CH 41

Damn it, I can’t be swayed by such a crude spirit. The Spirit of Light, which is only granted to Ray, can never be my comfort.

I will be the emperor.

I raised the tip of my lip, biting my lip hard enough to bleed.

“Goodbye, Raymond.”

I drew the sword that had stuck in Raymond’s chest, which dropped me into the depths of sin. Red blood spurted out as if to bless my accession to the throne.

The spirits of light that circulated around me and Raymond gathered around Raymond and shone brightly, then disappeared as they lost their light momentarily. Darkness overtook me as if it told me about Raymond’s death.

Yes, bye. A terribly pure sun, always shining brightly covering me.

So I took the victory, long dreams, the throne. I had reached the glorious future I was pursuing.

a night when the sun is completely down. I stood alone in the Emperor’s room, where there was no light left.

By the way.

‘oh, did it hurt?’

Damn it, Ray was the same then and now.

In the final battle, was Ray sincere? Did he have any intention of defeating me?

I knew secretly that It was only in a moment that he was shaken. It’s a long time to make tens of thousands of judgments for a person who has reached the level of Ray.

That if I had a heart, I could somehow stop the blade from entering his chest.

Seriously, is it true that I lost Ray?  Or It’s not that Ray lost? The question has continued since that day and is still unanswered.

However, Raymond Milanaire, who can answer the questions of the day, no longer exists.

I crouched in the dimly lit night, trying to forget Ray’s memories.

‘Why me… Why did I come back like this?’

Everyone has no memory, so why me?

I felt my return was a punishment. I accepted death, and I closed my eyes lightly.

Then, in the dark, the door creaked open and Ray came in. A long beam of light slipped through the crack in the door and reached the bed where I slept.

“Dorothea, aren’t you sleeping?”

There, Rey was standing with a light spirit as a lamp. I closed my eyes and sighed as I looked at Ray in his pajamas.

“Why you again…”

why is it you?

“I think there is a noise coming from your room…Just in case you can’t sleep because you are sick.”

Rey hesitated, grabbing the doorknob. There was a sign of sleep around his eyes. He seemed worried that my arm with the cast would feel uncomfortable while I was sleeping.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m sick or not. You can just leave me alone!”

“However… You got hurt trying to help me too.”

I was the first to not let myself get hurt.

Ray muttered like that and fiddled with the doorknob.

“It’s… it’s just a coincidence!”

“Then why are you doing that?”

Ray, who even refuted me, carefully approached my bed with a drowsy walk. The spirits of light lit up the air like fireflies.

“I’ll stay by your side until you fall asleep, Dorothea.”

Ray smiled as he sat down on a velvet stool next to the bed.

I looked at Rey with a blunt expression. Unlike Ethan, Ray had nothing on his head, so he had a pure white expression. It would be a bad idea to scribble lines on that pure white face and make it dirty with black content. it wouldn’t be good

I shut my mouth as I tried to provoke Ray.

Meanwhile, Ray felt lucky that Dorothea didn’t kick her out. Ray flew the Spirit of Light to the ceiling.

“Look at this, Dorothy. Twinkle twinkle like a star. Pretty, right?”

Rey worked hard to move the light spirit and embroidered the ceiling like the night sky. It was like the night sky on a summer day when stars poured down.

“It’s not pretty. I don’t like the spirit of light. It’s too bright.”

It’s too bright.

“Ah, yes… Too bright? Dorothea needs to sleep.”

Ray was embarrassed and made the light spirits disappear.

I lay down with my back on Ray. When I turned completely over, Ray covered me with the blanket. An idiot trying to be my brother. I’m not thankful for anything.

I lay down and looked out the window, breathing quietly.

“Dorothea…You know, did Dorothea never miss Mother?”

Ray, who said he would put me to sleep, interrupted my sleep by talking to me. Besides talking about our mother, it is out of the blue.

“No.”

“Dorothea is so mature…”

I could feel Ray leaning his head on the bed.

“Even when I was 14, I wanted to see Mother.”

“I am sorry.”

I mumbled as I turned around.

“What?”

“Mother died because of me.”

I clenched my fists under the blanket.

The mother you miss so much died because of me, what should I do? I can’t even bring her back to life. I’ve even already killed your mother twice.

“What do you mean, Dorothea?”

“Mother died while giving birth to me. She wouldn’t have died if I hadn’t been born. You would have lived happily ever after with your mother.”

