Tondemo Skill â 475 â The Best Thing for a Dwarf is Liquor
For a short moment, I debated with myself over whether to tell anyone about Demiurgos-samaâs oracle, but⌠since God himself told me that itâs fine to take care of it in my âspare timeâ, Iâll just forget about it for now.
Anyway, Iâm really busy.
Very busy, you know?
[1] I have loads of things to do like, like cooking! I have to replace my precious Magic Stove, donât think I have forgotten about it, you damned Behemoth. Also, er, bathroom expansion! I have already made the appointment to meet the contractor, which is tomorrow, so I canât go anywhere for the time being.
[1] Once the renovation starts, I have to be there to supervise. Yeah.
[1] In fact, I should let my gatekeepers know to let Bruno-san here when he comes.
[1] Yeah, letâs do that.
The next morning, I made sure to inform Tabitha to expect Bruno-san, before entering the kitchen to cook. [1] See? This is me busy cooking to keep my beloved familiars nice and well fed. No time for any country subjugation or whatever you call it.
After feeding my familiars, I relaxed my nerves over a cup of coffee when a knock came, followed by Tabithaâs voice, âMukouda-san, Contractor Bruno is here.â
âAh, yes, excellent. Coming~â
I opened the door to see three small but very muscular dwarves with bushy beards standing in a line at my front door.
At the sight of these [2] professional-looking strangers, I straightened up and gave them my best service smile, âThe one who requested the job is me, Mukouda. Thank you for coming today.â
âOu, Iâm Bruno, weâre here for the job.â
âRight, thank you. This way, please. Ah, TabithaâŚâ
âIâll return to my watch,â
âAh, yes, good. Do that.â It still felt a little awkward interacting with Tabitha as an employer (slave owner), but, [2] maybe I should think of her as the head of security. Yes, itâs perfectly normal to speak to the head of security.
[3] I turned to Bruno-san and his colleagues. âAhem, this way to the bathroom, please.â
âOu,â
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âHo~~ what a nice and spacious bathroom. You want to make it wider?â
Bruno-san was giving me a quizzical look, but I countered that with a professional smile, âThatâs right.â
Indeed, this is normal. Itâs perfectly normal to want a huge bathroom.
[4] âAhem, I want a larger bathroom partly because of my familiars,â I said as I lead the group of three Dwarves to my living room. âThey would be sharing the bathroom with me.â
âExpanding a bathroom for your familiars, now thatâs S-class level of extravagance,â Bruno-san muttered.
[4] âAhaha,â well, they are my main income earners after all. Itâs thanks to them that I am so rich now. So, I canât mistreat them. âIâd like a bathtub large enough to accommodate my Fenrir and my, ah, Ancient Dragon.â
[4a] Honestly, I feel like a Chuunibyou just uttering those words, eww. But itâs all true though.
[4] Next, came the actual discussion on how to practically expand the bathroom.
[4b]
âWell, sir,â said Bruno-san, âdo you want to just expand the bathroom or the bathtub and bathroom? Will you be adding another tub or replacing the tub?â
âWell, Iâd like a bigger bathtub if possible, maybe even a sunken tub so that it is easier to get into. A larger bathroom would be good tooâŚâ
âHmm, for the bathroom, itâs best to just knock down some walls and expand the room inward into the building than to construct an extension. For the tubs, Iâm sure you know this, but we donât make those. The technique is very specialised, closer to pottery making than construction. That one is outside our field of expertise.â
âI see,â well, I could always purchase a tub from that place Lambert-san introduced to me last time. What was the name again? Nevermind, Iâm sure I can find it again. Anyway, âIâm fine with taking down the walls, the rooms next to the bathroom donât get much use anyway.â
âThat would also reduce the construction time,â said Bruno-san as he made a note. âYou say you want a sunken tub? You want it fully sunken or partially sunken? Here are the following optionsâŚâ
[4b]
The talk went on quite a bit as we discussed the details. Finally, once the bathroom talk wrapped up, I said, âIâd like to have more servantsâ quarters built, if you would come this wayâŚâ
I led the Dwarves to the servantsâ quarters outside of the mansion. Behind these buildings were some trees.
