As the sun went down and midnight approached, the mansion became silent as if it were dead. I didn’t go back to the bedroom. I sat blankly in an empty room and watched the rain fall roughly. It was a pity that I couldn’t make a fire in the fireplace. What should I do from now on?
It was difficult to predict what would happen from tomorrow right now. If Lina was right, Wilhelm must have talked to Richton alone by now.
So, how did the conversation end? I was assured that Azmaria would not return to the Will family. So would Richton respect her will? She expressed that the marriage itself was based on her will, but… Well, nothing could have been more stupid than trusting Richton’s words.
At that moment, there was a sound of fire from nearby. I lifted my head away from my thoughts. A long shadow was cast in front of the red fireplace.
I couldn’t believe there was noise upstairs and I did not even notice the movement right in front of me. The owner of the shadow buried himself on the sofa and turned to me. It was Wilhelm.
“This place is as humid as under the sea.”
I looked into his eyes. Wilhelm didn’t have the same glare as Richton. On the contrary, it completely melted into the darkness and felt like part of it.
“It’s probably not a familiar place, but you found it well.”
“Habit is something that is revealed unconsciously…. No matter how much I lost my memory, I thought that this aspect would still be there.”
“This aspect?”
Wilhelm gave a friendly smile. Oddly enough, I wasn’t afraid or frightened.
“A day when the wind and rain are so strong that the sky is indistinguishable. It’s about sitting in front of the fireplace and enjoying the atmosphere.”
Was that so? But this was not a parlour, it was just a corner of the employees’ space. On reflection, his argument was very valid. Whenever it rained, I would always sit in front of the fireplace and stare at the window. No reason at all. Did Richton feel the same way as Wilhelm?
“You really know me well.”
Instead of hearing an answer, Wilhelm’s expression became noticeably stiff. The tip of his white and fine nails touched my chin. He grabbed my face with his gentle hand. Only Wilhelm’s presence was clear in the shabby space.
“Who did this?”
I moved my head, but he didn’t seem to have any intention of letting go, seeing his grip strength getting stronger.
“What if I say it?”
“Something will change.”
I suddenly became curious. Did Wilhelm know that Azmaria had memories of Agrane?
“Azmaria Will?”
Wilhelm, whose face was close, asked me.
“Is it her?”
“How do you know so well?”
“That’s right.”
Wilhelm gently stroked my opposite cheek, which was not swollen. And he continued speaking with a look as if he was reminiscing the old memories.
“Azmaria was a very lovely child. She was a gentle, innocent, and kind child who deeply understood the situation of her subordinates. …Just like my dear sister.”
Vivianne. My breath stopped at the mention of her existence from Wilhelm’s mouth, and then a terrible sense of reality overtook me. I moved my jaw and hurried away from him. The black darkness behind Wilhelm’s back was blazing as if to swallow me.
“But one day, all of a sudden, she left my hand.”
Wilhelm looked down at his empty fingertips with a grave look. It was like swimming from the bottom of a lake that felt like a dream to the land of reality. I grabbed the fingertips that were starting to tremble and pressed them down.
“As if she was terribly frightened by something. Miss Susan, do you know why?”
“What would I know, aren’t I just a maid?”
“…They all show the same pattern, as if they have conspired together. Pretending to know everything about me and Duke Ingord, engrossed in their own emotions that are not understandable, and treating me like a monster. Seeing the sudden change in attitude in one day hurts a lot.”
They. It was clear who Wilhelm was referring to. It was obvious that it was referring to people who entered the 『The River Where the Sun Manoeuvres』 including me. But I suddenly lost my words after being hit on the head. Because to my ears, ‘they’ sounded like ‘they have Agrane’s memory’.
“Miss Susan doesn’t know. The fact that they evoke a very strong nostalgia for me.”
Wilhelm’s eyes became more comfortable as if in a longing dream. I managed to part my lips.
“You mean Miss Azmaria Will made my cheeks like this because she is part of ‘them’?”
Wilhelm only grinned, but didn’t answer my question. I thought— What if it was not over with me and Azmaria who had Agrane’s memories? What if all the people I thought were in the same boat as me had her memories?
“They’re really incomprehensible. Who the hell are they? It’s not enough to treat you like a monster, they’ve also made my cheek like this.”
“What’s the use of knowing who it is now?”
