head as memories flooded back. He recalled his car exploding over the ocean like scenes from a comic strip.

At last, he came to his senses. “I-I’m dead?”

“That’s right. Your body’s probably in the cremator by now.”

It took a long time for Xie Zhi to digest the facts. All of the applause, bouquets, accolades, slander, and ruin he received evaporated like an empty dream. His life had a bad ending, so dying wasn’t so awful. Subdued, he asked, “All right then, who are you?”

The other was rather surprised. “Idol, you accepted reality so quickly…and you’re so calm, cough, I’m Gallant Outlaw, please look after me.”

Hearing this, Xie Zhi grew agitated again. “What the f***! So you’re Gallant Outlaw? You know you screwed me over? I’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you!”

Gallant Outlaw was helpless. “Idol, how is it my fault that you got in a car accident?”

“If you hadn’t mentioned in your story that Xie Zhiwei (谢知微) was written for me and wished I could act in the live-action, would that crappy production company bother to find me in the first place? Wasn’t I just trying to shake them off? As if I have any drag racing skills! Soy sauce characters are sh*t!”

“That…it’s only because I admired you. I really liked watching you act as lofty divine types when I was in school. So honestly, I used you as my original inspiration.”

“You think I’ll believe that?”

“It’s true! Xie Zhiwei was the hero’s guiding light. Recalling him at crucial points in the story helped  him avoid deviating in cultivation. Who else but you could play someone so outstanding?”

That’s right. Throughout life’s twists and turns, Mu He (穆涸) always remembered Xie Zhiwei as the only person who treated him well. He would only need to recall the image of the solitary man on the mountain with his slight, small smile. Then he’d lose all doubts and ascend straightaway in cultivation. A person like that was even more important than the heroine.

Although something feels off for some reason? Xie Zhiwei didn’t ponder too deeply as he grew smug. “That’s a given. They didn’t call me the #1 Xianxia Typecast for nothing.”

“Then Idol, can I trouble you to act as Xie Zhiwei during your lifetime here?” Gallant Outlaw probed.

“Why are you so persistent?”

“Oh, I mentioned that this was a boon, right? It’s a perk for every author who lost their lives writing their stories. This system is called the Heroic Author Spirit System. Whenever a hard-working author dies, they can stay in this system and watch their characters come to life and complete the story. Such an interesting gift!”

“So why did I get dragged into this?”

Gallant Outlaw grew serious. “Because you just happened to die. I’m thrilled. I feel like…like a girl who’s gotten her period and sees butterfly-winged pads falling from the skies, so comfortable she could burst! So I immediately applied to the system to pull you in. Do your best, Idol! You are my butterfly-winged pad!”

Man, what kind of crappy comparison is this? Xie Zhi didn’t think twice. “No way, doesn’t this mean I’ll have to die again? By now I’m nothing but ashes in my last life, but you still want to curse me to death here?”

That wasn’t an exaggeration. Mu He was a reborn protagonist set on revenge. Before his rebirth, Xie Zhiwei had already been murdered by the villain from the shadows. It was only after his rebirth that Mu He discovered the death by chance thanks to finding Xie Zhiwei’s secret manual and final message written in blood.

It was bitter being a soy sauce character who only existed for the main character’s sake. Xie Zhi was stifled by the thought. “It doesn’t even matter whether this character exists in the book, right?”

Gallant Outlaw denied it vehemently. “No!!! He’s! Very! Important! Without Xie Zhiwei, Mu He wouldn’t even step past the door of cultivation!”

Xie Zhi mulled it over. That’s true. The main character only got into the cultivation sect thanks to Xie Zhiwei. The protagonist had been unconscious at the foot of the mountain when Xie Zhiwei took him back to Yujing Sect for treatment. The timing coincided with the daoist sect’s disciple selections and refilling the vacancy of a city lord position. Perhaps a spring was loose in Xie Zhiwei’s head, but he gave up the chance for a cushy city lord title, handed the male protagonist over to Bai Jianzhu (白见著), and retired to a broken-down bamboo house to bury his head in the martial arts world’s secret manuals.

Incidentally, Xie Zhiwei picked up the protagonist at the same time he found a fierce soul sealed within a black lotus. This lotus had the power of rebirth so its owner never had to fear death.

So of course he gave it to the main character.

