23.Smart

It was a normal day out, but I went there purely out of curiosity about what it was.

But I never thought Mrs. Colento was in that cramped bookstore. Thanks to this, I could not even look at the book properly in the store and had to pick up and buy books at random. It’s an adult romance novel that I chose, so it’s stuck in the drawer.

“He could have just pretended to know Madam.”

“He did. At my age, I know at a glance that’s what he meant. He couldn’t even make eye contact when he asked me about your story.”

I shrugged my shoulders without answering. Anyway, I pretended to be as casual as possible, so I couldn’t even see his face.

“Susan”

Shortly after, a familiar voice called my name over the hall. I didn’t even have to turn my back to check who it was. It was clear that the Berkne was there. Mrs. Colento looked at me to signal that I was free to go.

The reason why Berkne calls me at this time is usually obvious. He was headed for Richton’s office when I saw him climbing the stairs without looking back. It’s been fifteen days since I saw him. I haven’t had a chance to face Richton since returning to Ingord. The death of the marquis caused a bigger stir than expected, because the entire main building was crowded with aristocrats visiting every day.

“Berkne”

Just by calling his name, Berkne replied in a fed up voice.

“Don’t ask me any more, Susan. You really have a lot of questions. I don’t know what kind of strange words you’ve heard from Crohertz, but… As I said before, I have nothing to tell you. Because I, too, am only inferring what I have seen so far.”

Maybe it’s because I have been prying into Richton’s madness for days. Berkne’s response was not very good. I walked behind him in the sun falling into the shape of a square window frame.

“I didn’t mean to ask you that.”

“If not? what else?”

He, like Mrs. Colento, seemed to be struggling with the preparations for the banquet, being particularly sensitive than usual. I don’t have to come forward and bother him. I shook my head not to offend Berkne, but he crumpled his forehead many times, as if to hurry up.

“A Duchess will really be welcomed?”

“You’re asking me such a natural question. More natural than the fact that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.”

As expected. Thinking back, it was a very silly question. There’s no way a woman in the duchy wouldn’t marry him. Then will there be one more mistress besides Richton? And his succession?

But isn’t Richton’s existence itself poison? He couldn’t have produced a successor. Also, if he can’t get a successor, he wouldn’t have to have a wife. Of course, this assumption would mean nothing if a woman appeared to make Richton do his best.

“You are the one questioning it. What makes you think it might not be the case?”

“There’s no reason to say that. It’s just… it’s hard to imagine.”

Can he, who said he hated me for the rest of his life, tell someone he loved her for the rest of his life?

There’s nothing he can’t do.

But that’s, that’s really not fair. A noble lady of noble blood as beautiful as glasswork. Duke Richton confessing his love to such a lady. The look of trust in each other. A kiss that promises eternity. I only briefly drew it in my head, but it was disgusting as if I saw a rat tail in the stew.

“It is more of a duty for a noble to form an alliance through marriage. Especially for the aristocrat of a great position who can’t be looked up like His Excellency. His marriage is also a long-cherished desire for His Majesty. It’s only a little late, and Ingord has no choice but to greet the Duchess.”

“I see.”

Then the Duchess must die for the rest of her life. Even to her own husband. I barely held back what I was about to say by sticking out the tip of my tongue. I’m just a maid, and I know that.

“Susan”

“Say it.”

With Richton’s office just a few steps away, Berkne’s steps are visibly slow.

“Because His Excellency considers us special, we must not close our eyes foolishly. Pride is different from Ingord’s poison. It will devour you and make you fall in the end.”

You want me to figure out the topic before I ask you a question? But Berkne is not a great man to explain so roundly. He told her bluntly to refrain from asking unnecessary questions.

“It sounds like a commitment to yourself if it’s not my imagination.”

He smiled softly. He didn’t laugh out of joy, he just thought my answer sounded interesting. Berkne’s smile reminds me of a wax figure. The corners of the eyes were standing still and the corners of the mouth went up, making him unnatural as if paint was applied to the portrait.

“You’re wise, so it won’t happen. You can regard it as needless nagging.”

He tapped on the door of the office and signalled with his chin. I held the doorknob and made eye contact with Berkne. He looked like, ‘Why aren’t you going in now?’

“I’m sorry, Berkne. I’m not smart.”

However, the day will not come when I will be blinded by pride. That was real bullshit. Richton is an existence that makes your hair stand up just by sharing the same place. But you become arrogant just because you are a very, very special dog? I bet the dog is blind, noseless and deaf.

As I always feel, the closing of Richton’s office sounds particularly clear and loud. I slowly moved to the space where the morning sun broke down. The carpet in the office, which was replaced a few days ago, was thin and spaced, making it feel like walking on a puzzle. Even after a fortnight had passed, Richton remained the same. He was sitting like a painting against the background of a broad-leaved tree swaying like reeds(1) in the autumn wind behind a wide window.