My heart started beating like crazy, and I felt like my heart was aching. It felt like I could drain my heart out of my throat like this. What did my face look like now? Was it peaceful like Wilhelm’s, looking out at a river flowing? Or was it engulfed in great chaos? Or with extreme fear?
“There’s no point in this world.”
Wilhelm replied with an insignificant look.
“What’s the use of the dead?”
At the time, I probably felt unbearably sick. I thought that this might really make my heart bleed in front of him. I managed to balance myself on my weak legs and stood up. I grabbed my forehead with a headache that poked my eyeballs.
“I’m sorry I said that. I have a terrible headache, so I think I’ll have to go in.”
“Oh, my God, you’ve been holding on. I’ll take you home.”
“It’s okay.”
As soon as I passed by Wilhelm, he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me. When his body touched behind my back, I felt breathless. I barely turned my head to emphasize it again.
“Really, it’s okay.”
“It’s because I’m worried that my cousin might collapse.”
I couldn’t say no this time. Wilhelm followed me and reached the bedroom door. Just before turning the doorknob, I spoke briefly.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you come to Ingord?”
Wilhelm stared down at my face. The white face reflected in the lamp smiled softly as if it could not be more enjoyable.
“Susan, I said I’d save you… I didn’t think you’d have already forgotten.”
He kissed me on the forehead as if he were used to it. I closed the door and frantically wiped off my forehead that had lingering warmth with my sleeve.
Wilhelm was saving me? Did that mean he was going to drag me down to the depths of the abyss? I laid on my back with the blanket all over my head. That was not going to happen. Never would that happen.
***
It was just after sunset the next day that I started to feel anxious.
“His excellency is calling you.”
Those words from Berkne, who had come in tiredly, were oddly ominous today. I followed him without answering. The air in the mansion was as cold as frost in the middle of winter.
“There is also Count Will inside, so be careful not to make a mistake.”
I didn’t think there would be any slip of the tongue. As I lowered my head to reassure him, the tightly closed door of the office opened. There was a familiar smell of burning inside. It was the smell of a cigarette used by an unfamiliar middle-aged nobleman— Count Will, while Richton and Azmaria were sitting side by side.
Keane stood behind him and looked at me. After the door closed, the number of members in the office increased to six, including me and Berkne. It was fortunate that Wilhelm was not there. At least I could breathe.
“Bring me the tea. With very hot water.”
At first, I thought it was just a call to get work done. However, it was Berkne, not me, who left the office at Count Will’s order. When he closed the door and disappeared, I was left alone. Count Will opened his mouth without looking to where I was standing.
“…so I wonder when the person who can help you make decisions will come. Do I have to wait another day to see him?”
“Susan.”
Then Richton called my name out of the blue.
“Come here.”
As I approached him, Azmaria’s gaze followed me. There was not a shred of kindness and trust as before. It was an eye that coexisted with pride that looked down on what was below and anxiety that could not be hidden. Azmaria’s hands were clad in white lace gloves.
“Susan.”
His eyes rested on my swollen cheeks for a very long time. I wanted to accuse Azmaria of her behavior, but I closed my mouth quietly because there was no proper evidence.
“Yes.”
“Do you know why I called you?”
I calmly put my hands together, reflecting on the meaning to his question. Exactly the words Count Will spit out in a dissatisfied tone.
“Is it because I can help you make decisions?”
“Exactly.”
Count Will shook his head with a false smile.
“Lord, are you fooling me?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t know? If a woman who is nothing more than a maid participates in this discussion, how can it not be an act of making fun of me?”
“What a joke, Count Will.”
Richton smiled slowly. It was a smile filled with only dozens of layers of fatigue and languor, with no sense of tension. I suddenly felt a chill down my spine and bit my lips.
‘For how many days has it been raining today?’
The memory of that day took my breath away. That face of Richton was a face that killed people.
“I think Ms. Azmaria understands very well what I mean.”
At Richton’s words Azmaria smiled awkwardly.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m ignorant of what you’re talking about….”
“When you came to ask me for the offer.”
Azmaria’s pale face rapidly lost its vitality, as if it had been plastered.
“It wasn’t me who accepted your offer, it was someone else. Do you remember?”
“that…Isn’t that a thing of the past?”
“Azmaria, what are you talking about?”
In the atmosphere that began to intensify, Richton opened his mouth in a calm voice.
“Calm down, Count Will. From now on, my maid will decide whether or not to return the Count’s daughter to Will.”