[4b]
âIf possible, Iâd like to clear those trees and add a few more buildings for servants,â it still made me cringe to say âservantâ but thatâs still miles better than saying âslavesâ. âIs it possible to build three or four more houses here?â
âTree felling and land clearing are not under my responsibility. Iâm in construction.â
âThenâŚâ
âI have an acquaintance for that, but he wonât be able to do it right away. I will come once the land has been cleared.â
âI see, um, well, the style of the building didnât have to be the same as the mansion. Iâd be happy if you could follow the existing types hereâŚâ
âHummâŚâ said Bruno-san as his team followed me into Albanâs dwelling. He gave the place a cursory look and said, âHm, well, Iâve seen enough. For the bathroom with the necessary digging, piping and so forth, I believe it will take two months to get everything done.â
âTwo months? Just for the bathroom? What about the servantsâ quarters?â
âHumm, naturally I will get to that once the bathroomâs done, but only once the landâs been cleared.â
âI- I see,â I wonder if I could get Fer to help me with the tree felling? Surely he could chop the trees with a well-placed Wind Cutter? As for the land, surely I could do something with my Earth magic?
Anyway, to thank them for making the time for the inspection, I handed each Dwarf a bottle of whisky.
As soon as Bruno-san received the bottle in his hands, his eyes changed.
âA-are you the owner of the âPhantom Liquor Storeâ?â
âHm? [5] Ah, well, that isâŚâ
[5] Bruno-san stared at me with wide eyes for a long time before suddenly turning to his companions and said, âGo outside first, I wish to speak with Mukouda-sama privately for a moment.â
[5a] Eh? Mukouda-sama? Where did that â-samaâ come from?
[5a] While I was busy being stunned by the sudden polite tone, Bruno-san had already ushered his colleagues out of the room. After looking around suspiciously, Bruno-san suddenly scuttled close and whispered, âI heard that the owner of the Liquor Store is an S Ranker, but thatâs about it. Could it beâŚâ
[5]
âAh, well, um, may I know where you heard about this liquor store from?â why am I whispering too?
âThere is a rumour among the dwarves about this store. That the store has no fixed location, but more importantly, it sold ultra special unique liquors!!â
âAhhhâŚâ Bruno-san is looking at me with wide sparkling eyes⌠I am not at all happy to be stared at like this by a bearded little man!!
S-seriously, it was starting to become unbearable.
âHahhh⌠very well, if you want something similar to this, I can make arrangements to get a few more bottlesâŚâ
âREALLY!!!??â
Ugh, Dwarves could be surprisingly loudâŚ
âHyahoo! Weâll start construction work the day after tomorrow. Iâll give you the best super express service. Two days!â
âEh, what? Two days? Wait, if youâre going to do a rush work and compromise on the quality-â
âDonât be ridiculous, Dwarves will never compromise on quality!â
âThen⌠fine, but, will it really be fine?â
âOf course! Itâs a promise!â
Bruno-san shouted the last part at me as he ran out of the house, startling his two companions who ran after him.
â⌠âŚâ whatever, I donât care anymore. Itâs good that he wants to do this quickly. I guess Iâll be paying in liquors.
[Gumihou: Deleted the ending where Mukouda talks about how he was planning to bathe using his portable bathtub for the next two months, which kind of brings down the momentum of the chapter.]
[1] Put in text how he âbusyâ was. Fixed the timeline too.
[2] Show some of his âJapanese-nessâ
[3] Tabitha and Peter appeared together here, which I thought was strange. Maâam, since youâre keeping watch at the gate, arenât you supposed to leave one person there while the other does escort work?
Itâs only later when Mukouda was wistfully watching Tabitha and Peter walking away that I finally realised why.
Eh, deleted this scene since it doesnât serve any purpose aside from making Mukouda feel bad about being single.
[4] Adjust text so that it made sense
[4a] Add details to make it more interesting.
Because the original details are suuuuper boring
[4b] Deliver information through natural-sounding dialogues in place of Mukoudaâs rambling thoughts
[5] Adjust text to reflect a more realistic dialogue re âOwner of Phantom Liquor Storeâ
[5a] Add details about Mukouda being Japanese about social titles