Everything was really the same. A pale face who makes you doubt his health. Even blue-gray eyes that you can’t tell what’s inside. The dignity of the possessor, reigning from the top. How much time had passed, and the time she had played Beatrice tangled in his arms all felt like an illusion. Some people roll their heads to death to catch even a small clue, while he just sits back and watches my wanderings. I felt like I was being played on the palm of his hand.

“It’s hard to see you these days. Is it my illusion?”

It was common for a maid and employer not to face each other once for fifteen days.

“Come every seven days to show your face.”

The sound of fountain pen cruising on paper drags the silence inside the room longer. I stared quietly at Richton, sitting in a disorganized position.

“…..I thought I said you haven’t shown your face in fifteen days. What do you think?”

“It’s my fault.”

“It seems that life in Ingord has become very comfortable. I also put the word inconsistency in my mouth.”

There was no height in his voice. Rather than feeling ridiculed or exalted, it was calm like the surface of a windless lake. It was also at peace. Without a hint of remorse, he was soft and calm as if reciting a poem.

Richton looked very stable. At the same time I was nervous. Richton’s orders in Ingord are absolute. But he didn’t straighten the leash of a dog that was acting up. There was no such thing as common nagging. Like he didn’t care about me.

“Susan.”

Why?

“If it’s too much once a week, I’ll put it off once a fortnight.”

After returning to Ingord, I had a small, intense curiosity that was hard to contain. Curiosity was as calm as the eye of the typhoon, but gradually expanded its influence to the extent that it shook many of the thoughts surrounding it. I was curious with a pure heart. Agrane is a special presence for Richton. Then how special will it be?

“But there should be no delay once a month.”

“Yes.”

The man let the dog off the hook for fifteen days. Meeting him for the first time in fifteen days, it seems that I was looking forward to it even though I was afraid. About how emotionally he will react.

“Get out.”

The expectation was spectacularly off. Because I didn’t care about Richton. My feet didn’t move. Her tongue moved several times behind my hardened lips. I wanted to ask you why you are so calm.

“Do you have something to say?”

He raised his head belatedly and stared into my eyes. I couldn’t read what was on his mind.

“No.”

I walked slowly out of the office. Berkne’s voice echoed through the passage and headed for the hall on the first floor.

‘Because His Excellency considers us special, we must not close our eyes foolishly.’

I was wondering why he was making such a big deal out of nowhere.

‘Was I being seen through?’

If so, chances were high that Richton would have predicted what I thought. Then she could understand why Berkne insisted on catching the clouds. Thoughts continued in my mind. Perhaps because of that, the headache, which had been quiet, began to grow again. I wanted to rinse my face with cold water, but I didn’t want to go to a crowded place with employees. I dipped my hands in the running water on the stream beyond patronage. The stream in autumn was colder than ever.

“Go straight and you’ll find a swamp.”

It was when I looked blankly down at the pale face on the surface of the water. Behind her back, a relaxed voice was heard as if dandelion seeds were swaying in the wind.

“If you cross the swamp to the wolf’s land, you’ll see Count Giorta. Why don’t you run to the count while you’re at it?”

There was only one person in Ingord who offended me by just using his voice. I glanced back. I don’t know if I came earlier or not, but a half-nodding-faced Kean was sitting against a low wall.

“I’m worried that it’s a bastard who guards someone’s house, I’m going crazy because I can’t even copy his words.”

Kean burst into a grin at my answer.

“I guess you don’t want to run away anymore. You got used to it very well. This brother’s advice paid off?”

I don’t know who’s calling who a brother. I didn’t even feel worth replying to. When I closed my mouth, the surroundings regained peace with the sound of running water and the singing of birds. In the silence, useless thoughts began to fill my mind again. I’d rather have a conversation with that idiot than get a headache. I spoke again long after I stopped talking.

“Do you need to run away from such a peaceful place?”

“Peaceful? Haha.”

Kean’s voice was clearer than before, perhaps because he was away for a while. It was not long before the rustling noise between the grass made my ears ring.

“This is not peace, inexperienced Susan. It’s better to describe it as the eye of a typhoon.”

The warmth of the hands in the water was already cold enough. The sound of footsteps carrying weight continues slowly. Keane seemed to be returning to the duke’s mansion, seeing the size shrink.

“You should take care of yourself, too. It’s better not to write off my words as bullshit. Have I ever said anything wrong?”

How many minutes has it been? Looking back, the seat Kean was sitting on was empty, leaving only a pile of crushed grass.

****

1) reeds: a tall, slender-leaved plant of the grass family, which grows in water or on marshy ground.