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Translator: thursdays PR: scarcecrow
Cayena gently patted his back. It was a warm show of support.
Raphael leaned into that hand, holding Cayena tighter in his arms.
Did he really have to give Cayena the letter from Madame Elivan in his coat pocket?
Raphael continued to worry up to now. He couldn’t predict how Cayena would act when he told her the truth.
Would she cry? Or will she be aloof? Would she quietly resign herself and accept it? If not, would she be frustrated and angry?
His insides felt messy and complicated.
Cayena looked very troubled when she patted Raphael on the back. She couldn’t let go of him. He acted as if he had escaped from a dark tunnel the moment he saw her.
What in the world happened? Wasn’t it quite serious if this man couldn’t hide his vulnerability?
‘Who made him act like this?’
Cayena was senselessly shaken when Raphael hugged her like he never intended to let her go.
‘Let’s calm down. Calm.’
After some time, Raphael loosened his hold on Cayena. However, he continued to embrace her. Raphael opened his mouth.
“I want to ask you something.”
Cayena awkwardly pulled herself back and said, “Go ahead.”
“If you had to choose between a sweet lie and an unhappy truth, which would you choose?”
“The truth,” Cayena answered without hesitation. “After all, unhappiness is in my due.”
As she said that, she got a hunch. “It looks like you have some bad news to share.”
“……”
Cayena smiled warmly. She was grateful for his concern and consideration.
New misfortunes would create new gashes, but that was all right. She had accepted that such was a part of life.
“I’m fine, so tell me.”
‘I wish he’d let go of me already and speak.’
A small sigh slipped out.
Raphael stepped back as if he had read Cayena’s mind. He pulled out an envelope from his chest pocket.
“This is the reply Baroness Clarence Elivan wrote to Your Highness.”
Cayena passively accepted the letter. She was puzzled.
‘Why is Raphael delivering my nanny’s reply?’
“Duke, how did this…?”
Raphael dejectedly opened his mouth.
“Baroness Elivan has passed away.”
The hand receiving the envelope stopped. Raphael had spoken the truth.
“I sent someone to Baroness Elivan when I heard that Your Highness wanted to bring her back to the capital.”
Cayena looked down at the exterior of the envelope.
There was a picture of her nanny pushing her on a swing, reminding her of distant memories.
“It was disguised as suicide, but the circumstances, including this letter, show that it was murder. I apologize for reading the contents of the letter without permission.”
Cayena opened the envelope and read the letter.
「To my dearly missed Princess Cayena.
I remember it just like yesterday, how I pushed you on the swing with my hands, but you’ve grown.
Thank you for not forgetting an old woman like me.
It must have been difficult for Your Highness to bring me back to the capital. In my long time there, I have heard and seen things.
The imperial palace I saw was one that was acting completely against Your Highness.
So, I feel no such thing as resentment.
If Your Highness needs me, I am ready to jump back into it.
I hope this letter is well received.
Yours, Clarence Elivan.」
It wasn’t a sentimental letter.
Cayena remembered her nanny had a very upright manner. Still, her strong will and affection were fully recognizable in the letter.
“The prince’s faction was also found to be making a move to appoint Relevance Dotty as the head maid.”
Hearing the added explanation, Cayena returned the letter to the envelope.
“I see.”
That was the end of her response.
“If it weren’t for you, Duke, I would never have received this letter. I feel apologetic that you always help me like this.”
Cayena looked very normal. She smiled appropriately and made a suitably sad expression. There was no excess or lack in any component of her response.
“I didn’t think I would receive this kind of sad news about my nanny. I hope the killer will be caught.”
“The duchy will continue to pursue the criminal.”
Cayena nodded. “I suppose the hug before was meant to comfort me.”
It did intend to console her, but it wasn’t just because of Madame Elivan.
Raphael kept quiet.
With a slightly tired face, Cayena gave a small smile and said, “…I think we should end here today.”
“Are you all right?”
“Honestly, I’m a little shocked, but my circumstances aren’t ideal for me to fall into despair.”
Even so, it wasn’t an issue that one could be so calm about. Raphael was even more concerned about the fact that there seemed to be no crack in the princess’s behavior.
He turned around and grabbed Cayena as she tried to leave the parlor.
“Again and again, I’ll reach out my hand to you.”
“….I’ll talk to you again next time, Duke Kedrey.”
Cayena cooly said her goodbyes.
The hem of the dress fluttered slightly as she walked at a faster pace than usual. Her posture as she walked with her back straight belied no problems.
Olivia glanced at Cayena, who returned expressionlessly to her bedroom after finishing her meeting with Raphael. Something about her aura was strange.
Upon arriving in the bedroom, Cayena sent out all the maids that were inside. Confused, they all left the room.
Then, Cayena screamed silently.
‘Rezef—!’
It was too obvious who the culprit was.
Madame Dotty had a bad relationship with the Evans family. They were competing for the same privileges. In other words, there was no way the Evans family would move to make her the head maid.
Cayena’s blood ran cold.
Pretending to be calm in front of Raphael, pretending to be okay—it made her insides burn.
It was her fault that her nanny died. This wouldn’t have happened if Cayena didn’t reach out to her. Cayena had overlooked her situation and paid the price for her desires.
It was a mistake. She wasn’t careful enough.
She knew what kind of child Rezef was, but because he was still young, because he wasn’t born a wicked person, because he was her younger brother, because they were abused together…
There were many reasons. She justified his actions. She had to act like an adult. She had to take care of that child.
That poor child who had never received affection…
However, Rezef destroyed all of Cayena’s efforts at once.
He must have thought that it was fine to do this.
He must have been acting as he wished, all to teach Cayena a lesson. For Cayena to know her place.
That was what it was: a message to know her place.
That she was still his paper princess and marionette. The thread she thought she had cut tightened around her body.
She was powerless. She didn’t possess enough strength to endure this world.
At this rate, she may die earlier than she did in her first life.
‘How long did I originally live?’
She died before she was thirty years old. Was she twenty-five or twenty-six?
A feeling of desperate powerlessness covered her whole body. She had thought that she would be able to rise to the surface as long as she struggled hard, but the water was too deep.
Cayena was sinking.[1]
“Why did you do that?”
Quiet resentment flowed through her lips, but no one was there to hear it.
“I’m your only sister…”
That was why she tried so hard to stop thinking about the past, to forget, to forgive everything.
She just wished for the freedom to quietly leave this place and live in peace.
She was stupid.
Cayena was now well aware of her blunder.
Ah… She could never protect herself by acting timidly.
Cayena looked at the envelope in her hand with shadowed eyes.
“I need strength.”
She needed a rod to discipline her younger brother, who was so accustomed to taking things from her.
“If you keep trying to take what is mine, I will take away what you want the most.”
If she did, Rezef would realize he shouldn’t act so wickedly in the future, wouldn’t he?
[1] The specific Korean word used here has several meanings: sinking, withdrawing, and thinking deeply.