Carnan and Ray must have lived happily ever after with Alice, the late empress.

When I imagined my family without me, it always envisioned a happy and warm image. Carnan spends a day full of laughter with the woman she loves, Alice, and their kind and cute son Ray grows up with a lot of love from them.

It’s like having a picnic with the three of them spread out on a mat in the garden and talking together. The three of them lie in the same bed, smile happily and fall asleep in the warmth…it looks like that.

However, my birth destroyed the warm family’s appearance. when I came, it was not warm at all. A distant, cold relationship where you can’t feel any of the energy of your family. I believed that it was the first original sin of many sins I have.

“Dorothea.”

Rey’s voice came from behind me. It was a voice with his head leaning against the bed.

“Don’t say that.”

Ray said with a firm command tone. Just like when he told me to surrender.

I turned my head to look at Ray, because Ray’s tone now, I had never heard before. Contrary to his firm words, Ray was pouting his lips with his walnut chin. Is he crying?

“I thought I was lucky to have Dorothea.”

Ray clenched the sleeves of my pajamas.

One side of my heart ached.

“To you, I may be an idiot, but I know this. That mother won’t regret giving birth to Dorothea.”

“….”

“It’s not your fault that Mother died. that…It’s just like that. like you saved me, It’s like I came to visit you who can’t sleep.”

Ray muttered.

I had no idea what nonsense he was talking about. What the hell is it just like that? That doesn’t fit the example at all. I lowered my gaze at his stupid words.

“You’re really an idiot.”

When I was dealing with a fool, I felt like I was becoming a fool in the same way, so I thought I should not deal with it.

“Dorothea is also an idiot sometimes.”

Ray murmured defiantly.

who’s the idiot?

I did not respond to the stupid’s words and turned my back to lie down again.

There was a long gap in the darkness after that, but I could feel Ray restless behind me. Obviously, there is something he wants to say.

“You know, Dorothy….”

In the end, Ray can’t stand it and opens his mouth.

Do you want to put me to sleep or do you want to chat with me? I sighed in secret.

“Would you like to go up to Lampas with me…?”

“No.”

I rejected Ray’s courageous offer with a single blow. Do you want me to go back up when I’m finally getting used to this life?

“But your arm hurts…”

“I’m injured, so I need to recuperate.”

I looked up and raised my casted arm. In my words, Ray did not speak for a long time, as if looking for something to refute.

“What if your arm is better? You can now hold a sword. You still don’t want to go to Episteme? You’re so good at swordsmanship, so if you really come to Episteme…”

“I’m not going, I’m never going.”

Ray smiles bitterly at me.

“Well, Dorothea is good at everything by herself.”

Ray thinks Dorothea did everything so well by herself that there was nothing more to learn from Episteme, so the pressure to come to Episteme did not work anymore.

Ray leaned His head on the bed and muttered.

“I want to live here with Dorothea too.”

“You should go back.”

“yes…”

“….”

“Dorothea, can I come over here again?” Ray mumbled in a sleepy voice.

I wondered how to answer his question. This Palace was not originally built exclusively for me. Since it was a place for the imperial family to freely use for recreational purposes, I didn’t have to forbid Ray’s coming, so Ray doesn’t even need to ask for permission…

“I Will think about it,” I replied bluntly.

But there was no answer from Ray. Instead, I could hear a deep breath from the back. When I turned around, Rey was asleep on the edge of the bed with her arms crossed. His hips and bent waist on the stool looked very uncomfortable.

“Who put you to sleep like that?”

How to put a person with insomnia to sleep on a child who has never stayed up all night? I stood up and sighed heavily. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep today. I pulled Ray with one uninjured arm.

“Ugh…” Rey groaned and turned to complain.

“Ray, go to bed.”

“Yes…”

Ray, who was half asleep, roughly dragged his body and put it on the bed, and fell asleep immediately.

I got up and put Ray’s legs, which were out of bed, on the bed.

He smiled as he held the blanket tightly in his hand. It is like saying that it is good to cover him with a blanket.

“Huft…”

He complicates people’s minds and sleeps well. I looked down at Ray’s face in the moonlight.

If you hadn’t died then, would I have been able to live another life? Would the world be a better place if I surrendered?

I Looked out the dark window, waiting for the sun to rise. I could see a firefly flying away in the distance.