After his death, Xie Zhiwei disappeared from the events of the book. Meanwhile, the protagonist used the black lotus to rewind his life and get revenge while collecting a harem on the side. He ascended to the throne of Immortal Emperor, reigned over (countless) tens of thousands of (beauties) lands, and reached life’s peak.

Personally speaking, Xie Zhi had no hobbies besides reading stallion webnovels to pass time. While browsing the site, he came across Gallant Outlaw commenting how he wished Xie Zhi could play Xie Zhiwei but had no impression of the character. It was only after a long hard search that he uncovered such a person. Back then he even scoffed at Xie Zhiwei’s idiocy. As an expert in martial arts and a lofty sage among men, he not only found a rare treasure but met the male protagonist early on in the storyline. At the very least, Xie Zhiwei deserved to be on par with a second male lead! Instead he ruined an excellent hand of cards. Only a dead man would play such a brainless character.

Such thoughts were now a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Speaking of which, the boy lying on the bed had to be the protagonist. Meanwhile, the person outside must be urging him to take part in that big gathering happening about now.

Xie Zhi turned grave. “Wait, doesn’t this mean Xie Zhiwei’s going to sign off soon?”

Gallant Outlaw hastily replied, “Originally yes, but…now you’re Xie Zhiwei. This system’s very humanized so it’ll give you plenty of room to improvise. As long as you don’t go out of character or affect major plot points, you can do whatever you want.”

Xie Zhi was delighted. “That’s good.”

In comparison, Gallant Outlaw was more concerned. “But Idol, Xie Zhi doesn’t vie for anything and has a low-key life…he also has an extremely agreeable personality…this isn’t just acting, but living his life.”

Xie Zhi smiled coldly. “Are you saying I have a bad personality?”

“Ah, I didn’t say that,” Gallant Outlaw denied. After a pause he kindly added, “That’s right, Idol, the system has some restrictions in place to prevent you from going out of character.”

Xie Zhi was alarmed. “Like what?”

“Hold on a sec, I’ll get you a user guide.”

Three seconds later, Xie Zhi heard a ding  before an ebook appeared in front of him and automatically opened its pages. The emotionless system was soon dictating its contents:

“Welcome user to the Heroic Author Spirit System. In accordance with Xie Zhiwei’s character settings, minimize furrowed brows, sneers, and acts of ridicule. Avoid sardonic and maniacal laughter, verbal altercations, eyerolls, fighting, bullying the weak—”

Xie Zhi pressed the fast forward button to skip to the next paragraph. Doesn’t it just mean I have to have a good temper and not blow my top? Although Xie Zhi was rather explosive, he’d worked in show business for decades. It was a cinch to play these crappy goody-two-shoes types!

“Violating any of the above taboos and behaving out of character will deduct Presence Points.”

What are Presence Points?

“Presence Points below three stars indicate mischaracterization or lack of presence. Restrictions will be increased as appropriate to ensure integrity of character roles. Presence Points above three stars will reduce the quantity of listed restrictions. The system trusts Presence Points above three stars as a guarantee of in-character performance that will enrich the characterization and complexity of Xie Zhiwei.”

It really is a machine. It sounds so formal.

“You can increase Presence Points by progressing plot points and remaining in-character. Alternatively, increase Presence Points through interactions with the protagonist Mu He.”

Xie Zhi seemed to have found a shortcut. In other words, he didn’t have to force himself to complete the plot all the time. As long as he was on good terms with the protagonist, he could gain points. He loved cheats like this the best.

“Keep in mind, your name is Xie Zhiwei. If at any time you violate this setting, the system will automatically deduct all your Presence Points.”

It’s really underestimating me. Even the suckiest actor won’t screw up such a paper-thin role.

Gallant Outlaw piped up, “Idol, you can only use the System for twenty minutes a day. Our time’s almost up, are you ready to greet your new life?”

Xie Zhi had already settled into his role. With placid eyes, he returned a small smile. “This little friend jests. I am no idol, but Yujing Sect’s Bixu zhenren (碧虚真人)—Xie Zhiwei.”

—

The author has something to say: In short, this is the tale of an irascible person pretending to be a warmhearted man.

Translator’s Note: Did you know? The author wrote a sister novel to this one called This Daoist is Just an Actor (贫道只是个演员), which tells the story of the novel Xie Zhiwei transmigrating…into the actor Xie Zhi’s body. (And yes, he does end up acting as “himself” in the web drama adaptation. Lol!) You can watch a fanmade video for that series on BiliBili too!

Yaayyy click me to see~