/
In contrast to his relaxed attitude in front of Dorothea, he was desperate to marry her. Because his life depended on it.
He pretended he wasn’t in a hurry, saying that Dorothea had other options than marriage, but in fact, he felt like each day was walking on thin ice.
Living on the edge, wondering when the floor he is walking on will break.
Marriage to Dorothea was to turn the thin ice he had stood on into solid and stable ground.
If he marries Dorothea, the spirit of light will always be by his side.
Then he wouldn’t have to be afraid of the dark night, he wouldn’t have to worry about when he would be able to meet Raymond, and he wouldn’t be afraid that his spirit would be out of control on days when he was not feeling well.
If only he could have Millanaire by his side, a fountain of life when he is suffering from the thirst of death every day.
“Theon, if your condition doesn’t get better, it will be difficult for you to get married anyway.”
Grand Duke Fried gave up hope that he could marry.
If he tells them about the dark spirits, everyone will be afraid.
Moreover, even if he does get married, he has to be tied to Milanaire for purification.
An incurable disease for which there is only one cure, Milanaire.
A terrible disease that can even harm others.
Who wants to have him as a partner, who must be subordinated to Milanaire for purification?
Whether on a trip, at home, in a war, or an important or emergency situation, he had to choose Milanaire over his family.
If he doesn’t receive purification from Milanaire, he’ll become an obstacle to his family.
‘me too
 I don’t want to live like that.’
Theon clenched his fists.
He wanted to be free from Milanaire more than anyone else.
He wanted to return to Fredia to succeed his father, Grand Duke Fried, to travel to other regions for desired research, or to respond to the invitation of a nobleman from a distant province.
Furthermore, he hated himself for causing trouble and burdening Milanaire.
Even if it was a matter of life and death for him, it wouldn’t be important to others.
If you are busy, it will be something you forget and want to postpone, and it will be annoying on a difficult day, and it may feel like a shackle holding your ankle.
Why don’t we do that a day later? It’s not like you are going to die right away, so you can endure it for a day or two, right?
That’s what might come to mind.
And actually, Theon did, too.
As Raymond got busier, he felt more and more guilty about asking Raymond to do the purification, and more and more days went by where he said, “I’ll just have to wait one more day,” or “I’ll just have to endure a couple of days when it’s going to be crazy.”
That’s what caused his spirit to go out of control at the time of the debutante.
Not wanting to bother Raymond, he endured the pain and finally lost control.
If Raymond becomes emperor, Theon will have a harder time asking him to spare some time.
So marrying Dorothea is the best way for him to survive.
Still, there was only one reason why he couldn’t force Dorothea.
Because Theon Fried really liked Dorothea.
And because he knows the dark, sad light that Dorothea occasionally reveals whenever she sees him.
‘It’s the same face you have now when my words seem to be a sword to you. I wish you happiness, but you make the saddest face in the world.’
At his words, Dorothea shed tears and smiled brightly, hiding the dark feelings inside her.
‘Can I give her happiness? Can I ask her to stay with me?’
He wanted Dorothea, who kept her deepest wounds a secret, to see the light.
Not the “darkness” of Theon Fried.
So Theon didn’t want to hold her by the ankle.
He didn’t want to put a heavy burden on the wound that had been covered by touching her tender pity.
He hopes that the marriage she chose for pity’s sake will not be her lifelong regret.
‘There must be another way, Theon.’
No other way than marriage.
Theon comforted his own foolishness of forsaking the opportunity.
at that time.
“Theon! Have you been well?”
Julia, who knew of her appointment with Dorothea today, was waiting in front of his house, worried about him.
Theon raised a heavy corner of his mouth and nodded.
“Julia, do you know how embarrassed I was about the restaurant you recommended?”
Theon removed the dark shadows with light words.
“why? How famous is Karo these days as a place to propose!”
“My proposal is not like that.”
“Still, a woman’s heart moves more in that kind of atmosphere. The food is good, right?”
“Yeah, the food, I’ll admit.”
Theon nodded and Julia stared at him and grabbed his arm and dragged him.
“After all, the place I chose is reliable. Rather, I found this interesting book and bought it. It’s a new book by William Schiller, a playwright sponsored by Ray
.” Julia smiled.
Curious about what happened to Dorothea, the reason Julia didn’t ask, even though she wanted to ask, was because she noticed Theon’s dark expression on his face.
“Thanks, Julie.”
Theon looked at Julia’s back and let out a small sigh.
Julia, who was ahead of him, looked up and smiled.
“You’re welcome.”
* * *
“Are you concerned about Ethan Bronte?”
Theon knew her feelings better than Dorothea herself.
‘So
 Do I like Ethan?’
Dorothea’s brow furrowed in anguish.
Dorothea couldn’t believe her feelings.
‘Ethan and I have been seeing each other for about 20 years, including before and now.’
Dorothea had never thought of Ethan as the opposite sex.
Of course, there were times when her heart fluttered at his beauty.
But it wasn’t because she liked him. It was a universal feeling that everyone but Dorothea felt.
But suddenly Ethan began to look different.
‘So absurdly, so shockingly ‘out of the blue’. Maybe it started with
Ethan’s confession?’
‘So I just fell for it when he said he liked me?’
‘That’s too easy, Dorothea
’
‘It took me so long to forget Theon, how can I do that?’
Dorothea didn’t want to admit that cheap feeling.
She hated herself for falling in love so easily when she’d suffered so much in love with Theon.
Dorothea sighed and looked out the window, lying face down on her desk.
She fiddled with Ethan’s brooch she had placed on the desk and rolled it around.
On her hand, a golden light resembling Ethan’s eyes gleamed in the sunlight.
Beloved Dorothea.
A word she’d never thought of before her return, and it made her feel good and her heart fluttered.
There was a Dorothea Millanaire in Ethan’s world, and she wanted to live in it.
But she still wasn’t sure.
‘Is this love?’
‘Isn’t it nice to just be loved? Or maybe it’s a feeling of gratitude
.’
‘Ethan is the first person to love and trust me like this. So what if I’m just so grateful?’
‘I really don’t know.’
She had solved all the questions on the Episteme entrance exam, but she couldn’t figure out the answer to this one.
‘I don’t know people’s feelings, I don’t know if it’s right to follow them, and I don’t even know what choices are necessary to live a good life.’
‘Since it’s my second life, I don’t want to ruin it and make good choices, but why don’t I know the answer even if I live the same life one more time?’
‘If I had made that many mistakes in my past life, I would have known.’
“I am stupid
”
Dorothea ruffled her hair in complexity.
At that moment, Clara, who had just entered the room, ran to her in surprise.
“Princess! What happen!”
“Clara
”
Clara looked at Dorothea lying on her desk as if she was about to melt. It was the first time she had seen Dorothea very depressed.
“Are there any serious problems?”
Clara asked Dorothea seriously.
‘Maybe one of the important things she was discussing with Raymond went wrong.’
‘Or maybe there is a problem with the support plan for single mothers that she has been working hard on lately.’
“Clara, am I doing something right?”
As Dorothea buried her head on the desk, Clara rubbed her shoulders and said,
“My princess, you are doing so well that it is almost inhuman. There should be mistakes and things you can’t do, but you’re good at everything by yourself, because of that I sometimes feel sad.”
“I’m afraid of making the wrong choice, Clara.”
Dorothea lifted her head when Clara comforted her and looked up at Clara standing behind her.
‘I thought it would make me feel more comfortable as I thought of my second life as an opportunity rather than a punishment, but it became more burdensome.’
Punishment is something you live with and endure with guilt, but opportunity is something you choose, create, and seize.
Do better, be better, be nicer, and make everyone happier. Because you can’t fail twice.
Clara then smiled, gently tidying up Dorothea’s tangled hair.
“I don’t know what worries you so much, but if it’s you, I’m sure you will do well.”
“Clara only thinks good of me.”
“The princess is a good person, how can I think badly of you?”
“It’s biased.”
TL: Biased is showing an unreasonable preference or dislike based on personal opinion.
Dorothea muttered sullenly.
Then Clara’s hand, who was arranging her hair, gently stroked Dorothea’s hair.
“If it’s a serious problem, should I listen to it? I may not come up with a good answer, but sometimes we find an answer when we speak openly.”
After a moment’s hesitation at Clara’s words, Dorothea opened her mouth carefully.
“Yes, there are two birds.”
“Bird?”
Clara tilted her head at the sudden appearance of the bird.
“Yeah, the first bird is my favorite bird, but because of my mistake, that bird got angry and flew outside. So I worried about it every day and finally forgot it, but the bird got hurt and came back. I’m the only one who can take care of the bird. and
 this bird wants to live with me again.”
“Well
 What about the other birds?”
Clara listened to Dorothea’s words with a serious expression.
“The other one has been visiting my house since long ago and sang a song for me and plucked flowers for me. but I didn’t pay much attention to the second bird before because of the first bird
 But after the first bird leaves, I’m thankful that this bird is still by my side.”
“ohh
”
Clara’s expression turned curious.
“I can only raise one bird, so which one should I raise?”